The country was tense. Heated Facebook exchanges occurred daily. People equated the Ferguson "riots" with the LA riots of the 90s, forgetting that over 60 people died in the LA riots. Regardless, it was a very serious situation, and the tension between police (and many white Americans) and black Americans was at a level not seen in years. America, specifically white America, needed something, anything, to assure us that everything would return to normal. All we saw on tv were black people and police yelling at each other, oftentimes exchanging projectiles: water bottles on one side, metal gas canisters/rubber bullets/pepper spray on the other. America was seemingly falling apart.
And then, an image went viral. An image that restored our faith in humanity. An image that held within it the promise of a better country. The promise that our differences were not so vast and our grievances were not so serious that a simple gesture of kindness couldn't fix it. And here was that gesture captured on film for the world to see: a black child at a protest in Portland, Oregon, crying his eyes out, embracing a white cop in a riot helmet. Beautiful. Powerful
This was the real America.
Tragically, none of that actually happened. When the photo went viral, the media framed it as an inspiring, kind-hearted moment that we all need to emulate. We should all try to be like the young boy, clearly upset at the events occurring in the world, yet embracing someone viewed as "the enemy." If we were just able to put aside our differences for one moment, we could come together as a nation and move on from the racial tension.
Of course, that was complete bullshit. But it's not uncommon for the media, and us, the consumers, to reach for feel good moment that can distract us from the deeper issues and give us hope that "normalcy" will return.
This particular case is worse than normal because the story behind the photo completely contradicts the positive narrative that was created. But worst of all, and the reason that I'm discussing this image, is that the boy in the picture, along with his adopted family, just died in a crash that has been deemed intentional.
The boy, Devonte, was adopted with 5 other children by two white women. After the pic went viral, one of his mothers was quick to explain how she had encouraged Devonte to "face his fears" of police by...confronting and embracing police. This should have been the first sign that something was seriously wrong in this family situation.
Even if the family situation wasn't fucked up, the idea that it is up to black people (black children even!) to ease racial tension and stop police brutality would still be problematic, insulting even. The issue of police brutality is not going to be solved by black people hugging cops. It's not about them "confronting their fears." That's trying to treat a symptom instead of the disease. In fact, it's trying to "solve" a natural, life-saving reaction that many black people have towards police based on personal experience and US history.
In addition to all that, the family situation was fucked up. One of the mothers had been charged with domestic violence. Friends expressed concern about how the women were treating the children, and neighbors reported that they would deprive children of food as punishment.
So there were some serious issues. On top of the fact that the women were abusive assholes, they were also white parents of adopted children of color. It's great that they were willing to adopt outside of their race, but oftentimes that willingness is based on a vision of one's self as some kind of "savior." I've personally experienced this mentality; at least two people on separate occasions have told me they want to adopt African babies to save them. And if that conscious or subconscious attitude doesn't exist, white parents with black children still often have difficulty dealing with the realities of race and the myriad issues their children will face.
In this instance, the mother could not have been more clueless if she were Stacey Dash. She was offensively clueless. Videos of black people getting killed or abused were going viral every week. Across the country, black people were protesting the very real, very long-standing issue of police violence against minority communities. Yet she thought that Devonte's intense fear of cops was just something he needed to "get over," not a pervasive societal issue that we all need to confront.
A lot of good-hearted white people think they are improving race relations simply by adopting a child of another race, or by dating someone of another race. It's good to not be biased in who you date or love, but it has literally zero effect on society in general. You don't deserve an award. You're a normal person. Congrats! Similarly, many people think they're helping when they make their child do something like wear a sign that says "free hugs," but often they don’t fully understand the implications of their actions. And of course, sometimes, it's just to make themselves feel better.
Devonte shouldn't have had to go through that moment. He was clearly not comfortable or happy. Then he had to deal with the fact that the whole world saw him in this intense, emotional moment, and that was what he would be known for going forward. He also had to deal with his mothers telling anybody within earshot that they "saved" him from a life of violence and drugs by adopting him. So it's no assumption to think they thought of themselves as saviors; they literally said it!
I don't want to theorize too much about what was going through anybody's mind, but I was always disturbed by that picture. All I could see was the fear and hurt in Devonte's face. Knowing his family history simply reinforces that feeling. Devonte's biological aunt fought for custody and lost in 2010. Was he aware of that? There were allegations of abuse by his adopted parents later in 2010. Was he as afraid of his new mothers as he was of police? It's very possible that in that moment captured on film, he subconsciously or even consciously knew he was being used as a pawn in a fake uplifting moment.
Inspectors believe the parents intentionally drove their family off a cliff. Neighbors reported them two weeks before the crash, telling police that Devonte came to their houses every day asking for food. The poor boy probably lived his whole life in fear and was killed by two people who viewed themselves as his savior. That is the story. It is sad as hell, but it's more interesting and it's more real than the story we wanted to believe.
I Love You All...Class Dismissed.
