tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91506864957775453382024-03-14T12:13:35.299-04:00Spoven Weedle Presents...Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.comBlogger229125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-31194560001997519082024-03-12T16:08:00.002-04:002024-03-13T21:24:35.235-04:00Eulogy for Mom<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 15.5467px; margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Funeral for Marie Farr Elterich</span></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 15.5467px; margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Friday, March 8, 2024</span></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 15.5467px; margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">St. Mark The Evangelist Church, West Hartford, CT</span></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 15.5467px; margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><i><span style="color: black;">In honor of my mom, please consider donating to the</span><a href="https://www.michaeljfox.org/"> Michael J. Fox Foundation</a><span style="color: black;">.</span></i></span></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 15.5467px; margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 15.5467px; margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Eulogy by Geoff Elterich</span></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 15.5467px; margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 15.5467px; margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Well this was one way to get me back in church, Mom...</span></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 15.5467px; margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 15.5467px; margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Strength. Everyone talked about how strong my mother was. And everyone is right. I just wish she didn’t have to be so strong. She went through so much, even before she had Parkinson's. She was a Special Ed teacher, in Hartford, in the 80s and 90s. That’s tough. Then she fought Parkinson's for 27 years. Among other things. I had totally forgotten that she had breast cancer at one point. Around the same time, she had major surgery on her spine. Then later in that same year, she basically died.</span></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 15.5467px; margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;">But she came back. Miracle Marie.</span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 15.5467px; margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;"> <br />And almost as soon as she got home, after being in a coma then being in the hospital for over a month, she wanted to go out to eat at the Corner Pug, because she wasn’t gonna let this thing make her miss out on living. Her life was not going to be defined by her illness. So we took her out. I was terrified the whole time, thinking something bad was gonna happen, but she just went along like no big deal. That’s how she was. It wasn’t good enough to just be alive, she wanted to keep living, and she wasn’t gonna let anything stop her. She wanted to make the most of her time here, doing the things she loved. Spending time with her family and friends. </span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 15.5467px; margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;">Her life, especially the last 7 years or so was really tough on a daily basis, but there were great moments, and that’s what living is about, creating and experiencing those moments that live on and make everything else worth it.<br /> <br />When a lot of people think of someone who is strong they often think of someone who doesn’t show emotions. But if you know my mom, you know that is far from the truth. She cried. A lot. She embraced her emotions, and that made her stronger.<br /> <br />And of course, my dad made her stronger. Ken. The Rock. The most beautiful yet saddest thing I've seen in my life is their relationship. That’s the paradox of life though, right? Beauty and cruelty both coexisting. But through it all they had each other.<br /> <br />And it wasn’t just my dad. My aunt Jane, Bob and Diana, Mike, our cousins. Our family is strength. and beyond that she had such a strong community behind her. You can really tell a lot about somebody by their friends, and her friends are so amazing. I know it was not easy at times to see her going through it. but friends visited the hospital, at home, took her out to eat or to a play. her friends still showed up. And that meant the world to me and the world to her and my dad.<br /> <br />She always wanted to create moments with the ones she loved. Moments to remember, moments to bond with each other. Hosting parties for family and friends, Birthday parties for me and mike, later for her granddaughters, who meant the world to her. Holidays, we all know how much she liked Christmas. Some might say a little too much. The santa figurines. The singing toys. Dad maybe we can get rid of all the singing toys now? <br /> <br />My mom loved traveling, camping, going to the beach, creating moments.<br /> <br />She also loved quiet moments. She taught me the love of a good book and a cat on your lap. She taught me so much. She taught me how to teach, and how to advocate for students.<br /> <br />And almost a year ago to this day, she was at my wedding. Thanks for the anniversary gift mom. Gotta make it about her right?!? I know she was so happy the whole year leading up to it, and then she was crying through the whole thing. Tears of joy of course. Because she knew I was in good hands. And our mother son dance...I'm just so happy I got to create that moment for her because she created so many for me.<br /> <br />Mom. Mother. Wife. Sister. Daughter. Grandmother. Aunt. Teacher. Friend. Den mother. Leader. Fighter. </span><span style="font-family: times;">Horrible singer. Let’s be real here. I can say it because I'm her son. But that didn’t stop her did it? She loved it. She once told me when it comes to singing “whatever you do, sing loud. May not be good. But they’ll hear you. And you'll know you gave it your best.” It took me a while to understand that, and to appreciate it. I couldn't help but to eventually admire it. </span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 15.5467px; margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;">But yeah, as a kid, Mom singing was the worst thing that could happen. But she loved it and wasn’t gonna let anyone stop her. She'd even force you to sing with her. She wanted to tap in to that communal spirit. Christmas carols around the block, songs before Christmas dinner. </span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 15.5467px; margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;">And the cruel irony is, when the Parkinson's got worse, it took her voice, it took her singing away. And as much as I hated her singing for so long, especially when she did it to wake me up for school, these last few years I wanted nothing more than to hear her sing again. So it goes.</span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 15.5467px; margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;"> <br />And so to honor her legacy, I wanted to give her one last sing along. One last moment with my mom that can live on within all of us. This is one of her favorite songs and she wanted it sung at her funeral so, here you go mom. Will the Circle Be Unbroken.<br /> <br />I'm gonna do my best, so bear with me, but thankfully I have my rock, my strength. Another thing mom taught me was to choose your friends and your partner well. I think I did. Just so happens she's a teacher, and her birthday is two days apart from my mom's.<br /> <br />So we're gonna start it off and try to set the melody and pace, and I'd love it if you could all join in. Nice and loud so Mom can hear you.</span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 15.5467px; margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 15.5467px; margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eq1m2s3rzE&ab_channel=NittyGrittyDirtBand-Topic" target="_blank">Will the Circle Be Unbroken</a></span><span style="font-family: times;"><br /> <br /><span style="color: black;">I was standing by my window<br /></span><span style="color: black;">On one cold and cloudy day<br /></span><span style="color: black;">When I saw that hearse come rolling<br /></span><span style="color: black;">For to carry my mother away</span></span></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 15.5467px; margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">Will the circle be unbroken</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">By and by, Lord, by and by</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">There's a better home a-waiting</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">In the sky, Lord, in the sky</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">I said to that undertaker</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">Undertaker please drive slow</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">For this lady you are carrying</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">Lord, I hate to see her go</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">Will the circle be unbroken</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">By and by, Lord, by and by</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">There's a better home a-waiting</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">In the sky, Lord, in the sky</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">Oh, I followed close behind her</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">Tried to hold up and be brave</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">But I could not hide my sorrow</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">When they laid her in the grave</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">Will the circle be unbroken</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">By and by, Lord, by and by</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">There's a better home a-waiting</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">In the sky, Lord, in the sky</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 15.5467px; margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="color: black;">Will the circle be unbroken</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">By and by, Lord, by and by</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">There's a better home a-waiting</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">In the sky, Lord, in the sky</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 15.5467px; margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;"><span style="color: black;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 15.5467px; margin: 0in 0in 8pt; text-align: left;"><i style="color: black; font-family: times;">I Love You All...Class Dismissed. Bye, Mom. </i></p>Stoned Willy Poonhoundhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065243902913373733noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-12538577261708374562021-06-16T14:26:00.008-04:002021-06-16T22:08:28.736-04:00Cody, The Golden Boy, A Perfect Companion<p><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">The other day I walked into my parents' house, and for the first time in 13 years, I was not greeted by a playful bark, a wagging tail, and a joyful mass of golden fur pressing against my legs. That’s when it really hit me. Cody is gone.</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqICQpNlpkoxTdsXdfQKGNHzmhveghqXUmxqndojjRj65w27OfD_5Ixv3svbpsKWiOoFdJ4eDsYPA9PJ8wnPYNauU-1ZEjgrsDtcyteuoN8pfK-4SPVIIc3vj2mszukTZGiGaIXREm4_Kt/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqICQpNlpkoxTdsXdfQKGNHzmhveghqXUmxqndojjRj65w27OfD_5Ixv3svbpsKWiOoFdJ4eDsYPA9PJ8wnPYNauU-1ZEjgrsDtcyteuoN8pfK-4SPVIIc3vj2mszukTZGiGaIXREm4_Kt/w640-h480/DSCN0609.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">Cody was my parents’ dog, a Golden Retriever/Chow Chow mix, and he was beautiful. Long, soft golden hair, with curls around the ears, and a purple spotted tongue usually hanging out of his smiling mouth. He was exactly the type of dog you imagine when you want to get a dog. Loyal, loving, playful, chill, obedient, handsome, sweet, friendly, fluffy. A perfect companion. </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit; mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><div><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: #222222; font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF3xp67oPcGEwgYNZHVzCMSlsh6FjV87jEqneytwT12UyDdXOyCiPAzp_gUY-6QwxWl_b6NXyYS8N4lhldH4M1wnRRL2X4D9pyQKhPPXOoZrb83ldK9EqI2IqS3bCOYg2xxaS9YcMqwMuD/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF3xp67oPcGEwgYNZHVzCMSlsh6FjV87jEqneytwT12UyDdXOyCiPAzp_gUY-6QwxWl_b6NXyYS8N4lhldH4M1wnRRL2X4D9pyQKhPPXOoZrb83ldK9EqI2IqS3bCOYg2xxaS9YcMqwMuD/w640-h480/IMG_8733.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">He was the first dog my parents got after I moved out, so I never lived with him, but he always made their house feel like it was still home. Soon after they got him, it was like he had always been a part of our family. He would get so excited when I visited, rushing to the door and positioning himself between my legs so I would rub his head and butt at the same time.</span></div></div></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">Last year, he was diagnosed with cancer. I was sure he was going to die, because it was 2020 and nothing good could possibly happen. I was preparing for the heartbreak, but I was really more concerned about my parents, especially my Dad. With the pandemic, my mom in a wheelchair and suffering from Parkinson’s, and a cold winter setting in, this was the last thing he needed. It was too cruel. But my dad didn’t give up, and neither did Cody. He underwent treatment for the cancer, and although it wasn’t easy—he lost some weight, he coughed stuff up—he made it.</span></div><p style="text-align: center;"><img data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikCSJaINsEdw_WH2I_eUzMmfqm7eh8yoXvr5WZgaBOf7vkr_R-3-dTDik1JJDHLaCeyeZTGW5Gjw53ZlEETQwg4cjFCl8Z5a_QaTA3LI3hmdheFUIQsDsxej2EX5KPL1JTVuQ5T5lJmTfC/w640-h480/DSCN0595.JPG" width="640" /></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">It took a lot out of him, though, and he was almost 14 years old. His hind legs had been bothering him for a while, and by mid-May, they had completely given out. He couldn’t walk. He deserved comfort and peace. It was time to let him go. So my Dad, merciful as always, brought him to the vet and let him transition.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">My family always had great dogs. Ramses, a Golden Retriever, died a couple years after I was born. All I remember is that he was a good boy. Tuffy, another Golden, was there for my entire childhood and helped shape who I am almost as much as my parents did. He was anything but “tuff”, by the way. A sweet, fluffy boy. A real good dog. We got Dakota soon after we moved to West Hartford, when I was living at home, going to high school, and my brother was away at college. I was in a new town, in a new school, by myself. And I was a teenager. It was a time of great change, and Dakota helped me through it. He was a giant white horse of a pooch who would chase deer all over the golf course. A handsome, independently minded, but needy and loving pooch. Another good boy. He was too much for his previous owners’ to handle, but perfect for us. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">While we had Dakota, my parents raised a Fidelco guide dog for a year. Rachel was a good dog. It was an interesting experience because we had to (try to) maintain an emotional distance since she wasn’t staying long. That didn’t stop us from loving her. When she was done with training, she provided her services to an elderly woman with bad sight. After many years, Rachel retired, and she actually came back to live with my parents. Sadly, she passed away soon after. That entire experience taught me a lot about the process of fostering and doing something for the greater good. And it really made me admire my parents. Not many people are willing to sacrifice their time and efforts for others. Although, they did get all the benefits of a kind, loving dog for a year, so they made out pretty well, too.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbqkmozmuVeJuX0Z4SpDqnC4GHzeuPrbCOdTcbcrnCYFt4S2andFS9-ZZA38NuTWuXmnDT7vbvbxkNvO7lpyKix9a_5ZxJhdd_e2V4Socg7m2M0Jev9zqBAmxyw9tSA4YscaQMmdsQTonn/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img data-original-height="512" data-original-width="768" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbqkmozmuVeJuX0Z4SpDqnC4GHzeuPrbCOdTcbcrnCYFt4S2andFS9-ZZA38NuTWuXmnDT7vbvbxkNvO7lpyKix9a_5ZxJhdd_e2V4Socg7m2M0Jev9zqBAmxyw9tSA4YscaQMmdsQTonn/w400-h266/IMG_8750.JPG" width="400" /></a></span></div></div><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><img data-original-height="512" data-original-width="768" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtzRsSWPv4gt5jGdl5IUbApS62hgsCSvndh_JDoM7vFk_Y0P0bjFtIi3tPStnVS173QXm3wzAjkg-W11JYNxYuvhYpr6zs6eQP6JZ1jX2p5SnZ5wZtLPRK25_95SxFY6Ki6kQSjQHtVMso/w400-h266/IMG_8746.JPG" width="400" /></div></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><b>Dakota and Rachel, before she started working.</b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqzomQL43pKVm-YsNEAYKCoRBYmyllQaiyjhUgXz88tCdVr99HxXa98W29kUrYbpySXdZFCz52GmOViauOb5z2Vgj68ZGy73ssadEzAquHdotAIzJ2B-kF4MSZh8T63LTn2VTBOUWL9zfP/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqzomQL43pKVm-YsNEAYKCoRBYmyllQaiyjhUgXz88tCdVr99HxXa98W29kUrYbpySXdZFCz52GmOViauOb5z2Vgj68ZGy73ssadEzAquHdotAIzJ2B-kF4MSZh8T63LTn2VTBOUWL9zfP/w400-h300/IMG_8739.JPG" width="400" /></a></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: x-small;">Cody and Rachel, after her retirement, with Sophie, my brother's dog. She was a good girl, too.</span></b><br /><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">Then there was Cody. The sweetest dog. He did more in his life than most people. Literally. My dad brought him to nursing homes to volunteer as a comfort dog. And of course, he worked as an unofficial comfort pet at home, helping to get my parents through some tough years. He was a constant presence, always by my Dad’s side.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #222222;"><img data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitQh_0EedCc9nslzwLzqjn02EjSQ8acI1CZSnMYNnZywu5ewv2U-Ybi6HcL_yr4jY8ze-7JHHwJ5YM-p_cxKDSBuweZvIzjk0hu6tgtuMDv4XIJfaz44j9X5z1492xLsS7cj3TYU8adfEk/w640-h480/IMG_8738.JPG" width="640" /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Even on vacation in Florida.</b></span></span></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">At the beginning of this year, as the fear of Cody dying from cancer started to subside, we were blindsided by the sudden sickness and death of our kitty, Nola. It was devastating. She was only 11 months old, but the impact she made on our lives was immeasurable. Not having any other pets to comfort us only made it worse. Thankfully, Cody was there whenever I visited my parents, or when they visited us. It was almost as if he stayed around to get my parents though the winter and to help me through Nola’s death. Even in the short moments I saw him, he brought such great comfort.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ5Tn8O9YTFwfwOPpDL5ObwLN7ayFu1DDT_z78sA6_P-n5JDuw8DivMdi4FCxT9zn85MNwkv9JqmfVV6M2ez6NGxJpKZxaN9fPdPASEyceeBlrErq-UaKiYaBV0fSHbrql4Vj4JnmbrkoY/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img data-original-height="986" data-original-width="1152" height="549" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ5Tn8O9YTFwfwOPpDL5ObwLN7ayFu1DDT_z78sA6_P-n5JDuw8DivMdi4FCxT9zn85MNwkv9JqmfVV6M2ez6NGxJpKZxaN9fPdPASEyceeBlrErq-UaKiYaBV0fSHbrql4Vj4JnmbrkoY/w640-h549/IMG_8747.JPG" width="640" /></a></span></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">We also took some comfort in remembering the two encounters between Cody and Nola. He was the one dog she ever met, and no surprise, Cody was great with her. He let her get close and sniff, and he didn’t even mind when she stalked the floor by my mom, looking for scraps of food. Nola had never met any other animals, and very few people, but she met Cody, the best the world had to offer. </span></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #222222;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #222222;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfIhki8-17oLMaVaYxVqDV44CGPHKNL8KjRiBeFNoFiMnTzVmtGDJrL2KJdkXrZOOx4SED6tqLqBNPo0igWyF9JU-6WbC1uegWVEJc7cfgVWJzhb6m35TsSN50f43QO4k5H3aPJPd-U3HO/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfIhki8-17oLMaVaYxVqDV44CGPHKNL8KjRiBeFNoFiMnTzVmtGDJrL2KJdkXrZOOx4SED6tqLqBNPo0igWyF9JU-6WbC1uegWVEJc7cfgVWJzhb6m35TsSN50f43QO4k5H3aPJPd-U3HO/w640-h480/IMG_5142.jpg" width="640" /></a><span style="font-size: small;"><b>One of my favorite pics. Their first meeting, during our Christmas celebration at our new house. </b></span></span></div><span style="color: #222222;"><br /></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">It’s hard to believe that Cody and Nola are both gone. I don’t believe in an afterlife so I won't say, “they’re playing together in Heaven now,” or something like that. I have nothing against people who say or believe that. I wish I could believe it! It’s just not how I view the world, or how I envision death. But Cody and Nola will always be connected in my memories, and even though it is heartbreaking that they are only memories now, I’m happy they are together in my mind and in my heart. </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">Cody also met our new kitties, Zoli and Bijoux. I'd like to think there was</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"> some kind of </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">transference of energy from Nola to Cody to them. Like, she met him, then he met them, and there was a</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">connection established through Cody, as if he was a conduit of life that let her spirit continue on in them. I'd like to think that. That's my vision of the afterlife.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Cody also met our</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"> dragon, Puff! And guess what? He was great with him, and the kitties, too. Because Cody was great with everybody, and everything. Old people, kids, other animals. He was just a real good boy.</span></div></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD3Bg4deM9CBSXpzvbaMI2fk0148SW5xHNoE3PUYg_xd5n1Y8_uQADMl4RQulUNAWg9jKFX8ouzrvVyJXjH4wKA6GZCh98N5op1HhTy9sIvJ85WGlZ7PrNVuvVMIMgF3s4yQWHoteRi6LG/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img data-original-height="2016" data-original-width="1512" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD3Bg4deM9CBSXpzvbaMI2fk0148SW5xHNoE3PUYg_xd5n1Y8_uQADMl4RQulUNAWg9jKFX8ouzrvVyJXjH4wKA6GZCh98N5op1HhTy9sIvJ85WGlZ7PrNVuvVMIMgF3s4yQWHoteRi6LG/w480-h640/IMG_9043.jpg" width="480" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimDX44ZoUVd0Srwif69evd3TBzxmf5d61PEpARNe3Q1H41o_mX_OXAKhKqllwcfXxkPUl3Bom96jMKwpVX7PsLlheacsQu5HwjwekMnbCI2JscO1xNYacSx9MBm77QDh6UNairBRdWLqnu/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img data-original-height="2016" data-original-width="1512" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimDX44ZoUVd0Srwif69evd3TBzxmf5d61PEpARNe3Q1H41o_mX_OXAKhKqllwcfXxkPUl3Bom96jMKwpVX7PsLlheacsQu5HwjwekMnbCI2JscO1xNYacSx9MBm77QDh6UNairBRdWLqnu/w480-h640/IMG_9049.jpg" width="480" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">Miss you buddy.</span></div></div><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img data-original-height="483" data-original-width="468" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9I9TZfUhHXBafzvzH2CvQ0sZFtzt2MJBrNF5FK9f6Mz29_Qsw8nzukBi6NVZY1FC7lGpUBSOoN9X-DHEUNXToBab2v83z_OvagDAxpweiDasY-ei7stMdWRDk3G2orO8FwXKI3GvtqePn/w621-h640/IMG_9025+%25282%2529.JPG" width="621" /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>What a beautiful boy.</b> </span></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><i style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">I Love You All...Class Dismissed. </i></p></div>Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-64594535936786198852021-04-29T14:26:00.001-04:002021-04-29T14:26:19.023-04:00Aeris & Nola and the Cruel Tragedy of FIP<span style="font-family: inherit;">Aeris is a short film I recently watched from 2018. It is excellent...and it broke me. </span><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />Less than 3 months ago, our precious kitten Nola passed away. My girlfriend and I were devastated. We still are. Our sweet Nola succumbed to Feline Infectious Peritonitis (FIP) a rare, fatal disease with no cure that almost exclusively affects kittens. It’s actually caused by a feline coronavirus. Yeah. Fucking coronavirus. I read a lot about the disease after her diagnosis, and continued to read about it after her death. It was so cruel it didn’t seem real. This disease we had never heard of, which affects less than 1 in 5000 cats, stole our baby’s life.<br /><br />At some point in my reading, I learned of a short film about a young couple and their kitten with FIP. As I read the description of the film, I knew it would be heartbreaking to watch. I also knew I had to watch it. I told my girlfriend about it, and after putting it off for a while, we watched it the other day.<br /><br />I was right. It was heartbreaking. But I was also right that we needed to watch it, and I’m glad we did.<br /><br />A young man buys a kitten from a small pet store. “The runt of the litter,” the sketchy lady who owns the store tells him. He buys it as a gift for his girlfriend, who is allergic to cats. She is upset when she comes home and sees the kitten. He assures her it is hypoallergenic. Soon, she falls in love with the kitten. They both do. They name it Aeris. It’s a cute white cat with some grey marks. It’s lovable and playful, but doesn’t eat much. Then it has some accidents on the bed. They take it to the vet. The vet feels its belly and becomes concerned. She draws fluid from its belly. The fluid is yellow. The vet says she is worried that the kitten has FIP. She says the only treatment is euthanasia.<br /><br />They can’t believe it. How could this be? She must be wrong. But the cat is definitely sick. The guy goes to the pet store and yells at the owner, who swears she’d never sell a sick kitten. They take the kitten to another vet, who tells them the first vet could’ve made a mistake. Maybe she drew fluid from its bladder and not its stomach. The fluid was probably just urine, he tells them. The cat seems happy, so everything’s probably fine. They are reassured. Hopeful.<br /><br />But the kitten is still not eating. It’s lethargic. The young woman learns about some homeopathic treatment and tries it out. The kitten seems to respond positively.<br /><br />But not for long. One morning the guy wakes up to hear the kitten meowing oddly. He finds it under the bed having a seizure. They freak out and rush to the vet, the one who said the cat was fine. He realizes the cat is most definitely not fine. Its organs are shutting down. It likely has FIP. The only option...euthanasia. They put their kitten down.<br /><br />It’s a simple yet heartbreaking story, and although I cried through the whole thing, I also found it somewhat comforting. Besides a few different details, it basically depicted the exact experience that my girlfriend and I went through. We brought our kitten to the vet, thinking a little medicine or something would be all it needed. Our vet told us it was possible she had FIP, and that euthanasia might be the only option. We had never heard of FIP, and certainly never imagined losing our kitten before it turned a year old. She couldn’t have a fatal disease with no cure. Impossible.<br /><br />The main difference between our stories is that in the movie, the kitten is sick from the first day, and it died 12 days after they got it. We had Nola for 9 months, and she was healthy for the vast majority of that time. One of the reasons FIP is so odious is that it can be in the system for months or even a couple years without any signs before turning fatal. I’m so thankful for that time, but that is partly why her illness was such a shock to us. She seemed fine for so long, and all of a sudden…she wasn’t. All because of a virus that she got months earlier, before we even met her.<br /><br />Another big difference is that Aeris had fluid in her belly. Nola had fluid in her lungs. There are two types of FIP, wet or dry, both fatal. But they are more like two ends of the spectrum, because in some cases, a cat might have symptoms of both. The belly is more noticeable and often causes kittens to lose control of their bodily functions. The fluid in the chest obviously affects the breathing. But both types build up slowly, then reach a tipping point and get progressively worse very quickly. The symptoms start off vague, like eating and playing less, then become much more severe. It’s almost a good thing that the symptoms are not noticeable early on because early detection would not help treat it. So you would know the kitten is terminally ill for a longer period of time without being able to do anything about it. Looking back, we appreciate that we were blissfully ignorant of what was about to happen. She may have been sick for a month or more, but besides the last 10 days or so, she seemed like the healthiest, happiest cat in the world.<br /><br />So it was a shock to us, and everything felt so surreal. I couldn’t even process what the vet told me when she mentioned “fatal disease” and “euthanasia.” For the rest of the night after that first vet visit, I was in a fog of disbelief and anger and fear.<br /><br />Then, the next day, just like the couple in the movie, we had hope that our girl was going to be okay. At that point, it was still possible she had some other infection. Maybe it was just me trying to convince myself, but I was feeling positive. In the movie, they try homeopathic medicine to get the kitten to eat. We gave her the medicine from the vet to boost her appetite and treat her fever. We tried all different types of food and treats. She was lethargic and didn’t eat much, but there was no way she could be terminally ill. Something told me she would be fine.<br /><br />After a few days, when she didn’t get any better and still didn’t eat, we looked into an experimental treatment for FIP. Our vet told us that this treatment has been showing “some promise” in curing FIP. But it is not FDA regulated or permitted for use by vets, and it’s only available on the black market. So there’s no way of knowing whether you’re getting what it claims to be or some knockoff. Plus, even if it is the real thing, it still has a very low success rate. Like, basically negligible. I researched it and even reached out to a group on Facebook. In my brief conversation with a representative of the group, it didn’t feel like they would be much help. They asked a bunch of questions and didn’t even mention the treatment. It felt more like a support group than a realistic solution. And our baby was starting to rapidly decline. There was no more hope.<br /><br />When the girl uses the homeopathic medicine in the movie, it seems to have some positive effects. A part of me thought the kitten was going to make it, and that made me upset. I felt bad for being upset, but I couldn’t help it. For a moment, I thought this treatment would work, and the movie would turn into a commercial for this black market medicine. I got legitimately angry and worried. I felt like I was rooting for the kitten to die.<br /><br />Grief is a fucked up thing, man.<br /><br />Obviously, in real life I would want any cat to survive. But I couldn’t stand the thought of this fictional kitten surviving the same disease that killed our Nola.<br /><br />Regardless, the medicine did not help Aeris. I was relieved, then immediately overcome with sadness. Now I desperately wanted this kitten to survive.<br /><br />Seriously, grief is fucked up.<br /><br />One thing we didn’t experience was the seizure. I really felt the characters’ heartache and concern and anxiety. In her final days, Nola was breathing hard, not eating, and clearly uncomfortable. We were so worried she would suffer a painful death, or something like a seizure. It was unbearable to even contemplate. Thankfully, when we brought her to the vet that final time and helped her transition, she seemed to be at peace. And unlike the couple in the movie, we had a couple days with her to say goodbye before we let her go. In some ways, I feel that made it harder; we got the extra time with her, but we knew her fate was sealed. Her imminent death was hanging over us. I’m still glad we got that extra time, though. It sucks either way, I suppose. Fuck FIP.<br /><br />It was a traumatic experience and we’re still struggling with it. She was our baby, and we poured ourselves into loving and caring for her. And we felt so alone in dealing with this. We felt like the only people who had ever gone through it. So it was slightly reassuring to know that this is something that happens, and it happens to undeserving people and animals. It was not a bad dream. It was not a punishment. It was not a result of something we did wrong. It was simply a horrible disease that she most likely contracted from other kittens in the foster home that rescued her. Since we had never heard of FIP…and it’s so rare…and Nola was just a kitten…and she seemed so healthy throughout her life…it was impossible to accept. When we had to put her down, it was so hard to believe it was actually happening. But it did happen. As it happens to hundreds of other kittens and kitten parents.<br /><br />It’s still fucking horrible, though. <br /><br />We cremated Nola with her favorite blanket. Her ashes sit on our fireplace mantle in a small urn with one of my favorite pictures of her looking out at us. In the film, they bury Aeris at the girl’s parents’ farm. In the final scene, they are at the grave, crying and reminiscing. As the girl walks back towards the house, she sees a cat on the porch. A faint smile crosses her face. The movie ends.<br /><br />Soon, we will pick up our new kitten. We are heartbroken, and we will always miss Nola. She will always be a part of us. It has been hard to even think about getting a new cat. We just want our Nola. But that’s not possible. We can’t go back. Time marches forward. Life goes on. Etc. etc. Moving forward is the only option, so we need to start a new journey with a new pet. We got a bearded dragon a month ago because we needed something to love and focus our attention on, but we weren’t ready for a cat. Puff has been great, and he’s helped us heal. Now, we are ready to love another kitten.<br /><br />Well, not “read” exactly. But willing. It still hurts to think that the only reason we are getting this kitten is that we lost our baby. Na’s presence is still present, in our home and our hearts. It always will be, and we will always cherish her memory, but we can’t let the pain of her loss prevent us from being happy and loving another pet. To honor Nola and our experience with her, we are going to put that same amount of love and energy into caring for another kitten, another innocent little creature who needs us. Nola was so unique and amazing and nothing can replace her, but she showed us how much we love caring for a pet, and we want that again. We wish it was her, but it can’t be. So we have to believe that another kitten will bring a new, different-yet-equal love to our lives. This love doesn’t exist yet, so it’s hard to imagine. But our love for Nola didn’t exist before we got her, and eventually, it turned into a love that we couldn’t imagine life without.<br /><br />It’s awful that this movie even had to exist, but I’m glad it does because I know that we are not alone in losing our beautiful baby to this awful disease. And after seeing what could have happened, I know that we did the right thing in letting her go before the pain really set in. We had to protect her, and we couldn’t bear her suffering any more.<br /><br />I appreciate the filmmakers sharing their story. The film is based on the experience that the young man and woman in the film actually went through. As the guy said in an interview, despite her brief time with them Aeris quite literally changed their lives. He says that Aeris taught them how to love. My girlfriend and I feel similar about Nola. We had a deep love for each other before her, but she took that love to another level and showed us things about ourselves and each other that we would have never known otherwise. Her life, and her death, brought us closer together. It’s hard to explain what it was like going through this, but this film captures it well, and I’m grateful for that.<br /><br />I also appreciate the vets who are upfront and honest, as difficult as that may be. I understand the urge to offer comfort and hope, but as pet owners, we deserve and need honesty more than anything. Don’t give me false hope, and don’t put an animal through pain and anguish just to make the owners feel better for a few days. As Kurt Vonnegut says, there are fates worse than death. As hard as it is to accept, sometimes death is a necessary release. We hated to let Nola go, but we are comforted by the fact that we helped to release her from her pain and transition to an eternal sleep, where she can rest peacefully in the sunbeams.<br /><br />RIP Nola. RIP Aeris.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>I Love You All...Class Dismissed. </i></span></div>Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-17777475975730209972021-02-27T18:16:00.020-05:002021-03-01T21:39:13.954-05:00Requiem for Nola<div class="separator"><p style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"> <img alt="" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_Y5TfZSZDnNRO_oRkYcL5P5pCUXCmH7EIJHfCrK4v70GvRi9gJia_zZO3ogTLkmiJoC1lwE2XiPNVBj-YI5HrNmzPwtIQ9GlTowul4KPIY23_NYQDvN4SXofk80GbhfFteyrEJAfiMnO0/w640-h640/LGZQ5790.JPG" style="text-align: center;" width="640" /></span></p></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">You came into our lives<o:p></o:p></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">At a time of great chaos </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">And pain<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">And brought us great peace </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">And joy.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">Rescued from a life astray</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Placed into my hands</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">"Here is your kitten"<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><span style="line-height: 17.12px;">And there you were</span><span> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">Ours.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">Instantly.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Love at first purr.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">The sweetest thing.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Pure.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Innocent. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;"><span>Beautiful. </span><o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD3GAsuGC_4jClgpmxu3qYGctrblY7Xy611qe8_nK_kNh4gC5Uckr_nGkSC1LPDxE_qCy7QFzPCWPRrS6DmvdxWLqUWjXxfGgAjU9fvLrj69urA62D8YEhBMDyxUqOfOh-YmBIv7tOpa8s/s2048/IMG_7131.HEIC"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD3GAsuGC_4jClgpmxu3qYGctrblY7Xy611qe8_nK_kNh4gC5Uckr_nGkSC1LPDxE_qCy7QFzPCWPRrS6DmvdxWLqUWjXxfGgAjU9fvLrj69urA62D8YEhBMDyxUqOfOh-YmBIv7tOpa8s/w640-h480/IMG_7131.HEIC" width="640" /></span></a></div><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">Your mere presence </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Brought a level of comfort<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">And connectedness<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">We didn’t know existed.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Your first night with us<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">The first night of our new lives<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">You slept </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Curled on my chest.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Never would I have guessed<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Less than a year later<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">You’d give your last breath<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Curled on my chest.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">For 9 months<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Like a child<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Growing inside a womb<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">You thrived and grew<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Inside our bubble</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Inside our hearts</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Into more than a pet<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">A companion<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Imbued with the best of us<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">A living symbol<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">An embodiment<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Of our love.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">A fatal virus took you from us</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">A<span>s a fatal virus takes s</span></span><span style="font-size: medium;">o much</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">From us all.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">A cruel irony.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">A cruel reminder<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Of the temporary<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Ephemeral</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 17.12px;">Fleeting nature</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><span><span>O</span></span><span>f existence.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;"><span>Of beauty.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijfuo3xR08jKaqH3QcADKhxXSGBpMSsbtgUbQ8oeI2DyHtzDIjQKRblMG8KXMx_0xonleAPyoS3uGyu3YaSQaVBMNe8o1egvOd1TqxfnFyrseELrcw80rzNw84whd_5j3NPEXg-eU3_YL9/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijfuo3xR08jKaqH3QcADKhxXSGBpMSsbtgUbQ8oeI2DyHtzDIjQKRblMG8KXMx_0xonleAPyoS3uGyu3YaSQaVBMNe8o1egvOd1TqxfnFyrseELrcw80rzNw84whd_5j3NPEXg-eU3_YL9/w480-h640/IMG_E8260.JPG" width="480" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /><span>I hope we brought you</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">The comfort and peace </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">In death</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">That you brought us </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">In life.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">I hope that in your tragically short life<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">We gave you the joy<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">The complete sense of contentment<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">And sanctuary</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">That you gave us.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEuWuWzbCse2eOyEwIFRwp0ZVauAvBtjaulE0g-40ud0AS35PW6Ki3o52isb-Z-bA9qxN15pWrxdYetwK2YtnGM-5VFTVhdzpqOwPEFdU-guJxMXZqTbEw64QgkicfwBH5xIF0yb7NVr1C/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1160" data-original-width="1544" height="482" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEuWuWzbCse2eOyEwIFRwp0ZVauAvBtjaulE0g-40ud0AS35PW6Ki3o52isb-Z-bA9qxN15pWrxdYetwK2YtnGM-5VFTVhdzpqOwPEFdU-guJxMXZqTbEw64QgkicfwBH5xIF0yb7NVr1C/w640-h482/IMG_6717.jpg" width="640" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;"><br /><span>It just doesnt make sense.</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">I dont want your life</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">To be some lesson</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">I just want to hold you<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Bury my face in your soft</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Warm fur<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">And feel the harsh</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Cold world </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Fade away.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">I want to watch you<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Stretch your black-striped legs<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">With your snow white paws<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Over Amy’s shoulder.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">I still feel you when I wake up<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Snuggled against my thigh.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">But you’re just a dream now<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Slipping away<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">As I reach for your soft fur.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1512" data-original-width="2016" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXWv3qMA-Rd-5DNEaUZjhbpZzZDrfuQKGbNKk04EIp2of0Hfh5PBE5aZZ0BaiIHg2xgcXtBjHeANkh9SIZ_ImO1rqXo5wpdpKG_wNwS-KfL5qfUBgDGMcRjM0niSwSBXHGGeiAdka0D1mo/w640-h480/IMG_2773.jpg" width="640" /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Were you ever really here?<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Did something so good<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">So pure<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">So innocent<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">So beautiful<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Really exist in this world?<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Can a pet mean so much</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">And have such an impact</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">In such a short time?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Maybe your life </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Was always </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Just </span><span style="font-size: medium;">a dream</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">And I just</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Don’t want to </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Wake up.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhwrw8OlAOq3fmRbD8YXZIwu4nL8LOkv-P8PIKX5nycZl3TiY0X719aulZEtPCpY15fVv3JZsj6oJKbnz-5-nzdOcNfoCmdIiOjkWiiEPF-El0XdpWxQr0yZrszK0XQAUpWjkWdBasYVmH/s2048/IMG_6798.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="2048" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhwrw8OlAOq3fmRbD8YXZIwu4nL8LOkv-P8PIKX5nycZl3TiY0X719aulZEtPCpY15fVv3JZsj6oJKbnz-5-nzdOcNfoCmdIiOjkWiiEPF-El0XdpWxQr0yZrszK0XQAUpWjkWdBasYVmH/w640-h640/IMG_6798.jpg" width="640" /></a></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">At a time of great loss<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">A time of great distance<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><span style="line-height: 17.12px;">You</span><span> brought us closer together</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">You filled a void</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">You helped us get by</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">In a year </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">When so many </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">Did not.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">You made our new house a home<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">And made our lives whole.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">My little buddy.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVMn_OV7Q9yfUx8Ggudwu2WhjI8LP6DRiwJKyzY8CaCNdMAFQqu25a-vLvrSNu1hBMq_uenbjMrrCC5wOxXpiHlxvc2m0_mfObl0U8V-xbcHdKmx9WXxTayiKEsKJdkGPIeaoDa1jTTj3e/s2048/IMG_6915.HEIC" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVMn_OV7Q9yfUx8Ggudwu2WhjI8LP6DRiwJKyzY8CaCNdMAFQqu25a-vLvrSNu1hBMq_uenbjMrrCC5wOxXpiHlxvc2m0_mfObl0U8V-xbcHdKmx9WXxTayiKEsKJdkGPIeaoDa1jTTj3e/w480-h640/IMG_6915.HEIC" width="480" /></span></a></div><p></p></div><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">Her little girl.</span><div><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEharLj0MkSN_v1EjT84I4LSBk84UT8l91NebQq6dhcN_YCrYcMZSr93mIk2D9QhtMMzStYG2mudOPiyELaNJTYyU2M6dnXQdQ-NQHs0L1fFXI_UFd8CbxLha1QdaeBw23RPg2SJQAIfgR5Y/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="580" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEharLj0MkSN_v1EjT84I4LSBk84UT8l91NebQq6dhcN_YCrYcMZSr93mIk2D9QhtMMzStYG2mudOPiyELaNJTYyU2M6dnXQdQ-NQHs0L1fFXI_UFd8CbxLha1QdaeBw23RPg2SJQAIfgR5Y/w483-h640/IMG_6569.png" width="483" /></a></div></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Our baby. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1UB2yR3xLjprR8u7-D2nHKJSNtrXY0ZvGxvd6U5oXr6yOSGig5iGTnLX5losYBpVDSOFVWpDfuDH_sf3Y7FLaUvx3L5g8G_X-7wCCIavJmmayxSaEd7U-hcn2a5_SFUGlLYYY2gwa-B5U/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2037" data-original-width="1542" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1UB2yR3xLjprR8u7-D2nHKJSNtrXY0ZvGxvd6U5oXr6yOSGig5iGTnLX5losYBpVDSOFVWpDfuDH_sf3Y7FLaUvx3L5g8G_X-7wCCIavJmmayxSaEd7U-hcn2a5_SFUGlLYYY2gwa-B5U/w485-h640/IMG_2926%2528Edited%2529.jpg" width="485" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /><span>Sweet Nola.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">You shined like the sunbeams</span></span></div><div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">That you always found</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">That always found you</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Because light attracts light</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">And your light was the brightest.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">In its absence </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">A profound darkness.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">The void that you filled</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">Has returned</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">Grown deeper</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">And left us broken</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">Yet somehow </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">More together </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">Than ever</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><span><span>Because w</span><span>e</span></span> experienced</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">Your life</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">Your light</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">Together</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">As one.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">Your beautiful spirit lives on </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">In us<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">More than a memory<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">A fiber of our being.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">You were our heart</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">And in our hearts<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; line-height: 17.12px;">You will always remain<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><span style="line-height: 17.12px;">Our sweet Nola.</span><span> </span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9VHzj-FpE_JeSxnIXKi0NoAIT3oe9-SJWoe6XIx_Nxb9uhwsB7Fvj_VcUm7EKqJrVgkO3GLbgaKqkKg3rXT4qDvErZTsDK0me_2xMj3AtJ0ckhmOhurHi8IVmcehbX69xRrJAwkoULgAG/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="1126" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9VHzj-FpE_JeSxnIXKi0NoAIT3oe9-SJWoe6XIx_Nxb9uhwsB7Fvj_VcUm7EKqJrVgkO3GLbgaKqkKg3rXT4qDvErZTsDK0me_2xMj3AtJ0ckhmOhurHi8IVmcehbX69xRrJAwkoULgAG/w480-h640/IMG_6578.JPG" width="480" /></span></a></div><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">-</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">I Love You All...Class Dismissed.</span></i></p></div></div>Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-37589400793357798612020-12-30T00:11:00.005-05:002020-12-30T00:24:59.021-05:0013 Things I Love About Die Hard<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq8plpBigkU_pHGbqDwbRZH2bckgSi29eu2uX3PJ4mXB0C12i8MkZVPiZuTlgQtmhrF6wUq2zizwogbGPCzW_GiIfGxC8WfUndJ5CNzqOTXHd0JizVLdlivkhCyH8W-AEFSSNYH3Z_46cU/s556/5697dcdfc08a809b088b98f9.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="417" data-original-width="556" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq8plpBigkU_pHGbqDwbRZH2bckgSi29eu2uX3PJ4mXB0C12i8MkZVPiZuTlgQtmhrF6wUq2zizwogbGPCzW_GiIfGxC8WfUndJ5CNzqOTXHd0JizVLdlivkhCyH8W-AEFSSNYH3Z_46cU/s320/5697dcdfc08a809b088b98f9.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #1d2228;"><b>1. Action movie Revival and Revolution. </b>It’s not hyperbole to say this movie changed action movies forever. The 80s saw giant musclebound invincible mega stars indiscriminately killing off nameless bad guys in one ridiculous plot after another. And then, after this came out, we saw endless variations of the Die Hard format. “Die Hard on a ____” was an entire genre. A flawed, underdog hero overcomes insurmountable odds to defeat a brilliant villain in an isolated environment. Die Hard on a ship. </span><span style="color: #1d2228;"> </span><span style="color: #1d2228;">Die Hard on a bus. Die Hard on a mountain. They’re still using the formula. In 2011, The Raid: Redemption literally did Die Hard in a high rise building. If you’ll notice, that’s just Die Hard! But it was in Indonesia, and it was awesome, too!</span></span></p><p></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;">Ironically, after Die Hard 2: Die Harder (great name) the Die Hard series moved away from its own formula. Die Hard With a Vengeance (3) is really good, and it brings back a Gruber, but the isolated environment…is New York City. Not really the same. We don’t talk about 4 and 5.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;">Many of the Die Hard imitators were good (Under Siege, Speed, Cliffhanger…all great!) because the format was so brilliant, but nothing really reached the level of the originator. Its greatness didn’t stop at the plot, it had all of the other factors that make a classic, too.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;">The action starts 10 minutes in and never lets up, and that’s a big reason it’s so much fun. But the character development is what differentiates this from the imitators, and in those first ten minutes, every moment and every line works to set up the rest of the movie perfectly, so that all of the action becomes meaningful and resonates on a human level. There’s no personal connection to Schwarzenegger in Commando or Predator, he’s barely human! Rocky started as an average guy, but by the 4<sup>th</sup> one, he was a cartoon superhero. But John McClane is an everyman, an ordinary, hard working American, and every character in the film feels real. The scene where McClane and Takagi walk in on Ellis doing coke and then Holly comes in (“show him the watch!”) tells us so much about all those characters and the situation, and even foreshadows the finale (“I’m sure I’ll see it later”). That level of cohesion and depth of meaning between character and action is rare, and its why Die Hard remains the pinnacle of action cinema.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #1d2228;">And I don’t know if it was the first movie I learned about c-4 explosives, but I do know that c-4 explosives were in every action movie after this. When I was 10 years old, I was sure I would die from a c-4 plastique explosion. What I’m saying is, Hollywood misled me about the preponderance of c-4 explosives.</span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="color: #1d2228; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;"><b>2. Cop culture. </b><a href="https://spovenweedlepresents.blogspot.com/2014/12/a-troubling-new-perspective-on-greatest.html">The movie is not without its flaws,</a> but they’re more a reflection of societal flaws than flaws with the movie itself. Die Hard explains a lot about how Americans view police, and while there is a lot of truth to its portrayal of cops and policing, it also served to reinforce very problematic views. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;">The heroes of the movie are an NYPD officer and an LAPD officer. This is hardly the first or only movie with a cop as protagonist; in fact, there is an overwhelming amount of movies and shows featuring hero cops. Positive police propaganda in entertainment has helped produce a culture of hero worship towards law enforcement. The police are also on the receiving end of McClane’s ridicule, so that provides a nice balance at least. Unfortunately, the character of McClane promotes the idea of the super-effective “loose cannon”: the tough talking, rule bending cop who defies bureaucracy to get the job done when nobody else can. Rules and regulations are for chumps, the bosses and lawmakers don’t know what they’re doing, and if we just let good cops do what they gotta do, everything will work out!<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;">There are so many police tropes in this movie. There’s the contempt for the bosses, the media, and especially for federal agents, who have jurisdiction over everybody and think they are so high and mighty, but really don’t have a clue. None of these things take away from the movie though, because it never feels generic or formulaic, everything feels true to life. A testament to the writing. The rapport of Special Agents Johnson and Johnson is hilarious. There’s also a sly critique of the Vietnam War. The older agent mentions Saigon when they are flying in the helicopter, and moments later, they get blown up because they got into a situation they didn’t really understand. Before they went in, one mentions that 25% of the civilians might die. The other responds, “I’m ok with that.” A look into the minds of the Deep State. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;">And then of course, there’s Sergeant Al Powell. He’s a lovable cop who is smarter than his boss and wants to do the right thing. He’s a kindhearted, gentle soul who…wait, he killed a little kid? What the fuck, Al? Staying true to life, he was never arrested, or fired, or even suspended. But hey, he’s been punished severely, ok? He has to work at a desk! The horror! And he’s really torn up about what he did. The guy can’t even bring himself to shoot anyone else! If he can’t kill people, is he even a cop? He also kinda blames the kid for being out at night. Instead of feeling any sympathy for the kid or the kid’s family, we are asked—forced—to sympathize with this guy. The real tragedy is that a good cop is being unfairly punished!<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;">In the end, when he shoots down the massive Austrian, it’s a powerful moment not only because he saved the day, but because he was able to shoot his gun again. He’s back baby! Fuck you, kid! That is Al’s character arc. He was sad after killing an innocent kid, he couldn’t do his job correctly (which obviously entails frequently firing a gun) but his friendship with another cop allowed him to kill again. Sweet. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;">Ultimately, the movie’s view of Powell reflects how a lot of people view killer cops. It was an accident. He didn’t mean it. He’s a really good guy underneath it all, and he has a tough job. Can’t we forgive and forget? Well, yes, obviously. That’s exactly what happens, every time. The cop avoids any real accountability, we don’t ever think about the victim again, and the cycle continues. Sometimes I wish this movie wasn’t so damn good because that’s pretty fucked up!<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;"><b>3. Christmas theme. </b>The big debate…that actually doesn’t matter one bit. That’s why it’s so fun! Honestly, who cares if it’s a “Christmas movie”? Watch whatever the hell you want, whenever you want. I call this a Christmas movie because I love Christmas, I love Die Hard, and I love watching Die Hard around Christmas. It’s simple. Also, Christmas is prevalent in the background of the film, it is a major part of the plot, and ultimately, the movie is about a husband and wife rekindling the fire of their marriage during the holiday season. It hits all the notes.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;">McClane is traveling to LA because he wants to be with his wife and kids on Christmas. He meets his wife at her office’s Christmas party. There are Christmas decorations everywhere, there’s a Santa suit in a pivotal scene, Christmas music plays throughout (the very first song of the movie is “Christmas in Hollis”) and of course, there’s a bearded Prussian man exclaiming, “Ho…Ho…Ho.” After the guy opens the safe, he exclaims, “Merry Christmas”. (The safecracker has a lot of great lines, especially when he narrates the security video of the police trying to get in the building.)<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;">To end the movie, John says, “Merry Christmas, Argyle” as Let it Snow plays over the credits and the reunited couple happily kiss as they return home to their family. At every crucial juncture of the movie, Christmas is either directly mentioned or referenced in the background. That’s more than just a movie that takes place around Christmas, that is a full-fledged Christmas movie. Fa la la la la, motherfucker. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;"><b>4. Bromance/Romance. </b>This is a real MAN movie, a modern day Western, but deep down…it is overflowing with romance. As I already stated, McClane’s entire motivation is to get back with his wife, and in the end, he drives off with his wife, happy. The sun rises over their limo as they kiss. Romantic as hell.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;">He has finally realized what is most important in the world, but he is only able to do so after forging a strong relationship with another guy. McClane opens up to Al about himself and his marriage, which brings them closer, and allows John to reflect on his failures as a husband. They also share the most powerful moment of unbridled bromance ever captured on film.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;">John and Al have great lines and chemistry every time they talk, but they are still essentially strangers. They have never really met. Their discussions are like Zoom calls; they can be very meaningful exchanges, but it’s just not the same as seeing your friends in person. Nothing can replace a Bro Hug. Then, when the evil has finally been defeated, and John knows that Holly is safe…they finally meet. The joy and the MAN love is palpable. I get goose bumps just thinking about it. The way they catch each other’s eyes from across the parking lot, and they just know. The head nods. The smiles. The relieved, almost delirious, laughter. The hug. It’s a beautiful thing. I’m not crying. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="color: #1d2228;">5. It’s m</span>y Dad’s favorite movie.</b> One of them at least. This is a highly personal reason for loving this movie, but it’s also connected to reason #4.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Most guys enjoy action movies, so it’s no surprise we both love the movie. Christmas is a big holiday for our family, and since this is clearly a Christmas movie, we tend to talk about it every year. So it reinforces our bond even more than Christmas itself does. We discussed it the other day, actually. I mentioned that Al Powell isn’t the great guy everyone thinks he is. He killed a kid! My dad said, “well, true…but maybe the kid deserved it? What was he doing out at night?” So if you ever wonder where I get my sense of humor, there you go.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Christmas is my mom’s favorite holiday, but she always loved It’s a Wonderful Life. I hate that movie. So while we share the love for Christmas and Santa and decorations and Christmas carols and turkey and each other, we don’t really connect on that one. To be fair, she loves Die Hard, too. Just not like my Dad and I.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">A love between father and son, and males in general, is often unspoken. Few words are needed to express our feelings. So, when guys see Al and John meet at the end of the movie, and their love for each other is so deep it doesn’t need to be verbally expressed, we feel that in our souls. Women, I don’t know if you can relate, but it’s probably something like when you and your friends sync menstrual cycles. I’m guessing here. Sorry.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My father and I love each other, and we love this movie, a movie that exalts the beauty and values of male bonding, which reinforces our bond even more. Thank you, John McTiernan. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My dad’s love for the movie also reinforces my view of him as John McClane. McClane isn’t a great father figure per se, so it’s not a direct comparison, but he is a symbol of masculinity that allows for faults, and even a modicum of sensitivity. He’s a flawed man, but he’s trying his best to do right. He is a modern day hero. He is my Dad. With more guns, and less hair. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;"><b>6. John McLane.</b> The name is synonymous with badass, and its often used as a sarcastic remark directed at someone acting overly tough. “Oh, look at John McClane, over here.” “Relax, John McClane.” I think it took the place of Dirty Harry in that regard. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;">It seems so obvious that this movie and this character were gonna be a huge hit, but that was not the case when it came out. Bruce Willis was a tv star, not a movie star, and at the time, there was a stigma against tv stars. If a movie star showed up in a tv show, his career was clearly going downhill, and it was rare for a tv star to make the direct jump to starring in movies. Willis was also far from the typical action star at the time. In 1988, the other top action movies featured Schwarzenegger, Stallone, Jean Claude Van Damme, and Steven Seagal. Seagal and Van Damme were “martial artists”, Schwarzenegger and Stallone were hulking, muscular killing machines. Those two actually turned down the role of McClane (The Simpson’s brilliantly depicted what it would have looked like if Arnold took the role with their “McBain” parody). Ironically, Stallone went on to later star in Die Hard on a Mountain (Cliffhanger).<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;">So this slender, balding wiseass from tv was not predestined to be one of the biggest action stars on the planet. The character was also much different than the typical action hero. He was basically a blue collar worker, an average guy with an average build going through relationship problems, a noble but flawed hero who didn’t mow down all the bad guys at once; instead he stalked, cornered, and used his wits to take them down. And his guns and fists, sure, but in a way that made us feel we could do it, too. He got beat up almost as much as he beat them up. That is relatable. All this shit kept working against him, and he had to adapt and figure it out, instead of everything just working out for him,<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #1d2228;">Despite the image of the loose cannon hero cop which the movie helped solidify, it’s a great character. He gets easily frustrated at his wife, at the other cops, and even at the operator for not taking him seriously. “No fuckin shit lady does it sound like I’m ordering a pizza?!” He cracks solid jokes, not corny one-liners. Most of the time, the lines build off something else, they are far from Arnold quotes, just puns for the sake of puns. When he says, “yippee kay yay motherfucker,” it isn’t some random catchphrase he spouted off. It was a direct response to Hans calling him a cowboy, and it’s a phrase made popular by Roy Rogers, who McClane says he is partial to over John Wayne. It’s a great line on its own, and I’ve used it randomly many times, but there is important context that deepens the meaning and impact of the quote. That’s how this whole movie works; every part is great, and every part contributes to a whole, which is even greater.</span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="color: #1d2228; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;"><b>7. Hans Gruber. </b>Alan Rickman was an unknown actor, so the likelihood that this would be an iconic performance was smaller than the chances that Bruce Willis would become a movie star. Yet, in his first movie role, he became the best action movie villain of all time. The character. The performance. Every moment is his best moment. When he walks in and calmly tells the crowd to quiet down after his men shot the place up. When he tells Takagi it would be a shame to ruin his nice suit. The way he smirks when he says, “who said we were terrorists?” His accent when he pretends to be American. The way he says yippee ki yay madafucker. Even his death scene is perfect. “Happy trails, Hans.” Happy trails, indeed, Mr. Rickman.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;"><b>8. Argyle. </b>One of the greatest names in cinematic history. I’ve never seen or met an Argyle, but I know for certain that this man is an Argyle. He’s a comic relief sidekick that adds another level of depth to the story and to the character of John McClane. He is the first one to get John to open up about his marriage, ribbing him about his separation. He is also one of the earliest examples of the cool young black guy who gives the old conservative white guy street cred (he introduces McClane to Run DMC; how had he never heard Christmas in Hollis? He lives in New York!). Once Argyle finally realizes what’s going on in the building, he even takes out a bad guy. Of course, it had to be the one black bad guy, but that’s neither here nor there.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;">Most of all, he is a stand-in for the audience. For the majority of the movie, he is just listening to or watching the action. When McClane says over the walkie talkie, “I’m not the one who just got buttfucked on national tv!” the camera cuts to Argyle in the limousine clapping and laughing his ass off. Basically, we are all Argyle, cheering on John McClane; and if we had the chance, we would’ve taken a bad guy out, too! And yeah, it would have also hurt our fists!<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;"><b>9. Holly Genarro (not McClane). </b>Holly is a strong, independent woman, and we know that because she switched back to her maiden name for the sake of her career. That one detail tells us everything we need to know about her and her situation with John. She is in love with him, and she eventually needs him to save her, but she’s not just some damsel in distress. That stereotype is successfully subverted because her character is as well developed as the hero’s. She is smart and strong willed (how else could she get away with that perm?) and she becomes the de facto leader of the hostages after Hans kills her boss. Although she is almost always talking to a man who has some kind of power over her, she is always in control, or at least, she never backs down. She’ll even punch a dude in the face if she has to (“did you get that?). In the end, she doesn’t sacrifice her integrity as an independent woman, but she does reunite with her husband. Because this is ultimately a romantic Christmas movie.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;"><b>10. Ellis.</b> “Hans…Bubby!” The best. Ellis is a perfect parody of the 80s hotshot cokehead finance guy. He’ll just talk the problem away, and he knows better than anyone else. Of course, his big mouth and ego get him in some shit he doesn’t understand, and he doesn’t have a chance against a guy who doesn’t fall for the fast talking salesman theatrics. Hans brilliantly uses his murder to sow distrust between the police and McClane. Ellis is left with a hole in his head, and his death leaves a hole in our hearts. Goodbye, sweet coke prince.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;"><b>11. Small moments that add nothing to the plot. </b>These are moments with no real deeper meaning that don’t really move the plot forward, they just build character, or add ambiance, or they’re just fun. A lot of movies/screenwriters think everything needs to be plot-driven (think of the scenes in Marvel movies that only exist to connect to a plot point from a different Marvel movie). Some writers/directors consider these moments a waste of time, a needless digression. But people don’t watch a movie just for its plot. We want to be entertained. Not everything needs to be important or even relevant. Al getting Twinkies at the store isn’t necessary, but it’s funny, and tells us a lot about Al without overtly explaining anything. There’s no exposition about what type of guy Al is, we know when we see him with an armful of Twinkies, claiming they’re for his wife. When John arrives in LA, he sees a hot girl in stretch pants running towards him, he gets excited, then she passes and hugs her body builder boyfriend. That isn’t important, but it’s funny, and it tells us a bit about McClane (he’s a typical, testosterone fueled guy). It also tells us about the setting, and how McClane feels in this environment, far away from NYC. Similarly, when he gets to the party, a guy kisses him and says Merry Christmas. McClane says to himself, “Fucking LA”. He’s a fish out of water, a conservative New York cop in swanky, liberal LA.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #1d2228;">Then there’s the couple having sex in the office when the terrorists bust in. The woman runs out of the room topless. That’s just a treat for the audience. It also tells us what kind of party this is, just like when we see Ellis blowing a line of coke. The world of high finance, baby!</span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="color: #1d2228; font-size: 11pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;"><b>12. Small moments that add a lot to the plot. </b>Sometimes, seemingly random, throwaway lines and moments end up being vital. The movie opens with McClane on a plane. His neighbor gives him a secret for dealing with flight anxiety. When you get to your hotel, take off your shoes and socks, and make fists in the carpet with your bare feet. Besides the fact that this is actually a great stress reliever, it leads to a key plot point: McClane has to go barefoot through the building while hunting for terrorists. When Gruber finds out, he utters the infamous: “shoot the glass.” From that point on, McClane’s feet are absolutely destroyed and he has to spend half his time pulling out shards of glass and looking for shoes. That random statement from a random stranger has a major impact on the main character and story.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;">There’s also Holly’s watch. The first time we meet Ellis, he tells John about the Rolex Holly got as a bonus. John says, “I’m sure I’ll see it later”. Of course, he does see it later, when he unclasps it from Holly’s wrist and frees her from Gruber’s grip, sending Hans to his glorious death.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;">When the cops first decide to raid the building, one of the cops pricks his finger on a thorn bush. He gives a dramatic “ouch” and acts like he was stabbed or hit with shrapnel. Moments later, he and his entire team are taken out by Hans’ crew. The thorns should’ve been a sign that these cops were not ready or able to do the job they were about to do.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;">There are so many of these moments. Another one: when Holly puts the picture of her and John flat on the desk so Hans won’t see it. She knows he would use her against John, which is exactly what Hans does when he finds out who she is because of the reporter. That then leads to her cold cocking the reporter.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #1d2228;">Is it bad that all of the major protagonists use violence to solve their problems? Whatever. The movie is too good to worry about the societal implications. Besides, that punch feels so good. Cinematic violence is fun, what can I say. How much better would It’s a Wonderful Life be if George Bailey punched Mr Potter in the face at the end? A lot better. </span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="color: #1d2228; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;"><b>13. Sound and music. </b>Ever notice how loud the gunfire is in this movie? It’s another small detail, but it matters. At the very least, it made for an interesting behind the scenes story. When the guy is on top of the table shooting at McClane, and McClane is under the table shooting back, the director insisted on extra loud blanks for “extra realism.” It was so real, and extra, that Bruce Willis was left with permanent hearing damage in one of his ears. That is dedication.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;">To set the stage, Christmas music plays throughout the movie, and the melodies of several Christmas songs are referenced in the score. Certain notes and tones are used when the villains are on screen. When we first see him, Hans Gruber is humming “Ode to Joy” in the elevator before the siege. Ode to Joy then plays several times throughout the movie, in a very low tone, building to the full symphony when the vault is opened. That’s a level of synchronicity between story, character, and music that most movies never even attempt.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;">By the way, Ode to Joy is considered a Christmas carol in Japan. In what building do all the events of the movie take place? That's right. Nakatomi Plaza.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;">Die Hard just blew your mind. Hope you didn’t ruin your suit.</span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></p><p class="yiv5145893752msonormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.65pt; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: #1d2228; font-family: inherit;"><i>I Love You All...Class Dismissed. </i></span></p>Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-21805657545711361022020-10-10T22:50:00.002-04:002020-10-10T23:01:24.478-04:00The Protector. Dr. Death. Dad.<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDnFTRo9dkb24QhaoUyv1QtDyV7WhhkrjgBj1xFx5kpO6SU9uH97_xERoiwPNDo6WaMvgFr7LPDjw5a31Dq0XikMCmR0TTK4EA9brSOj15HO5zsNEHdiR8SuLg0GjPcbcwVlmf4cpWa1Tp/s1350/18076620_10154304810967397_9153997566572595656_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1350" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDnFTRo9dkb24QhaoUyv1QtDyV7WhhkrjgBj1xFx5kpO6SU9uH97_xERoiwPNDo6WaMvgFr7LPDjw5a31Dq0XikMCmR0TTK4EA9brSOj15HO5zsNEHdiR8SuLg0GjPcbcwVlmf4cpWa1Tp/s320/18076620_10154304810967397_9153997566572595656_o.jpg" /></a></div><br />My parents always loved to travel, and that greatly influenced my love for travel, as well as my entire perspective on life. The past 7 months--as a pandemic ravages the country and interstate travel has become difficult, never mind traveling to different countries--have only reminded me how important travel is to my life. The lack of it has left a massive hole. <p></p><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">I realize that is a very privileged position, and I've always been grateful for my ability to travel. When I was 11 or 12 years old, my parents took my brother, myself, and our golden retriever Tuffy on a cross country trip in our black Chevy Astro van, with a pop-up camper trailing behind. Even as a kid, I knew this was a special experience. How many kids, or adults for that matter, get to see the majority of the country? We saw the amber waves of grain in the great plains of the Midwest, to the purple majesty of the mountains of the West, which really weren't that purple but were definitely majestic, and back through the Appalachians. It's truly a beautiful country, and the trip game me a perspective on it that not many people ever get. </div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"> </div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">We stayed at my parents' friends some nights, and in our pop-up camper others. For a couple nights, we stayed in Yellowstone National Park. You don't get an appreciation for its size and beauty (majestic!) unless you see it in person. Of course, nature can be as dangerous as it is breathtakingly beautiful. Many other campers who were sleeping in tents hung food up in trees because there were more bears than usual that year. I was never happier for the hard plastic doors of our camper, even though a hungry Grizzly would have made light work of those, too. </div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">One afternoon, it was really hot, and we drove past a lake. There was a spot on the road where you could pull over and park, so we did. A man and woman were swimming in the lake. They left as we arrived, and I remember them saying, "the water is refreshing". Nothing more. </div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">When we parked, Tuffy ran out of the van and into the lake. He always loved to swim. My brother and I followed him in. The water at the edge of the lake was cool and clean, but there was a lot of undergrowth; thick weeds and long grass. After a few minutes. Tuffy got out of the water, and my dad spotted some dark spots on him. </div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">My dad called out to us, "Guys, you have to come in now." We walked out of the water, wondering what was wrong. Then I looked down. There were dark lumps all over my body. <br /><br />LEECHES!<br /><br />Disgusting, slimy, blood sucking leeches! And they were all over me! There were a bunch on my torso, and I immediately thought about where else they might be. If you've seen Stand By Me, you know exactly where my mind was going. </div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">I just knew there was gonna be a giant leech right on my most sensitive and private of parts. Besides the horror of a disgusting slug clinging to my skin and stealing my precious life blood, I really didn't want my first sexual contact to be with a leech! </div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">I was almost immediately in shock. I didn't say a word, I just ran to the van, hoping someone would do something. My dad, sensing my growing inner hysteria, very calmly told me to get in the van. I couldn't bring myself to pull the leeches off. I didn't want to touch them (even though, technically I already was). I didn't know if they'd pull my skin off or leave a bruise or what. Maybe I'd pull them off and they'd be stuck to my fingers, then I'd try to pull them off with my other hand and that would get stuck too. It was probably the first instance of complete panic in my young life. </div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">So as I stood in the back of the van, freaking out and imagining these lake slugs getting fatter by the second as they slurped my blood, my dad gently but firmly pulled them off my skin. </div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">To this day, I can clearly hear the loud "Slurrrrrp...popppp!" as he pulled them off my skin. I absolutely made that up, but still, I can hear it. </div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">He started on my back, as I looked down to check my front. Sure enough, there was a big one right on my crotch...on the outside of my bathing suit. Phew. I could handle that. Just burn the bathing suit, no problem. I slowly pulled the front of my suit down and peeked inside.</div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">Nothing. The panic started to subside. </div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">My dad pulled the rest of the slimy leeches off me. I don't know how long it took, probably no more than 30 seconds, but there was a range of changing emotions that I 'd never experienced. From happiness at swimming in a lake in one of the most beautiful areas on Earth, to terror at the thought of a permanent slug hickey on my penis, to complete relief when the last leech was pulled off and I hadn't passed out or been left with any scars. At least physically.<br /><br />My dad's calming nature was all that got me through. As a kid, I was mostly calm and collected, but like any kid, I had outbursts of emotion every now and then. I had never really felt panic or that amount of fear before, though. If I had known how easy they came off, I probably wouldn't have been so scared, but that was the power of River Phoenix's acting I guess. The only reason I didn't really lose it was that I knew I was safe. I had a protector. </div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">I don't want to deify my dad. He's a person. He has faults. He gets frustrated. He makes mistakes. But none of that lessens him. It shows that all humans have the capacity for greatness. Nobody will be perfect at all times, but how you respond in difficult moments or situations defines your character. Many are unable or unwilling to step up in difficult situations and do difficult things, which makes those who are willing and able to do so that much more impressive. </div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">At one point, my family referred to my dad as Dr. Death. I know that seems counter to everything I just said, but it was name that reflected his compassion. Whenever a pet needed to be put down, the family called him. Putting down a beloved pet is one of the most difficult things to do, but when they have reached a point where there is no real quality of life, putting them down is the most merciful thing to do. That doesn't make it any easier. And it doesn't feel right letting a doctor or technician do it. As Candy in Of Mice and Men said about his dog, "I oughta shot that dog myself. I shouldn't a let no stranger shoot my dog." We should be with our pets in their last moments, sending them off to that big open field full of tennis balls and treats in the sky. Letting them go, freeing them from their pain, is an expression of love. But still...it's hard. And if it was too hard, call Ken. He can handle it, just like he handles any difficult situation: with love and compassion. <br /><br />I can think of no more difficult situation than what my parents have gone through in the past few years. My mom has Parkinson's, but my dad has suffered from it as well. He has watched the woman he loves, his wife of 52 years, deteriorate in front of his eyes. I still have trouble with that. It breaks my heart daily. We all get older and lose some of our functions and capabilities, so at some point we all watch the ones we love get older and deteriorate, but Parkinson's is not a natural deterioration. It is a vicious attack on the mind and body. She went from walking fine to needing a cane, then a walker, to permanently in a wheelchair in a matter of 4 years. After a scary incident that left her in a coma and led to a lengthy hospital stay 3 years ago, the disease has attacked her mind as well. Through all the shaking and pain and eventually the inability to walk, she had always been mentally sharp. Now, she has moments of clarity but she also has moments where she's lost in a delusion. Those moments are getting longer. </div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">She's confused a lot, which causes her stress, and her inability to do things physically only adds to the mental strain. It's an awful cycle that feeds on itself. She continues to fight, and she is an inspiration, but she couldn't do it alone. Just like I couldn't handle those leeches on my own. </div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">Parkinson's has proven to be much more harmful and tenacious than any leech, but my dad hasn't stopped trying to protect my mom from it, just as he protected me.</div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcn20qQqqE8WnTcmZKShj10_IvxxX-s0vocayO06HUaAh782T5a_rKkgPcRkksz9HkGtvHosTpiyfGaKfOk6ULfrJ-UC0ke0XAPnfjU5oWs3ZleQZeQjWLdnOlYjjALfa3mnZDsDR0jfzA/s1080/27368429_10154996012402397_2442180455247447906_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcn20qQqqE8WnTcmZKShj10_IvxxX-s0vocayO06HUaAh782T5a_rKkgPcRkksz9HkGtvHosTpiyfGaKfOk6ULfrJ-UC0ke0XAPnfjU5oWs3ZleQZeQjWLdnOlYjjALfa3mnZDsDR0jfzA/s320/27368429_10154996012402397_2442180455247447906_o.jpg" /></a></div><br /><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">I don't need him to protect me anymore, but I do feel safer knowing he's there. Through his actions, he's always taught me that we do whatever it takes to protect those we love. </div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">Sometimes, when I see my friend's parents, many of whom are the same age as my parents, I get jealous and sad because they are enjoying their golden years. It's not fair that my parents don't get to travel around the world, relax at their beach house, visit their grandkids whenever they want. It's unfair that my dad has to be a fulltime nurse and can't go golfing whenever he wants. It's unfair that my mom can't go for a simple walk or spend a quiet evening reading a book. It's unfair that I can't have a conversation with her without her eventually getting confused or forgetful. </div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">But many people my age have lost a parent, or both. Many people have life threatening or life changing diseases. That's life, the most unfair game in town. The only game in town. Sometimes you live your life helping others and going to church and raising your kids the best you can, and you end up with a debilitating brain disorder anyways. Sometimes you go on an incredible vacation and jump in a beautiful lake on a sunny day and end up covered in disgusting leeches. </div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">If you're lucky, you have people in your life to help you pull them off. </div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">I've always had that, and I'm forever grateful. </div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on"><i>I Love You All...Class Dismissed. </i></div>Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-67928976350089463262020-09-18T15:33:00.002-04:002020-10-11T10:31:32.056-04:00The Many Faces of Heroism<p>Superhero movies have become a dominant fixture of American culture in the past 20 years. As the world makes less and less sense, and as the dangers in the world take on more and more complex forms, we tend to look for simple solutions and heroes who can punch the evil away. Iron Man can defeat terrorists and aliens with his incredible technology! Captain America can defeat Nazis and aliens with his pure heart, incredible courage, and steroids! The Hulk can smash evil Norse gods and aliens with his bare hands! If only life were so simple. At least we don't have aliens. </p><span>Instead, we have invisible viruses. We have degenerative diseases. We have systemic racism. And although our technology has reached an almost miraculous level, we haven’t found the solution to these problems, and no matter how much we hope for it, the Hulk isn’t coming to smash them away. <br /><br />In real life, heroism doesn’t look like The Avengers. Sure, sometimes a person does a heroic act like pulling a baby out of a burning building or taking down a mass shooter before he can kill more. But for the most part, in real life, heroic acts are smaller gestures that express the beauty and the intense goodness that exist within life all around us, coexisting with all the ugliness and negativity. Extending a helping hand, supporting a friend in need, speaking out for those with no voice, pushing on in the face of adversity. These heroic acts often aren’t considered heroic. Maybe they aren't equivalent to saving the entire planet from destruction, but they are real, human moments of heroism in the face of the most uncaring, inescapable, undefeated villain the real world has to offer: death.<br /><br />Unfortunately, that villain got its sickly paws on Chadwick Boseman, who became a literal superhero, the Black Panther, and helped ignite a worldwide phenomenon. All while battling colon cancer. It is almost inconceivable to think of what he accomplished after getting the diagnosis, receiving chemo treatments, and ultimately knowing he would soon die. </span><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjldg-rtDaf45yvkBjIyNYStyMcui0x_TfoLWRGdiR6BFX9aFiMNdzGnH3hbzMpv8kqUCxAA3sUqh9dEYly-8QAqp8loXX2ExvMqW8JDc15G2laP5EtXdq4Pd-LEGOOPEAQI-1zFwUNLWq6/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1079" data-original-width="1079" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjldg-rtDaf45yvkBjIyNYStyMcui0x_TfoLWRGdiR6BFX9aFiMNdzGnH3hbzMpv8kqUCxAA3sUqh9dEYly-8QAqp8loXX2ExvMqW8JDc15G2laP5EtXdq4Pd-LEGOOPEAQI-1zFwUNLWq6/" width="240" /></a></div><br /></span><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">It’s honestly so inconceivable that it moves beyond inspirational. Nobody should feel like they need to accomplish so much while going through something like that. It's ok to rest! The fact that he did what he did is commendable and amazing, but too often we use the unique, incredible accomplishments of one person to shame others. If he was the Black Panther and made Avengers Infinity War and End Game and did all the red carpet appearances and interviews and met with sick kids and loved his family and gave black people around the world a moment of happiness and gave black children representation in an area where it was severely lacking, all while fighting cancer...HOW DARE YOU TAKE A DAY OFF FROM WORK BECAUSE YOU’VE GOT THE SNIFFLES! How dare you feel sorry for yourself even for one second just because you have a disease or disability! <br /><br />As a culture and society, we feel pressure to not only praise this great man for doing great things in the face of adversity, we have to use his death as a lesson. We often call people living with deadly diseases "heroes," and rightly so, but sometimes it seems like that we do it just to make ourselves feel better. To ease our own fears. We don’t want cancer, so someone who has it and perseveres is a hero. But we don’t truly consider what that means or what that person is actually going through. They're not even their own person anymore, they become a character in a story. They’re not a regular person with everyday issues and fears: they are CANCER WARRIORS! <br /><br />There is good intent behind this characterization. People fighting cancer are fighting a heroic battle, to save their very lives. They should be praised. But this characterization can dehumanize people, or glorify people at the expense of others. This person won his battle against cancer! Well, this other person lost his battle against cancer. Does that mean one was stronger than the other? Did one simply fight harder? Maybe both fought equally as hard, but one had better treatment. Maybe the one who died actually fought harder. Maybe it was all just pure, shitty luck. <br /><br />Chadwick Boseman didn't "lose" a battle against cancer. He died from a horrible disease. And before that, he lived as well as he could. But not everyone can do what Chadwick Boseman did--embody the literal role of a superhero and inspire millions of people across the globe while fighting cancer--and they shouldn't feel bad about it. Courage looks different on each person depending on their circumstances. Heroism looks different on different people. For some people, simply getting out of the house is heroic. <br /><br />Recently, my mom went into the hospital. She’s been in and out (mostly out, thankfully) for the past 2.5 years. Parkinson's and Parkinson's related dementia has taken its toll on her (and us) but once again, it has not broken her. After being in there for about a week, with no visitors allowed, she came home and was ready to live. It was her 75th birthday a few days after she got home, and she insisted on going out to eat. Every time she has gotten out of the hospital, she has wanted to go out soon after. She is more willing and less hesitant than me. I can't help thinking of everything that can go wrong, whether it’s a good idea, what about Covid or this or that…but she's adamant. She wants to go out. So we put our masks on and ate on an outside patio.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0_Jsv6MYZmyQNcVmgXIhRTbDyVAnaJLnG5EUV1Y6Dc7j2ZjaNl1c7jBS8rTSFzGDEI4mzPpG99wRlh2hp1iSdbztgFCYY3c89zs4j6gjxSj5TSsBSwQXS6l0CsbpqaHxWGfBoiasWyd5H/s2048/471555_3333833185628_1118980455_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="281" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0_Jsv6MYZmyQNcVmgXIhRTbDyVAnaJLnG5EUV1Y6Dc7j2ZjaNl1c7jBS8rTSFzGDEI4mzPpG99wRlh2hp1iSdbztgFCYY3c89zs4j6gjxSj5TSsBSwQXS6l0CsbpqaHxWGfBoiasWyd5H/w375-h281/471555_3333833185628_1118980455_o.jpg" width="375" /></a></div><br /></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">Through it all, she hasn’t given up on life. There are probably moments when she wants to. Just like in the superhero movies, there's always a moment when the hero is ready to call it quits. They are defeated. They are exhausted. Batman retires and hangs up the cape. The Black Panther gets tossed over a cliff and falls into a coma.<br /><br />There are moments when we all want to give up. And some people do. That's not a sign of weakness. There's only so much pain and anguish one can bear. Honestly, sometimes giving up is a rational response. <br /><br />And that’s exactly why not giving up is so heroic. Life is fucking hard! Those who keep going in the face of adversity and death are so admirable because it's not a logical, rational response. You're going to die anyways, why fight it? <br /><br />Because what else is there? Life is fighting death. That’s the whole thing! <br /><br />In Boseman's situation, a rational response to finding out he had colon cancer would have been to stop working. Stop visiting sick kids. Stop doing talk shows and meeting fans. At the very least, tell people why you’re losing weight and looking frail so you don't get attacked on social media! Instead, he just took it all upon himself. He didn’t want people feeling sorry for him, or just didn’t want the parasitic entertainment industry sucking his life dry for “heartwarming” interviews. Maybe he was just a private person, but I truly think he understood that he had become a symbol, and he wanted to represent a sense of power and nobility and grace, and joy, without the element of pity. <br /><br />People thought he looked tired doing the Wakanda Forever pose for everyone who requested it, but maybe that was the only thing keeping him going. <br /><br />He didn’t ask for pity or praise for dealing with his sickness. My mom never has, either. (My dad hasn't either, for that matter, and what he does on the daily basis is heroic, too.) All she wants is to feel normal. To live her life without the crushing weight of her disease, even for a few moments. <br /><br />So she asked us to take her out to dinner.<br /><br />And yes, in the face of Parkinson’s and dementia and Covid, that is heroic as hell. <br /></span><br /><br /><div><i>I Love You All...Class Dismissed. </i></div></div></div>Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-53591935224269114972020-03-23T21:33:00.000-04:002020-03-23T21:33:17.492-04:00 13 Things I Love about There Will Be Blood<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />1. Daniel Day Lewis, duh. Somehow he topped his performance from Gangs of New York. This is what they call a “powerhouse” performance. One for the ages. What a beast. His character, Daniel Plainview, is an absolute monster. It’s amazing to watch but he is a legendary asshole. He is a hard man living a hard life. In the opening scene, he is looking for gold and silver by himself in a deep mine. A hole, really. Since this was long before safety requirements, he falls down the hole and breaks his leg. When he wakes up, he has to pull himself up on a rope. It’s an excruciating few minutes. That’s our introduction to him: a man willing to risk life and limb for his business. For the rest of the movie, he has an awkward limp, which makes him somehow even more intimidating.<br /><br />2. For me, this will always be connected to No Country for Old Men. They came out the same year and competed for a bunch of awards. More than that, I watched them within a week of each other, and they have a similar feel. They take place out West, the central focus is a powerful, terrifying, villainous character portrayed by an incredible actor, they are directed by legends, and they both share a dark, world-weary tone. I was a little upset that No Country won the Oscar for best movie, best Director and best Screenplay, but I probably would have been upset if this won and that lost. Both movies deserved all those awards. Daniel Day Lewis got best actor so they got that right no question. Regardless, these are two great movies to have mentally connected.<br /> <br />3. Intensity. Obviously, Daniel Day Lewis is intense. He’s a stone man made of pure fury. But it’s more than just his performance. It’s a good story and cool, sometimes even shocking things happen, but it’s not exactly an action movie. It’s also long. And yet, every moment is riveting. Between Daniel breaking his leg in the opening, and when the pipe lands on the guy’s head with a sickening thud, there’s a sense of impending doom that doesn’t ever leave your gut. Every element of the movie comes together in unison to create a sense of urgency. The constant, almost piercing music, the cinematography, the realistically portrayed dangers of the job, Daniel’s performance, all combine for a mesmerizing work of art.<br /><br />4. Cinematography. This deserves a big screen viewing. It’s a beautiful film about rugged men doing dirty work. There are extended shots of the landscape, with the beautiful mountains and plains of early 20th century California, interrupted only by newly built oil wells. The shots inside the wells are great as well (ha). They are claustrophobic and dark as opposed to the shots of the open landscape. Everything looks crystal clear and sharp and feels authentic. It is a perfectly crafted visual world that sets the foundation for Daniel Day Lewis to do his thing and helps draw the audience in to the characters and story. Like any great movie, the camera transports the viewers to the time and place depicted in the story.<br /><br />5. Music and sound. Tense music plays almost throughout the whole move. It’s just constant, eerie, high pitched strings, all the time. He’ll be drilling for oil or making a business deal or getting off the train, and you’re on the edge of your seat because the music is a continuous crescendo, serving to heighten the true danger and insidiousness of it all. Because it’s the oil business; it was and is incredibly insidious. <br />Sound is a really important and cool element of the film, too. The sound of the oil pump. The train’s whistle. The men screaming. Daniel and Eli’s booming voices. Wind on the plain. Then there’s the lack of sound after the boy’s accident. Again, it all works to put the audience in the characters’ shoes. The kid can’t hear, so for a few moments we can’t hear, either. Then, when we can hear again, the sounds are intensified.<br /><br />6. Fatherhood. The relationship between Daniel and the child, HW, is the heart of the movie. That’s why the ending feels like ripping out a beating heart.<br />After a man dies when a machine part falls on his head—because again, this was early 20th century—Daniel adopts the man’s infant son. He was in the well with the guy at the time of his death, and it was his well, so he likely feels guilty. At this point, he seems to still have feelings for other humans and genuinely cares for the kid. However, whether or not it was always his intent from the beginning, he essentially uses HW to grow his company. The “family man” angle helps him close deals.<br />After HW goes deaf, the relationship between him and Daniel starts to fray. Daniel doesn’t have time to learn sign language and teach HW, which frustrates and angers the boy. The budding relationship between Daniel and his “brother” Henry doesn’t help, either. One night, HW lights a fire in their cabin as Daniel and Henry sleep. Daniel wakes up and chases him. The lighting of the fire, Daniel chasing HW, and then carrying him back to the cabin, is all done in essentially one long tracking shot, and I can’t stress enough how much that contributes to the intensity of the film. Daniel then sends HW away to a school for the deaf. He can’t take care of him and run the business efficiently. He never admits it, but this affects him greatly.<br />At the end of the movie, it is sixteen years later in 1927, and HW is getting married to his childhood friend, Mary. HW visits Daniel’s office and tells him they’re moving to Mexico. HW wants to open his own oil company. Daniel gets angry and tells him that he has become competition. He calls HW a “bastard from a basket” and mockingly explains his true origins. It is cruel. It is brutal and heartbreaking, and it completes Daniel’s evolution into full villain. Once HW leaves, Daniel gets fall down drunk and flashes back to all the times they shared. He is clearly distraught. He chased away the one person that loved him.<br />There’s also the relationship between Eli and his father. Eli has contempt for his father for “selling out” to Daniel (even though that’s literally what Eli did). After Daniel beats Eli, Eli beats his father. But we can’t feel too bad for the father, because it was revealed earlier that he beat Mary, Eli’s sister and HW’s eventual wife. At one point, Daniel threatens the man if he continues. After that, Mary clearly looks to Daniel as a father figure, which makes his attack on HW at the end even more heartbreaking.<br /><br />7. Brotherhood. This is another one of the several themes in the film, and it is manifested in two sets of people, yet only three actors. Paul Dano plays twin brothers, Paul and Eli. The brothers clearly don’t care much for each other and they are never seen together (which also leads to some mystery about whether Paul really exists. He does). Paul goes to Daniel to propose an offer for his family’s land, which he claims has oil under it. They make a deal and Daniel heads to the land with HW. They meet Paul’s father and twin brother, Eli, who knows what they’re up to and wants in on the profits. Ultimately, Eli wants funding for the church he’s starting. Later, Daniel uses Eli’s frayed relationship with his brother against him to insult him further.<br />About midway through the movie, a man claiming to be Daniel’s half-brother (brother from another mother) Henry shows up. Daniel doesn’t trust him at first but eventually they get close, which hurts HW’s feelings. When Daniel sends HW away, Daniel and Henry start running the business together, and Daniel even opens up to his brother a bit. He says, “I see the worst in people. I can’t keep doing this on my own with these ...people” and then gives this sinister laugh. Daniel is even scarier when he’s in touch with his feelings. <br />Ironically, Daniel didn’t see the worst in Henry and regrets it later. Actually, Henry regrets it because Daniel can’t forgive the dishonesty and murders him. Daniel is not his fake brother’s keeper.<br /><br />8. The intersection of Capitalism and Religion and the evils of both. This takes place during the Industrial Revolution and we see the cutthroat nature of the oil and railroad industries. The business men are in nice suits and talk in polite, civil tones, but they are still evil. Daniel is just more honest and open with his ruthlessness. He accuses Standard Oil of owning the railroads, and he’s not wrong. Far from the benevolent “job creators” that these “captains of industry” are generally portrayed to be, they are ruthless businessmen who don’t care about their workers or the common man. They are monopolizing two industries, both of which are literally deadly. Rail workers didn’t exactly get insurance. And oil workers had it worse. Daniel breaks his leg. 2 guys die. HW goes deaf. The oil industry involves lots of machinery and lots of big holes with lots of bad things happening in them. Capitalism is portrayed as the brutal, uncaring system it is.<br />Religion doesn’t come off much better. We see how the two intersect to maintain a system of inequity. Daniel is incredibly (and hilariously) uncomfortable with religion. At certain points, he’s amused by it, other times he’s disgusted by it. He has open contempt for Eli and it is great. However, even before Eli opens his church, Daniel sees the benefit of placating the religious. Wherever he drills, he donates to or helps build churches for the towns. He understands the sense of community it builds and that it keeps the workers happy. On the other side, the churches need the oil money to build and to stay open. When Daniel starts drilling near Eli’s family’s land, they build a temporary tent city near the new oil derricks. Eli tries to and successfully converts the oil workers. Later, Daniel has to concede power and stature to Eli and the church to get what he wants for his business. And of course, Eli then humiliates himself to try to get money for his church from Daniel. Whether it’s in the name of Business or the name of God, the ethics involved are the same: Anything for a buck.<br /><br />9. Direction. I’m a huge PT Anderson fan. Boogie Nights is classic. Magnolia is one of my favorite movies and one which I can honestly apply the phrase “It changed my life.”<br />There are like ten scenes in this movie. There are no jump cuts to catch our attention, there are mostly long, uninterrupted tracking shots. We get one continuous perspective of the scene, and that makes the audience feel a part of the action. We see things unfolding as if we are there watching it. Also, the pacing is perfect. There is absolutely no filler. Everything is vital to the story or to character development. There are long, important conversations, followed by quick, brief action sequences, then silent moments focused on something subtle, like the intensity of Daniel’s face. It all serves to keep our attention without any gimmicks.<br />There are so many powerful, perfectly crafted scenes. One of my favorites is when HW loses his hearing. One of Daniel’s wells strikes oil, and it shoots up violently into the sky. HW is standing on the derrick and gets blasted by the force. The oil is shooting up uncontrollably and it catches fire, so there’s a giant column of oil and fire and smoke, while HW lays almost unconscious near it. This crazy, trippy music starts, as one of the workers rushes to tell Daniel what happened. He starts running toward the derrick, and the camera runs parallel to him. It’s a long, beautiful shot of him running; it’s daytime and the Southern California scenery is moving behind him as he remains in the center of the camera. We see all the other workers frantically running behind him, too. Daniel finally reaches the derrick. HW is deaf. Daniel grabs him, brings him down, and runs all the way back to his cabin with HW in his arms. He sets the boy down and gets back to work. He runs back to the derricks. He starts chopping down the cords that prop up the wooden beams. The men are at work for hours, and the background turns from sunny day to dark night. The fire lights up the pitch black sky as the men continue to fight it. When the derrick falls and they finally contain it, Daniel lets out a smile. They just struck it rich. One of his coworkers asks if the boy will be all right. “No, no he will not,” replies Daniel, stone faced. It’s a big, beautiful, elaborate, emotional, intense scene, and it’s fucking amazing.<br />In another scene, PT Anderson shows how important subtlety and imagery is to telling a powerful story. After HW is sent away, and after Daniel spends some alone time with his “brother,” he starts contemplating his situation. He is at the beach with Henry. We see them enjoying the clear blue water. Then the camera focuses on Daniel. He is floating in the ocean, we see his head above the water, and his body below the water. He is divided, conflicted. Again, this loud, suspenseful music plays. His dark eyes and his mouth and the distorted view of him and the music make it all feel so sinister. This is supposed to be a celebration! They just made a huge sale! But Daniel isn’t exactly a celebratory kinda guy. He’s also suspicious of Henry because his story is not adding up. After the relaxing day at the beach, Henry wakes up to Daniel with a gun in his face. He knows Henry is not really his brother. He confronts him and finally gets the truth. It seems like he’s contemplating his options, but Daniel goes with the only solution he ever really considered: he shoots him and buries him. Cue the orchestral strings. <br /><br />10. Subtlety. In addition to Anderson’s expertise and ability to balance the subtle with the elaborate, the actors have the same ability. Before Daniel opens the new oil derrick on Eli’s family’s land, Eli asks to address the people and bless the derrick. Daniel initially agrees, but only to get the deal done and get Eli out of his face. At the opening, Daniel addresses the crowd, and then calls up Eli’s sister, little Mary, to help him bless the derrick. Eli looks on in silent rage. Daniel doesn’t even acknowledge him but he knows exactly what he’s doing. Later, another oil worker dies when a machine part falls on his head (no subtlety there). Eli then visits Daniel and mentions that the guy might not have died if Daniel let him do the blessing. Eli is now subtly jabbing Daniel for his actions, playing on his guilt. <br />There’s also one scene where Daniel is talking to guys from Standard Oil. He brags about the 3 wells he has, and the way he holds up his 3 fingers and says, “3” is just so perfect and hilarious and menacing. There are so many small moments like that.<br /><br />11. Over the top ridiculousness. That sounds negative, but I mean it in the best way. When he’s not making small gestures loaded with meaning, Daniel is losing his shit. Honestly, Daniel Day Lewis probably does the best job of mixing subtle with over the top acting that I’ve ever seen. He yells and rages better than anyone, and he also expresses an entire spectrum of emotion with just one eye brow better than anyone. Paul Dano is no slouch, either. Working opposite Daniel could not have been easy, especially for such a young actor. He plays Eli as a mostly sniveling little weasel, albeit one who stands up to Daniel occasionally, but he also breaks into these fiery sermons. He is Pat Robertson on meth. Both he and Daniel have numerous memorable lines, some of which are utterly ridiculous on the face of it, but with their masterful deliveries, the ridiculous lines work. When Eli is preaching, he starts screaming and shaking and sliding around the church. He is screaming at the devil, saying “as long as I have teeth, I will bite you! And if I have no teeth, I will gum you!” What? That’s objectively absurd, but it is meant to show how absurd Eli is, and it succeeds. Anyone in their right mind would not take this guy seriously, and only Daniel seems to understand that. Of course, Daniel has his own ridiculous streak. When he breaks the unfortunate news to Eli that the oil Eli thinks will make him rich is gone, he utters the infamous line, “I drink your milkshake. I drink it up!” It’s silly and ridiculous, but Daniel gives this elaborate production explaining drilling techniques to Eli that really sells the line and turns it into a cruel taunt. The line makes no sense outside of this particular scene, and yet it became a common phrase, splashed across t-shirts and referenced in pop culture endlessly. That’s a damn good line. Even though it’s ridiculous. Or because it’s ridiculous? Either way, it doesn’t matter. It sticks with you, largely because of Daniel’s delivery. <br /><br />12. Insults. Daniel is a piece of shit, but man, he has the best insults. After HW’s accident and the other oil worker’s death, Eli publicly confronts Daniel about money owed to him. Daniel bitch slaps the shit out of him and knock him to the ground. Then he pulls him by the hair through the mud. Eli is screaming the whole time. Daniel pins him down and sits on his chest. “Can’t you make my son hear again? Aren’t you a healer.” He keeps slapping him. Then he fills Eli’s mouth with mud and tells him, “I’m gonna bury you underground Eli. I’m gonna bury you underground.” I hate to cheer for a bully, but it’s fantastic.<br />When he is at a business meeting, Standard Oil offers to buy him out. They tell him they’ll make him a millionaire. He asks, “What would I do with myself?” And one replies, “Take care of your son?” That doesn’t go over well. They mention his boy a couple other times, and he’s not having it. This is right after he sent HW away, so he’s a little sensitive. He says, “Did you just tell me how to run my family?” Then he casually tells the guy, “One night, I'm gonna come to you, inside of your house, wherever you're sleeping, and I'm gonna cut your throat.” Jesus.<br />After HW comes back, Daniel takes him to lunch and runs into the same guy from Standard Oil. He puts a napkin over his face so HW doesn’t know what he’s saying (or because he’s insane) and starts yelling at the guy, bragging about a deal he just made. Then he walks over to the table and asks the guy if he sees his son. “I’m taking care of him now so…you look like a fool, don’t you?” The guy seems to not really know what the hell is going on, but he knows he’s getting chumped. He replies, “Yes.” Daniel excuses himself, drinks the guy’s whiskey, and walks away. Mic drop. <br />But the absolute best insults are saved for Eli. The bitch slapping scene is great, but the final scene is the stuff legends are made of. Besides the “milkshake” line, every line in the scene is perfect. After getting Eli to humiliate himself, he twists the knife. He tells him, “Your brother was the real prophet” because Paul was the one that first came to Daniel. He says, “you’re just the afterbirth, Eli.” Damn! “You slithered out of your mother’s filth. They should have put you in a glass jar on a mantelpiece.” Fuck! “Where were you when Paul was suckling at his mother's teat? Where were you? Who was nursing you, poor Eli? One of Bandy's sows?” Shit! Just devastating. Then he explains that he has already taken the oil. “Drainage! Drainage, Eli, you boy.” The only thing Daniel is better at than running an oil company and ruining his own personal life is ruining Eli’s life. <br /><br />13. Parallelism. The themes of brotherhood and fatherhood are paralleled between characters. The themes of capitalism and religion parallel each other. And more specifically, two of the best scenes parallel each other in many ways. They are incredible scenes on their own, but the combination….*chef’s kiss*.<br />After Daniel kills and buries Henry, he wakes up to see William Bandy, the owner of the one piece of land he hadn’t purchased yet. Daniel wants to build a pipeline through his land. Bandy agrees, if Daniel agrees to be baptized. <br />Of course, it’s Eli that will baptize him. Eli savors the opportunity and puts on a big show. He really gets into it because he knows Daniel hates it. Eli has finally won. He calls Daniel a sinner. He tells him to get on his knees and accept Jesus. Daniel reluctantly does everything he is told. It’s a really special scene, with two actors at their best. It’s a beautifully shot scene, too. The clean, almost shiny wood of the pews and the bright white background frame the action. Eli tells Daniel to repeat everything he says, and Daniel does, but when he gets to “I have abandoned my child,” it’s too much. Daniel pauses and stutters, but he says it. Again and again, until it feels as if Daniel is no longer just placating Eli. He feels intense guilt for sending HW away. He yells out “I am a sinner. I want the blood…I’ve abandoned my child.” As Eli delays the baptism, drawing out the discomfort, Daniel gets impatient. “Give me the blood lord,” he snaps. Eli slaps him across the face. Daniel smirks and asks for more. The scene is out of control. The holy spirit has taken the wheel. The priest pours water over Daniel. He smirks and mutters, “There’s a pipeline.” Anything. For. A. Buck. He stands and shakes Eli’s hand, staring him down. He walks back to his pew and the whole crowd loves him. Little Mary runs over and hugs him. <br />Sixteen years later, after Daniel has built an empire but destroyed his relationship with his son, he is passed out in his own bowling alley. It is a similar setting as the church, with the clean, shiny wood of the lanes and the white walls framing the action. He wakes up to find Eli, who tells him that Mr Bandy is dead, and Eli has the rights to his property. Bandy’s son and Eli want Daniel to drill the land for them. Daniel says he’ll do it if Eli admits he’s a false prophet and that god is a superstition. Eli is disgusted by the suggestion but quickly gives in for a shot at making some money because he’s in serious debt. Daniel makes him say it over and over. He tells Eli to say it like one of his sermons. Put his heart into it. After Eli really lets it rip and denounces his life’s work and entire belief system, Daniel tells him the land is worthless because he already took the oil underneath it. He drank Eli’s milkshake. He drank it up! Daniel has proven the fraudulent nature of religion and the dominance of cutthroat capitalism. Eli is defeated, but it’s not good enough for Daniel. He throws bowling balls and pins at Eli and chases him around, eventually “baptizing” him on the head with a pin. He wins again. Capitalism wins. But at what cost? Religion may be a fraud, but what does capitalism offer instead? Death, destruction, the obliteration of family, loneliness.<br />The butler calls out, “Mr. Daniel?” And Daniel, sitting on the floor next to the body of the man he just murdered, replies, “I’m finished.” Classic closing line to a classic movie.<div>
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<i>I Love You All...Class Dismissed.</i></div>
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Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-84513883862816629682020-03-23T21:30:00.002-04:002020-03-23T21:30:21.990-04:0013 Things I Love about Elf<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />1. It’s the greatest Christmas movie of the 21st Century. One of the few original, modern day Christmas legends.<br /><br />2. Buddy the Elf. Most people love him but do we really appreciate the unique sensation that is Buddy the MFing Elf? Think about it; this created a whole new Christmas character and mythos. It’s like the 21st Century equivalent of creating Rudolph or the Grinch or Frosty the Snowman. It hadn’t happened since, what? The Nightmare Before Christmas with Jack Skellington? Most new Christmas movies are just rehashes of older classics (Christmas Carol/Grinch) or basic “families spending time together and finding the meaning of Christmas” movies. Elf is a modern fairy tale. There are Buddy the Elf dolls and costumes. There’s an Elf musical. There’s no Fred Claus musical. Love Actually doesn’t have a children’s book. Bad Santa isn’t even a new character, he’s just a typical mall Santa with a slightly worse alcohol problem (plus Bad Santa sucks after the first viewing). Buddy the Elf is a phenomenon, a milestone of 21st Century pop culture, a newly created icon that people of all ages and races can and will enjoy for holiday seasons to come.<br /><br />3. Will Ferrell. Ferrell’s awkward sincerity is perfect for the role and it’s in its most perfect form here. Ferrell is very hit or miss. When he’s on, and when his character and the story are well developed, he is one of the funniest people in the world. And then there are movies like Bewitched or Sherlock and Watson. This character was seemingly made directly from the best of his DNA and he completely engulfs the role. When the boss at the department store says that Santa is coming and he yells out, “Santa!! I know him!” it is so pure and genuine it could make a stone smile. It’s so silly (kinda stupid, even) but he is so sincere and the character is made of such pure happiness and joy, that it all comes together to create a sense of childlike whimsy.<br /><br />4. Whimsy. The best word to describe the movie is whimsical. And it’s the best part about the movie. It is very silly. It is very clever, with sharp line after sharper line. The dialogue, the characters, the scenes, everything is memorable in the best ways. But more than anything, every moment in the film is filled with the intent of bringing joy. It’s truly like watching a movie in a sea of swirly twirly gum drops. Elf, the character and the movie, just want to make everybody happy. That is their entire purpose, and they knock it out of the candy cane forest.<br /><br />5. Heartwarming. Like any good Christmas movie, it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. There are heartwarming moments between Buddy and his two father figures, heartwarming scenes between Buddy and the kid, between James Caan and the kid, between Buddy and Zooey, even between Buddy and Mr. Narwhal.<br /><br />6. Mr. Narwhal. The Penguin. Leon the Snowman. Such great characters and they only appear for a few minutes. But that opening scene is so important in setting that whimsical tone. Every moment, every character, is intentionally fun and quirky. <br /><br />7. Scenery and costumes. Right off we’re not supposed to take anything too seriously. Even the credits sequence is silly. We are in the North Pole, but it’s clearly a set and there are what look like cut out paper snowflakes falling. It feels like the inside of a snow globe. Then we see a Jazz Snowman and other cartoon characters. It’s like Elf was born from the classic Christmas cartoon specials of the 60s, but then he travels to the real world and grows up to be a real human. He’s a Christmas Pinocchio. The Elf house at the North Pole is great, too, all the grey wood makes all the elves’ colorful costumes pop. Then Buddy creates his own Winter Wonderland at home and the department store. Again, that’s the whole movie: Will Ferrell making everything more fun and carefree.<br /><br />8. Music. The soundtrack is great, so many Christmas bangers, but more than that, music is a main element of the story. It’s how Buddy introduces himself to his biological dad (a singing telegram). It’s how he gets closer with Zooey (Baby It’s Cold Outside duet in the bathroom). And of course it’s a mantra of Santa’s elves: “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” Such a great line and ethos, and I love how they connect back to it at the climax with Zooey leading everybody singing in the street. It also shows that sometimes you gotta force the Christmas Spirit. Maybe you're not feeling it. Maybe stuff has got you down. But the beauty of this time of year is that we as a society, for many many years, have forced the joy upon each other. Get people gifts. Visit family and friends. Sing songs. Listen to joyful songs endlessly, maybe even too much. Humans have known since we have existed that this time of year needs some respite and forced joy or we wont make it through. And if you do force it, it starts to become natural. Like how forcing a smile leads to a real smile. <br /><br />9. References to Other Classics. The first and most obvious is the original Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. The opening scenes in the North Pole are a direct ode to that movie and that style of animation. There are the elves (one who feels out of place) and Santa’s workshop and the talking snowman and the singing woodland creatures. It’s a tribute to the classic but it also enhances the fish out of water aspect. When Buddy gets to Central Park and tries to pet the raccoon, he (and we) realize these aren’t the same woodland creatures from the North Pole. Then there are the references to Miracle on 34th Street. The main reference is that he works at Gimbels, Macy’s main competition in Miracle (the fact that a main setting is a department store is a reference in itself. Then there’s the mail room scene. Buddy makes friends with all the workers, which eventually makes him closer with his dad, and Kris Kringle is saved by the mailroom workers in Miracle. When Buddy cuts all the snowflakes it looks like Edward Scissorhands (another great Christmas movie). Then there’s the scene of Buddy on the bridge feeling dejected, a clear reference to the godawful It’s a Wonderful Life. Lastly, and the only knock against the movie, is the similarity to The Santa Clause. The ending of Elf, with Santa in his sleigh getting chased through a park and relying on people’s belief in him to fly, is a lot like the ending in the original The Santa Clause (a good Christmas movie). It’s fine, and it works for Elf, but…watch both and tell me they’re not extremely similar. <br /><br />10. Lines. Brilliant, hilarious lines from everyone at all times. I could just copy the whole script to show all the great lines. Even little random bits of dialogue, like when they are talking about children’s book ideas. One guy suggests, "a tribe of asparagus children, but they're self-conscious about the way their pee smells." That is objectively hilarious, and it’s just a random throwaway line. Yet, it also connects to a later scene, when Dinklage is rejecting story ideas: “tomatoes are too vulnerable”. What seem like throwaway jokes actually work together to create a unified vision of absurdity and comedy. Like the running joke that Buddy loves syrup; that’s hilarious on its own, but then the guy in the mailroom sneaks “syrup” into his coffee and gets Buddy drunk for the first time. That is funny on its own as well, but it means more because of the running joke about syrup, and it also leads directly to the conflict and eventual resolution with his dad. Absolutely brilliant. <br /><br />11. Supporting Cast. Everyone kills it. Everyone. And after multiple viewings, you catch little expressions or idiosyncrasies that fill every scene with humor. The lines are brilliant on their own, but they wouldn’t be as memorable without the timing and delivery of Zooey Deschanel and James Caan and Mary Steenbergen and Bob Newhart and friggin Ed Asner and Peter friggin Dinklage. Even Artie Lange is great as the “beef and cheese” Santa. No matter the length of the role, everyone gives a standout performance. And the kid from A Christmas Story is one of the elves at the Workshop. That’s cool.<br /><br />12. Writing. Besides the killer lines and almost perfect script, writing is a main element of the story, which I always appreciate. Buddy’s dad is a publisher, who doesn’t really care if kids’ books contain the last few pages as long as they pay for them. He is trying to come up with a story before Christmas to save the company. Buddy ends up becoming the story and saving the day. And then, in an example of life copying fiction, a real children’s book was made about Buddy the Elf. <br /><br />13. Directing. This was Jon Favreau’s second movie. Not bad for Monica’s boyfriend who wanted to fight in the UFC. This movie was so good they let him direct Iron Man even though the only other movie he had directed was Zathura. I can’t give Will Ferrell all the credit for the whimsical nature of the movie. From the decision to have cartoons in the beginning, to the musical choices, to the pacing and everything else a director oversees, this succeeds on literally every level.<br /><br /><i>I Love You All...Class Dismissed. </i></div>
Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-36322202126635145692020-03-23T21:26:00.002-04:002020-03-23T21:26:16.962-04:0013 Things I Love about The Shining<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">1. Cinematography. From the opening shot of the lake and mountain, to the last shot of a frozen Jack Nicholson and a spooky old photograph, this is such a beautiful movie. It’s definitely an Art film with a Capital A by a very serious Film Director (although Kubrick didn’t actually shoot the opening shot; never believe in the lone genius myth, it takes a village to create a masterpiece) but it’s also highly enjoyable. Everything is so perfectly orchestrated, and each shot is done with a sense of purpose, balance and mystery. The cinematography does more than just look good, too, it accentuates the themes of loneliness and despair. The opening shot is memorably gorgeous but it also imbues the viewer with a sense of dread by showing us just how isolated they are from civilization.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"> <br />2. Music. That opening shot is not only memorable for its scope and the impressive scenery, it’s actually terrifying! But how? Why? It’s just a panning shot of water and trees! Something so natural and beautiful becomes disturbing because of the intense music. The rising chords make your heart race and your skin crawl with anticipation, as if some horrible force is just out of sight. The music throughout the movie is vital to creating the tense, eerie atmosphere <br /> <br />3. Sounds. Beyond the intense music, I love all the little sounds throughout the movie. It takes place in an empty hotel in the middle of nowhere, so every sound is magnified. When Jack is “working,” the sound of the typewriter ricochets off the walls of the giant room. When he takes a “break” to toss the tennis ball, that loud “splonk” noise echoes down the empty hallways. When Danny rides around on his trike, the wheels make a different sound on the carpet than on the hard wood floors, and it takes me back to riding my Big Wheels around the house. These sounds aren’t all that important individually but they come together to create a feeling. Kubrick tries to engage with all of our senses. When scared, the tiniest sound can become a cannon shot, and that is often the sensation here. Every single sound is intensified, which heightens all of our senses and almost makes us feel like we are in the hotel. Every single aspect of the movie matters. Which brings me to…<br /> <br />4. Colors. Kubrick always creates these bizarre settings, like the Milk Bar in Clockwork Orange. The settings here are all weird and awesome, and the color schemes are incredible. The red and white bathroom where Jack talks with the former keeper is made for a horror movie. I’ve never really seen a bathroom like that, and if I did, I would assume a murderous ghost would approach me. Then there’s the infamous carpeting. The red and black pattern is hypnotic and disturbing. How is a carpet disturbing? Is it just because I’ve seen the movie several times and associate the carpet with the events of the movie, or is it objectively disturbing? Maybe both. There’s also this aggressively ugly but awesome green and purple carpeting with green and white walls in Room 237. And of course, RED RUM, and the red doors of the elevator which foreshadow the infamous scene of the blood pouring out.<br /> <br />5. Room 237. The cook, Halloran, tells Danny this room is off limits. Something bad happened here before. Later, Danny goes in. We don’t see what happens, he just shows up a few moments later in his mom’s room sucking his thumb with a ripped sweater. He tells his mom a woman tried to strangle him, so Jack checks it out. At first it’s a hot naked lady, then it’s a not hot naked old lady. This moment probably freaked me out the most as a young man watching for the first time. Talk about playing with my emotions! Room 237 is also the name of a great documentary about the many conspiracy theories surrounding The Shining. It delves into the weird but plausible theories as well as the not as plausible, but it’s a lot of fun and gives great insight into the movie regardless of whether you believe the theories. Besides that documentary, there’s also the episode of The Simpson’s that parodies The Shining (“The Shinning”) which is one of the greatest network tv episodes ever made. When a film spawns a great documentary and a classic parody, it’s something special.<br /> <br />6. Scatman Crothers! Every time I hear his name I sing in my head “Bee bop bop bada bop, bop bop bada bop…Scatman!” He plays the cook, Halloran, who shares Danny’s ability to “shine.” He tells Danny about the gift and tries to warn him about the hotel. His best moment is when he hears about the storm on the news, and gets worried about the family. He’s rocking some fly pajamas, lying on his bed in his very 70’s monochromatic room, surrounded by pictures of beautiful naked women in Afros hanging on the wall. He’s the best.<br /> <br />7. Shelley Duval. A lot of people hate on her or her performance but I think it’s perfect for the movie. First off, as far as the story itself, she is the only one who takes care of Danny, she does all of the work taking care of the hotel, and she takes care of Jack’s crazy ass. Then, she rightfully freaks out when freaky shit starts happening and her husband is clearly losing his mind. Her freakouts are key to creating the feeling of terror. She’s all alone in a giant hotel in the middle of a mountain, trying to protect her only son from her insane husband. She helps sell the true terror of that situation. I also think she’s largely in the film because of her unique look. She has a very distinctive face with lots of sharp angles, and it fits so well with the scenery and cinematography. Her sharp angles are framed by the angles of the hotel, and she becomes part of the scenery. She wears these weird outfits that simply exist for their aura and to add another element of weirdness. She’s great.<br /> <br />8. Jack Nicholson. Absolutely insane. This is his master work. He has great lines and delivers them perfectly. He also has a distinctive face, in particular his mouth, which can effectively change from an Innocent grin to a raving mad ear to ear smirk in a moment. There’s too many great lines to recount them all, but one stood out to me while watching it this time. Duval runs into his room and tells him about the woman in Room 237 who hurt Danny. He gives her this disgusted look and says, “Are you out of your fucking mind?” because there’s obviously nobody else in the hotel. This from a man who was literally just talking to a ghost before Duval came in. Even at the beginning, when he’s a seemingly normal guy, there’s this underlying creepiness due to his mannerisms and expressions. Then, when he eventually completely loses it, he is simultaneously hilarious and horrifying.<br /> <br />9. Disorientation. Kubrick keeps the audience constantly disoriented. It’s most obvious with the labyrinth. Early on, we follow Danny and his mom as they walk through, turning and backtracking, until they find the center. Then at the end, Danny loses his father in the labyrinth, where Jack meets his demise. Inside of the hotel, when we follow Danny around on his trike, the layout of the hotel doesn’t make any sense, which was on purpose. It’s like a maze. And of course, the carpeting, another optical illusion to get lost in.<br /> <br />10. Unexplained Mystery. Ambiguity is a tricky feat to pull off. There needs to be some kid of explanation to satisfy the audience’s thirst for understanding, but a little unsolved mystery can keep the audience engaged and make the story more enticing. Kubrick unsurprisingly pulls this off well. Who was that lady in room 237 exactly? We never find out. Who is that getting a blowjob from someone in a bear costume? And just WTF was that? If Jack was in the photograph from 1921, and if he “was always here” as he’s told, is this some sort of time loop? Is it a prediction? Is Jack a ghost? Are those creepy twins really there? How many people have the "Shining" and how’d they get it? We don’t know exactly, but not finding those things out doesn’t hurt the story or feel incomplete. It feels like there are just some things we’ll never know, and that’s ok because that’s life. It also allows for endless speculation, which is fun. <br /><br />11. Native American influence. One of the theories discussed in the documentary is the underlying Native American metaphor. Watching it with this in mind, it becomes glaringly obvious. Native designs (Navajo and Apache, specifically) are used heavily throughout the hotel (window curtains, paintings) and Shelley Duvall wears a ridiculous yellow coat with Native imagery. In the storage with all of the giant cans of food (all real products, with real, classic labels—it’s the little things!) there are a bunch of Calumet cans that seem to stand out from the rest. The Calumet logo is a Native in a headdress. But most importantly, we are told early on that the hotel was built on top of an “Indian burial ground,” and some workers even had to fight off Natives during construction. Well then…should’ve never messed with that burial ground, whiteys!<br /> <br />12. Themes. The most prominent themes are loneliness, creative frustration, alcoholism, and regret, all of which feed off one another, and all of which are emphasized in almost every scene. The scenery, the settings, the expressions on people’s faces…everything contributes to these motifs. The setting in particular captures a sense of loneliness and isolation in almost every shot. It's rare for a film's themes to be so well reinforced through every aspect of the film. The themes are also tangled up with the mysterious elements; did Jack start seeing ghosts because of loneliness and creative frustration, or were the ghosts really there? His wife sees the bear-man giving a guy a BJ, so were they really there, or was she losing her mind, too? Or both? <br /> <br />13. Writing. I love Stephen King, but I’m so glad Kubrick made this his own. I never read the book so I don’t know if there are major differences, but I know King hates the movie. He should get over that and let more directors change up his books for movies. Staying too close to the source can actually hurt some movies. Some of the stuff in King’s books doesn’t need to be on screen. Neither IT movie included the adolescent gang bang did they? Let’s be real, does anyone remember The Shining made-for-tv movie, which King oversaw and that more closely followed the book? No. But more than just the script, writing itself is a key plot point to the story. All of the themes stem from writing: the loneliness of writing, the frustration it can cause, the looming alcoholism, and then the regret of not doing more or being better. Regret often comes with writing because writing requires reflection, and Jack has a lot of regrets and refuses to reflect honestly. King on the other hand has spoken about his regrets, in particular his past alcoholism and drug abuse. Jack is basically a stand in for who King could’ve become, which is kinda scary for his wife and kids, but it sure made for a great character.</span><div>
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<i>I Love You All...Class Dismissed. </i></div>
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Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-23029220766060972212020-03-23T21:22:00.002-04:002020-03-23T21:26:28.221-04:0013 Things I Love about The Exorcist: A Perfect Supernatural Horror Movie<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">1. The pacing. Some might call it slow. Those people don’t understand movies. Those “slow” moments serve several purposes. They make the insane scenes more impactful. There has to be a story that properly leads up to the head spinning and projectile vomiting for those scenes to have an emotional impact beyond just disgust, something that more recent films seem to forget. Those scenes also help create an atmosphere by focusing on things like characters and setting.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />2. The settings. It opens in a holy city in northern Iraq, and they really went to a holy city in northern Iraq to shoot a total of 15 minutes of screen time. The attention to details matter. They also filmed in actual buildings at Georgetown University (the author of the book, William Peter Blatty, went to Georgetown). Also, one of the priests in the movie is a real Jesuit priest. All of those details help create a sense of realism and a tangible sense of place. That matters.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />3. The stairs. The Exorcist stairs at Georgetown walked so the Joker stairs in the Bronx could fly. Truly iconic. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />4. The music. The Exorcist theme song (a snippet from Tubular Bells) walked so the Halloween theme song could fly. Also iconic. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />5. The slow build. I’ll reiterate this: the pacing is so important. To start off, we see an old priest searching for something in Iraq. Why is he here? What does this have to do with anything? Why are the first words we hear in a movie about Christian exorcisms “allahu akbar,” part of a Muslim chant? Why are those damn dogs barking so viciously? We don’t know what the hell is going on and there’s a sense of mystery and uneasiness at all times. Then we head to America and spend some time meeting a mother and her little girl. We are told that the little girl is acting strangely and we see her going through this horrible medical procedure. Then we see her come downstairs during her mother’s dinner party and tell an astronaut, “you’re gonna die up there” right before she pees on the carpet. It’s at this point we know shit's gonna get wild. But everything so far (including this scene) has been very real, nothing supernatural yet, just hinting at it and setting the tone.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />6. Skepticism. Questioning of faith. The main priest, Father Karras, is a caring, honest portrayal of a priest/psychologist who loses his mother and starts to lose his faith. That also adds to the uneasiness; this is a man who dedicated his life to god, yet he is having doubts. He especially has doubts about the reality of exorcisms. Watching now, I think this is one of the main reasons I was drawn to this movie as a teen. That’s when I started to question and eventually lose my faith. I don’t believe in exorcisms or even god, but I could relate to a man who questioned his faith and believed in science (that’s why I loved Scully in the X-Files...and Steven in Nacho Libre). I love stories about the supernatural and appreciate the idea of the supernatural, but I relate more to people who question its existence. The whole movie is an examination of the meaning of faith and the forces of good and evil, and while the film certainly creates a sense of surrealism, it is grounded in realism, from the real settings and people, to the real emotions the characters feel in the face of the supernatural.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />7. The horrors of modern science. Regan undergoes an EEG and they stab a giant fucking needle in her throat and let blood squirt out onto her chest. Then her head is put in this old cat-scan-like machine that makes a loud knocking sound. It’s uncomfortable, distressing…it was the most disturbing part of the movie, and it had nothing to do with possessions. It was a completely realistic portrayal of a completely real procedure. Besides making your skin crawl, it also makes the audience empathize with this little girl even more than audiences normally empathize with children. It’s not like a lot of other evil child movies (like the awesome The Omen) where the kid is weird and creepy from the start. She’s a normal cute kid forced to go through this horrifying treatment. This is important once she starts flipping out. That too is something forced upon her, and like the priests do, we have to see her humanity even when she’s saying things like…</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />8. “Let Jesus fuck you!” Oh my gawd this line and scene. The first scene where the bed is knocking around is whatever. Then comes the scene where she starts flipping out, and it’s loud, and the voice is upsetting, and what this little girl is screaming is so vulgar, and the reactions from the adults are so pure…it’s just terrifying. Soon after that, she’s stabbing herself in the crotch with a crucifix and screaming “Let Jesus Fuck you” and putting her mother’s face in her bloody crotch. Jesus, man.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />9. The spider crab walk. I watched the Director’s cut, which included possessed Regan crawling upside-down/backwards down the stairs. Friedkin cut this from the original, and it makes sense (he thought it appeared too early in the movie and he hadn't set the stage yet) but I’m glad he put it back in. In this version, she stops at the bottom of the stairs and pukes blood. In the original deleted scene, she continues crabwalking toward her mother and flicking her tongue out. I like both but kinda wish they kept that original scene in.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />10. Directing style. There are several weird, unique camera angles. There is a lot of symbolism and symbols and images are flashed briefly on screen at times to increase the feeling of uneasiness. One of the most famous “flashes” is the face of a demon during the final exorcism. It’s even creepier because it’s a quick flash. You can miss it if you blink, and even if you see it, you question if it was really there.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />11. Cinematography. There are some beautiful interior and exteriro shots. One of the most iconic shots is of Father Merrin arriving by taxi, then standing under the streetlight as fog surrounds him and he looks up at the window of Regan’s room. It’s a beautiful shot in and of itself, but it is also a mirror/callback to a shot from the opening scene, in which Father Merrin finds the statue of Pazuzu. The statue is on a rock, and Merrin faces off with it as the sun glares behind them and the heat creates a visible haze. That shot foreshadows the shot of him arriving at Regan’s and becomes even more powerful. Something evil is at work here.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />12. The performances. Everyone here is great. Linda Blair came out of nowhere to make an everlasting mark on cinema. The puking and head spinning and swearing wouldn't be as effectively gross as they are without her performance. Her smirk is deliciously delirious. Ellen Burstyn proves she was killing the game long before she finally got her accolades with Requiem for a Dream. The main priest Father Karras was Stephen Miller, known more as a playwright, but he was perfect here. It helps that he studied at a Jesuit University. The old priest, Father Merrin, is played by a 44 year old Max von Sydow and his makeup is probably the worst part of the movie. But at the same time, he's meant to look old and beat up, and he certainly does.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />13. Behind the scenes insanity. One of the guys working the EEG ended up murdering someone in real life. Linda Blair and Ellen Burstyn suffered back injuries because Friedkin insisted on actually tossing them around. Burstyn damaged her coccyx in the scene where Regan slaps her because she was actually tossed to the ground by a grown man, and her scream of pain is 100% real. She was not happy with Friedkin for using the actual scream, but…it works. The 70s, baby! There are so many other stories too, like the fact they had to take Linda Blair on a promotional tour to prove to people that she wasn’t really possessed (although that itself might have been a promotional tool). One of my favorite stories is that of the voice of the demon. Blair did a lot of the voice work, often distorted with vocal effects, but Mercedes McCambridge did the demon's voice. She was a semi-retired voice actress and recovering alcoholic. When she was offered the job, she consulted with her priest about it because she felt that she could easily embody a demon when she drank. So she jumped back on the wagon, got raging drunk, started chainsmoking because she thought it made her sound even worse, had guys strap her down and put a mic in front of here, and helped create history.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>I Love You All...Class Dismissed. </i></span></div>
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Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-21276921927196787842020-01-24T17:16:00.001-05:002020-01-25T10:35:02.919-05:00The Elterich Cottage in Rhode Island<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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“Some places are like people. Some shine and some don’t.” –Dick Hallorann, The Shining</div>
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For 30 years, the Elterich Cottage in South Kingston, Rhode Island shined. A spacious house tucked away in the woods, within a short driving distance of several beaches, it served as the perfect setting for birthdays, weekends, vacations, spending time with family, partying with friends, or just getting away for a night.<br />
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I was 9 when my parents bought the house, set back a good 100 yards from Matunuck School House Road. The dirt driveway, commonly referred to as the entrance to the Batcave, took travelers on a windy path through the woods and eventually opened up to a large grass patch next to a brown, 2-story (including the basement) house and a wooden deck. The deck was massive, large enough to hold 30 years of family gatherings and parties.<br />
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A large staircase led from the main deck to a smaller deck and the front door. I always hated sweeping the leaves and sticks off the decks and stairs as a kid. It felt like half of my day was spent sweeping, although it probably took all of 10 minutes. Even on vacation, my parents made sure I understood hard work and responsibility.<br />
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I realized early on how lucky I was to have a "vacation" home. It's just not a thing most people have. It took me a little longer to appreciate my parents' openness with the house. When I was young, it felt obvious that my friends would be able to stay with me for the weekend, and go to the beach and eat burgers and fish and corn on the cob and play ping pong. But not every parent is willing to do that for their kids and kids' friends. My parents also let family and friends stay there when they weren't using it, something else a lot of people wouldn't do, not without charging a crazy amount anyway.<br />
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The stairs to the front door of the house have presented a problem in the last few years as my mother has lost the ability to walk. My dad had an electric stair chair installed, which helped for a while. Fortunately, Gremlins never toyed with it and shot my mom up into the night sky, but it was still a lot of extra work to get to a house that was supposed to provide a restful getaway.<br />
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More than that, though, maintaining a second house was just too much. We would all have loved to keep the house forever, but the reality is that it cost money and required a lot of effort from my Dad to maintain. Besides, it wasn't getting much use, certainly not enough to warrant the time, money, and effort. We're 90 minutes away, and I'm not really a huge beach guy anyway; one reason I liked the house so much growing up was that it wasn't right on the beach, crowded in with other cookie cutter cottages. My brother and his family are even further away, and the same goes for most of my family. As far as spending weekends there with a big group of friends, it's hard to get a group of friends together nearby, let alone in a different state. Plus people have kids and we're at the age where everyone wants their own bed; sleeping on the floor with some pillows next to three other guys just won't cut it anymore. It's a decent sized house, but long gone are the days when 10-12 people could stay over night comfortably.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: x-small;">Ahh, youth.</span></b></div>
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It's sad to say goodbye and not have the option of "heading down to Rhode Island" at any time, but it was a necessary step. Moving or selling a house is hard because in addition to losing the house, it feels like losing the memories, too. Every corner of every room contained multiple memories, and being there was like traveling to the past. Each visit also created new memories, stacked on top of the old ones. There was always a special energy in the house, the vibrations of all those cherished moments. Spending time there flooded me with positive feelings. Almost everyone (animals included) I've ever cared for has spent time there.<br />
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But of course, memories stay with us, whether the house (or person, or pet) is with us or not. All we can do is cherish those memories.<br />
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Although I didn't live there, the house in Rhode Island has been in my life longer than any other home. I lived with my parents in Hartford for 14 years, then West Hartford for about 11 years (my parents have been in WH for 25 years total). But I have been celebrating birthdays and Independence Days, and spending weekends and summer weeks at the house in Rhode Island for 3 decades straight.<br />
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Four generations experienced that house, albeit not at the same time. My nieces and my grandmothers both spent time there. I remember being there with my grandmother, E-Mommy, while my parents were out. I jumped off the top deck and somehow hit my chin against my knee, almost biting my tongue off. I ran in crying and she calmed me down, soothed the injury, and told me not to worry about getting in trouble. Exactly what I needed to hear.<br />
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Even the things I hated as a kid bring back positive feelings now. When we were down there on the weekend, even when my friends were there, we always had to go to church, where a guy played guitar poorly and everyone sang poorly. But that was the price we had to pay to go to the flea market (which had cheap t-shirts and baseball cards) and the beach, or to get corn on the cob and rent a movie from the local video store.<br />
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There was a local video store! I remember watching Ace Ventura over and over for an entire weekend one time with a friend. For a long time we only had basic cable, so we didn't have many options if we didn't rent a movie. I remember watching many episodes of The Commish and Father Dowling's Mysteries. We also had a ton of puzzles and board games. My two favorite were always Pictionary and Pass the Pigs.<br />
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I loved being down there with friends, or just my brother and parents. I really liked the solitude as well. I had a lot of time to myself, and I read a lot. I also explored the woods around the house, but I never went too deep because the mosquitoes were monstrous. I loved the little stream next to the house, where ducks and geese would swim by and sometimes come up to the porch for bread. Until our dog Dakota caught one. They found another stream after that.<br />
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I also got to drive my Dad's old little red moped around town. I'd spend hours riding. If a friend was down there we'd alternate between the moped and a bike. I only ran out of gas once, and only fell off once. I also burnt my leg on the exhaust once and my hair still doesn't grow there. But I'll always think of the little red moped when I think of Rhode Island.<br />
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And the ice cream shop. Tropic Frost. It just wasn't a trip to Rhode Island without stopping there. My mom had to get her black raspberry chocolate chip. I had to get a massive hot fudge sundae. That was always a great way to end a day at the beach.<br />
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Early on we put up a basketball hoop in the driveway. Even though the court was mostly dirt and stones, we made the most out of it, until it was too rotted out. We also made the most out of the ping pong table, which was lopsided when we first got it. I don't know how it lasted a weekend let alone 30 years. If you leaned on it the whole thing collapsed. But I honed my ping pong skills there and now use my superior ping pong skills to beat kids at work.<br />
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Although I never really got into it, I remember fishing with my dad. Charleston Beach has the breachway, a large rock formation jutting out into the ocean. I liked climbing and walking on that more than the actual fishing, but I appreciate my dad taking me with him and teaching me. Even if I don't take up an activity, it doesn't mean I didn't enjoy or appreciate the experience. I mostly didn't like waking up early. Even though fishing wasn't my thing, there's nothing better than eating fish right out of the ocean. I vividly remember a blackfish he caught and cooked up. Before I really got into eating fish, I always loved eating what he caught, even though I could never join him in cleaning the fish.<br />
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I always preferred crabbing to fishing. Moonstone Beach had a great spot for blue crabs. There was a small sand bridge over a lagoon, right before the beach itself. We'd stand on the bridge and drop a fishing line tied to a big chicken drumstick into the water. When we first started, we'd see a dozen crabs scurrying after the chicken. When one grabbed on, we'd slowly pull it closer until we could reach it with a net, then scoop it right out. We'd catch ten in an hour. A couple giant snapping turtles lived in there, and we scooped those bad boys up, too. We'd immediately put them back but it was cool to watch them snapping their teeth at us. In later years, we'd be lucky to catch a couple crabs the entire afternoon. Maybe we overdid it those early years.<br />
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Of course, those weren't the only type of crabs you could catch at Moonstone Beach....I think that was the first place I saw the nude body of a stranger in real life. Going to a nude beach was...not exactly the experience I imagined it would be. Mostly because the beachgoers at Moonstone tended to be members of the AARP. It was one of my first experiences learning the value of limited expectations. But I also learned to appreciate body positivity and that people are entitled to do what they want with their bodies, even if they maybe shouldn't.<br />
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As I got older, my parents trusted my friends and I with the house for occasional getaways. We always managed to respect the house while enjoying ourselves. I even willingly swept the decks! Only once, the cops were called on us. Actually, it was twice but in the same night. The vast woods around the house carry every single sound, and apparently our neighbors didn't like our sing-a-long. But we loved it.<br />
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It would have been great to always have it as an option for vacations or weekends, but we're not rich, and healthcare is an expensive, tragic joke in this country. The house wouldn't be used enough to make it worthwhile. Holding on to it just for the sake of memories isn't realistic, and it wouldn't be fair, either. Houses are for people to use, not sit empty for 350 days of the year. It's a great house and space, and hopefully some other family or group of people can make the lasting memories that we did.<br />
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So, Elterich Cottage, thanks for the memories. Mom and Dad, thanks for providing this amazing place for me and Mike to experience during our formative years, and well beyond. Family and friends, thank you all for helping to make this place special. It will be greatly missed, but it's time to move on. So it goes.<br />
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<i>I Love You All...Class Dismissed. </i></div>
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Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-54026365296937738922020-01-10T16:43:00.002-05:002020-01-27T14:22:10.175-05:00The Last Grandparent<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I never knew my grandfathers. One died before I was born, the other died shortly after. Luckily I had good relationships with my grandmothers, who lived into their 90s. But I was only 12 when my mom's mom died and 26 when my dad's mom died, so although I was lucky to have them in my life at all, I still feel like I didn't get enough time with them.<br />
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About 7 years ago, which was about 7 years after my last grandparent died, I received an unexpected gift: another grandmother. When my girlfriend Amy was sure enough about me to introduce me to the family, her own last grandparent, Pauline--Nani, immediately accepted me and loved me like only a grandmother can. I met her when she was in her late 80s, but with her short, grayish-white hair always perfectly permed, and a mind as sharp as her outfits, she looked and functioned like she was in her 60s. Whenever I saw her, she'd tell Amy and I how much she loved us and our relationship. It was always great to sit and chat with her, talking about her life growing up or about the trips Amy and I went on. Sometimes she'd complain about getting older but always with a wry sense of humor. Like many strong willed people, she seemed to resent the aging process, with the constant pain and not being able to function as she once did. Still, at 96, she was in incredible shape mentally and physically. But with that health came a sad irony: she outlived most of her family and friends. She never wallowed in despair, but she often acknowledged the loneliness she felt.<br />
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Despite the pain and loneliness of living for nearly an entire century, she seemed to relish her role as the family matriarch and she did her best to make it to every family function, where she'd always be the most highly revered guest, reminiscing with her kids and grandkids and playing with the greatgrandkids.<br />
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Recently she was diagnosed with lymphedema. Her time had come, and she was ready. Last week she began the process of entering hospice care, <a href="https://shakerfuneralhome.com/book-of-memories/4072063/Griswold-Pauline+A./" target="_blank">and early this week she passed away</a>.<br />
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I was able to visit her a few days before she died. She was still herself, but her health was beginning to decline, and she becoming tired and a little confused. Morphine was also starting to have an effect on her capabilities, but at least it was taking her pain away. As she sat and talked with Amy and I, along with Amy's parents, we asked if she wanted lunch, knowing that it very well could be her last real meal. She looked at me and said, "You know what I want? A McDonald's cheeseburger."<br />
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So the 96 year old daughter of immigrants who grew up in Hell's Kitchen ate a McDonald's burger and fries for her last meal. I have never seen anything so American. I wanted to salute her and sing the National Anthem.<br />
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In all honesty, it was a perfect meal for the situation. Although I haven't eaten McDonald's in a while, it still reminds me of childhood, when a visit to McDonald's with the family was a special treat. McDonald's has gotten a bad rap over the years, and rightfully so. People eat it because it's quick and cheap, and it's undoubtedly contributed to the obesity epidemic, but it's an undeniable cultural marker and a part of most Americans' lives (maybe even most humans in general now). The meals can be very tasty, but I think we taste nostalgia more than the food itself. Food has the ability to bring us back to a specific time and place and emotion. The burger or chicken nugget is just a delivery system for joyful memories and feeling like a kid again. Nani didn't necessarily want a cheap burger, she wanted the memories of eating McDonald's with her family and friends throughout her life. It's called comfort food for a reason, and at this point, comfort was her number one priority.<br />
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I have many positive memories involving McDonald's, and now I can add one more very special memory to the list.<br />
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After eating, Nani made sure to tell us how much she loved Amy and I. She had also become somewhat close with my mom over the last few years, a bond formed by their battles with deteriorating health. She told me to give my mom her love and reminded me to always speak to my mom from my heart, a line so perfect it felt like dialogue from a Pulitzer Prize-winning novel.<br />
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She cried a bit, and it was clear she was afraid, but more than anything she was ready. I have never been so close to someone who knew they were dying soon. I know how emotional it was for me, so I can only imagine how it was for her. I don't think everyone has her strength in their final days. Having lived a good life helps with accepting death, I suppose. She had previously said that she was ready to die, but it was now an impending reality, and death is still the great unknown. Her mental capacities were working enough to know that death is scary regardless how prepared she was. But she was ready, and I only hope I can ever be as brave.<br />
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It's said that people often wait for "permission" from loved ones to finally let go; maybe that's the case, but she was not exactly the type to ask "permission." It felt more like she was satisfied with her life and ready for death, and she wanted her family to be ready as well. She waited for Christmas and the New Year (she made it 11 decades!). She waited until most family members saw her one last time, then she went on her own terms, surrounded by family. That's the best anyone can ask for, and it's what she deserved.<br />
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I only knew her for a few years, but I'm so grateful to have had her in my life. Everyone should get the opportunity to spend more time with a grandparent, especially one like her.<br />
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Goodbye, Nani, my last grandmother. You will be missed.<br />
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<i>I Love You All...Class Dismissed. </i></div>
Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-41967005037099770002020-01-05T17:16:00.002-05:002020-01-05T17:16:55.332-05:00Prof Thuggy's Movie Reviews<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I have written some movie reviews on this blog over the years and it's always fun, and I've always meant to do more, or at the very least, write personal journals or notes about movies, but I never motivated myself to do it. I generally watch movies for enjoyment, a way to relax, and although reviewing movies is fun, it's also a chore. Sometimes motivation needs to come from an outside source; money is a big motivator, but that's not happening for online movie reviews. Sometimes, the necessary motivation can come from something even simpler, like new technology or an app on your phone.<br />
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Letterboxd is an app that lets you easily rate and review any movie, and connects you with other people doing the same. Since I downloaded it in October, I've reviewed every movie I've watched. I hope people are enjoying reading the reviews as much as I enjoy writing them, but honestly I'm gonna keep doing them either way, you can't stop me!<br />
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I don't know why the app has motivated me so much. I could have easily logged into this site or opened the Notes app on my phone and reviewed any movie. I think a lot of little elements came together perfectly to finally overcome my laziness.<br />
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There's the social aspect of Letterboxd. There's a sense of "community" and it's easy to share reviews and find other people's reviews (although the interface could be a lot better). A lot of comedians and historians or just funny, knowledgeable people share their takes on movies. It's an easy to use writing app with a comprehensive movie database. Cast and crew, ratings, reviews, anything you want to know about a movie.<br />
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I love the simple 5 Star rating system that lets you easily compare your feelings about a movie to the public's. There's also a "like" button, which is an important distinction from a rating. My ratings aren't based completely on whether I "like" a movie or not. I don't like some very well made movies, but I like some very shitty movies. The "like" button gives a simpler yet more absolute take on the film. Did you enjoy the thing or not? I don't enjoy most 1-2 star movies, but I can definitely appreciate an over the top terrible 1-2 star movie with objectively horrible special effects, a dumb story, and awful acting (like Halloween 3). I may give a well made movie a 3 but I might not "like" it because it's dull or derivative or directed by Woody Allen. Or maybe it's not a genre that I overly enjoy; a beautifully made romantic period piece probably won't get more than a 3 and a half stars from me at best. Then again, I can appreciate most types of movies, from Citizen Kane to Road House (the Citizen Kane of redneck bar brawl movies) and I take into consideration the genre and the purpose of a movie when rating. There are different scales for different genres. I won't rate Dumb and Dumber on the same scale as Dunkirk because they have vastly different purposes. If a comedy succeeds at being funny, it gets a good rating. If a psychedelic mystery thriller succeeds at being trippy and mysterious and fun, it gets a good rating. Then there's horror. The quality of a horror film isn't just based on whether it's scary. A Nightmare on Elm Street is undoubtedly a classic and it's not scary at all. It's uniquely absurd. A horror movie can be considered a classic if it's really scary or creepy, or if it creates an interesting, unique mythos, or if it's extra gory, or if the special effects are really good, or if the special effects are reallly bad, or if it's purposely funny, or non-purposely funny. Horror is the most subjective of all genres. I think originality is the most important thing for a horror movie. It doesn't even need to be a completely original story, sometimes just an original spin on a story, or even an original spin on one part of a story, is enough. Shit, even if it's completely unoriginal but the story is told well, that can be a solid horror movie. Like the remake of Texas Chainsaw in 2003. Horror fans don't ask for much, and sadly, Hollywood still barely meets expectations.<br />
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Ultimately, I try to take in to account my personal feelings about the movie as well as the technical achievements of the film, like the acting, writing, special effects, cinematography, soundtrack, what have you, so I would never give something a 4 or 5 that I don't actually "like."<br />
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I put a lot of thought into my reviews and ratings. I agonize over a half star. But I'm doing that for myself. I don't care if I'm "right" or if anyone agrees. I try to use my knowledge of films and film history and the fundamentals of storytelling to inform my reviews and ratings, but I am mainly trying to clarify and document my own feelings for each movie I watch, so I rate movies by simply trying to compare each one to every other movie I've ever seen.<br />
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And let's be honest, I'm getting to that age where I don't remember every detail of every movie I've ever seen, and sometimes even main aspects of a movie, so this also serves as a reminder. Now to be fair, it's not all age, I've also seen a lot of movies in the last 40 years. I've read a lot of books, watched a lot of shows...it's hard to keep all this shit straight!<br />
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I also like the thought of having these reviews to read in the future. If I rewatch a movie I want to reread my review because something I love now might seem shitty in 10-20 years, like most 80's comedies. </div>
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Most of all, reviewing movies is plain old fun. It's just talking movies, man! Show your appreciation, repeat your favorite lines, make fun of the actors, acknowledge some little unimportant but cool thing one of the actors did or maybe some little special effect failure that ruined the whole movie, try to figure out deeper meanings of the story, point out connections between other movies. I love telling people about good movies. The only thing I like more is telling people about bad movies. I also love arguing about movies. It's fun to disagree about whether a movie is good or shitty or The Best Movie of The Decade or The Worst Thing I've Ever Seen because...it literally doesn't matter. It's all entertainment. It's all opinion. It's the best type of argument because there can be no right or wrong. We can watch the exact same thing and even have the exact same understanding of it, and yet we can come to the exact opposite conclusion as far as whether it was "good" or not. I know some things about cinema and history and literature that help me appreciate and understand movies, but my opinion doesn't mean more than anyone else's. When it comes down to it, you like what you like, I like what I like and it doesn't matter, and we're both right. People get upset sometimes because we often identify closely with the entertainment we enjoy, so someone calling your favorite show garbage feels like someone calling you garbage. I assure you, it's not the same. Unless we're talking about the Big Bang Theory. That's a garbage show for garbage people.<br />
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But I'm thankful for Letterboxd, another technological innovation that has improved my life. We focus so much on the negative when it comes to technology. We either fantasize about technology taking over society and enslaving, or we complain about every new invention rotting the brains of the younger generation, even as adults use the same things. Think about what different technologies have allowed us to do throughout the ages, and think abut the backlash to each new invention. Internet and smartphones are "ruining" the youth now, but typewriters, calculators, even watches were all going to bring about the end of civilization. And while there certainly can be harmful elements to any technology (hello, guns!) most technology has served its purpose to vastly improve practical functions. I can write a lot more effectively and efficiently on a computer than with a pen or on a type writer. Hell, even guns keep getting better at their main function: killing.<br />
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Technology also gets blamed for influencing bad behavior because of ease of access. Again, that certainly holds true for guns, but think about porn as well (guns and porn, this is my most American post yet!). While porn was always huge, more people than ever can watch it or participate in it because the internet. Now, there's the whole argument about whether porn is "bad behavior" or not, but that's for another time. Regardless, I think technology influences behavior in positive ways more so than negative. Technology can provide a stimulant to act because of the ease of function, and while that may lead to more porn, it can lead to more creative writing or research or even healthier living. I'm doing these reviews now because it's easier than it's ever been, and I started exercising more recently because I found a cheap yet quality stationary bike that I can easily ride while watching movies on Netflix on the big screen in my living room . Thanks, scientists and engineers!<br />
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If you want to join the fun, download Letterboxd or visit their website. Follow me, Prof Thuggy, at <a href="https://letterboxd.com/realearl13/">https://letterboxd.com/realearl13/</a><br />
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<i>I Love You All...Class Dismissed. </i></div>
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Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-61492560860228747352019-07-19T17:22:00.004-04:002019-07-19T17:22:42.776-04:009 Albums That Built Me<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">The hashtag #9goodalbums was going around social media a while back and I figured I'd finally give it a whirl. This list is supposed to contain 9 good albums that "built me," and generally I stay away from these things because I hate limiting my influences/favorites. 9 spots could never actually cover the albums that had a major impact on me. Inevitably, a few great ones are left off, but so be it. Gotta start somewhere.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">The following albums are mostly from my youth. There have been incredible albums in the last 20 years, but I've found that with most people (myself included) the most "influential" music is generally that which you first fall in love with.</span><br />
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<b>Motley Crue - Girls Girls Girls</b></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">A "Best of The Beach Boys" cassette is one of my earliest memories of music. I think it was my parents' tape, but I grew very attached to it. I loved their intense positivity and vocal harmonizing. It always felt like I was being whisked away to a California beach when I listened to them. I even had a Beach Boys windbreaker. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">My Dad also had several "Best of Motown" cassettes, with the greatest hits from each year of Motown's heyday. Between that and listening to the Oldies station on the radio during long car rides, I was exposed to a lot of older music, which I'm very thankful for. As I grew up, I was able to see the influence on current music, and even recognize some samples and reconfigured melodies.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Most of the stuff I listened to as a very young kid could be described as "pretty" and melodic. Then came Motley Crue. I saw a video (probably Smoking in the Boys Room, from their previous album) and it opened up a whole new world of possibilities. It was the anti-establishment, don't give a fuck attitude I didn't even know I needed. These were hard rocking, long haired weirdos with motorcycles and girls all around them, the essence of cool to a prepubescent boy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I loved Motley Crue for a while. They rocked out, they had singable hits, they were fucking crazy...Nikki Six was literally dead from a heroin overdose, paramedics revived him, and he went right back for more heroin! That's a rock star!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I don't think I was even "into" girls when this came out, but this album let me know that liking girls was cool. It also told me that long hair, leather, motorcycles, and smoking in the boy's room were cool, but somehow, those things never caught on with me.</span><br />
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<b>DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - He’s the DJ, I'm The Rapper </b></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">This album changed my musical direction for good. I had enjoyed some rap songs before this point. I liked Run DMC, some Biz Markie, Tone Loc. But I was still mostly into Motley Crue and Van Halen. When this album and its videos came out, hip hop took over my musical preferences completely.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Will's charisma and humor always got the spotlight, which coincided with the larger trend in hip hop of MCs starting to take the spotlight from the DJs, who were always top billing up to this point. Technically, Jeff even had top billing in this group, and with good reason: he was a phenomenal, one-of-a-kind DJ. Without his backing, Will Smith may never have been the global megastar he is today. The Fresh Prince persona brought people in, but Jeff kept them coming back. Despite the success of Will's solo music career, the quality of his later music just never compared to his Fresh Prince days.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">This album has the obvious hit singles (Parents Just Don't Understand, Nightmare on My Street) but the album cuts are the true gems. Here We Go Again, Brand New Funk, Charlie Mack - First Out the Limo. Insanely fun jams that still hold up. Then there was Human Video Game with Ready Rock C doing beatbox versions of Sanford and Sons underwater....just awesome stuff. Live at Union Square gives a good glimpse of how well Will and Jeff rocked a crowd, and how well they represented the fundamental elements of hip hop.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">As silly and "commercial" as Fresh Prince could be, this album is truly iconic, a highlight of 80s hip hop that withstands the test of time.</span></div>
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<b>Leaders of the New School - A Future Without a Past</b></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">This was an incredibly influential album in my life, which I purchased because I thought Scenario was on it. I ended up buying The Low End Theory for Scenario, and that is one of my favorite albums of all time (which I didn't include here <a href="https://spovenweedlepresents.blogspot.com/2016/10/diggin-in-cassettes-low-end-theory.html">because I talked about it enough already</a>) so it all worked out, and I learned two things: always check the track list, and you can never go wrong when Busta Rhymes is involved.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Similar to Fresh Prince, these guys were funny as hell. This album took on some serious issues (Just When You Thought It Was Safe, Too Much on My Mind), but always with a smirk and a snap about your mother. They all had their own identity and style, but on this album everything meshed perfectly. There's a 12 minute outro where they thank people in their lives and shout out other rap groups, and I could still sit and listen to the whole thing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">A few years later, Busta Rhymes began his ascent to hip hop superstardom. Sadly, they only have one other album together, which is also good. I always loved Busta (he blew my mind on Scenario) but Chalrie Brown may have been my favorite. Pinocchio's Theory is such a bizarre and awesome song. And Dinco D is still underrated.</span><br />
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<b>Gang Starr - Daily Operation</b></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I heard Take it Personal on BET Rap City and I was transfixed. How could this mellow, smooth-voiced short dude sound so menacing? My head was bobbing uncontrollably and I wanted to hit someone over the head with a pool cue for stuntin on me. The scratches on the chorus were beautiful; besides Jazzy Jeff, I had never heard scratching sound so majestic. The beat was hypnotizing, with those interjecting piano keys looped throughout.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Then I heard Ex Girl to the Next Girl, with those horns? I had to have the tape.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">But there was a problem. It had an Explicit Lyrics sticker (Thanks Tipper Gore!) and I was 11 years old. When I went to the mall with the family, I split off and went to Sam Goody, where I quickly purchased it (thanks, non-caring Sam Goody employees!) with the money I made weed whacking. Then I carefully peeled off the sticker before showing it to my parents. Honestly though, it was barely explicit. It had a few swears, but I think labels were just tossing stickers onto every rap album.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">This album also introduced Jeru the Damaja and Group Home, artists I loved for a while. Gang Starr made a couple classics after this (Hard to Earn, Moment of Truth) but there's a special place in my heart for this album.</span><br />
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<b>Wu-Tang Clan - Enter the Wu-Tang: 36 Chambers</b></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Whew. Enter the Wu-Tang. What the hell was this? Do people understand what it was like to hear this album in 1993? Like nothing I had heard before.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I heard M.E.T.H.O.D. Man a few times, including once at a roller skating jam at Bulkeley High School that my mom must've been chaperoning because I was still in middle school. It was cool, and Meth had that star charisma, but it didn't stand out that much. But then came Mystery of Chessboxin. The video. The beat. The lyrics. Mindblowing. It was like the comic books I loved and kung fu movies I had seen on Saturday afternoons coming together to create an atomic bomb of awesomeness. They had the same attitude and vibe as Motley Crue, except with timbs, jeans, and hoodies instead of leather pants and long hair. They had the same energy and cohesiveness as Leaders of the New School and A Tribe Called Quest. There were so many different styles and voices that you were bound to connect with at least one.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">This album was hard as hell, but what often gets overlooked by hip hop albums deemed "gangster" or "street" is the humor. Try not to laugh during the "torture" skit. The Coen Brothers can barely do dark humor that well (one of my favorite movies ever is Fargo, which came out 3 years after this). There is wit and a dark humor throughout the album that better illuminates the tragic realities these guys were exposing. And the music...the grittiness, the grooves, the sound effects....everything combined to create this pure, unique musical experience that has still never been matched.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Their next album is also a classic (and the two after that are good) and several of the members have classic solo albums, but nothing could ever match this album's impact and appeal. Soowoo! </span></div>
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<b>Redman - Dare iz a Darkside</b></div>
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This is one of my all time favorite albums and Redman's entire persona and discography is hugely influential to me.<br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">From the album cover (a reference to Funkadelic, which I didn't even get until years later) to the red cassette tape, to Redman's frenetic energy, absurdist humor, and magnetic charisma, I can't say enough about this. It came out my freshman year of high school which was not a good year for me overall. Redman provided me with a much needed release. I could lose myself every time I put on my headphones and listened. But I could also find myself. Thanks to Redman and especially this album, I realized I could be different and weird and upend expectations. This was a departure from his previous album (which is also great) and was met with a lot of skepticism and criticism. But the music and the man were undeniable. This was who he was and the music he wanted to make, and you were going to love it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">After this album, he made several more classics, which sold even better, and he shot to superstardom with Method Man. When Redman made it, I felt like a part of me had made it. I mean, watch his Cribs episode and tell me you don't love that guy and want to root for him forever.</span><br />
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<b>Outkast - Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik</b><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">For a while, I didn't want to believe Southern rappers were good. I liked Geto Boys but that was about it. Hell I barely gave West Coast rap a fair shot. Nothing could beat the East Coast!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Then came Andre and Big Boi, putting all that to rest. Their accents and their vibe and the local references I didn't quite understand drew me in. All of a sudden, the notion that geography mattered when it came to music seemed absurd. At 13/14 years old, "cool" meant more than anything, and these motherfuckers were cool. They had taken the mantle from Motley Crue and rock stars. They even made Atlanta Braves gear seem cool and I hate the Braves!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">They, Andre especially, grew increasingly weird over the next albums (all verifiable classics) but the quirkiness was apparent here. They embraced their black, Southern culture completely and wore it as a badge of honor. And they were so cool and confident that the mainstream had no choice but to embrace them eventually.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I love all their albums (except the Idlewild soundtrack, which was still decent) but this and Aquemini are by far the most influential. Aquemini was a staple at college. They had grown so much as artists and people, yet the're chemistry together was even better; they were diving deeper into personal and social issues, and they were even weirder. To be honest, I could have put Atliens or Stankonia here, too. </span>But this is where it all started, so it gets the nod.<br />
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<b>Mobb Deep - The Infamous</b></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I was 14/15 years old, unhappy at school, going through puberty...I needed something, I didn't even know what it was. It turns out, I needed two teenagers from Queensbridge to make one of the most sinister, neck-breaking, face-punching hip hop classics of all time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Mobb Deep had Outkast's coolness but with a side of menace. There wasn't much quirkiness or humor either. This shit was dark. The beats somehow made you want to simultaneously zone out and think about the meaning of life while punching everyone who ever wronged you. I refused to wear any boots besides Timberlands for a decade because of this album. This album sounds like a harsh winter spent in an alley playing cee-lo for shots of Hennessey. This album sounds like teens working through depression in an unbelievably harsh environment...because that's what it was. And it is beautiful. </span><br />
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<b>Danny Brown - XXX</b><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><img alt="Image result for danny brown xxx" height="400" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/ec/XXX_Danny_Brown.jpg/220px-XXX_Danny_Brown.jpg" width="400" /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I had to put this on here because this album was the beginning of a new era in hip hop to me. The late 2000s were particularly slow/weak for hip hop. There were some solid acts out there, and some veterans still making good music, but it had grown pretty stagnant. I had gotten really into downtempo/trip hop/instrumental acts like Bonobo and Blockhead. Rappers were starting to bore me. It was on Blockhead's blog where I first heard of Danny Brown. Blockhead was raving about him. I then saw a few other blog posts doing the same, and I finally checked him out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">He was definitely unique. I didn't take to his music right away, and I think he purposely makes it not easily accessible, especially beginning with this album. But I dug his originality and wit and overall vibes. Then I gave this album a focused listen, and it finally hit me. This was what and who I had been waiting for for a decade, at least since ODB passed, or since the last proper Outkast album dropped. Hip hop had life again. Excitement. It was breaking boundaries.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">During the recording of this album, Danny was dealing with turning 30 and reflecting on his life...at the same time I was turning 30. I can't exactly say I lived a similar life, but I could definitely relate to the emotions he was expressing about getting older, worrying about running out of time, worrying about whether he'd ever be good enough, etc.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Plus he was just funny as hell. And once I got used to his high pitched yelp, I could hardly listen to any artist with a regular voice anymore.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Although Danny was 30 and had been making music for years, he was still part of a "new school" of rappers that I discovered around this time. After hearing XXX, I wanted to check out what other new artists were doing, and I discovered Schoolboy Q and Black Hippy, Roc Marciano, Freddie Gibbs (all artists who Danny has worked with). My faith in hip hop was restored. Thanks Danny!</span><br />
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<i>I Love You All...Class Dismissed. </i></div>
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Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-39858992609646402902019-01-23T16:58:00.002-05:002019-01-24T16:09:02.676-05:00Reactions, Retractions, and Re-reactions<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
So we've all seen the videos of the MAGA kids and the Native American man in DC, then we've all seen the pushback claiming we didn't see what we saw, then maybe you saw the main kid making the rounds on TV saying he has nothing to apologize for, or you saw Trump tweeting they did nothing wrong. The entire incident is mind-numbing and such a perfect microcosm of the bullshit we've all endured for the past 2 and a half years.<br />
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Let me start with this: in my opinion, the longer videos change nothing. The MAGA *cough cough Klan cough* hat wearing kids were disrespectful and mocked the Native. The initial angry response to the incident was a response to that, and the fact remains that many people see it as disrespectful. But, "disrespect" is a matter of opinion. Maybe you saw the kids' actions as racist and disrespectful, maybe you saw their actions as simply typically assholeish for a group of kids, or, maybe you didn't see them as disrespectful at all. I don't see how that's possible, but it's still all a matter of opinion.<br />
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And yes, there was more to the story, and more is added to the story every day because as a society we'd rather focus on shit like this than something more meaningful. Part of it is that we feel helpless to change meaningful things (all of my calls to Senators and angry videos have done nothing to end our government's treatment of immigrants or our multiple wars) so we rant and rave about shit like this. And here I am, still doing it. But I think that as ridiculous as the whole situation is and how far out of hand it has gotten, the incident is illuminating, and I'll try to make my final say right here.<br />
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First off, there was a group of Black Israelites harassing everybody there. Black Israelites are out of their minds in general and they were definitely in the wrong here. As anyone who has walked past them in NYC or any other major city, the best way to deal with them spouting nonsense is to ignore and walk on by. They initiated the entire problem, and that is important to understand, but again, doesn't change anything.<br />
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Secondly, some people responding to the initial videos absolutely took it too far. There is no reason to post these kids' names and addresses online. For what? Are you going to go harass kids? Threaten them? They were being little shits, they didn't hurt anybody. I'm all for protesting at Mitch McConnell's house, he's a public official doing harm with his policies, but you don't harass and threaten dickhead kids. You make a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0JRLjsSjmk&t=0s&list=PLrO_wlBDAq_PIpbY1Iot4My66JWyZrXV9&index=86">video yelling at them and keep it moving</a>!<br />
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Thirdly, there is a larger societal problem with people reacting to things without fully thinking them through or knowing the whole situation. On social media there is an imperative to be the first to say or post something, which means a lot of people don't fully verify what they are saying or posting. Of course, that's usually what goes viral, not the facts. However, the facts of this incident don't change my response to the kids' behavior.<br />
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Fourthly, the media and people on social media did get some things wrong. Many people thought Nathan Phillips was just sitting there and the kids surrounded him. That didn't happen (that certainly would have been worse). Some outlets called him a Vietnam vet (I did as well) but he said he was a Vietnam-era vet in his interview. CNN then ran with "Vietnam Vet." Hey, maybe Trump is right about CNN being shitty? *insert broken clock metaphor*<br />
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So now for the incident in question. Nathan Phillips was there for an Indigenous People's March, and the MAGA kids were there for a March for Life. They both had a right to be there. (There's a whole other article to be written about Catholic schools letting kids wear political paraphernalia on a school sanctioned trip, and the fact that Catholic schools bus in kids for an anti-abortion event, but that's for another time.) Black Israelites were there (maybe for the March for Life? they actually hold beliefs that align much closer with Trumpers than liberals or any other group) to start shit, because that's what they do wherever they go.<br />
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As I see it, Nathan Phillips walks up between the two groups (MAGA and the Black Israelites) to diffuse things which seemed to be getting out of hand. Some people think he never should've done that, but that's what peacemakers do, take initiative before things get worse. No other adults were being responsible, so he took it upon himself. He's clearly not aggressive (unless you really hate drums, I guess). Now, the main kid (Smug Smirker) claims he was personally trying to diffuse things. So he stood in Phillip's face smirking while the rest of the kids chanted and laughed and acted like asshole kids. It's certainly possible Smug Smirker wasn't trying to disrespect him, but that's exactly how it looks, and many other kids are actively mocking Phillips, so it's hard to separate one possibly non-disrespectful kid from a group of his disrespectful friends right behind him.<br />
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It’s also impossible to disconnect the MAGA hats from what it has come to represent. History and culture and politics frame the situation,which is what mostly caused the outrage. The kids can claim they're not racist (despite mocking Natives) but the hat is definitely a symbol of racism. People have literally used the words “Trump” and “MAGA” to taunt minorities across the country (and a study showed that areas that voted for <a href="https://www.npr.org/2019/01/09/683177489/virginia-study-finds-increased-school-bullying-in-areas-that-voted-for-trump">Trump saw an increase in bullying in schools</a>). Also, Trump’s policies are directly harmful to minorities, including Natives. Not to mention, Trump himself constantly insults people, even using Native names as insults. Teens and kids may not make those connections, but it’s the same as wearing confederate flags on their clothes: they might not fully understand the implications but that doesn’t erase the implications. I'm sure part of wearing the hat is being seen as rebellious (although supporting a guy who controls the federal government is not exactly rebellious) but it’s not like they're wearing a weed shirt or an offensive band name. MAGA means something specific. Trump has been consistently racist throughout his life and as President, and if you search #MAGA on Twitter, its not exactly a bunch of people talking about equality and world peace. So for most people, its impossible to separate all that hate and actual harmful policy from a kid wearing a MAGA hat.<br />
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I know many people treat politics like a reality show or sports and just cheer on their “team”, so to them, getting offended by a MAGA hat just means you're too sensitive and they "won" somehow. But politics actually affects people. People aren't upset by the obnoxiously ugly hat, they're offended by the obnoxiously ugly policies and worldview it represents. Kids acting like obnoxious brats wearing that hat is an ugly spectacle, and again, none of the longer videos or hand-wringing articles change that.<br />
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Let's give the kids the benefit of the doubt and say they weren't trying to be racist (<a href="https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/covington-catholic-black-paint/">despite the school's history of racism</a>). It doesn't change they fact that they were being little dickheads. And not understanding how white privilege works doesn't mean you don't benefit from it. These little white kids, even with chaperones from a Catholic school there with them, are allowed to be little dickheads with no recourse. In fact, not only are they allowed to act like that, their actions are then defended by their parents and the entire right wing media industry. The smug smiles and laughter just symbolize that white privilege that they will always be able to use to belittle people with no accountability. I don’t like to always compare and say “what if this was a group of black kids” but in this case I think it’s enlightening to picture that. A group of minority kids surrounding a white veteran and acting like dicks would have brought the National Guard out. Laura Ingraham would still be ranting and raving about the failure of the entire black culture.<br />
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So that's my reaction and response to the initial situation. The kids were acting like dicks and were representative of the shitty behavior of the political movement they support.<br />
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But of course the story didn't stop there. Conservative media was not going to let these white kids get ridiculed and judged! It's not like they were in a school shooting or something: it's perfectly okay to <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect/wp/2018/03/26/how-the-parkland-teens-became-villains-on-the-right-wing-internet/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.329fd51e6206">mock school shooting survivors, or even call them actors</a>! It's not like they were killed by a racist loser, <a href="https://www.thenation.com/article/conservative-media-smears-trayvon-martin/">it's perfectly ok to mock that dead kid</a>, too!<br />
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An avalanche of defenders came through immediately. There was a longer video that claimed to tell a different story (it doesn't) and right wing media sites published articles about how the media got it wrong again (it's hilarious to me how right wing media outlets claim that they are not a part of the mainstream media. Guys, when you have White House press credentials, YOU ARE THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA! Fox News still claims its not part of mainstream media, and it gets the highest ratings!). Then, because mainstream media is obsessed with "both sides-ing" every single situation no matter how obviously one-sided something is, they all published articles claiming that "we all rushed to judgement!" (we didn't). CNN was on the front lines pushing back against criticism of the kids. Of course, CNN neglected to mention that the Smug Smirker kids' parents hired a PR firm started by a CNN pundit. Whatever! The story now became "Media got it wrong! White kids can't be racist!"<br />
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Other media sites were quick to publish a retraction so they could claim to be objective: "We show both sides of the story, you can trust us!" they all rushed to say. Except, this "non-biased objectivity" doesn't always lead to the truth. Think of the Obama birther conspiracy. Instead of just saying it's bullshit, mainstream media always framed it as "many people think that Obama was not born in the US" because they didn't want to upset crazy conservatives. In this incident, they rushed to say there was more video, but didn't explain how that changed anything. They just wanted to cut off any criticism for "not showing the whole story."<br />
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So the kid is now making the rounds on the talk shows, and the President himself chimed in (of course) to say that media is the enemy of the people. He even invited them to the White House! Sarah Sanders said she's never seen people try to ruin kids lives like they did with these kids from Covington. This is a woman who works for an administration that tore toddlers away from their parents and locked them up in cages. This is a woman who works for a man who called for the execution of <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2016-election/donald-trump-says-central-park-five-are-guilty-despite-dna-n661941">5 black teens despite them being found innocent</a>. Spare me the tears over these asshole kids.<br />
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All of this just serves to solidify the issue that most people had with these kids in the first place. We knew, (just like they know) that these kids would always have this cloak of invincibility, the white privilege that would defend their right to act like assholes. That is what the "smirk heard round the world" symbolized: "We're gonna do whatever we want and we'll get away with it; in fact, we'll be considered the victims." And here we are.<br />
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Even many liberals are buying into this new narrative because they don't want to be seen as biased (this is a weakness that conservative media always exploits: conservatives are not concerned with bias in their favor). They also want to believe that these kids couldn't be that bad. They want to believe that the younger generation will always be more progressive. They also see their own kids in these kids. Revising the story reassures them that these kids weren't actually all that bad. They need to believe that everyone is redeemable. Well, I believe that kids are redeemable, but only if they are taught how they were wrong in the first place. That's not happening here, and it's also a larger problem in society. We seek to forgive people before they've actually earned our forgiveness.<br />
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Since we're all taking a deep dive into this story to remove any "bias," let's keep diving. Take the reaction of one of the parents: they immediately blamed “black Muslims.” Again, the Black Israelites were in the wrong, but its says a lot about people who can't distinguish religions and label a fringe Christian/Hebrew religion as "Muslim." It says something about the mentality of the parents, which is reflected in the kids. (The story I linked to earlier about the school's basketball fans in blackface also says a little about their mentality: some people really don't see blackface, or saying the n-word, or doing tomahawk chops at a Native, as racist.) There were also videos showing the same MAGA kids harassing girls. But we don't need to know any of that to know that what they did in the original video was wrong.<br />
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I think a lot of people deserve criticism here (the Black Israelites, parents, kids, chaperones) but it’s interesting to me how quick people are to excuse the actions of young white men, whereas minority teens are held to adult standards (<a href="https://www.diversityinc.com/news/black-hispanic-minors-likely-tried-adults-whites">minorities are charged as adults way more often than white kids</a>). That's actual racism, but to many white people, there's a belief that being called racist is on par with actual racism.<br />
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These kids act like assholes, then act like victims and say they have nothing to apologize for, and their parents and entire media outlets agree. On the one hand, they say kids need time to grow and learn from mistakes, on the other hand they're saying these kids made no mistakes. Which is it? I absolutely think kids need to have room to make mistakes and learn, but the problem is, judging by their response and their parents’ response, they will never learn. They did nothing wrong, people judged them wrongly for it, now they are the victims: that's the lesson they're taking.<br />
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If you take all politics and history out of the situation (I mean, you can't and shouldn't do that, but let's do it for sake of argument) it's just a bunch of kids being asshole kids. Shitty, but not enough to become a viral video or to write an article about. The situation became bigger because history and politics and culture do matter and are involved in every situation whether we recognize it or not. There's a reason people get offended by a white guy saying the n-word and not a black guy. That's because of history and culture and politics. One is acceptable and one is not. A white guy can certainly try to go around saying it and using black people's use of the word as a defense (some guys do!) but most people will see him as the clueless dickhead that he is. These white kids can say they were just laughing and chanting and staring at a Native man while they’re all wearing MAGA hats, but to most people who have paid any attention to what Trump has done, the MAGA hat itself is a provocation. <br />
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So I do think it’s important to look at the whole picture and situation before judging, and in this situation, the more I look at it and look at the history and politics that are intertwined in the moment, it still pisses me off even more. The more I look at the media's reaction, the less hope I have for Truth in the future.<br />
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But yeah, the kids lives shouldn’t be destroyed, and they wont be. I can't wait to watch Smug Smirker's inevitable daily show with Tomi Lahren!<br />
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<i>I Love You All...Class Dismissed. </i></div>
Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-13350880013392186802018-11-30T13:56:00.001-05:002018-11-30T13:56:32.925-05:00The Arnold Palmer part 7<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Read the previous chapter here:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="https://spovenweedlepresents.blogspot.com/2017/05/the-arnold-palmer-part-6.html?m=0" target="_blank">Part 6</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>---Begin part 7</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Steve pulled into his apartment complex, tires screeching as he sped around the curb and into his designated spot. He parked the car and jumped out, leaving his keys in the ignition and the car running. As he slammed the door, he realized his mistake and looked at the closed door in horror. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">"No, no, no, no," he said, but deep down he knew the door would be locked. He began to feel panic creep up the back of his neck. He almost let out a violent scream and was a moment from kicking the car when he reached for the handle and pulled the door open. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">"Oh," he said, looking at the open door in confusion. "Ok." This act, forgetting to turn off his car and keys, somehow seemed like the highlight of his day simply </span>because it didn't turn out to be as bad as it could have<span style="font-family: inherit;">. He turned off the car, grabbed his keys, slammed the door, hit the alarm, and sprinted to his apartment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">He nearly ran over his neighbor carrying a garbage bag to the dumpster in the parking lot. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">"Whoa!" the older man said as he jumped out of the way. "Watch it!" </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">"Sorry!" Steve sputtered. "So sorry, man. Been a long day." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">"No problem," the man said. "I know exactly what you mean. This morning I..." he stopped mid-sentence as Steve sprinted away. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">"In a rush, have a good one!" Steve yelled behind him. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">"You, too," the man said, then, under his breath he added, "jerk."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Steve turned the key in the lock and shoved open the door to the apartment complex. He ran past the mailboxes, then stopped for a moment, thinking maybe he should get his mail. Then he thought about all the bills waiting for him and continued on his way. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">"They're not going anywhere," he muttered. His day had been long enough. He didn't want to think about how much money he owed. He didn't want to think about anything except the delicious refreshing drink he was about to finally pour himself. A smile came across his face as he envisioned the sound of the ice cubes hitting the bottom of his glass. When he thought of the sweet mixture of iced tea, lemonade, and the finest vodka the local grocery store provided, a tear slowly rolled down his cheek. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">"No time to get emotional," he said as he wiped the tear with his sleeve. "Stay focused."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">He ran past the elevator directly to the stairs. The elevator was one of those old ones with the iron gate. It always felt like he was traveling back in time when he pushed the gate aside and stepped in the small box. To be honest, looking out of that little porthole window to the inner machinations of the elevator as it descended and ascended freaked him out a little. His nerves couldn't handle it tonight.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">His shoes barely touched the steps as he ran up to the 3rd floor. Any pain from his toe was hardly registering. He opened the door to his apartment, unbuttoned his pants and threw his button down shirt on the ground. His roommate was asleep on the couch, also with his shirt off. Empty pizza boxes, plus a few empty cans, bottles, and glasses were spread out on the coffee table. Apparently he had missed some kind of gathering, because the apartment was not like this when he left in the morning. Not to say it was clean when he left it, per se, but there were only 2 empty glasses on the table at most. Maybe one empty pizza box, too.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Steve walked to the small kitchen and looked for a clean glass in the cupboard, coming up empty handed. The dishwasher had been full of dirty dishes for a couple days and neither roommate had the determination to put detergent in and run it. Instead, they'd grab a dirty glass, rinse it out, use it, and put it back in the machine, just as Steve was planning to do now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">He grabbed the cleanest looking glass, placed it under hot water for a few seconds, then dried it off with a paper towel. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">"Perfect."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Now for the moment he had been literally fantasizing about all day. He opened the fridge and took out the bottles of lemonade and iced tea. There was just enough lemonade for a tall Arnold Palmer. He'd have to go back out to the store if he wanted more; after the day he had, he'd either fall asleep after one drink or need 8. He wasn't thrilled about the idea of going back out, but if he needed to, there was a corner store 5 minutes away. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">He opened the freezer and dropped 4 pieces of ice into his glass. Maybe he could make the lemonade stretch into two drinks after all. He reached for the most important ingredient, the bottle of Smirnoff...only to realize it wasn't where it was supposed to be. He moved the ice trays and the boxes of frozen pizza and chicken nuggets around in the freezer. Still nothing. Frantically he opened the fridge and moved the milk and eggs around, pushed the cans of soda to the side, pulled the box of baking soda out, knocked over the cartons of leftover Chinese food, only to find....nothing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">"No."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">It was 10:45pm and he lived in Connecticut. Because of the Puritanical values that still pervaded this New England colony, the liquor stores all closed at 9pm. When he was in college less than 10 years ago, all liquor stores closed at 8pm and didn't open at all on Sunday. People would have to plan their drinking ahead of time like some kind of scientist, it was outrageous. Unfortunately, the extra hour wasn't doing him any good tonight, and he hadn't talked to the bootlegger he went to as a teen since...he was a teen. Maybe he could find his number somewhere? Even if he found it, dealing with that guy usually took hours. Who knows if he still even bootlegged. It would be pretty sad if he was still doing it 15 years later. Steve expected more ambition from his bootleggers. So that wasn't a realistic option. No, if he didn't find the bottle, he'd have to go to a bar. The closest bar was 25 minutes away, and it always smelled like used kitty litter. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">"No."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">He looked back in the freezer, hopelessly moving everything from one side to the other in hopes that it would somehow appear.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">"No."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Back to the fridge. Then back to the freezer. Then he turned around and scoped out the kitchen counter. Nothing. The kitchen table....nothing. He almost jumped into the living room where his roommate remained snoring loudly on the couch. He scoured the coffee table, the floor, the entertainment center, he lifted his roommates feet and looked under his legs. Still nothing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">"No!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">He hopped back into the kitchen. He opened the stove just in case. He checked the sink. He checked every cabinet. He ran to his room and looked under his covers, in the closet, in his dresser, then in his bathroom. There was no vodka to be found.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">As he ran back to the kitchen, he spotted a white garbage bag near the front door. It was stuffed to the brim, and right at the top, near the red drawstrings, the red top of a glass bottle poked out. He ran to the bag and pulled out the bottle. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Smirnoff. Empty.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">"No!" The vein on his forehead looked like a railroad track crossing from temple to temple. He opened the bottle and tipped it back, hoping for any little bit to drop on his tongue. He didn't realize how much he resembled a cartoon caricature of a drunkard, and he didn't care. He was furious. He had come so close to his cherished Arnold Palmer and it had been taken away from him. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Before he could think he screamed and kicked the front door with all of his might, then immediately passed out from the pain that shot up from his toe.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">"Steve?" his roommate murmured from the couch. He pulled the couch pillow off his head and looked towards the heap of flesh on the ground. "Dude, we're gonna get complaints from the neighbors if you keep yelling. Chill out man." He placed the couch pillow back on his head and resumed his alcohol fueled snoring. </span><br />
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<b>---End Part 7</b><br />
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<i>I Love You All...Class Dismissed. </i></div>
</div>
Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-29288685387662005102018-11-05T17:08:00.002-05:002018-11-05T17:08:48.671-05:00Dark and Stormy<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It was a Dark & Stormy Night; that was the name of the drink he received from the tall, thin blonde with over-sized round glasses. She smiled as she handed it to him. He assumed it was an attempt for a better tip and not an attempt to make an actual human connection. He hadn't had one of those--an actual human connection--for some time, so he wouldn't know what it looked like anyways.<br />
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As he sipped the drink, he put a $20 bill on the bar. Not too long ago, he would've waited for change, but he'd come to the conclusion that he'd rather be broke than be looked at like a pariah. He wouldn't have enough money for a cab, but he wanted to walk home tonight anyway. It's not like anyone was waiting for him.<br />
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He took the drink and moved from the bar, his back facing the blonde bartender as she asked about his plans for the night. She hoped the others at the bar didn't witness her embarrassment. It seemed the guys she wanted to talk to never felt the same, and every guy she didn't want to talk to felt an unstoppable urge to converse with her for the entirety of her shift.<br />
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The man reached the open stool in the corner of the bar and placed his drink on the counter that ran the length of the wall. As he placed it on the coaster with a local brewery's logo, he heard the first notes of Taylor Swift's new song playing loudly overhead.<br />
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He was dumbfounded. This was a bar. For adults. Why was this happening? He looked around the crowded, small space. In the opposite corner there was a digital jukebox, with a group of 5-6 young men in baseball caps with college names embroidered on the front, drinking beers and laughing loudly. Two were mouthing the lyrics as one belted out every other word.<br />
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He couldn't tell if the guys were truly enjoying the song, or if it was "ironic," but either way, it was beginning to make him gag. He swallowed the knot in his throat, a physical embodiment of the anger he felt brewing inside, then sucked down the rest of his drink. He waked to the bar and put his empty glass down. The bartender asked, "Another round, handsome?" but once again, her words went unnoticed by their intended target as he walked towards the door.<br />
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"Sure, I'll have another one, sexy," a middle aged man with an unkempt mustache and eyebrows that stuck out in every direction said as he jiggled the ice in his glass in her direction. She heard the door closing, sighed and went to make another Screwdriver for Eyebrows. As she walked to the end of the bar to take a glass from the shelf, the other bartender, Stinky Steve (the busboys weren't that clever with their nicknames, but they were accurate) walked behind her, forcing her to turn to the side to fit through the narrow area behind the bar. She faced him as he passed and leaned backwards so her breasts wouldn't rub against him; she knew what he was doing and wasn't going to give him the pleasure. She told her boss about his obnoxious behavior plenty of times, but apparently Stinky Steve was related to a family member.<br />
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"Excuse me, hon," Stinky Steve said as he passed, lifting his arm towards the shelf, grazing her shirt but not making the contact he desired. A clear look of dissatisfaction crossed his face.<br />
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The man who chugged the Dark and Stormy stepped outside into the crisp, early winter air. He muttered to himself, "Really, that's the fucking song you choose? There's other people at the bar, you know. Assholes."<br />
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He walked a few paces and took deep breaths, letting the cold air fill his lungs. His mood started to improve as he thought about the blonde bartender.<br />
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"That drink was damn good, though. That bartender..." his mind wandered off to a warmer locale, where the sun beamed down on him and the blonde bartender, enjoying drinks with umbrellas in them by the ocean. It was the first pleasant thought he'd had in weeks. A vague semblance of a smile crept onto the corner of his mouth.<br />
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Then he remembered the Swift fans. He literally growled, startling the older woman walking past him carrying plastic grocery bags (she avoided grocery stores in the day to avoid dealing with crowds; the downside was that she had to deal with the growlers at night). She tightened her grip on the bags and quickened her pace. She loved this town, but wasn't sure how long she could put up with its residents.<br />
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--<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>I Love You All...Class Dismissed. </i></div>
Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-4743519830537606592018-10-06T00:35:00.004-04:002018-10-26T12:03:35.157-04:00What's Pissing Me Off Today? An Explainer<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
If you follow me online at all, you know that I've taken to video to express my outrage. There has been plenty of things to be outraged about in this country for a long time, but we've gotten to a point that is so absurd and fucked up, I simply could not take it anymore. If I didn't scream for at least a minute every day about what's bothering me, my head would have exploded. It's a mental cleanse. You all should try it!<br />
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I figured I'd scream into the camera instead of into the void because I like the interaction with people; I think it's good to express our outrage together. I knew I wasn't the only one feeling like this, but the response to the videos has reassured me that there are more sane people out there than it seems at times.<br />
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The first video I did was a spur of the moment rant about Trump giving himself an A+ on his response to Puerto Rico. The absurdity of that claim literally made me want to scream, so I did.<br />
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The video was pure anger, and I did it in one take because I wanted to capture that natural, instinctive fury, even though there's not much substance there. The next day, he said the official tally of the dead in Puerto Rico wasn't true. Insanity. Yet his supporters believe it and the media "debates" the truth of the claim.<br />
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I knew after that video that this was going to become a consistent activity. We are far through the looking glass, and I need to document the absurdity. Plus, it just felt great to vent.<br />
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It is absolutely infuriating reading the news. I could do 10 of these videos a day, but I decided to limit myself for mental health reasons. Also, some take a while to get the right take and I got like 3 jobs. I try to have a good mix of humor with the anger and information so it's not all doom and fury (and sometimes you just have to laugh at these clowns). But mostly I try to be informative as possible while also expressing appropriate rage at whatever the topic is. There have been a few where the rage overtakes everything, and although it may not be informative, I'll go with it, because honestly, this shit truly pisses me off. Besides, pure emotion is much more effective than stats and data. In fact, that's part of the reason we're in this mess; people's fear and hate is much more powerful and persuasive than facts.<br />
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Generally, I am a happy person. Happiness requires work, and it's been a hard battle at times, but I can finally say I'm truly happy. Buddhists and certain philosophers teach us that we can only control the internal; if you focus on yourself and what you have control over, you won't be affected by external forces. I mostly agree; however, even Buddha was affected by the external. He set out from his palace as a child because he couldn't just sit back in luxury and let people suffer. I'm at a point where I'm happy and comfortable, but I can't stay quiet about all the awful shit that's going on and I don't think anyone should.<br />
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Will these videos have an actual effect? I don't know. I tend to doubt it. But it feels good, and the videos are getting more of a response than anything else I've done. I think I've tapped into the zeitgeist.<br />
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I wish progressive politicians would do the same. Maybe the problem is they're not really progressive. Some of the stuff I yell about (police brutality and gun violence in particular) I was yelling about when Obama was in office, and Democratic politicians weren't doing much about it then, either.<br />
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The difference is, with somewhat competent and decent people in charge, we tend to overlook some of the horrors of the world. With an absolute incoherent shitshow leading every branch of government and every government agency, all the horrors are brought to light constantly. Maybe that's what we need to make real change?<br />
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Possibly. The problem is, real people suffer in the meantime. Yet even with everything going on under Trump, I've seen so many Democratic politicians talk about "we need to bring back civility!" Not to mention, some outright support Trump's policies or nominees. Ultimately, I agree that a civil society is best (obviously?) but we can't talk about civility until we start getting justice. And sanity. There should be no talk of civility when the most uncivil person in the world is President. The guy openly mocks sexual assault victims! He did it recently, and he did it during the 2016 campaign. It's who he is, and there should be no rest for Republicans (or Joe fucking Manchin) as long as they are supporting him. People act like both sides are to blame for the incivility. I'm a harsh critic of the Democrats, but if you think anyone but Trump (and the people that have propped him up) are responsible for the shitshow we're currently in, you're being disingenuous. This isn't like our foreign policy, where both parties are the exact same. There is one side to blame here. There has been a hostile takeover of the US government, not by a foreign government (maybe?) but by one of the major political parties in the US.<br />
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Republicans talk about the "hate on the Left" as if they didn't elect the most hateful man in the country, based purely off the hate he expressed for the previous Black president, his female opponent, immigrants, and anyone that dared challenge him--even the very same Republicans that now support him! They tell us, "Don't yell at us out in public! Don't demand that we hold town halls and answer questions! Let us do whatever we want and respect this President who has never respected anyone in his life!"<br />
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And Democrats/liberals/progressives fall for it! Even after they steal a Supreme Court seat, even after Trump separates immigrant families and bans Muslims, even after his EPA dismantles environmental regulations, even after his former campaign manager and several other people in his campaign are indicted, even after Trump and his supporters attack sexual assault victims, <a href="https://www.realclearpolitics.com/2018/07/17/while_trump_is_destroying_america_dems_call_for_civility_447713.html">Democrats still call for civility</a>. High level Democrats shake their head and scold activists for yelling at these assholes in public, while spouting off on Twitter about how inhumane Trump's policies are. How can you (and why would you) be "civil" to the people who are instating inhumane policies?<br />
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The game really changed moment prominent Republicans refused to denounce birtherism (and the assholes who promoted it). Democrats simply refused to recognize the change, so much so, that when Turtle McConnell and the rest of the GOP blocked Obama's Supreme Court candidate, they just rolled over and let it happen.<br />
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Now there are white supremacists running the country, immigrants are being unlawfully imprisoned indefinitely, and the Democrats still think bi-partisanship is the answer. Too many people think anger is bad. No! Hate is bad, anger can be righteous and powerful if justified. It's all how you use it. We all feel emotions (even the assholes who shout things like "I make decisions based on fact not feelings!" No, you don't.) and we need to learn how to react to our emotions and channel them for good, instead of suppressing them. The anger has been building in me (and the country) for quite some time now, and the past year and a half with Trump as president has been simply infuriating. Personally, I needed a release, and this has been working.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I've also taken to cycling my anger out.</span></b></div>
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Democratic leaders need to recognize and channel the anger of their constituents and the general population if they want to win any time soon. Obama was civil and polite and courteous and avoided any personal scandals whatsoever, and they still called him a Muslim African terrorist and blocked every single thing they could. At what point will we learn that one side is not playing by the rules? Let them scream about the Left's "hate" all they want. Stop letting what the other side says stop us from accomplishing anything. Stop being cowards. Get angry.<br />
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I don't enjoy getting angry; it is simply a natural response to all this bullshit. It's fucked up because anger and yelling also seems to attract the most attention. I mean, it's one of the many reasons Trump won. He tapped into the rage that white America felt at the Black President, black athletes, immigrants, protesters, the possible female President, and some legitimate anger at the government. Of course, anything shitty that our government was doing before, <a href="http://thehilltalk.com/2018/09/13/us-drone-strikes-northern-africa/">he has ratcheted up by 100%</a>. It turns out, the only thing his supporters had real anger towards were immigrants and Black people.<br />
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I do believe there are rational Republicans, but there are none currently in office (except Dr. Petit; see I don't discriminate!). There is no rational debate to be had with people who think there are "good people on both sides" of a Nazi rally. There is no rational debate to be had with people who are okay with detaining thousands of immigrant children indefinitely. There is no rational debate to be had with people who support a racist, buffoonish conman. The few Republican Senators who call out Trump every now and then, vote with him 99% of the time, so they are as bad if not worse than his most outspoken supporters. Progressives need to focus on absolutely crushing these cruel assholes through voting and direct activism (maybe making some videos!) and making sure none of them ever have a position of power again.<br />
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GET ANGRY!<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: xx-small;">This one took a stupid amount of takes, just to get Donnie Jr's face right.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I did this in one take. It was an upsetting day.</span></b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "segoe ui" , "segoe ui web (west european)" , "segoe ui" , , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "roboto" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;"><i>I Love You All...Class Dismissed. </i></span></div>
Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-37675832976798596252018-09-10T17:08:00.001-04:002018-09-10T17:08:32.729-04:00The Most Pointless Bullshit on the Internet, vol 2<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I've written a lot about the positives and negatives of social media, and most of it has to do with the people using it. Kinda like any problem in human history: it's our own fault. When every person has access to social media, there will inevitably be some horrible opinions shared. And a lot of media outlets use headlines or write stories intended to get a strong reaction from you. There's not much we can do about those issues, short of blocking or unfollowing people/companies that behave in such a manner.<br />
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However, there are some issues built in to social media that quite frankly shouldn't be. One of those is Autoplay. Autoplay is a feature that automatically plays a video when it appears on your screen. So if you are scrolling down your social media feed and you stop scrolling for a split second, if there is a video onscreen it will play. Seems harmless, right? It's not! It sucks!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwH9kXjbY0mvRH7cgJD_SI4A1hunc01YIlkykCNzBfbCVSmh4jPAQe9up90ZuYyMHltbdEc19Wbm8-2NIiuuwDFuJptoGvpdgTUyg0ncQ_LL-aYSF94YFpptJEkD70__fdR-6ofoVoQew6/s1600/MV5BYzkwZjlmMTYtZjIwYy00MTBjLWFiZjUtNjE0YTEzYzE4OWM0XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNzA4OTAwNg%2540%2540._V1_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="901" data-original-width="1600" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwH9kXjbY0mvRH7cgJD_SI4A1hunc01YIlkykCNzBfbCVSmh4jPAQe9up90ZuYyMHltbdEc19Wbm8-2NIiuuwDFuJptoGvpdgTUyg0ncQ_LL-aYSF94YFpptJEkD70__fdR-6ofoVoQew6/s320/MV5BYzkwZjlmMTYtZjIwYy00MTBjLWFiZjUtNjE0YTEzYzE4OWM0XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNzA4OTAwNg%2540%2540._V1_.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b style="background-color: white; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 15.84px;"><i>The Most Pointless Bullshit on the Internet, vol 2: Autoplay Videos</i></b><br />
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Before I get too far into this, I understand that you can switch the settings on your social media app to not Autoplay videos. However, the settings on all social media apps are notoriously obnoxious and hard to navigate, and the bigger issue is, why is Autoplay the default? Why do I have to do the work to turn it off?<br />
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So yeah, I know I <i>could </i>not complain about this because there are ways to stop it if I was more proactive, but we're talking about the most pointless bullshit here, it only makes sense to make an even more pointless rant, right? Right.<br />
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Anyways, the best way to actually stop this pointless bullshit called Autoplay would be to...not have it at all. What is the purpose? It's certainly not for the consumers. It's simply a trick that companies/apps use to get and keep your eyes on their products. When a video starts automatically, you're more likely to keep watching it. Even when it is your friend or cousin's videos on social media it is used to trap you; it's not your cousins fault, in that case, Facebook is trying to <a href="https://www.recode.net/2017/1/26/14399934/facebook-video-engagement-news-feed-change">keep your eyes on Facebook longer</a>.<br />
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There is no practical reason for the consumer to have Autoplay. It takes a millisecond to press the play button, so it can't possibly exist to save consumers' time. It literally only exists to trick you into watching. I don't appreciate that. But besides my personal feelings about companies using our natural biological instincts against us, Autoplay can be shitty in other ways as well.<br />
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I don't mind when the video "Cute Fluffy Animals Happily Playing Together" automatically plays. Trick me into watching that video all day! No problem. The problem is that the video "Asshole Beats the Shit Out of This Cute Puppy in Front of a Sick Child" also automatically plays. So does "Cop Kills Unarmed Man." So do a hundred other things I don't want to or don't need to see. And if I do want to see those things, I will see them when I want to see them, not when Zuckerberg wants me to.<br />
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Besides, it actually makes it harder to watch the video. If your phone's on mute, which mine usually is, you won't hear the video but it will start playing. If you want to hear it, you have to click on the video, which will then continue playing from when you clicked it. So if you want to hear the beginning of the video, you have to manually drag the video backwards.<br />
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If the volume is on already, that's an even bigger problem, one that is likely to cause some underwear stains, which of course becomes a significantly worse problem. When your phone's volume is on and you scroll past a video, the audio will play whether you want to or not. Luckily, I usually keep my phone's volume off, but there have been a few times where a late night, lazy browsing session has turned into a terror filled attempt to find my phone (which I instinctively threw across the room) and hurriedly turn down the volume. Autoplay has also snitched on me during work meetings. I'm scrolling social media to keep me awake during this pointless meeting, Autoplay, don't let the whole friggin room know!<br />
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There is no purpose for Autoplay that is not nefarious. In fact, other forms of media are using it too, and it's just as pointless and obnoxious. We've all been watching Netflix late at night. We've all fallen asleep during an episode only to wake up to see that four more episodes have played and now you're gonna waste 40 minutes trying to figure out where you left off.<br />
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Even worse, when you go to the Netflix homescreen, previews automatically play, and they're twice as loud as the shows for some reason. Listen, Netflix, I don't need to see a preview of Disenchantment to know I don't want to see it. And I certainly don't want to hear it in my bones. I'm gonna use your service regardless... relax!<br />
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Autoplay is one of those pointless features that doesn't even seem like a good idea when you think about it, and it's not a good idea in practice, but it stays around because it benefits the media outlet using it. If that's what Facebook needs to do to keep their service free, ok. (They also spy on us, sell our information, and track our every move to keep their service free, but that's a whole other issue.) We're all gonna need to be a little more conscious of the videos we share. You may love seeing a video of your neighbor's kids firing bottle rockets from their ass, but not everybody does. I mean, I do, so send it my way, but not everybody will appreciate it automatically playing on their phone.<br />
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Hopefully all the corporate executives subscribed to my blog will take this rant to heart!<br />
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<i>I Love You All...Class Dismissed. </i></div>
Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-50384109711345967932018-08-26T23:05:00.000-04:002018-08-27T14:17:44.799-04:00Modern Movie Franchises, Ranked 1-50<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Nowadays every movie gets a sequel and eventually becomes a trilogy. The term franchise is more apt than ever because most movies are viewed as a business enterprise, a means to simply get as much money as possible. The reality is, that's what Hollywood has always been all about, so there's no reason to get nostalgic about some glory days that never existed. <a href="https://medium.com/@jtesterkamp/new-hollywood-why-the-70s-were-the-greatest-decade-in-america-cinema-c42676e2170f">Except maybe for 1970s Hollywood</a>.<br />
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As a film lover, I wanted to create this list for myself as much as anybody else, and with that said, the ground rules I set for this list are my own. If you got a problem, let's see your list, pal!<br />
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<b><i>Rules:</i></b><br />
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1. <i>No horror films</i>. Too many franchises, and too many suck. Horror needs its own list.<br />
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2. <i>At least 3 consecutive films in a series</i>. Two consecutive films then a reboot does not count. So if The Amazing Spider-Man, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 and Spider-Man: Homecoming were the only films in the Spider-Man Series, that wouldn't count for this list. (But, of course, there is the original Tobey Maguire trilogy, so Spidey is on the list!) Also, using Spider-Man as an example again, there might be technically two or three separate series (originals, reboots, remakes), but I generally include them as one franchise.<br />
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3. <i>One of the films has to have been made within the last 30 years</i>. Unfortunately, that means no Godfather, but that's kind of in it's own playing field anyway.<br />
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4. <i>I had to have seen at least one film all the way through</i>. So yes, that means I only saw one film in some of these franchises. With the nature of franchises, you can generally tell if you'll like the other movies based off one. I think Godfather 3 is mediocre, but if I saw that first, it would have been good enough to spark my interest in the other two.<br />
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The thing is with this list, one classic film can lift up an entire franchise, and one awful film can bring it down. A franchise with all mediocre films might just beat out a franchise with one classic film because the rest in the series are awful. Here goes:<br />
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Modern Movie Franchises, Ranked</span></u></b><br />
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<b>1. Mad Max</b><br />
The original trilogy is incredible, and gets better with each installment. It is a product of the times (70s and 80s) which makes it amazing to me, but you have to enjoy the old school, independent film vibe to really appreciate the films. The newest entry, Fury Road, puts this on the top of the list. It redefined action movies for the 21st Century, while keeping the spirit of the originals.</div>
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<b>2. Toy Story</b><br />
The depth of character, the groundbreaking visuals, the emotional impact of the storylines. Toy Story redefined animated films and then ended up making a perfect film trilogy. The only reason it's not at the top of the list is because the last movie made me cry instead of making me want to play a flamethrowing guitar while chained to a tank like Fury Road. Of course, they will probably ruin it with the fourth installment, but maybe they can pull off what Mad Max managed.<br />
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<b>3. Back to the Future</b><br />
Yeah I'm biased with Michael J Fox, so what? So much fun. The first two are perfect (if you don't think too hard about the time travel paradoxes; and, if you do, that can be lots of fun, too). The 3rd is fun and actually wraps up the story very well, just maybe not how we had all envisioned it with the Wild West thing.<br />
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<b>4. Batman</b><br />
Imagine if Tim Burton got to finish out his original trilogy? I don't even hate Batman Forever, but a Burton and Keaton trilogy to compare to Nolan and Bale's trilogy would've been great. Batman has 4 classic films (the first two in each series) two good films (the third in each series) and one bad movie (Batman and Robin) which I will still watch any time. It also has the Adam West original movie (and series) which is a classic in its own right, and Lego Batman, which is great. Sadly, there's also Batman vs Superman, but I place that in the shitty DC Extended Universe where it belongs. Sorry Batfleck.<br />
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<b>5. Marvel Cinematic Universe</b> (<i>Avengers, Thor, Captain America, Iron Man, Black Panther, Guardians, Dr. Strange, Ant-Man, Incredible Hulk</i>)<br />
This is a big one, and some weak movies *cough* Guardians *cough* benefit from the association with stronger films, but you have to appreciate the sheer magnitude of this franchise. Somehow, with all these characters and directors and writers, they've managed to make several coherent individual series connected to a coherent group film series, over a period of 10 years. And most of them are pretty damn good! Some are amazing! Overall, we've never seen anything like this in film before, and we should appreciate what we have.<br />
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<b>6. Indiana Jones </b><br />
This was so close to being a perfect trilogy. I mean, yeah, it had the racist caricature of Indian people in Temple of Doom, but it's still a great movie. Raiders and Lost Crusade are classics, and it was a well rounded story with a clear beginning and end...then came Shia freakin Labouef and his SUV surfing. It hurts to think about. It hurts even more to think about the next movie that is coming out. Why? Let Indy die. Like Young Indy. Sorry.<br />
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<b>7. Rocky</b><br />
For some reason, I don't think about Rocky too much when I think about franchises. Maybe it's because Stallone and his characters like Rocky and Rambo are just part of the public conscious at this point. They're just characters that have seemingly been around forever. I almost forget that it was an incredible film series at one point. Plus, the latest installment, Creed, reinvigorated the whole story. All it took was to make Rocky a side character!<br />
The original is classic cinema. The next one is a great comeback story/love story between two former opponents. The third has Hulk Hogan and Mr. T! The 4th one ended the Cold War. Then there were two more which killed the positive memories we had of the series until Michael B Jordan came and kicked it in the ass.<br />
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<b>8. Die Hard</b><br />
The original is one of the greatest action movies of all time, if not THE greatest action movie. Definitely the best action movie that takes place in a skyscraper. The sequel pales in comparison, except for it's unbelievably awesome name: Die Harder. Also, Detective Sipowicz is all up in there yelling at our hero, so it's enjoyable. Die Hard With a Vengeance with Sam Jackson is great. Just the mere connection to Hans Gruber brings it up several notches. Then, once again, Shia Laboef ruins a legendary trilogy by showing up in part 4. It was never going to succeed with the name Live Free or Die Hard anyway, but still. Finally (hopefully it's final) Vladimir Putin ruined It's a Good Day to Die Hard. I'm guessing he forced the creators of the movie to make a ridiculous story line in Russia, otherwise I have no fucking idea what they were thinking.<br />
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<b>9. Spider-Man</b><br />
It started with one of the best superhero movies ever (when they were barely a thing!) then followed up with a better movie, then ruined all that with Emo Peter Parker in part 3. Spider-Man 3 was so bad they rebooted the whole series and came back with...even worse trash. If The Amazing Spider-Man 1 and 2 never happened, Spidey would jump up a couple spots in the list. Homecoming, the most recent reboot, was great, and balances out the awfulness of Garfield era Spidey. (I also include Homecoming in the Marvel Cinematic Universe).</div>
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<b>10. X-Men</b><br />
It started with one of the best superhero movies ever (when they were even less of a thing!) then followed up with a better movie, then ruined all that with Brett Fucking Ratner directing part 3. The Last Stand is ok because it has so many beloved characters and a lot of action, but the story and writing sucked. X-Men Origins: Wolverine and The Wolverine sucked adamantium dong, but Logan was one of the best movies of last year, period. Doing a soft reboot and keeping the original version of some characters while introducing us to younger versions in First Class was cool (the movie was decent overall) and Days of Future Past was really entertaining, but Apocalypse sucked hardcore. That one and the first two Wolverine movies keep this from being higher on the list. Plus, the entire timeline is completely out of wack. There's no use trying to make sense of the timeline from one film to the next after part 3, but that doesn't hurt the overall enjoyment.<br />
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<b>11. The Matrix</b><br />
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The original Matrix was one of the coolest movies ever...at the time. The second movie had some incredible action scenes...and then the last 30 minutes and The Architect happened. Then the third part happened. The third retroactively made the original much less cooler. But it's hard to overstate the impact this had on action movies, and the black leather industry.</div>
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<b>12. Lord of the Rings</b><br />
I separated this from The Hobbit because The Lord of the Rings is so much better it seems impossible that they are made by the same people. Also, I never sat through a whole Hobbit movie. I'm just assuming they are horrible based on what I did see. The Lord of the Rings is a great series, and in theaters it was stunningly beautiful. My favorite is the 2nd. The first is a bit slow to get going, and the last one is treacherously slow to end, but a solid series.</div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><b>13. Shrek</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">The first two are classics. Well, definitely the 1st. Anytime you create a character that's so iconic it becomes shorthand for an insult (your girl looks like Shrek!) you deserve some credit. The 3rd was unnecessary: we didn't need Timberlake in the Shrek Universe. We definitely didnt need Shrek Forever After. But they kinda made up for it with the Puss in Boots spin-off. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><b>14. Austin Powers</b></span><br />
We forget how funny the original Austin Powers was because of how deeply it became entrenched in the public's conscious. Endless shouts of "yeah baby!" really watered down the comedic genius of the original, and even the 2nd. Mini-Me?! Fat Bastard?! Classic characters. Yeah, the jokes were recycled, but they were funny jokes! Then they tried it a third time and the shine had worn off. Goldmember wasn't horrible, but it was just kinda...there. With Beyonce.<br />
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><b>15. Lethal Weapon</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">The first two are classics, although the second one gets increasingly ridiculous. This and Die Hard cemented the "rogue cop who can't be tamed but he always fights for good" trope as the leading cop trope in movies and tv forever and ever. Mel and Danny Glover were great together, but the star of the series was the saxophone. The sax solos littered throughout the series were iconic. Really set the mood. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">I remember the 3rd one being good, then I rewatched it a few years ago and wanted to kick the screen whenever Joe Pesci was on. Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. Fucking ok we get it Joe. The 4th one was an embarassment, with Chris Rock and Pesci trading weak punchlines back and forth nonstop. Jet Li was cool tho. </span></div>
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<b>16. Men In Black</b><br />
Classic original. Good second. Never saw the 3rd, but I'm sure it was fun. Thought they could've done a lot more with this franchise, especially with Will Smith, but it was enjoyable overall. The 4th will most likely suck.<br />
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<b>17. Naked Gun</b><br />
You know a parody is good when it outlives the targets of its humor. Who even knows half the movies Leslie Nielson and OJ were parodying in these films anymore, yet somehow they still hold up. Yes, they are silly as all hell, but that was the point! Nobody was taking these serious. There was no moment in the film where a character had a serious reflection or deep conversation about the meaning of life. It was just laugh after laugh. All 3 have classic moments.<br />
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<b>18. Planet of the Apes (reboot series)</b><br />
I'm only including the Reboot series here because a) fuck Charlton Heston and b) I never saw the originals except bits and pieces on Saturday afternoons as a kid. The Tim Burton one sucked, too, so that is not included. This most recent series has been surprisingly good, although I still have to see the finale. The tone is perfect, the CGI apes are incredible, there's a solid story, and the action scenes are great. Can't ask for much more in a series about fighting monkeys.</div>
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<b>19. Jurassic Park </b></div>
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I want this to be so much higher, but it just doesn't deserve it. The first one is legendary, and it still holds up, like Goldblum's sexiness. But from the sequel on, it's been disappointment after disappointment. The new series has not impressed me at all. Maybe I'm not the audience for it at this point, and that's okay, but I just think they can never capture that pure feeling of awe that the original inspired in the audience.<br />
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<b>20. Bond</b><br />
Not a huge Bond guy but I get it. I've seen a whole bunch and I like some. I probably saw more with Pierce Brosnan than any others. Daniel Craig is cool. Sean Connery is a woman-beater but he looked good in a tux I guess. I respect the series, it's just really up and down. You have to really like Bond movies to like a Bond movie, ya know? It's very much a genre unto itself.<br />
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<b>21. Bourne Identity</b><br />
Well, almost a genre unto itself. Jason Bourne, the modern day Bond. The first was dope, although it makes you a little queasy with the camera movement. The 2nd one seemed to amp up the motion, to the point where that's literally all I remember and I didn't care about seeing the rest. It doesn't say much about the franchise that they had to bring Damon back after one movie without him, but these are always good for 2 hours of espionage action.<br />
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<b>22. </b><b style="font-family: "times new roman";">Scary Movie</b><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">The only reason this is so high is off the strength of "my little hand." I can watch Chris Elliot in Scary Movie 2 until the end of time. The original was great mostly for how hard it crapped on Scream (which wasn't easy to do because Scream was actually good and very funny). They aretrue spoof movies, though, and unlike Naked Gun they only work if you've seen the movies it's spoofing. Also, most spoofs exist in a very specific moment in time. They don't hold up very well...except for Chris Elliot's little hand, obviously.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">They went on to make like 5 of these, one of which co-stars Shaq, so that's how deep off the edge this series went. </span></div>
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<b>23. Hunger Games</b><br />
I was surprised how much I liked this series. Each movie (almost) was good in and of itself, with its own unique feel and tone, while still establishing a complete world across the series. It was fun and emotional and action packed. Then the last film came and shat all over everything. I was once again surprised, this time by how badly the filmmakers could ruin a good series with one shitty film. Seriously, what was up with the finale? I feel like it was an hour and a half inside of a dark sewer.<br />
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><b>24. </b></span><b>Kung Fu Panda</b><br />
Skadoosh. I love King Fu Panda. Great characters and story, great animation, great voice acting. Obviously I'm biased with Angeina Jolie and Jackie Chan, but everyone is great, even Seth Rogen. The second one isn't great but the series is one of the best modern animated franchises.<br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><br /></span><b>25. Fast and Furious</b><br />
This was a typical cars and guns and half naked women movie series for a while...and it sucked. Then they realized that getting increasingly ridiculous and absurd could save their lame ass franchise. The Rock helped, too. Vin Diesel can't be the only muscular bald guy in your movie.<br />
The whole name thing (2 Fast, 2 Furious; Fast 5; Furious 7) represents the appeal of this movie: it's so stupid, so you can't help but make fun of it, but then you realize you are spending an hour trying to come up with the name of the next movie (Fast 8 Furious? F8st & Furi8us?) and that kinda means you're a fan.<br />
Part 6 in particular is highly absurd, the most enjoyable by far. And to be completely honest, The Wiz Khalifa tribute song playing at the end of part 7 as Paul Walker drives into the sunset is actually very touching.<br />
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<b>26. Mission Impossible</b><br />
Got a lot of heat for putting this series on my "worst" list. Didn't know there were so many hardcore MI fans! Although I guess there must be because they made 6 (!) of these damn things. I checked out after John Woo turned MI:2 into Face:Off 2.<br />
I don't hate this series at all. The first was very good. I've heard others are good, too, and I'm sure the action is incredible. Plus, Tom Cruise is a literal madman and it's fun just to see the behind the scenes with him hanging onto a flying airplane. But, the series just bores me. Same with Bond and Bourne. I guess I'm not into secret agents carrying out covert ops. Seems like I would be, but...nah.<br />
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<b>27. Terminator</b><br />
This could've been the greatest 1-2 combo ever if they let well enough alone. The first two are film classics. They made Arnold a worldwide star. What the fuck have they done to this series? I saw the third one in theaters. When the female terminator's boobs grew I was simultaneously aroused and disgusted. Then there was like an Arnold clone or some weird shit in Salvation. They tried having Khaleesi save part 5 but even that couldn't work. What a joke this series has become. </div>
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<b>28. Star Wars</b><br />
If I broke this down, the original trilogy would be much higher. Blame George Lucas for this spot. Do I have to talk about the prequels? We all know how awful they were. A lot of people seem to think The Force Awakens was amazing and rejuvenated the series. I think it was a decent reboot of the original, but that's about it. The Last Jedi was highly enjoyable for a non-hardcore Star Wars fan. So the two new movies in the series have somewhat made up for the prequels. But then they went and started with these spin-offs and already the world is feeling Star Wars fatigue. Rogue One sucked despite what anyone tries to tell you about how cool the final scene was (it was, but man, how did you stay awake to get to it?) and Solo was so bad Disney might stop the spin-offs altogether.<br />
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<b>29. Home Alone</b><br />
Kevin! We all know and love the original. I think it's a bit overrated, but I watch it almost every Christmas. There was a deep, rapid fall off with the second one. Do I even need to mention who appears in a cameo? That symbolizes the moral rot of this series. They hit a gold mine with Macauley Culkin smacking himself in the face and wanted to bank on his cuteness while it still lasted so they rushed a shitty sequel. Then they tossed him aside for the third. And 4th. And 5th. Seriously, they made 5 of these things?<br />
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<b>30. Scream</b><br />
(I'm breaking my rules on horror here because...just because. Deal with it.)<br />
It says a lot about a series that the parody of it is better. Scream was monumental. Rejuvenated the horror industry and Drew Barrymore's career. It made the shitty Halloween mask your mom bought at CVS seem super cool. And it showed that a horror could be funny and witty and clever, not just gory. The second one didn't immediately ruin the series; it actually had its good moments. The ending was a bit ridiculous because they thought they needed a big twist, but it was an acceptable horror sequel. The third was more of the same with much less wit and charm, which is ironic, because they toned down the violence and focused on the humor in the wake of Columbine. It didn't work. The 4th is an abomination.<br />
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<b>31. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles</b><br />
This probably shouldn't be so high, but I have a severe soft spot for the original. It was so damn good. And unique. Still is. The 2nd one was fun but pales in comparison to the original.<br />
Somehow, Michael Bay's recent additions to the series managed to make travelling to Ancient China in the 3rd film seem like a good idea.<br />
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<b>32. Ocean's 11</b><br />
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The Ocean's movies are less films and more excuses for a bunch of rich famous people to hang out and do (somewhat) witty dialogue. The first was a lot of fun. The 2nd was incredibly dumb (the whole Julia Roberts and Bruce Willis thing? yikes) The third was okay but the whole concept was exhausted at that point. Well, maybe not, considering they made a new one. All female this time! That's completely different and new! Women be stealinnnnn!<br />
<b><br /></b><b>33. Rambo</b><br />
If you never saw the original, you might think Rambo is just an unrepentant killing machine. There's not many movie series with such a dramatic change in tone from the original to the sequels. Rambo was a Vietnam vet trying to live out his life in the woods, but corrupt cops tried to kill him so he defended himself. It was a commentary on the shitty treatment of vets and PTSD. Then they decided to have him kill 75 people in the second one and increasingly more in the next installments. The idea of Rambo the Destroyer was stronger than the traumatized vet character in the original I guess. They did make a cool cartoon in the 80s though. My question is, who saw Rambo 1 or 2 and said: "This would be a great role model for kids!"<br />
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<b>34. American Pie</b><br />
The original was funny as hell at the time it came out. And Shannon Elizabeth...my god. But it lost its appeal on second viewing, and the sequel was more of the same, with the addition of giving us "Milf." They've made like 80 of these straight to video. It's the Meatballs or Porkys of the 90s/00s, and much like those movies, they will not be looked back upon very fondly.<br />
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<b>35. The Hangover</b><br />
Speaking of not being looked back on fondly...<br />
The first one banked on the endlessly charming Zach Galiafankis, the gorgeous brown locks of Bradley Cooper, and Ed Helms. It worked for the first one, though I still say they should have shown their blacked-out shenanigans during the movie, not in some pictures during the credits. The 2nd was a poor choice. There was also a third.</div>
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<b>36. The Mummy </b></div>
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Shoutout to Brendan Fraser. He got blackballed for being an abuse victim. Many people thought it was because of the 2nd and 3rd films in this series. I can see why.<br />
The Rock was the weird CGI Scorpion King and shit got off the rails. But let's not forget how much fun the first one is. Apparently the reboot with Tom Cruise was so bad Universal Studeios cancelled their ideas of bringing back all the old school monster movies. A fitting end to this series.<br />
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<b>37. Star Trek</b></div>
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Can't say much about this series. I've seen a bunch of the movies a while ago. They're ok. I like the one with the whales the most. No interest in the new ones because they are Star Wars clones (pun intended) instead of a Star Trek reboot (so the "Star" movie people tell me anyways). Clearly, the show and movies had an unprecedented impact on society (Klingons! Phasers! First interracial kiss! Sex with green ladies!) so it deserves a lot of credit. From someone else.<br />
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<b>38. Ice Age</b><br />
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The original was great. But when a short unrelated film at the beginning of your movie, plus the voice acting of John Leguizamo, are the best parts of your movie, there's only a certain level you can reach. The sequels got increasingly repetitive and uninteresting, as a lot of these animated series do. Only a few can stave off that curse.<br />
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<b>39. Madagascar</b></div>
Madagascar is not one of those series. The first is really good. But how much David Schwimmer can anyone take? And Chris Rock's voice has never been his strong suit. It's another "group of animals come together for assorted hijinks while overcoming serious obstacles" animated series that basically follows the same formula as Ice Age or Kung Fu Panda.<br />
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<b>40. DC Extended Universe</b></div>
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Why oh why is the DC Extended Universe so bad? DC had it made with 2 stellar Batman franchises! (I'm not including the Burton and Nolan Batman series in the DCEU, obviously.) They have the first major superhero in the world. They have THE female superhero (at least they didn't fuck that one up). Yet, from Superman Returns on, they just fail over and over again. Even Wonder Woman, their best movie, is about 30 minutes too long and the plot is kind of stupid when you think about it. I finally forced myself to watch Justice League (while reading this actually) and I'm not happy about it. Fuckin Steppenwolf is your Big Bad?<br />
These are not enjoyable, or cohesive films. Just a hot mess.<br />
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<b>41. Rush Hour</b><br />
Come on. You liked Rush Hour when it came out. Chris Tucker was a funny motherfucker. And Jackie Chan is motherfucking Jackie Chan. Their chemistry was real, the movie was fun, the story was decent, and Jackie was doing stunts like he was in his 20s. Then there was part 2, trying to cash in on the success of the surprise hit. And part 3, trying to bleed the very last cent they could manage out of this bloated corpse of a franchise.<br />
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<b>42. Ernest</b><br />
Hey Vern! We all suffered through at least one Ernest movie in our childhoods. I will still say, <a href="https://spovenweedlepresents.blogspot.com/2015/01/stoned-willy-guides-you-thru-ernest.html">Ernest Goes to Camp is an underrated, unerappreciated gem of a film</a>. The others were used at Guantanamo to torture people.<br />
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<b>43. Despicable Me</b><br />
Despicable Me is funny. Steve Carell is great as usual. But this is the series that gave us the Minions, and everything that comes with them. They were actually cute and funny in the original. They quickly got historically obnoxious. So of course there were two sequels and a Minions spin-off!<br />
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<b>44. Meet the Parents/Fockers</b><br />
Nobody under 25 would ever believe Robert DeNiro was one of the finest dramatic actors of his generation. The original is good for a laugh or two. But man, they really got a lot of mileage out of the "their last name is Focker!" joke.<br />
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<b>45. The Expendables</b><br />
Fun idea. It is what it is. You know exactly what you're getting. Big dumb explosions with action stars of the 80s, 90s and today. It exists, that's about all I can say for it.<br />
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<b>46. DaVinci Code</b><br />
Tom Hanks' hair...bro. What? Sheesh.<br />
I really enjoyed the book, and I loved the Angels & Demons book. This was such a horrible adaptation that I stopped reading Dan Brown novels after watching it. It retroactively made the books shitty.<br />
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<b>47. Harry Potter </b></div>
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I was just never into this. I tried watching the first one 3 times and couldn't do it. Order of the Phoenix was pretty dark and trippy, though, so that was cool. Highly overrated series, by adults anyways. I'm not mad if you loved this as a kid. But grow up. Come on.<br />
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<b>48. Pirates of the Caribbean</b><br />
The series that simultaneously made Johnny Depp a worldwide megastar and killed his career. The first one is very enjoyable. The second one is torturous; I think Captain Depp was just running away for 3 hours. I never made an attempt to watch another. I was dumbfounded when I saw that there are 5 of these things, and they are all 4 and a half hours too long.<br />
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<b>49. Twilight</b><br />
I actually saw the first two in theaters. The perks of working with teenagers when it was popular. It is as lame as you assumed. Plus, every person I talked to hated the last few movies, even hard core fans; if you can't win me over with your glittery vampire movie that's one thing, but if the teen girls that grew up on the books aren't feeling it, you failed miserably.<br />
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<b>50. Transformers</b><br />
I've only seen the first one and the first 2 hours of the second one (pretty sure it's 8 hours long) yet I can say with confidence that every film in this series is awful. The 6th is coming out this year and the 7th next year. Kill me.<br />
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<i>I Love You All...Class Dismissed. </i></div>
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Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-19000842026030135152018-08-21T16:45:00.001-04:002018-09-10T17:07:19.213-04:00The Most Pointless Bullshit on the Internet, vol. 1<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">The internet! It's great. But there is a whole lot of pointless bullshit on it. I'm not talking about Taylor Swift videos or animal crushing videos either. Those are awful and cruel and speak volumes about the state of our society, but they have a point. Whether you like/agree with them or not, they serve a purpose (to crush the souls of all who watch them). The things I want to talk about in this series just serve no purpose whatsoever, or, they fail so miserably in their intended purpose they make the Space Shuttle Challenger mission look like a success. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Lets get ready ta rrrrraaaambbble dont sue me Michael Bufferrrrrr!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><i>The Most Pointless Bullshit on the Internet, vol 1: Facebook Emoji Reactions</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">A few years back Facebook introduced 5 options to their reaction buttons, in addition to the original "thumbs up," or "like." Do you even remember when it was just "likes"? They introduce this new stuff, we all complain for a bit, then we forget about it and keep using it like nothing changed. Well, I'm still complaining dammit! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">For years, a debate raged online about whether Facebook should add a "dislike" button. We were all so innocent then. N</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">ow we have 6 reactions to choose from when your friend or cousin or guy you worked with for a few months last summer or an old middle school chum post something. Maybe on the surface it seems like a good idea to give people more emoji options to express themselves. It certainly seems like something an alien or cyborg studying human nature would think we want. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP1ec7z-qZWyRFGAjXvB7kctmJs3csAYrJSo4r3582UOesMscPHpPG0Qsu6i1nlqGhBKjCyjmXTzj3ZdBJ0nK8gQ1fSYJ-uvoETfLi92gbTCFLvNvs5F2P1cg3he-7fIUpm1-7oRM02aGg/s1600/719.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="420" data-original-width="500" height="335" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP1ec7z-qZWyRFGAjXvB7kctmJs3csAYrJSo4r3582UOesMscPHpPG0Qsu6i1nlqGhBKjCyjmXTzj3ZdBJ0nK8gQ1fSYJ-uvoETfLi92gbTCFLvNvs5F2P1cg3he-7fIUpm1-7oRM02aGg/s400/719.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">In reality, it just causes more anger and confusion. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">First off, never give people the option to say they're angry online. They are always angry online! Let's look for ways to help people control their anger, not embrace and promote it. Whenever someone hits the angry emoji on a post I share, even when I know we're on the same side of the issue, it makes me more angry seeing that stupid half red emoji. Fuck that angry emoji! See. More angry just thinking about it!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Giving us 6 emojis is worse than just giving one. We all know "like" can mean a variety of things. </span>Sometimes, I like a post because it's interesting. I might like an infuriating article that I've read and want people (and the algorithms) to know I've read it, but I don't necessarily want to share it on my wall. Sometimes it's a friend's picture that I simply "like" like. Well, not "like" like, like back in middle school, but "like" as in I just like it, so I hit "like." You get it. <span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP_3gOQXe2P9ZlcI-GGGo_pnOlHc6bn4hiearbFZFqJEG0L8fb1CWpObEmHHhQ-UR7MLTDV14hM8v2py7LP3eOSdpy4kHg6gqJlIL7reQFSgl7UuPYClFGV7ISEEkNFwwvCLtBPYQ7ATYG/s1600/facebook-thumbs-up-symbol-animates-in_mkjbkw25__F0000.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP_3gOQXe2P9ZlcI-GGGo_pnOlHc6bn4hiearbFZFqJEG0L8fb1CWpObEmHHhQ-UR7MLTDV14hM8v2py7LP3eOSdpy4kHg6gqJlIL7reQFSgl7UuPYClFGV7ISEEkNFwwvCLtBPYQ7ATYG/s320/facebook-thumbs-up-symbol-animates-in_mkjbkw25__F0000.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Even with the wider range of emojis, it's not always clear what the emotion is directed at. If someone responds with "angry" at my post, what are they mad at? The story? Or my comment that went along with it? Do they hate the thing Trump did, as described in the article I shared, or do they hate my accompanying comment shitting on Trump for what he just did? Depending on the person reacting to it, it's not so easy to tell. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Plus, if my comment is sarcastic, there's another level of confusion. Are they mad at what I actually said, or what they thought I said? Did they think I was being sarcastic when I was being serious, or vice versa? It's a guessing game that can go on forever, and I don't need that stress. </span></div>
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All of the emotions have a variety of possible meanings, because emotions are deeply nuanced. "Sad" can mean a variety of things, from being upset at someone dying, to a politician losing/winning, to overall melancholy, to sarcastic shitposting. To accurately reflect even a small portion of the range of human emotions, you'd need dozens more emoji responses. And those emojis exist! You can use them on Facebook in the comments! So...what the hell is the point of all this, Zuck?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnbqdh7_NjLCjddD_cOmIuTgSXbR5I3dam7hLpAH3s-gkZ05LR1_35YsssPi5P_mhJllB4EdVdaSCbIiPpr347GiL29KycZ0MckzmevTux9pNaI8mdMTbK5Lz5g2WxtuE28jEAUhYjrl3p/s1600/facebook-emoji-comments-cryptlife.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="405" data-original-width="504" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnbqdh7_NjLCjddD_cOmIuTgSXbR5I3dam7hLpAH3s-gkZ05LR1_35YsssPi5P_mhJllB4EdVdaSCbIiPpr347GiL29KycZ0MckzmevTux9pNaI8mdMTbK5Lz5g2WxtuE28jEAUhYjrl3p/s400/facebook-emoji-comments-cryptlife.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b>So many emotions. And animals. And Floppy disks. </b><br />
<b>Do people still know what floppy disks are?</b></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">All of this is why I just "like" posts, regardless of how I feel about them. So if your granny dies and I "like" your post, just know that I don't like the fact that she died or that you're upset. My heart is with you, I swear. But I don't want to put a "heart" emoji because that seems like I love that your granny drowned in the community pool. I don't. I would put a sad emoji, but I didn't personally know her, and although I'm sad for your loss, maybe she is in a better place. A place with lifeguards on duty. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">When I "like" a news article, it can be for a number of reasons, ranging from hate to love to morbid curiosity. The same isn't true for regular people's posts. If you share a news article, you can assume that I agree with your accompanying comment. You can also assume that I actually liked your post about graduating or spending the day with loved ones at the beach when I "liked" it. However, I may or may not have liked the new shirt you were showing off. I may have actually been laughing at you and didn't want to put the "laughing" emoji. Same thing with pictures of your baby. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Share and like this post, yall!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>I Love You All...Class Dismissed. </i></span></div>
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Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-58249878321153419652018-08-14T22:37:00.004-04:002018-09-04T12:20:00.625-04:00Quintessential 90s Hip Hop Fashions<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Part 1 of this post appears <a href="https://www.90shiphopjunkie.com/the-ultimate-90s-hip-hop-fashion-vol-1/">here on 90s Hip Hop Junkie dot com</a>.<br />
<a href="https://www.90shiphopjunkie.com/quintessential-90s-hip-hop-fashion-vol-2/">Part 2 appears here</a>.<br />
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QCXrq23ii8">Despite what Sprite tried to tell us</a>, when it comes to hip hop, image has always been important. Fashion and hip hop have gone hand in hand since the very beginning. The Kangol and the Adidas track suit were almost a requirement in the late 70s and early 80s.<br />
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<img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfanWQW5Suip1Od6iZptnNxkMHkFB0FYjYja-_EekKdi8EOWSpdsYAQLCZGG59MHwS17CFR15xfWNDY0vbfgOOALCs4ljpt5pE5w-ImO3Z3jog9cBSCFgNWnDs7tPnuX8U8fzkRkyQa_nj/s320/maxresdefault.jpg" width="320" /></div>
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<b>Grandmaster Flash</b></div>
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Nowadays, rappers hardly spit a verse without mentioning their favorite fashion designer, or their own fashion label. Or they name themselves after their favorite fashion designer.<br />
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<img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyy-ERXnrWuExCaAwu1XZkLg6kBRvXBUg7JwJ2vguNSKeuM4cpzygkkLKGoi0109VpqF_a-VJ-VN3iNMmxxCUa7hTvFcFPqq9wVbhyphenhypheny9K8THXdcYxmNw0M2fod9X9pUVw3sIl6WdSAFzUe/s320/gucci-mane-2016-new.jpg" width="320" /></div>
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<b>Gucci Mane</b></div>
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In return, marketing companies use hip hop slang or fashion to target the youth (<a href="http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-01-17/where-the-slang-term-lit-came-from-and-how-big-brands-ruined-it/9335556">to various degrees of success</a>). It's safe to say fashion and hip hop have maintained an intimate connection.<br />
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Early on, a lot of hip hop fashion followed in the steps of disco fashion, which...wasn't great. Dre may be a billionaire, but he'll still never live down the style choices of his first group.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvvwmppJw0Dt9Kgtmqn8BRbc36xe-bT9vjN2CvhVZcDvzOGh9ekvqpZwtZcwqK2nYCiPzS5dr-bpRPCIyb0e5swt0kLfVNSkgwVxjLtPRmhd5PCoCIeiCCGI8YCqXul6PhJNxi59vLcBon/s1600/t54658848-gTzqd3homy3gbud5svgrciyclblu_s400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="400" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvvwmppJw0Dt9Kgtmqn8BRbc36xe-bT9vjN2CvhVZcDvzOGh9ekvqpZwtZcwqK2nYCiPzS5dr-bpRPCIyb0e5swt0kLfVNSkgwVxjLtPRmhd5PCoCIeiCCGI8YCqXul6PhJNxi59vLcBon/s320/t54658848-gTzqd3homy3gbud5svgrciyclblu_s400.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b>2 years before NWA.</b></div>
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In the 80s, when rappers realized they needed to do something to separate their image from that of the coke fueled disco era, most of hip hop fashion followed the b-boy style. This was much more suited to the target demographic and the participants. Hip hop wasn't for the disco clubs, it was for the streets, the neighborhood and basement parties. So track suits, Kangols, shell toes, Chuck Taylors, and Gazelles were the wave. If you were a dancer, maybe you rocked a headband. Someone in the crew was definitely carrying a giant boombox.<br />
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Then, when Run DMC dropped "My Adidas" in 1986, the fashion world, and the world at large, realized the influence rap could have on the consumer public. <a href="https://solecollector.com/news/2014/03/this-history-of-run-d-m-c-and-adidas-as-told-by-d-m-c">Adidas sales went through the roof </a>after the song hit the airwaves. And rappers realized the importance of style in creating their own identities. Run DMC never wore another sneaker at a performance.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_nCioi-AAlQ4XG8J5b1ezQW-q92N2CWqmGF2h66wFtN19UmhwAAC3UORLjZ_dWGKum5Ca_Z-5BEUha73SWR-BNas5dvhCDLrIKl4quIwG-mTKxgVpaBTnpsw_4tMZMqBnJIAQxeyzoPU_/s1600/rundmc-00.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="576" data-original-width="960" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_nCioi-AAlQ4XG8J5b1ezQW-q92N2CWqmGF2h66wFtN19UmhwAAC3UORLjZ_dWGKum5Ca_Z-5BEUha73SWR-BNas5dvhCDLrIKl4quIwG-mTKxgVpaBTnpsw_4tMZMqBnJIAQxeyzoPU_/s320/rundmc-00.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b>And Adidas released Run DMC sneakers, coming full circle. </b></div>
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As hip hop spread across the country, different regions expanded on the sounds and the styles of early rappers. The West Coast Gangsta aesthetic (Khakis, Chuck Taylors, plaid shirts over white tees, bandanas) became popular. The East Coast B-Boy became more rugged, with dark, baggy clothes and winter gear (skullies, boots, hoody). The 90s is a heralded era in hip hop, and it still remains influential to the sound and style of modern rap. The nostalgia centered on the era is almost as much about the fashion as the music.<br />
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Converse, Adidas, Reebok, and even Puma were the main sneaker brands among urban youth until Nike and Jordan came along. Throughout the 90s, Nike dominated with basketball sneakers and cross trainers. Besides Jordans, two of the most popular sneakers were the Bo Jacksons and the Charles Barkleys.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYaUbF7GnAO3t4_aKzL9EostK1w16sAR1PN_VyjaE5xK5XbABHdm5yj6jhBdJCsktD_jIlWkdfgeDmYJwh8gjtLGE2B3g-HKoirTMc2WWHkwZrtRm6N2LBDrjwfl7TgxZ4tcFw2wnbiOLS/s1600/801130_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1143" data-original-width="1600" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYaUbF7GnAO3t4_aKzL9EostK1w16sAR1PN_VyjaE5xK5XbABHdm5yj6jhBdJCsktD_jIlWkdfgeDmYJwh8gjtLGE2B3g-HKoirTMc2WWHkwZrtRm6N2LBDrjwfl7TgxZ4tcFw2wnbiOLS/s320/801130_1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Bo knows 90s color schematics. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7N90E_BxmoS_GhIQn-lQkZHogAlJ4FV-T3n280DQ1A4fk5o7sq4RWHxWzz4RSxP13eggwr2DMe6aFmY8LgNC8akpD3GAEseJQ8UXt9hSQBSsQHBI-7KUvrMePGfUC_NkCy_GNSxxR4hTd/s1600/Nike-Air-Max-2-Charles-Barkley-1994-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="604" data-original-width="1024" height="188" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7N90E_BxmoS_GhIQn-lQkZHogAlJ4FV-T3n280DQ1A4fk5o7sq4RWHxWzz4RSxP13eggwr2DMe6aFmY8LgNC8akpD3GAEseJQ8UXt9hSQBSsQHBI-7KUvrMePGfUC_NkCy_GNSxxR4hTd/s320/Nike-Air-Max-2-Charles-Barkley-1994-2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Reeboks had the Classics and the Pumps, then the Shaq Pumps, which required actual tools to use.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmuzMpQ-O8_i38dLjB3Etg6aaj4VdmhZV6xBbzNJHvWlgbX6CKoEkAv85qZs2fTiVxzG28Fqel-UMBga2CctmP8llCMYC8Ax3nGpn2oXwuo1nBxKH7hTfYrtLpWf0-5pWP8BcF11a-h9Bn/s1600/s-l1000.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="750" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmuzMpQ-O8_i38dLjB3Etg6aaj4VdmhZV6xBbzNJHvWlgbX6CKoEkAv85qZs2fTiVxzG28Fqel-UMBga2CctmP8llCMYC8Ax3nGpn2oXwuo1nBxKH7hTfYrtLpWf0-5pWP8BcF11a-h9Bn/s320/s-l1000.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<b>Save up for those CO2 cartridges, kids!</b></div>
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<br />
There were the incredibly heavy Ewings...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYziMqJcYpS59eWgFmfqAOAEmNNFxFY0Q6E3G5o4whHariZUSs8EUp2kUF9XuOA4pJfbzBSXjNjkM8SBHdSI9BqoDzZlr-dNHMdecoCnF0YffRU_Szi7IKMwBPCzfW0MJak3iOrPHOg7ct/s1600/shop-33hi_nyc15-main_c83463d3-d35a-4489-b25f-612cab444d93_1024x1024.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="625" data-original-width="805" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYziMqJcYpS59eWgFmfqAOAEmNNFxFY0Q6E3G5o4whHariZUSs8EUp2kUF9XuOA4pJfbzBSXjNjkM8SBHdSI9BqoDzZlr-dNHMdecoCnF0YffRU_Szi7IKMwBPCzfW0MJak3iOrPHOg7ct/s320/shop-33hi_nyc15-main_c83463d3-d35a-4489-b25f-612cab444d93_1024x1024.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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And the obnoxious LA Gear and La Tech/LA Lites...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXYg3PKDpKCxwOdUYq-kOFRr_d8UIkclwqPu_vvlftHHTUAoJKDo2V1xVCyOnzhpGUslqKcLmqqdti4KGZhnd0BapBPLvuEvASJyFCNaXStzYoHbFox4zcOIZDkAmX2kMorm25q6i0wA85/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="199" data-original-width="253" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXYg3PKDpKCxwOdUYq-kOFRr_d8UIkclwqPu_vvlftHHTUAoJKDo2V1xVCyOnzhpGUslqKcLmqqdti4KGZhnd0BapBPLvuEvASJyFCNaXStzYoHbFox4zcOIZDkAmX2kMorm25q6i0wA85/s1600/images.jpg" /></a></div>
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As well as British Knights and their BK Ratch Tech...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvu2uU_gzhGNG-Y4m3gpzoLb8Mim5hD_ZN-bdSUVj1N9YxnNtpiOW-7G0xonFYnyovVzs7PUNyuNEpsWF6LjWQljlkZMygtbm0-iOU-S5a49G2ZnSSHoHLNo7lDerWw3NHRA9VjVSKyPAm/s1600/RatchTech.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvu2uU_gzhGNG-Y4m3gpzoLb8Mim5hD_ZN-bdSUVj1N9YxnNtpiOW-7G0xonFYnyovVzs7PUNyuNEpsWF6LjWQljlkZMygtbm0-iOU-S5a49G2ZnSSHoHLNo7lDerWw3NHRA9VjVSKyPAm/s320/RatchTech.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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Fila even had a moment on top with Grant Hill's and Jerry Stackhouse's signature shoes.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUFNmWLaq0zaPCz8y4W5yPeDlttOPxajXR7M6_h4r8m9C6c_aSntNEQXxOBnzWIbaU8mTMgIRZETLZJX3ERct4fghcIBa3QogkMbj-Urqrm3jiL4E0Fz36hyMHXGyAXJwH4nbykXK3cV4r/s1600/ehpyz0aitnv4r8kvmk8f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUFNmWLaq0zaPCz8y4W5yPeDlttOPxajXR7M6_h4r8m9C6c_aSntNEQXxOBnzWIbaU8mTMgIRZETLZJX3ERct4fghcIBa3QogkMbj-Urqrm3jiL4E0Fz36hyMHXGyAXJwH4nbykXK3cV4r/s320/ehpyz0aitnv4r8kvmk8f.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9CwUr_l-bJng9PAsUTWGSDP3RDGwG6X82deG9BY3cXGTMoDYDueal9BusRmeVjPcOp8cLtsUVThm_bvmwFSUsRXlE5QbprGmHRLcciIx5RlIdnuvzm_Nt6Zaslfpw1x9xrxhOx1xfNR8m/s1600/61O4FjuvYwL._SX395_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="315" data-original-width="395" height="255" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9CwUr_l-bJng9PAsUTWGSDP3RDGwG6X82deG9BY3cXGTMoDYDueal9BusRmeVjPcOp8cLtsUVThm_bvmwFSUsRXlE5QbprGmHRLcciIx5RlIdnuvzm_Nt6Zaslfpw1x9xrxhOx1xfNR8m/s320/61O4FjuvYwL._SX395_.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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For leisure wear there were Hush Puppies, or Clark's Wallabees, which could be self-customized of course. <a href="https://solecollector.com/news/2018/06/wu-wear-clarks-originals-wallabee-release-date">Clark's finally decided to work directly with the Wu earlier this year</a>.<br />
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For jackets, there were the Avirex bombers, or the Double Goose...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8KbUyRQEESxkscY3o8KkQWBvRM9RpfhOYrOiPHzyAFGXBapGPDkT2oTgoiXehHThs2z5LmPFqlV8PR3NGDMlCl15gcvsOIx_UFZ93jHwPFyIV9q1mFQDexPYhjtOYyR-0OJ3Nw7RgQSTD/s1600/07cd88a42d2c741117ec88f161bc36bc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="450" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8KbUyRQEESxkscY3o8KkQWBvRM9RpfhOYrOiPHzyAFGXBapGPDkT2oTgoiXehHThs2z5LmPFqlV8PR3NGDMlCl15gcvsOIx_UFZ93jHwPFyIV9q1mFQDexPYhjtOYyR-0OJ3Nw7RgQSTD/s320/07cd88a42d2c741117ec88f161bc36bc.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Or the 8ball jackets for the ultra cool...<br />
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<img border="0" data-original-height="441" data-original-width="512" height="275" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkpPfJ8lg6R6wK38hGYoU7kpLJf8GFFEm0CbWuWjx-N3QF28DjuZxfO8F9KfupwUaOb9RnyxB5Ej9U9QSKPdBb_kROzA26rHpz5MqeZ1eZ0s4f0CsBlZ2r0Qs-NzpEjkfbzbXwJuMMgCuc/s320/Michael_Hoban_8_Ball_Jacket__99730_zoom.jpg" width="320" /></div>
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<b>And Puddy.</b></div>
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Of course, everyone had Starter. Either the regular jacket...<br />
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<img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="646" height="148" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5OKv7fn8i0Quqh4DMqBIRrZF4xKvsOLhOJFxrglLVEGPkp1N2CxuNDEmotcNFXoMJzzYPysEZd9Itx3yN2NQoy-bs1D6fEkcTK1AxUuoUju4h-AfP5UFpN3q_oAUCdnF5hDb3U1umQA4D/s320/c75ddddb5fee9094bc6fe706c83a53af.jpg" width="320" /></div>
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The hoody with the full zipper...<br />
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<img border="0" data-original-height="501" data-original-width="500" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbSMd4HNAVwZ7JOZgxQOXCsPUcpplh9fVbRPLYQ_HzJ73W6bg18XQugPyLc2LLi8Q5O6TTNAHm1l-J5qyhoBy5Mw6QRqd3BNEOPiKAZnaflxGWBDPulnDm4_U810XJd90pJOtrKJKh71Ro/s320/bulls-black-starter-jacket-back-in-the-day-buffet.jpg" width="319" /></div>
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Or the pullover hoody...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK7mDk00S1oYwnujzVMddzyZeZtJ4L2H1y_jL2o1KwUIDgWMn0SwJwGEiOixo5izYjNcMX5a1rN7v90t0zYfdFcwesXroy1g2oFVyYkj01g_TOLlBvbfklZw5qcDj5kXK_mn-TANej8zSc/s1600/IMG_7919.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="880" data-original-width="880" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK7mDk00S1oYwnujzVMddzyZeZtJ4L2H1y_jL2o1KwUIDgWMn0SwJwGEiOixo5izYjNcMX5a1rN7v90t0zYfdFcwesXroy1g2oFVyYkj01g_TOLlBvbfklZw5qcDj5kXK_mn-TANej8zSc/s320/IMG_7919.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Bonus points for Raiders, Bulls, UNLV, Hornets, or any other 90s expansion team.<br />
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Hoodies are a vital aspect of any Hip Hop Head's wardrobe. Starter had the jackets on lock, but Champion had the best hooded sweatshirts. Rugged outdoor gear was always popular on the East Coast, and brands like Timberland, Carhartt, Northface, Gortex, even Columbia all benefited.<br />
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For clothes in general, Tommy Hilfiger, Nautica, Polo, Karl Kani, Guess, Pelle Pelle, South Pole, Ecko, were all popular. These brands benefited from their association with hip hop but didnt necessarily acknowledge it. Then more brands with a specific "urban" focus came out, many under the direction of hip hop moguls. Russell Simmons had Phat Farm. Puffy had Sean John. Jay Z had Rocawear. Wu Tang had Wu Wear. At some point, rappers got into more designer brands like Moschino, Versace, Gucci, DKNY, and, because of Biggie's sweater, Coogi.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjtJje1vMEftoEZ-Dr4z-d1Z6vD1K9DCpPLv0tjQtP-vaFADk2rR9Wnu_iig7dT6GW3W42EvqH5yeJSOKC5vxXISOuLHV1qTzxx8tq09efEFr7Y4NO_bCBZrLmhvzJQiiOXo8pAdb3UQbF/s1600/notorious-biggie-coogi.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="872" data-original-width="780" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjtJje1vMEftoEZ-Dr4z-d1Z6vD1K9DCpPLv0tjQtP-vaFADk2rR9Wnu_iig7dT6GW3W42EvqH5yeJSOKC5vxXISOuLHV1qTzxx8tq09efEFr7Y4NO_bCBZrLmhvzJQiiOXo8pAdb3UQbF/s320/notorious-biggie-coogi.jpeg" width="286" /></a></div>
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Much of hip hop fashion comes down to what brands are hot at the time, and that can change quickly. Rocking Fubu or Sean John in the 90s was cool, but if you were still rocking them in the new millenium, it was assumed you got it on clearance at K-Mart.<br />
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The most quintessential 90s brand has to be Cross Colours. It was based in South Central, and their tagline was "clothing without prejudice" in an effort to spread social awareness at a time of high violence, AIDS, and racial tension. At its height of popularity, people like Arsenio Hall and the characters on A Different World wore it.<br />
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<img border="0" data-original-height="388" data-original-width="608" height="204" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBVn-06c-gMkDAKgtf2knNwZzNdbsYTwYepPyMmXLhUiZr3biFCQf-GFtVk-YSPd5EODKaCPJfhCmHoZ0RfFpw196BxDs2A2wUIEYRWEAc0ASiToJpZXZBM2PKllZ2pyBkgddT5LQY9K0v/s320/Mark-Wahlberg.jpg" width="320" /></div>
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<b>Mark Wahlberg AND the Funky Bunch even wore it</b>.</div>
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And I don't think anyone has worn it since January 1st, 2000. The brand seemingly evaporated with the end of the 90s.</div>
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"Keeping it real" was always been an important ethos in rap, so you were better off getting a shitty brand than a knock off. You could pull a Biggie and sew alligators on your shirt, but don't let them see the inside. You never wanted to get caught wearing the bootleg joint.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK9fDnYGlGAtPKnUVcKgGZ_xZHDgAKQlhLdLt9yl7qAsNBb_nISOefaKJ1Q8nvlA496EF9KW_6Vk3hgI1GWQR4tFAxEuZourdsrJpjYR07JjFeX__6_BSTOrJwoJAEHdWcSmGCsJfmglRY/s1600/5aec98cf2000004100b9082f.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="659" data-original-width="969" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK9fDnYGlGAtPKnUVcKgGZ_xZHDgAKQlhLdLt9yl7qAsNBb_nISOefaKJ1Q8nvlA496EF9KW_6Vk3hgI1GWQR4tFAxEuZourdsrJpjYR07JjFeX__6_BSTOrJwoJAEHdWcSmGCsJfmglRY/s320/5aec98cf2000004100b9082f.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b>As young Donald Glover reminded us in Atlanta. The 05 jerseys were hot, too</b>.</div>
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It was never all about brands though; how you rocked it was always as important. Would Adidas have looked so cool if Run DMC tied their laces like most people? Or if they were wearing corduroy pants? The coolness of the style depended on the person rocking it. If Run DMC was making electro synth dance music like Dre's World Class Wrecking Crew, that would have definitely affected people's perception of their fashion. But when you mix the no laces Adidas with the all black outfits and dooky rope chains, and you add the hard rock chords over the thumping bass with DMC's booming voice and Run's energy, you get fashion and music icons.<br />
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So things like overalls became popular for a while, and it didn't matter what brand they were, it just mattered whether you were rocking one strap or two and what was on underneath.<br />
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<img border="0" data-original-height="658" data-original-width="1100" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDKBX8linpDz6GB-qpkE6Nnm7086MWWHgffCdxxg5Mowts1BjerSSc0VdIrU3Mc-2C9A0KkdPKfu7_csLhc2JuCbFmO27FpiuLHO_tptfHxcHFu4EhY_aygfMEWYoc4oPLzrPBR0gqltLC/s320/90-greatest-90s-fashion-strap-down-overalls.png" width="320" /></div>
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<b>To be honest, not many people could rock this combination</b>. </div>
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Fitted hats didn't have to be Starter of New Era (it helped) they just had to be worn properly. Backwards, slightly to the side, straight up with a small curve in the brim, or no curve and worn over a bandana or durag.<br />
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<img border="0" data-original-height="533" data-original-width="800" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-jYTNCzgYghZcTr8XyHqx-8FznvF8dT6Dl3cC-lznGENd9EjnAA_8E77Gc4nKOTBf1WlWCM0bdfe_lngbD7CaYHLdlld0upyGDVUhChDguWE-lItUfq8H-JLe5x9pAyJKgOz1vEADPqOK/s320/Jay-Yankees.jpg" width="320" /></div>
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<b>Some things never go out of fashion.</b></div>
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Karl Kani and Guess jeans were some of the most popular, but Levis or even Old Navy were fine if they were baggy enough. Nobody knew ABC's favorite brand but we knew they wore their clothes inside out. And then we all realized how "wickety wack" that was when Kriss Kross showed us how much cooler it was to rock clothes backwards.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglGKOY107iLfeG_qGcZNHHJ6cuKhGzwQEjEvvBhRGsh0bp1XowylBeYxF3aoQ_UIczNLSFpdpxx0TGBh4-H4_U3Kk8vqiuz3cgoXDr94-PxORCmblwO4fx5jlQIriHj8BVUlSuPK_bi-e4/s1600/article-2263127-16F73FEA000005DC-186_634x822.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="822" data-original-width="634" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglGKOY107iLfeG_qGcZNHHJ6cuKhGzwQEjEvvBhRGsh0bp1XowylBeYxF3aoQ_UIczNLSFpdpxx0TGBh4-H4_U3Kk8vqiuz3cgoXDr94-PxORCmblwO4fx5jlQIriHj8BVUlSuPK_bi-e4/s320/article-2263127-16F73FEA000005DC-186_634x822.jpg" width="246" /></a></div>
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<b>Note to 13 year old self: not that cool.</b></div>
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Champion sweatpants were the best, but all that really mattered was whether you rolled up one pants leg like LL or not.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUtwdzDVeytzfKQOVnur-OAo1yPmiL9752CyP7UcYgyi55cGx-N_sTHN0DiShkeBdlK4plSVwMZjQY1e_4Y-5F1_rMG9DyWa4i__ICzirkaalfYdwdkaLVuE96iu3-xwerwdni4AjZoy7i/s1600/7f439d4b-f38e-49a2-9738-3f9127010ab7_ll-cool-j-BlackImages-Archives-getty-images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="537" data-original-width="430" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUtwdzDVeytzfKQOVnur-OAo1yPmiL9752CyP7UcYgyi55cGx-N_sTHN0DiShkeBdlK4plSVwMZjQY1e_4Y-5F1_rMG9DyWa4i__ICzirkaalfYdwdkaLVuE96iu3-xwerwdni4AjZoy7i/s320/7f439d4b-f38e-49a2-9738-3f9127010ab7_ll-cool-j-BlackImages-Archives-getty-images.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
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<b>With or without a racing jacket.</b></div>
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The best hip hop fashion styles of the 90s had nothing to do with brands and more to do with accessories. TLC could attach condoms to all of their clothes and look fly.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj24dHttkxNV-jmC3YuSXJwp-scL-WdS1-v239zKITR2ZJzQJaMcUPoVJLir3-4Pr7NuvwMc4gWAsmijwR-3eq5WMj_4GPzB9dxasJ6JPq6Ma3SQJjIYG35cDAVPWXGRL5LYykjwtbyF2S5/s1600/85e87b4a7bf912076e905bbaad4d8205.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="928" data-original-width="634" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj24dHttkxNV-jmC3YuSXJwp-scL-WdS1-v239zKITR2ZJzQJaMcUPoVJLir3-4Pr7NuvwMc4gWAsmijwR-3eq5WMj_4GPzB9dxasJ6JPq6Ma3SQJjIYG35cDAVPWXGRL5LYykjwtbyF2S5/s320/85e87b4a7bf912076e905bbaad4d8205.jpg" width="218" /></a></div>
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Mary J showed that all you needed was a cap and hoop earrings to make us fall in love.</div>
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<img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="915" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg-wJWmULxDLeAfQXFla-__gLCkUFEUGrBNGIgX59B5XZ4EuC_h1FeQSNOQVGjqzCU91gU7uGezc1ZyzN07ohfjmNVfhyKQ34lDjlN4U2ecTfhA9_TgpSQuSd35kDBpxvlssl8LvyYk9Y0/s320/thumbnail_IMG_7580.jpg" width="228" /></div>
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Jerseys were always dope, too. Mitchell & Ness were huge for throwback jerseys, and they're still popular, but customized jerseys and authentic jerseys from any sport were great. And then there was the jersey dress...</div>
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<img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKy1jR4JGAFxBq5ObXgvgLkgTiH0HcVAeokfzaqfPPNvjwunJ2nGHqKNyGcI6ZENpvr8Nl0TDL5uUNARn0hP174VoTIR1ITo5Sld3j6nSRPlC4OSUdU2tXaPs0RNSqkB91RnykLNuzbkaS/s1600/s_5ab6caa485e605ce62133a21.jpg" /></div>
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<b>This happened in 2003 but I'm including it because...come on. </b></div>
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Bucket hats, brought back recently by Schoolboy Q and Smoke DZA, were huge for a while. Only a few people could pull them off, though. </div>
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<img border="0" data-original-height="1071" data-original-width="1600" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1VXo3iaV1YaL4Uwl6HvDY2L9TBKfz7w7SPMevSXhRmI4hyphenhyphenRR9_YFjW7cUvp8-nQDHrT-KdaFZjijvEPQtEvrxm68wmWZftu9L_GJHnQO8BuxLbJMyJ6U-fPUwxgoGVJJ5VMhTWbXRg5XF/s320/epmd_group.jpg" width="320" /></div>
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<b>It helps to be one of hip hop's best duos. </b></div>
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Another thing only a few could pull off was Big Daddy Kane's lines in the eyebrow. If you didn't date Madonna in her prime, you should've never even tried.<br />
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<img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="1000" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-DA1qX_LCALQZj8nUxGA-N5bhCd67G3AVQu58M9jCAgIavUXgEisP_8uNPfOmqVR0D4t9C0NhXyoNBIoyJ-UOt74-cGtSdPDpFiTN-2slRxEDlNacg8Tduywy2tb201D98EUj9hHaWU7J/s320/Bigdaddykane-1000x1000.jpg" width="320" /></div>
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There were giant name rings...<br />
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<img border="0" data-original-height="318" data-original-width="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifk-0mukIGwBtneajX0jtqeVvAYu0UVAIVfpoeD56SV6BpGwKimHZp8UK7F6btlkbTNofEWs8BhGzUaN_CBfZIGJ2aEtka57Wdd7_Rp7t-g_7dcuF_tbkuVNhI800KbnDGGkLpHY66YCDW/s1600/doc.jpg" /></div>
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<b>Fashionable and practical.</b></div>
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Pharoahe Monch rocked the ski goggles far away from any slopes...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijpNVl8-HDnNg26DOqLgOTaH2Kc36ygem9vHnnfGVVqVfvu4ZGbtukj4BrXaK7T7KUKETqc5qZliAmLJRtuO652cEh3LTCTABpPVWCfm99OMF8MajPaKOtg-pkdMfGw6mc6npD2d16QhoU/s1600/773dafe9b351c529eeec177fb3d24e23.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="819" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijpNVl8-HDnNg26DOqLgOTaH2Kc36ygem9vHnnfGVVqVfvu4ZGbtukj4BrXaK7T7KUKETqc5qZliAmLJRtuO652cEh3LTCTABpPVWCfm99OMF8MajPaKOtg-pkdMfGw6mc6npD2d16QhoU/s320/773dafe9b351c529eeec177fb3d24e23.jpg" width="281" /></a></div>
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And piercings became popular, especially with the more alternative/weird rappers. Rappers and their fans started wearing earrings in both ears, in the nose, the eyebrow, or even the lip...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG69lz1Dl7yZpG-sx-dW1KVr3YrWlrB9MCK1Mtw-hBt3WNq9kpAzfobxpnrJoViJXOHwaL-3OPUIRHkve-aMtfLHuKMhFGMV1eyKMGfbhiwyf1LubCzRWjJEcZY0r3tweBasWwxrXbpZM5/s1600/del_the_funky_homosapien_hella_tight_bombay_fitted_04.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="286" data-original-width="540" height="169" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG69lz1Dl7yZpG-sx-dW1KVr3YrWlrB9MCK1Mtw-hBt3WNq9kpAzfobxpnrJoViJXOHwaL-3OPUIRHkve-aMtfLHuKMhFGMV1eyKMGfbhiwyf1LubCzRWjJEcZY0r3tweBasWwxrXbpZM5/s320/del_the_funky_homosapien_hella_tight_bombay_fitted_04.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Of course, there were also missteps. Bleached hair really went both ways. Eminem's bright blonde hair, for better or worse, became iconic...<br />
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<img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="495" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5Kt7M6zW9Bb3r9PybqC5kQiQRw7Qs0PmtdVQYKkgpRzyWV0mxaNPt_eeqkxY0iQ1xtF2wktX1s8V8E2FisUfr5U0UBFIHYCWTtxQOeCkwrWTEWqXiaah6SFGDq6pu-enxJ-vSQQ3Y3qsC/s320/tumblr_nu4f388J5p1s5w2hoo1_500.jpg" width="211" /></div>
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While others were more...moronic...<br />
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<img border="0" data-original-height="615" data-original-width="460" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2BkVBKNRyTbLVC6TFQ2yt7Cb6Sa_afCHUGj0ml3OfaCllj-6DrON3zvguLU0HIHLCFEAlddjezvTyeWuxN3yudXgxVI6lk8XLvWz7Yezv44igiwhjAyCJYYmbJ69hXrmMmU54Wdobjyd-/s320/justin-timberlake-young--1364982486-view-0.jpg" width="239" /></div>
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Then there were the baby binkies. Lil Mama might have been the most famous offender in the 2000s, but a lot of people who should've known better <a href="http://articles.baltimoresun.com/1992-11-23/features/1992328203_1_pacifiers-accessory-safety-pin" target="_blank">walked around chewing on these things in the 90</a>s.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMcZJwKiRzDjwR-SMkx_QnyB5PJ4BVLbejW11Ys0cNZASAXGDQVsn9WtDgp0PeEzJ-jdhpzsTiSYv0ZeUqUEXU8Gy0U3GC-jNl5qxo24jrHD-UVgEAQcU3iK6bKrtUYYe09rmgQe4-KURz/s1600/lil_mama.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="300" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMcZJwKiRzDjwR-SMkx_QnyB5PJ4BVLbejW11Ys0cNZASAXGDQVsn9WtDgp0PeEzJ-jdhpzsTiSYv0ZeUqUEXU8Gy0U3GC-jNl5qxo24jrHD-UVgEAQcU3iK6bKrtUYYe09rmgQe4-KURz/s320/lil_mama.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<b>It's not your fault, Lil Mama.</b></div>
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There were other missteps too, such as Hammer pants. Admittedly, I bought a pair of Skidz (not exactly Hammer pants, but basically the same) so I contributed to the problem, but if you ever wore them you know...they were comfortable as hell.<br />
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<img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="669" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLdq2LlHZN0e5c_jpmjMrGxu1LOcHRde1uhNA3P-0cgffv_H4M3rPp1kypivs7i7clJ_2ZsYqERsELJv-yGlj2ghyphenhyphenb4Ad1F-ZYp0E-yLOhdj5xlhoePHkIt2cem1F5k4aHonLqYgDaqJBh/s320/1980s+Skidz+advert.jpg" width="267" /></div>
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<b>Don't hurt em.</b></div>
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When it comes to silly but not regrettable fashion trends, there were the spray painted shirts you could get at Six Flags, or if you were lucky, a neighborhood artist. White tees with bright graffiti proclaiming your name, or your love for your girlfriend, or your dead friend's name, were everywhere, and remain a staple at fairs and carnivals across the country.<br />
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But the best t-shirt trend of the 90s were the Kriss Kross Bugs & Taz shirts, with Black Bart Simpson a close second.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4I2YHW3AB5oIpwL1T9ZXSba44QVd2OeZ9noUNki2xlLml4wODZSv0ODPoemq-PCpkVCaAWug1guXt_1Zp08l4O5dTIjISJ1j4451kdbNwwGj-yBLD7JdMg-0FkqLHHSIhgsrh8zri6eTS/s1600/maxresdefault.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4I2YHW3AB5oIpwL1T9ZXSba44QVd2OeZ9noUNki2xlLml4wODZSv0ODPoemq-PCpkVCaAWug1guXt_1Zp08l4O5dTIjISJ1j4451kdbNwwGj-yBLD7JdMg-0FkqLHHSIhgsrh8zri6eTS/s320/maxresdefault.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b>This was the cover for <span style="text-align: left;">Roc Marciano's recent EP with Knxwledge. How perfect is he?</span></b></div>
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<span style="text-align: left;"><img border="0" data-original-height="474" data-original-width="460" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCeyhVLLpecjgNtscRM9ovBb1i4F-_Et_Ue6_fYx3Awo0UrKz9hELkQhDE0EIrOEkco25tf80lqqyzCXGJEaQmgLsI0DSZN8hwR074R064xrve08YyFP6DzOtwHV0PKXdggg9A9xePAg-1/s320/thumbnail_IMG_7578.jpg" style="text-align: center;" width="310" /></span></div>
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Hip hop was literally created by taking other art and making something new with it, "remixing" it, so these items were the perfect reflection of hip hop style. Everybody knew these characters, but here they were presented in a new, fresh way that resonated with a hip hop audience.<br />
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Some fashion trends are flashes in the pan (hopefully we never go back to sucking on binkies) but some leave a more permanent mark. Cross Colours perfectly reflects 90s fashion, but will never be worn again. Timberlands and will always be fashionable and forever tied to 90s NY hip hop. As a product of the East Coast, I am completely biased, but <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcIt2F6TNOo" target="_blank">Timz & a Hoody</a> is the ultimate hip hop outfit.<br />
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It seems most of current hip hop fashion is a variation, or remix, of 90s fashion. Some (like Lil Uzi Vert) even take from 90s grunge or metal fashion. A lot of the same brands are around, and have immersed themselves into hip hop culture even more by signing deals with rappers to promote or design their gear (Kanye with Adidas, Kendrick with Reebok, etc.). Fashion and hip hop work so well together because rebelliousness, originality, and novelty are key components, and they both can be a powerful form of self-expression. What we listen to and what we wear reflects who we are and often helps us define who we are. Plus, both art forms are always pushing the envelope with an ear to the streets for the next big thing, so it makes sense that they have become so intertwined. Thankfully, hip hop pioneers in the 80s and 90s made the fashion world take notice.<br />
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<i>I Love You All...Class Dismissed. </i></div>
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Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-3624717838062632262018-08-01T16:54:00.002-04:002018-08-06T16:38:40.553-04:00Let's Talk About Sex and Hip Hop: How 90s Rap Helped Stem the AIDS Epidemic<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Hip hop has always been a reflection of society, yet since its inception, certain people have blamed hip hop for society's problems; it's been labeled the cause of violence, drug use, Fred Durst, even AIDS. It still gets the blame whenever a conservative needs a convenient scapegoat for mass shootings. Or when their own kid is caught with cocaine. It must be that damn rap music!<br />
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There are valid criticisms of rap (and all art) for its content and the influence it has on consumers, but most arguments focus only on the negative and miss the point of influence. Biggie talking about selling drugs and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6df0rha_Opw">kidnapping a Knicks player</a> isn't going to make me want to do the same. But Biggie wearing a Coogi sweater might make me want to get one. Biggie saying, "<i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_Z_B7UQ5bU">Now I throw shields on the dick, to stop me from that HIV shit</a></i>" might make me think twice about going bareback. Throw in Snoop saying, "<i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DI3yXg-sX5c">I got a pocket full of rubbers and my homeboys do too,</a></i>" and Ghostface Killah telling his boy to "<i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFXkqef3Njk">take this raincoat, and practice safe sex,</a></i>" and protecting yourself from STDs and unwanted pregnancy becomes the cool thing to do. And when it comes to reaching people, especially young people, nothing works better than cool.<br />
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=9150686495777545338" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=9150686495777545338" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><img src="https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/315/1*LqszYoloTnOdviaSavNzvQ.jpeg" /><br />
<span style="text-align: left;"><b>Ask Phillip Morris.</b></span></div>
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Critics argue that rappers promote promiscuity, but studies have shown that hip hop had no negative effect on people's sexual behavior. <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2377296/">This study from the National Institutes of Health</a> states, "Popular discourses on young men’s health risks often blame youths’ cultures such as the hip hop culture for increased risk practices but do not critically examine how risk emerges in urban young men’s lives and what aspects of youths’ culture can be protective." The authors of the study claim that Hip hop did not lead to riskier behaviors, and more studies should be done on the positive, or "protective" qualities of hip hop. Nothing says protective like promoting condoms, and it's quite possible that hip hop not only had a positive effect on sexual behavior, but that it played a vital role in helping to stem the HIV/AIDs epidemic in the 90s.<br />
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Throughout the 80s and 90s, HIV was rampant in the US. Once people realized it wasn't just killing off "the gays," the realities of the disease caused nationwide panic. TV shows and movies started to address the crisis. Hip hop, the most socially aware genre of music in history, constantly reminded its listeners, and viewers, of the dangers of HIV and the benefits of safe sex.<br />
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<img height="400" src="https://i.pinimg.com/originals/57/18/6e/57186e893d498bac0774b9b75f9fc023.jpg" width="280" /></div>
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<b>It wasn't exactly subtle either.</b></div>
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As usual, women led the way. In 1990, fresh off the success of their provocative "Push It," Salt-n-Pepa came back with an educational after school special of a song that somehow became a hit. "Let's Talk About Sex" was all over MTV, BET and mainstream radio. I remember hearing it in the car with a friend's parent and getting embarrassed, but it's such a good song that we were all singing the chorus by the end of it, with my friend's mom emphasizing "<i>and the BAD things that may be.</i>"<br />
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The song wasn't preaching, it was fun, and conversations about sex should be fun. Kids are more likely to learn that way, but most adults are so uptight about sex that they can't overcome their own discomfort long enough to discuss it with children.<br />
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Salt-n-Pepa was by no means the first to mention the merits of condoms and safe sex. It was just the most earnest, and frankly, the most popular instance, so it was the most important. They reached an audience a lot of earlier rappers didn't.<br />
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The Teacha, KRS One, deserves a lot of credit for his contributions to providing comprehensive sex education to 80s kids. In 1988, Boogie Down Production released "Jimmy," where KRS says: “<i>Jimmy hats are now in style ‘cause you can’t trust a big butt and a smile.</i>” That song is loaded with gems like: "<i>drippin jimmy’s is straight up wack.</i>" The shit is absolutely hilarious, but at the time, HIV was ravaging the country, and the federal government was openly mocking gays and <a href="https://www.vox.com/2015/12/1/9828348/ronald-reagan-hiv-aids">calling people gay for even asking about HIV</a>. Then here comes KRS telling straight men (who he calls "super hoes," so he was ahead of his time on gender equality, too) to wrap it up. It wasn't just gay people who needed to be careful. There was nothing like this in music at the time. BDP didnt exactly make it to mainstream radio, but this song was a legitimate rap hit. About putting on a rubber. In Reagan's America.<br />
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Of course, there's one more legend we can't overlook for his contribution to keeping your jimmy from drippin. Kool Moe Dee. The epitome of cool (it's in the name!). Before he was a "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJPH7FNLZVo">player</a>" he had to go see the doctor. This was a cautionary tale about the consequences of unprotected sex. "<i>As I turned around to receive my injection, I said "Next time I'll use some protection.</i>" This was 1986, two years earlier than BDP. It was straight up comedy, but it was no joke. Again, the best way to teach young people is using humor and fun, and there's not many songs as fun as this.<br />
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"Jimmy hats" became a popular term in rap in the late 80s and 90s. It was like a rebranding of the too technical "condoms" and too silly "rubbers." Jimmy hats was a clever, funny term created by hip, young black men. Hip hop slang, though often ridiculed, travels the world and eventually becomes mainstream. (Remember how many old white people said "fleek" in 2016? They used it mockingly at first, but they used it.) The term "jimmy hats" maintains that sense of coolness that is so important in reaching young people when it comes to changing risky behavior.<br />
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KRS may have pioneered using the term "jimmy" in a song, but others weren't far behind. In Digital Underground's awesome 1990 single, "Same Song," everyone's favorite fake-nosed rapper Humpty says:<br />
<i>Pull out my jimmie, time to get busy wit a Jenny</i><br />
<i>If it's good and plenty, don't you know</i><br />
<i>There I go, there I go, there I go</i><br />
<i>But I don't go nowhere without my jim hat</i><br />
<i>If I'm rapping, 'cause she's clapping</i><br />
<i>Then I'm strapping 'cause I'm smarter than that</i><br />
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In 1991, former NWA member Ice Cube released "Look Who's Burnin." The song starts with people talking at a clinic, with one guy saying "I came here to get some rubbers." The nurse lists off STDs. Then Ice Cube comes in and raps:<br />
<i>I went to the free clinic, it was filled to capacity</i><br />
<i>Now how bad can a piece of ass be?</i><br />
<i>Very bad, so I had to make the trip</i><br />
<i>and thank God, I didn’t have the drips</i><br />
<i>I was there so a hoe couldn’t gimme that</i><br />
<i>Just to get – twenty free jimmy hats.</i><br />
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<b>One of the top comments on that video says: </b><br />
<b>"One of the main reasons I always kept condoms on me...Thankz Cube!"</b></div>
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The same year Ice Cube dropped that song endorsing condoms and clinical check-ups, Magic Johnson was diagnosed with HIV. To say it was a shock doesn't do it justice. The electric chair is a shock. This was an asteroid landing on our heads. The NBA and hip hop have always been closely connected, and Magic's diagnosis reverberated through hip hop culture. There were the obvious jokes but there was also serious concern. If Magic, an icon, a hero, can get this disease, that meant anyone could. It wasn't just the black community or basketball or hip hop community that felt it, it was the whole world waking to this realization.<br />
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That's why it was so iconic and powerful when TLC debuted in 1992 and Left Eye wore the condom as an eye patch.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=9150686495777545338"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=9150686495777545338"></a><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZTwONOW3PRPqstRNPoMAdH8LBKnmlK00SA5KN-GKPymVNC5kT808K18PHIkNfcwOzkhRfhH_nuOERk9qAi-B3JLZGcpsVQycmpOHkhlMA_p9InvdSpFsEvr2ICkUQSnnyxHYqvQxc99dW/s400/left-eye-condom-1493130110-compressed.jpg" /></div>
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<b>I can't explain the hat though.</b></div>
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It couldn't be ignored. The whole group often wore condoms as accessories. It was a fashion statement with a message. It was provocative, because everything related to sex is provocative in this uptight country, but they were promoting safety as well as female and self empowerment. They showed that women could take control of their own sexual health. They may not have been too proud to beg for sex, but they were too proud to have it unprotected.<br />
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Many other rappers deserve credit as well. There were countless lines promoting safe sex in the 90s. In Bonita Applebum, one of hip hop's greatest love songs, Q-Tip lets people know that "<i>if you need em, I got crazy prophylactics.</i>" That was before TLC came out, and later, his rhyming partner (RIP Phife) reupped the claim, even shouting out the ladies who had become synonymous with condoms: "<i>But just in case I got more condoms than TLC.</i>"<br />
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There were also some...questionable references to safe sex. You'd think the man responsible for creating the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEUX-HYRtUA">Hip Hop Love Ballad</a> would be a little smoother with his sexual metaphors. And yet, he released "Pink Cookies in a Plastic Bag Getting Crushed By Buildings." As a single!<br />
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<b>This came out in 1993 and I had no idea it was a metaphor for safe sex until 2017.</b></div>
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<b>It still makes no damn sense, but good job I guess, LL.</b></div>
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Jay Z once said he "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frIA7tuBqqY"><i>got a condo with nothing but condoms in it.</i></a>" Damn, Shawn, not even a fridge? Or a bed? Where are you gonna use those condoms? There's not even a rug you can lay out on the floor? It seems a bit excessive.<br />
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Dre Dre had an extended verse about his experience with STDs. If I had to guess, I'd say the doctor has had to treat himself a few times:<br />
<i>And before me dig out a bitch I have ta’ find a contraceptive</i><br />
<i>You never know she could be earnin’ her man,</i><br />
<i>And learnin’ her man, and at the same time burnin’ her man</i><br />
<i>Now you know I ain’t wit that shit, Lieutenant</i><br />
<i>Ain’t no p**sy good enough to get burnt while I’m up in it"</i><br />
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Many rappers like Dre focused on the consequences of unprotected sex to shame people who didn't protect themselves. Shame can have a powerful effect, too. It was not cool to get "burned." We all loved Ol' Dirty Bastard, but we didn't want to be like him and get burned not once, but "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZozC4waJso">actually two times goddammit.</a>" Unfortunately, a lot of the shame tactics turned into anger at women, a common male tactic, which is why TLC's fashion statement was so powerful in a male dominated industry.<br />
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For the hip hop community, HIV/AIDS hit even closer to home in 1995 with the death of Eazy E. There became a sense of urgency to address the virus in the hip hop community and society as a whole. This was at a time when hip hop was becoming the most popular music genre in the country, so its impact was being felt on a massive scale.<br />
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In that year, 1995, <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/nchhstp/newsroom/docs/factsheets/todaysepidemic-508.pdf" target="_blank">there were more deaths from AIDS in the United States than ever before</a>. There were well founded fears of a new age plague.<br />
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In 1996, the immensely successful Wu Tang Clan, fresh off a classic debut and several successful solo albums, decided to use their considerable influence for good. They came together with many other popular rappers (Common! Spice 1! Coolio!) to release "America is Dying Slowly," <a href="https://noisey.vice.com/en_ca/article/8gxb3b/20-years-ago-coolio-de-la-soul-and-the-rest-of-rap-chipped-in-to-raise-hivaids-awareness">an album full of warnings and advice about HIV/AIDS</a>. On the lead song, "America," Wu Tang raps in the chorus:<br />
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<i>AIDS kills, word up respect this, yo</i><br />
<i>Coming from the Wu, it's real</i><br />
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Here were some of the best and most popular rappers in the world talking about the dangers of unprotected sex and AIDS over a 1996 RZA beat. Incredible.<br />
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This album went deep. These artists took real time and effort to make quality music with a powerful message. RZA even gave a great line about the popular conspiratorial claims about HIV:<br />
<i>Overcome with passion, big ass want lust upon him<br />But nigga he forsake to grab the condom<br />Fuck it, he said AIDS, was government made<br />To keep niggas afraid so they won't get laid no babies be made<br />And the black population will decrease within a decade<br />German warfare product against the dark shade</i><br />
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They dismissed the myths about AIDS and gave real life advice. It wasn't just a "my label wants me to do something positive" thing. They saw people dying in their community at a rapid pace and knew how serious the situation was, so they decided to do something about it.<br />
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By all accounts, it worked. There was a drastic drop in the number of AIDs related deaths in 1996. Many people credit the antiretroviral drugs that became widely available that year, and sure they deserve some credit (okay, a lot of credit) but it's not a reach to say that hip hop played a significant role in raising awareness about the disease.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIXLPWbuZWlRZF9GPku9VNCMjrtfxAG_wazpeKIVMOvbwfGqpOHswW3igRqhkAAwDW5noMjCX7O5jxUUy5PIrlcrdH20MH08_E2Apj6MsyUKy5FufQUamFgXRzvdyLCyjhzfpEHT331BQO/s1600/fig21-eng.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="584" data-original-width="977" height="380" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIXLPWbuZWlRZF9GPku9VNCMjrtfxAG_wazpeKIVMOvbwfGqpOHswW3igRqhkAAwDW5noMjCX7O5jxUUy5PIrlcrdH20MH08_E2Apj6MsyUKy5FufQUamFgXRzvdyLCyjhzfpEHT331BQO/s640/fig21-eng.gif" width="640" /></a></div>
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Despite the rapid drop in AIDS related deaths in the late 90s, HIV/AIDS and STDs never went away, and rappers never stopped promoting safe sex.<br />
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In 2003, Freeway rapped: "<i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5LASJm1HdY">And she want me to sneak in the building like trolls and a toy, Best believe there's Trojans involved, hats lift over the boy, oh boy.</a></i>"<br />
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In 2007, Beanie Sigel, always brilliant, provocative, and politically incorrect, rapped: "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upDsfi12nM4"><i>I'm Ruthless, but nothin like Eazy, </i><i>I keep a pocket full of Magnums, believe me</i></a>."<br />
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In 2008, the guy who made eating buttholes popular said: "<a href="https://genius.com/Lil-wayne-lollipop-remix-lyrics"><i>Safe sex is great sex, </i><i>better wear a latex </i><i>cuz u dont want that late text, </i></a><i><a href="https://genius.com/Lil-wayne-lollipop-remix-lyrics">that 'I think I'm late' text.</a>"</i><br />
<i><br /></i>Hip hop's promotion of safe sex is so well known that even condom manufacturers and brands took notice. In 2004, a company called Jimmie Hatz (great name!) marketed condoms to the young "urban" crowd. This had the added benefits of <a href="http://www.foxnews.com/story/2004/01/08/company-targets-teens-with-hip-hop-condoms.html">making the people at Fox News blow a fuse</a>.<br />
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Magnum condoms, a brand popular with rappers for the...genital implications, <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/28/business/media/28adco.html">saw their sales boosted 14 percent from 2001-2010</a>. They largely attribute that boost to rappers referencing the brand in their songs, such as Ludacris ("<i>Stop by the convenience store and pick up them rubbers, Magnum I hope</i>") and Rick Ross ("<i>Hit the Dodge lot I must've copped six Magnums/ Marriott suite, I must've used six magnums</i>"). In 2010, with their first ever marketing campaign (they literally did not run ads because they relied on the free publicity from rappers) they held a rap contest in 2010 to see who could come up with the best song about Magnums.<br />
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Even the current White Boy Wonder G-Eazy referenced condoms just last year on a hit song: "<i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_lblj8Cq0o">keep a Costco pack of rubbers by my night stand</a>." H</i>e's smart and thrifty!<br />
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Everyone seems to focus on the risky behavior that rap "promotes," such as promiscuity, but if the argument is that rap influences people, logically (considering the abundance of condom references) some of that influence must be positive.<br />
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Hip hop, for all the ridiculous blame it receives for society's problems, never got the credit it deserved for raising awareness about HIV/AIDS. The genre was highly influential in avoiding a much worse AIDS epidemic in the 90s and remains an important tool in promoting safe sex.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE8AnwDsDvRCv23MWhiDPh_JZi4tdyW0nSkvrPx5nqLJYTlWZo-tZEYlbSMgxlTHAkcNxtDJU_QCMeR54U49nwgCtaKOHcrb8K6r0Twk4C4KvRY79Vf0aTVKs7WnZtpUd1FxvnRvvInU9k/s1600/7f62b75c6f6d7db435e3ae9b13e18f39.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="307" data-original-width="392" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE8AnwDsDvRCv23MWhiDPh_JZi4tdyW0nSkvrPx5nqLJYTlWZo-tZEYlbSMgxlTHAkcNxtDJU_QCMeR54U49nwgCtaKOHcrb8K6r0Twk4C4KvRY79Vf0aTVKs7WnZtpUd1FxvnRvvInU9k/s320/7f62b75c6f6d7db435e3ae9b13e18f39.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>I Love You All...Class Dismissed.</i></div>
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Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150686495777545338.post-41910107890088937662018-07-23T13:27:00.001-04:002018-07-30T11:54:24.170-04:00Roc Marciano Continues His Winning Streak<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="http://www.90shiphopjunkie.com/new2/roc-marcianos-latest-ep-continues-his-winning-streak/">This article appears on 90s Hip Hop Junkie.</a><br />
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Roc Marciano isn’t just a rapper with a “90s aesthetic” trying to appeal to hipsters and old heads; he is a 90s rapper. Literally. Anyone familiar with the NY hip hop scene knows Roc’s bio, but for those who aren’t, he began with Busta Rhyme’s Flipmode Squad, then left in 2001 to form the UN with three other NY underground rappers. Throughout the 2000s he had some scene stealing appearances with the Wu, and in 2010 he released his self-produced debut solo album Marcberg. He hasn’t looked back since.<br />
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<img alt="Image result for roc marciano" class="aligncenter" src="https://i.ticketweb.com//i/00/00/27/81/00/xArtist.jpg,qv=3,qv=4,qv=5,qv=6,qv=7.pagespeed.ic.TxbKWHj-tu.jpg" /></div>
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<span style="text-align: left;"><b>Rakeem Calief Myer aka Roc Marciano</b></span></div>
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In the past two years, he released two excellent albums, Rosebudd’s Revenge and Rosebudd’s Revenge 2: The Bitter Dose, possibly the best albums in a catalogue with no misses. Roc is back with a quickstrike EP called Warm Hennessy, a collection of 4 loosies with several remixes and instrumentals. A lot of fans may have already heard most of the verses on here, but the remixes are different (and good) enough to enjoy this as a fresh release. Former UN member Dino Brave, along with frequent collaborator Hus Kingpin and others, join the New York legend on the mic, while the Arch Druids provide the beats, and J-Force and others deliver the remixes.<br />
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In typical Roc fashion, the EP is grimy yet lush, cold as ice but perfect for summer nights on the stoop. The album cover features what looks like a vintage picture of New York City, with the Empire State Building centered prominently. It perfectly symbolizes what you will experience once you pop in the cass…um, the mp3s. <a href="https://goodfelons.bandcamp.com/album/warm-hennessy-ep">Or cop the vinyl on bandcamp</a>.<br />
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Although Roc follows a winning formula, his style doesn’t get stagnant and he never wallows in shallow nostalgia. Instead of forcing you to try to feel something of a 90s NY vibe, Roc is firmly in the present; he has simply been molded and defined by a certain era, an era that many hip hop heads wish never ended. An era captured by the cover art. An era that many newcomers (and even veterans) try to emulate yet most merely imitate.<br />
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Roc’s longevity and adherence to his singular vision allows him to find a sweet spot between nostalgia and living in the current moment. Much like fellow NY artists KA and Westside Gunn, Roc has created his own aesthetic. If he was a movie director, he'd be called an auteur. Not one to follow trends, even the ones he started, Roc slightly switches up the sound on this EP. The Arch Druids worked with Roc before on <em>Emeralds</em>,<em> Here I Am</em>, and<em> Marksmen</em>, and they have added a few more street bangers to their mutual collection. With typical (but not tired) rap drums, there’s more percussion than recent Roc releases, but he delivers his expected wit and wordplay over the gritty soundscape. All of the guests contribute solid verses, in particular Hus Kingpin on the title track, and the horns during the chorus on <em>Bo$$ Material</em> feel like a guest verse on their own.<br />
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Since 2010, Roc's career has emulated that of his namesake: he’s favored to win, he should win, and he does win. It's good to switch up the formula a little, which Roc does here, but if the overall formula works this well, there's no need for drastic changes. After all, Rocky Marciano was 49-0. Although it lacks the cohesiveness of his albums, and it doesn’t reach their heights, this EP is another notch on Roc’s championship belt.<br />
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<img alt="Image result for rocky marciano" class="aligncenter" height="345" src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/LmbUeB11eCI/maxresdefault.jpg" width="420" /></div>
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<span style="text-align: left;"><b>Rocky Marciano would be proud</b></span></div>
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<i>I Love You All...Class Dismissed.</i></div>
Geoff Elterichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08207499846604735891noreply@blogger.com0