They Just Be Concealing It

"Racism's still alive, they just be concealing it." Pre-Kardashian Kanye West

In college, the worst insult imaginable to me was "frat boy."

Now, I may look like a typical college fraternity member, and I did my fair share of partying in college, so I get it. But the term "frat boy" encapsulates the type of person I've tried my whole life to avoid becoming or even being around: arrogant, entitled, self-important, exclusionary, condescending, and fucking clueless. 

I try not to generalize, but when it comes to fraternities, I'm okay with doing so. Frat boys are the worst.

That's the University of Oklahoma chapter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon (SAE). You've probably heard about or seen the video. Watch it again. Look and listen to the pure joy emanating from these assholes as they talk about excluding blacks from their exclusive club and even lynching them. Bruno Mars doesn't look this happy when he sings Uptown Funk.

The President of UofO immediately expelled two of the students involved, and the national headquarters of SAE closed the UofO chapter. Close the chapter, end the book on racism. Problem solved!

Anybody who thinks this was an isolated incident and doesn't represent a larger issue among SAE, fraternities, and the country as a whole needs a reality check (looking at you, mainstream media). This song was deeply ingrained in these guys. It was taught to them by older frat brothers, not Waka Flocka Flame (if it was a soft "a" instead of the hard "er", that reasoning might have made a little bit of sense).

Don't take it from me, though, take it from one of the first ever (and probably last ever) black SAE members. 

Or take it from these tweets:

@sportsmediaLM I've been to SAE parties at texas schools and heard that exact same chant actually.
— Allen OU (@THEREALALLENOU) March 9, 2015

So this user posted on reddit almost 30 days ago the same chant that #SAE chanted in those leaked video. pic.twitter.com/UL2D99VQBZ
— Tyler Fisher (@tylergfisher) March 9, 2015

#SAEHatesMe MT @MikeEvans25: I was an SAE at a university in TX from 2000-04. The exact same chant was often used then. This is not isolated
— Neetzan Zimmerman (@neetzan) March 9, 2015

This is the type of shit white people do when they know there are no minorities around. Eddie Murphy called it out 30 years ago on SNL and not much has changed. Thankfully, social media is exposing a lot of people.

I never experienced the level of racism seen in this video (in college anyway) but I went to UConn. Not to say racism didn't or doesn't exist in Connecticut (it most certainly does) but it ain't Oklahoma. There was a chapter of SAE at UConn, though, and they were by far the biggest douchebags of all the frats. In fact, a couple of my friends (who, I just realized, happened to be non-white) were jumped by SAE dickheads one night. A kid threw a sucker-headbutt, 10-12 of his boys jumped in, then they all ran away after 20 seconds.

All frats were dickheads, but these were the King Dicks. They were the main inspiration for EAD (Eat A Dick) the anti-frat my friends and I started. No pledging, no hazing, no fees, no rape, no discrimination; you know, the exact opposite of a typical frat. 

Besides the two kids who were expelled, most of these SAE guys will face no real consequences. They'll still graduate and take over their father's business or go to Wall Street and fuck over all the low-income people they can. They have deep roots and deep pockets, and they eventually become politicians and business leaders.

Oh, and by the way, the two expelled kids are already considering suing the school. Yup, they really learned their lesson.

As always when people say dumb, horrible shit and face consequences, there are cries of "freedom of speech!" from those who don't really understand what that means. These kids weren't arrested right? They're tongues weren't cut out? Ok then. They simply don't get to attend a particular institution because that institution has rules against discrimination and creating a hostile environment.

The one good thing about the video is that it has brought to light the abhorrent racism lying just beneath the surface of so many powerful, historic organizations. Unfortunately, because it's so blatantly racist (except to the kids' parents of course) people call it an isolated incident. This type of racism is an aberration because "racism is on it's last legs." We like to think that we have moved beyond this as a society, but really we have just moved on from talking about it in any serious manner. Racists know that outright racism isn't accepted so they have become better at hiding it. That's the only reason this was so shocking. We all know what fraternities and private clubs are like, we just usually never see it out in the open.

Racism is usually expressed in much more subtle ways these days. Plus, racists have become so adept at dodging charges of racism, that anyone who is called racist is the real victim. You are the real racist if you point out or talk about racism. Most white Americans believe reserve-racism is not only a thing that exists, but is actually worse than racism directed towards minorities. Yes, truly it is the white man who suffers most. We can't even say "n*gger" without getting shit for it!

These are thoughts of actual people. I was convinced for a while that people who say things like this only exist as online trolls or in overly sanctimonious TV specials about racism. Nobody really feels that way, or rather, only a small, very vocal percentage of old people really feel that way. That mentality is dying out with the Baby Boomers. This generation is different! We are accepting of all types! And the younger generation doesn't even have types!

Truly an enlightened generation.

I'm not naive, but I wanted to believe that. I had almost convinced myself things were better (especially in enlightened Connecticut!) when I met a young woman who reinforced my worst beliefs about race relations in America. We were talking about the Coca Cola Super Bowl commercial, in which "America the Beautiful" was performed in Spanish. I didn't give much thought to the commercial, but I was aware of the "national outrage" taking place in certain sectors of the media. I even expected that reaction when I saw the commercial. Some people make a good living off outrage, especially if they are outraged at white people losing their positions of dominance. Still, a part of me believed (or maybe just wanted to believe) that most normal young people didn't really feel that way. Jen proved otherwise. I knew I was in for a treat when she sucked her teeth and called the commercial disgraceful. How dare they have some foreigners singing America the Beautiful in spanish! Half these immigrants are illegal and live off my taxes!

I had to ask myself if I was really talking to a human being or a living parody of an out-of-touch conservative; sort of an unfunny Stephen Colbert with no self-awareness.

Unfortunately, she was all too real. And like most racists, she had no reservations about saying these things because she assumed I would agree, being white and all. The accuracy of that Eddie Murphy sketch is fucking uncanny.

Well, I decided a long time ago that I can't let that shit slide. I stated my opinion, but I'm non-confrontational, so the subject was quickly changed. I'll gladly try to change people's minds on certain issues, but only if they are ready and willing. I don't push my views on others. If you care to hear my views, I'll gladly share them, and we can have a respectful conversation about them.

Respectful is the key word. I've had plenty of encounters go the other way. Because of my views or interests or whatever the hell reasoning idiots use, I've been called wigger--excuse me--w*gger, and n*gger-lover on several occasions. No, I didn't hop in a Delorean back to the 50s, I was actually called n*gger-lover in the 90s-00s. I'm never personally offended at these terms though. They bother me because they imply that there are certain ways of acting defined as "black" that are inherently bad, or that being friends with blacks is bad. Still, these names don't irk me as much as "frat boy" because they say more about the person using the insult than the person being insulted. If a person uses n*gger lover as an insult, you never have to take that person seriously ever again.

When it's something that blatant, or something like the SAE bus chant, it is (or should be) easy to say you want no part of it. It's harder when it's something less aggressively racist, or when it's from someone close to you. Over the years, I've been told by several people close to me that I'm obsessed with race. I only wish I had the comedian Hari Kondabolu's response: "Telling me that I’m obsessed with talking about racism in America is like telling me I’m obsessed with swimming when I’m drowning."

The metaphor works better coming from a person of color, obviously, but just being aware of the realities of institutional racism and discrimination and pointing them out is exhausting. It's an uphill battle and a possible confrontation at all times. Micro-aggressions are everywhere, if you care to look. As Jon Stewart said, you don't need to be singing an "Anti-Negro Spiritual" on camera to be a racist. Maybe your pouring beer at a beerfest and you jumped at the sight of a black man approaching, then jokingly explained, "I thought you had a knife or something!" That's just one small example of a real life micro-aggression I've witnessed recently. Why should I be made to feel uncomfortable if I call out something like that? Why should I feel like I can't speak my mind when I'm the one pushing for equality? Why is it the  bigoted assholes who so openly, so assuredly express their views with no concern for others?

The answer to that question lies within the question itself: they have no concern for others.

These SAE have no concern for anybody but themselves. It's not that hard to take other people's feelings into consideration. This video should make any normal person sick. Hopefully it makes people aware of how rampant this way of thinking is in our country. For those white people who are tired of seeing videos like this (or videos of police killing unarmed minorities) and just want everybody to get over this whole race thing, imagine how minorities feel. It's easy for white people to say we have moved beyond racism, that we are post-racial, because it doesn't affect us as directly. In fact, the structures of racism often benefit us.

However, on a human level, it does affect all of us negatively. Unless we attempt to understand how our conscious and subconscious racism drags down the oppressor, the oppressed, we're never going to make any real progress as a society.

It's important to honestly address this issue. Maybe this video will lead to more open discussion. It's not an easy conversation, but that's exactly why we need to have it. At the very least, let's take the advice of Sly and The Family Stone and stop calling each other names.

I Love You All(Even You, Whitey)...Class Dismissed.

Charlie Chaplin, The Dress, and Our Declining Attention Spans

After leaving America for 20 years, Charlie Chaplin returned to the US in 1972 to receive a honorary award at the Oscars for "the incalculable effect he has had in making motion pictures the art form of this century." When the Little Tramp was introduced to the crowd, they responded with a 12 minute standing ovation.

12 minutes. Set a timer for 12 minutes right now. Stare at it and clap your hands until it goes off.

Just kidding. Don't do that. That's insane.

It was the longest ovation in Academy Awards history, and I would venture to say that it's the longest standing ovation in human history. When Brakk invented the wheel he only got a 2 minute ovation from his neighbors before everyone went back to their caves to draw on the walls.

12 goddamn minutes. Here's a few things you could accomplish in 12 minutes.

• Watch 120 Vines.

• Do the 8 min ab workout one and a half times.

• Play a whole quarter of professional basketball.

• Listen to The Door's "The End."

• Make a hard-boiled egg.

• Watch Too Many Cooks.

12 minutes for a standing ovation is long in any context, but nowadays it's even more difficult to fathom. Some entertainers' entire careers last less than 12 minutes, proving Andy Warhol to be more prescient than we gave him credit for. That speaks to the talent of many entertainers, but it also speaks to our attention spans.

Our collective attention span seems to have been decreasing since the beginning of time, but with the introduction of the internet and social media over the past decade, it is dwindling more rapidly than ever before. Our desire for new stimulation and new content, plus our outright hate of anything in the limelight for too long, makes fame or popularity a fleeting experience for most. Think of how many songs you absolutely hate specifically because you heard it too much (every single wedding reception song comes to mind). The radio is notorious for ruining decent songs (if it even plays decent songs in the first place) and the internet has multiplied that effect by 1000.

On social media, Twitter in particular, songs/shows/movies/people go from "hot" to "washed" in less than 12 minutes. Memes are born and die in the same span. Topics trend worldwide for a few minutes to be forgotten forever.

Let's look at the most recent example: The (blue and black) Dress.

From left to right: a blue and black dress; a blue and black dress; a blue and black dress.

"The Dress" became viral within a few hours after being posted to Tumblr, spreading throughout social media and soon traditional media (Buzzfeed is considered "traditional" right?). In less than 12 hours, it seemed every single person on Earth had seen the image and formed an opinion. About 2 hours after that, the majority of people I saw posting about it were saying how they were sick of seeing it. A few hours later, people were legitimately angry that they were still seeing the dress on their social media feeds (in addition to being legitimately angry if somebody saw different colors).

On one hand, I understand. It's fucking black and blue! Just look at th--Sorry. What I mean is, oversaturation can ruin fun, interesting things. Moderation is important. On the other hand, social media exists to share experiences with people. It's right there in the title: "social." So when something reaches everybody as The Dress did, it's a truly shared experience across the globe. That's amazing! Nothing in history has ever reached that many people that quickly. It may just be a silly optical illusion, but it brings us all together (while dividing us into teams) and reflects the truly great potential of social media to connect us as human beings.

That is, if we let it. Instead, we typically become bored and agitated by the fact that everybody is talking about it. Instead of taking part in this shared experience (and in this case, maybe learning a little about biology and human anatomy and how we all literally see the world differently) we dismiss it, even though we are on social media specifically to share experiences.

There's such a short shelf life for entertainment and news (which is basically just entertainment nowadays). Popular songs get "old" in a week. Kids have always been stuck in the moment, unable to look to the future or accept that anything existed in the past, but it's elevated to an insane degree now. Anything that was made before they were born is irrelevant. Working with kids, I'm privy to all their music (lucky me!). If a song comes on the radio that was popular two months ago, inevitably, some kid will say, "That song's so old!" Old? It came out 2 months ago, it's still a newborn!

A 12 minute standing ovation is impossible to conceive in this day and age. It really spotlights how drastically life has changed in the span of 40 years. Life moves so much more quickly now. What will it be like in another 40? How many new innovations and celebrities and fads will we go through in that time?

It also spotlights how great Charlie Chaplin must have been.

 Turns out he was pretty great, ladies.

Part of the reason for the ovation was the Academy and Hollywood patting itself on the back for embracing a guy they ran out of town so many years ago for his political beliefs (he was against Hitler before it was popular, against communist fear mongering, and against the evils of capitalism) but that doesn't take anything away from him. In fact, it shows how ahead of his time he was, both artistically and politically.

Regardless, 12 minutes is a fucking ridiculous amount of time to stand up and clap for a guy. Considering his greatness, though, if he was still around today, I'd give him at least a 20 second ovation. That's like 3 whole Vines!

I Love You All...Class Dismissed.