Kitsu Katsu: The Legend of Japanese Kit Kat

If you didn't know, I'm somewhat of a candy expert (as is SWP Intergalactic Ambassador Stoned Willy). I was the first person to purchase and eat a peanut butter Twix in Connecticut (true story, if the owner of Store 24 in Storrs is to be believed). I taste tested chocolate covered pretzels in the early 90s before they were even a thing (a delicious, delicious thing). Now I am lending my talents to a new snack craze: the Japanese Kit Kat.

Kitsu katsu is a Japanese phrase that roughly translates to "good luck." Notice how it sounds like Kit Kat? Well, so did Nestle, who makes Kit Kat (Hershey has a license to sell in America...global candy politics, yall!). Kit Kats are huge in Japan, largely because of a campaign they started years ago to appeal to the youth and the Japanese habit of collecting all parts of any popular series. Pokemon's "Catch Em All" isn't just a slogan, it's a way of life for many Japanese consumers.

Fortunately for the rest of the world, this isn't some ancient society (like the 1980s) where people in one country would have to simply forgo the pleasantries of another country if they could not afford the travel expenses. No! We live in an enlightened, connected society, where the glorious chocolate snacks of any country can be enjoyed by individuals in all corners of the globe! Thank you Ebay!

And thank you Cracked.com for putting me on to this delicious phenomenon!

And since not everybody is internet savvy (although you're reading this, so, ya know...google it) I ordered a 18 flavor variety pack and tried them for your benefit and the benefit of all mankind!

Let's get it on!

Japanese Kit Kat Taste Test Take 1

Mystery White Flavor
Seemed like white chocolate. Could have been a Cookies n Creme. Either way, very tasty, and a strong start to this Kit Kat marathon.
7/10

Edamame Soybean
Surprisingly decent. Tasted a little vegetabley, but, as I soon learn, almost anything tastes good with the Kit Kat foundation. Almost.
5/10


Japanese Kit Kat Taste Test Take 2

Halloween Pumpkin
Very good. The pumpkin flavor is not overwhelming, which serves the candy well.
6/10

Shinshu Apple
If you like Snapple Apple, or other apple flavored products, you'll love this. It's definitely an overly generic apple taste, but I like that. If you want to truly enjoy candy, you have to accept and appreciate its non-natural nature.
7/10

Japanese Kit Kat Taste Test Take 3

Red Bean Sandwich

Remember when I said almost everything tastes good with the Kit Kat foundation? This is one of those "almosts". Sandwiches and candy should be kept separate. You can't just cross established lines of cuisine all willy nilly. As any rational human being would expect, this tasted very weird, and simply not good. 

I ate the whole thing.

2/10

Japanese Kit Kat Taste Test Take 4

Strawberry
Another strong fake flavor. But you can't really go wrong with strawberry.
7/10

Japanese Kit Kat Taste Test Take 5

Strawberry Cheesecake
Tastes just like it sounds. Incredible.
9/10

Japanese Kit Kat Taste Test Take 6

Citrus Golden Blend
This one was overly fruity without being too artificial (a hard feat to accomplish) and refreshing, an unexpected trait in a candy bar. Very pleasing overall.
8/10

Japanese Kit Kat Taste Test Take 7

Wine
This was amazing, like a mouthful of wine and white chocolate.
10/10

Japanese Kit Kat Taste Test Take 8

Hot Japanese Chili
Off the bat, this one isn't too bad. Its kinda weird, but nothing immediately offensive like Red Bean Sandwich, so I quickly gobbled it up. Unfortunately, the spice starts to kick in a little later and the aftertaste is awful. This is the worst so far. I'm just glad it wasn't banana, the worst of all candy flavors.
1/10

Japanese Kit Kat Taste Test Take 9


Wasabi
This was definitely odd, but not bad per se. I wouldn't go running back to it, but if i found it in my freezer at 2:30 in the morning I would eat it happily, which is what I did.
4/10

Japanese Kit Kat Taste Test Take 10

Mystery Pink Awesomeness
Not exactly sure what this was, but it was pink and it looked like it had little chunks of (fake) fruit in it. It was amazing. It was also late, and I was drunk, so this judgment could have been skewed a bit.
Drunk10/10

Japanese Kit Kat Taste Test Take 11


Mystery Green. Possibly Booger
Looked weird, almost moldy. Tasted how it looked.

Still ate the whole thing.
1/10

Japanese Kit Kat Taste Test Take 12


Hojicha Roasted Tea
I'm not a huge tea fan, and I wasn't a huge fan of this. It tasted dry, almost like hay, and it kept getting worse. Of course I finished it, but the aftertaste was one of the worst of the bunch.
2/10

Japanese Kit Kat Taste Test Take 13

Purple Sweet Potato
Very good, if you like black raspberry ice cream. Fruity and smooth.
7/10

Japanese Kit Kat Taste Test Take 14

Cinnamon cookie

Exactly what I expected from the name. Very good.

9/10

Japanese Kit Kat Taste Test Take 15/16

Mystery Black (Otona no Amasa, which translates to "Taste of Adult")
It was basically a normal Kit Kat. It looked like dark chocolate, but it didn't have the usual bitterness. It's not as sweet as the regular milk chocolate Kit kat. Not sure if it accurately captures the taste of adult, but it's good.
7/10

Matcha Green Tea
I don't know if this was a horrible attempt at Matcha Green Tea flavor or if that's what Matcha Green Tea is  supposed to taste like. To be safe, I'll never try it because this was horrible.
1/10

That's all for now! Maybe one day I'll get to Japan and go to a Kit Kat boutique and try the other hundreds of flavors. I'm gonna miss these little guys.

I Love You All...Class Dismissed.