Nowadays every movie gets a sequel and eventually becomes a trilogy. The term franchise is more apt than ever because most movies are viewed as a business enterprise, a means to simply get as much money as possible. The reality is, that's what Hollywood has always been all about, so there's no reason to get nostalgic about some glory days that never existed. Except maybe for 1970s Hollywood.
As a film lover, I wanted to create this list for myself as much as anybody else, and with that said, the ground rules I set for this list are my own. If you got a problem, let's see your list, pal!
Rules:
1. No horror films. Too many franchises, and too many suck. Horror needs its own list.
2. At least 3 consecutive films in a series. Two consecutive films then a reboot does not count. So if The Amazing Spider-Man, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 and Spider-Man: Homecoming were the only films in the Spider-Man Series, that wouldn't count for this list. (But, of course, there is the original Tobey Maguire trilogy, so Spidey is on the list!) Also, using Spider-Man as an example again, there might be technically two or three separate series (originals, reboots, remakes), but I generally include them as one franchise.
2. Toy Story
The depth of character, the groundbreaking visuals, the emotional impact of the storylines. Toy Story redefined animated films and then ended up making a perfect film trilogy. The only reason it's not at the top of the list is because the last movie made me cry instead of making me want to play a flamethrowing guitar while chained to a tank like Fury Road. Of course, they will probably ruin it with the fourth installment, but maybe they can pull off what Mad Max managed.
3. Back to the Future
Yeah I'm biased with Michael J Fox, so what? So much fun. The first two are perfect (if you don't think too hard about the time travel paradoxes; and, if you do, that can be lots of fun, too). The 3rd is fun and actually wraps up the story very well, just maybe not how we had all envisioned it with the Wild West thing.
4. Batman
Imagine if Tim Burton got to finish out his original trilogy? I don't even hate Batman Forever, but a Burton and Keaton trilogy to compare to Nolan and Bale's trilogy would've been great. Batman has 4 classic films (the first two in each series) two good films (the third in each series) and one bad movie (Batman and Robin) which I will still watch any time. It also has the Adam West original movie (and series) which is a classic in its own right, and Lego Batman, which is great. Sadly, there's also Batman vs Superman, but I place that in the shitty DC Extended Universe where it belongs. Sorry Batfleck.
5. Marvel Cinematic Universe (Avengers, Thor, Captain America, Iron Man, Black Panther, Guardians, Dr. Strange, Ant-Man, Incredible Hulk)
This is a big one, and some weak movies *cough* Guardians *cough* benefit from the association with stronger films, but you have to appreciate the sheer magnitude of this franchise. Somehow, with all these characters and directors and writers, they've managed to make several coherent individual series connected to a coherent group film series, over a period of 10 years. And most of them are pretty damn good! Some are amazing! Overall, we've never seen anything like this in film before, and we should appreciate what we have.
6. Indiana Jones
This was so close to being a perfect trilogy. I mean, yeah, it had the racist caricature of Indian people in Temple of Doom, but it's still a great movie. Raiders and Lost Crusade are classics, and it was a well rounded story with a clear beginning and end...then came Shia freakin Labouef and his SUV surfing. It hurts to think about. It hurts even more to think about the next movie that is coming out. Why? Let Indy die. Like Young Indy. Sorry.
7. Rocky
For some reason, I don't think about Rocky too much when I think about franchises. Maybe it's because Stallone and his characters like Rocky and Rambo are just part of the public conscious at this point. They're just characters that have seemingly been around forever. I almost forget that it was an incredible film series at one point. Plus, the latest installment, Creed, reinvigorated the whole story. All it took was to make Rocky a side character!
The original is classic cinema. The next one is a great comeback story/love story between two former opponents. The third has Hulk Hogan and Mr. T! The 4th one ended the Cold War. Then there were two more which killed the positive memories we had of the series until Michael B Jordan came and kicked it in the ass.
8. Die Hard
The original is one of the greatest action movies of all time, if not THE greatest action movie. Definitely the best action movie that takes place in a skyscraper. The sequel pales in comparison, except for it's unbelievably awesome name: Die Harder. Also, Detective Sipowicz is all up in there yelling at our hero, so it's enjoyable. Die Hard With a Vengeance with Sam Jackson is great. Just the mere connection to Hans Gruber brings it up several notches. Then, once again, Shia Laboef ruins a legendary trilogy by showing up in part 4. It was never going to succeed with the name Live Free or Die Hard anyway, but still. Finally (hopefully it's final) Vladimir Putin ruined It's a Good Day to Die Hard. I'm guessing he forced the creators of the movie to make a ridiculous story line in Russia, otherwise I have no fucking idea what they were thinking.
As a film lover, I wanted to create this list for myself as much as anybody else, and with that said, the ground rules I set for this list are my own. If you got a problem, let's see your list, pal!
Rules:
1. No horror films. Too many franchises, and too many suck. Horror needs its own list.
2. At least 3 consecutive films in a series. Two consecutive films then a reboot does not count. So if The Amazing Spider-Man, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 and Spider-Man: Homecoming were the only films in the Spider-Man Series, that wouldn't count for this list. (But, of course, there is the original Tobey Maguire trilogy, so Spidey is on the list!) Also, using Spider-Man as an example again, there might be technically two or three separate series (originals, reboots, remakes), but I generally include them as one franchise.
3. One of the films has to have been made within the last 30 years. Unfortunately, that means no Godfather, but that's kind of in it's own playing field anyway.
4. I had to have seen at least one film all the way through. So yes, that means I only saw one film in some of these franchises. With the nature of franchises, you can generally tell if you'll like the other movies based off one. I think Godfather 3 is mediocre, but if I saw that first, it would have been good enough to spark my interest in the other two.
The thing is with this list, one classic film can lift up an entire franchise, and one awful film can bring it down. A franchise with all mediocre films might just beat out a franchise with one classic film because the rest in the series are awful. Here goes:
Modern Movie Franchises, Ranked
1. Mad Max
The original trilogy is incredible, and gets better with each installment. It is a product of the times (70s and 80s) which makes it amazing to me, but you have to enjoy the old school, independent film vibe to really appreciate the films. The newest entry, Fury Road, puts this on the top of the list. It redefined action movies for the 21st Century, while keeping the spirit of the originals.
4. I had to have seen at least one film all the way through. So yes, that means I only saw one film in some of these franchises. With the nature of franchises, you can generally tell if you'll like the other movies based off one. I think Godfather 3 is mediocre, but if I saw that first, it would have been good enough to spark my interest in the other two.
The thing is with this list, one classic film can lift up an entire franchise, and one awful film can bring it down. A franchise with all mediocre films might just beat out a franchise with one classic film because the rest in the series are awful. Here goes:
Modern Movie Franchises, Ranked
1. Mad Max
The original trilogy is incredible, and gets better with each installment. It is a product of the times (70s and 80s) which makes it amazing to me, but you have to enjoy the old school, independent film vibe to really appreciate the films. The newest entry, Fury Road, puts this on the top of the list. It redefined action movies for the 21st Century, while keeping the spirit of the originals.
2. Toy Story
The depth of character, the groundbreaking visuals, the emotional impact of the storylines. Toy Story redefined animated films and then ended up making a perfect film trilogy. The only reason it's not at the top of the list is because the last movie made me cry instead of making me want to play a flamethrowing guitar while chained to a tank like Fury Road. Of course, they will probably ruin it with the fourth installment, but maybe they can pull off what Mad Max managed.
3. Back to the Future
Yeah I'm biased with Michael J Fox, so what? So much fun. The first two are perfect (if you don't think too hard about the time travel paradoxes; and, if you do, that can be lots of fun, too). The 3rd is fun and actually wraps up the story very well, just maybe not how we had all envisioned it with the Wild West thing.
4. Batman
Imagine if Tim Burton got to finish out his original trilogy? I don't even hate Batman Forever, but a Burton and Keaton trilogy to compare to Nolan and Bale's trilogy would've been great. Batman has 4 classic films (the first two in each series) two good films (the third in each series) and one bad movie (Batman and Robin) which I will still watch any time. It also has the Adam West original movie (and series) which is a classic in its own right, and Lego Batman, which is great. Sadly, there's also Batman vs Superman, but I place that in the shitty DC Extended Universe where it belongs. Sorry Batfleck.
5. Marvel Cinematic Universe (Avengers, Thor, Captain America, Iron Man, Black Panther, Guardians, Dr. Strange, Ant-Man, Incredible Hulk)
This is a big one, and some weak movies *cough* Guardians *cough* benefit from the association with stronger films, but you have to appreciate the sheer magnitude of this franchise. Somehow, with all these characters and directors and writers, they've managed to make several coherent individual series connected to a coherent group film series, over a period of 10 years. And most of them are pretty damn good! Some are amazing! Overall, we've never seen anything like this in film before, and we should appreciate what we have.
6. Indiana Jones
This was so close to being a perfect trilogy. I mean, yeah, it had the racist caricature of Indian people in Temple of Doom, but it's still a great movie. Raiders and Lost Crusade are classics, and it was a well rounded story with a clear beginning and end...then came Shia freakin Labouef and his SUV surfing. It hurts to think about. It hurts even more to think about the next movie that is coming out. Why? Let Indy die. Like Young Indy. Sorry.
7. Rocky
For some reason, I don't think about Rocky too much when I think about franchises. Maybe it's because Stallone and his characters like Rocky and Rambo are just part of the public conscious at this point. They're just characters that have seemingly been around forever. I almost forget that it was an incredible film series at one point. Plus, the latest installment, Creed, reinvigorated the whole story. All it took was to make Rocky a side character!
The original is classic cinema. The next one is a great comeback story/love story between two former opponents. The third has Hulk Hogan and Mr. T! The 4th one ended the Cold War. Then there were two more which killed the positive memories we had of the series until Michael B Jordan came and kicked it in the ass.
8. Die Hard
The original is one of the greatest action movies of all time, if not THE greatest action movie. Definitely the best action movie that takes place in a skyscraper. The sequel pales in comparison, except for it's unbelievably awesome name: Die Harder. Also, Detective Sipowicz is all up in there yelling at our hero, so it's enjoyable. Die Hard With a Vengeance with Sam Jackson is great. Just the mere connection to Hans Gruber brings it up several notches. Then, once again, Shia Laboef ruins a legendary trilogy by showing up in part 4. It was never going to succeed with the name Live Free or Die Hard anyway, but still. Finally (hopefully it's final) Vladimir Putin ruined It's a Good Day to Die Hard. I'm guessing he forced the creators of the movie to make a ridiculous story line in Russia, otherwise I have no fucking idea what they were thinking.
9. Spider-Man
It started with one of the best superhero movies ever (when they were barely a thing!) then followed up with a better movie, then ruined all that with Emo Peter Parker in part 3. Spider-Man 3 was so bad they rebooted the whole series and came back with...even worse trash. If The Amazing Spider-Man 1 and 2 never happened, Spidey would jump up a couple spots in the list. Homecoming, the most recent reboot, was great, and balances out the awfulness of Garfield era Spidey. (I also include Homecoming in the Marvel Cinematic Universe).
It started with one of the best superhero movies ever (when they were barely a thing!) then followed up with a better movie, then ruined all that with Emo Peter Parker in part 3. Spider-Man 3 was so bad they rebooted the whole series and came back with...even worse trash. If The Amazing Spider-Man 1 and 2 never happened, Spidey would jump up a couple spots in the list. Homecoming, the most recent reboot, was great, and balances out the awfulness of Garfield era Spidey. (I also include Homecoming in the Marvel Cinematic Universe).
10. X-Men
It started with one of the best superhero movies ever (when they were even less of a thing!) then followed up with a better movie, then ruined all that with Brett Fucking Ratner directing part 3. The Last Stand is ok because it has so many beloved characters and a lot of action, but the story and writing sucked. X-Men Origins: Wolverine and The Wolverine sucked adamantium dong, but Logan was one of the best movies of last year, period. Doing a soft reboot and keeping the original version of some characters while introducing us to younger versions in First Class was cool (the movie was decent overall) and Days of Future Past was really entertaining, but Apocalypse sucked hardcore. That one and the first two Wolverine movies keep this from being higher on the list. Plus, the entire timeline is completely out of wack. There's no use trying to make sense of the timeline from one film to the next after part 3, but that doesn't hurt the overall enjoyment.
12. Lord of the Rings
I separated this from The Hobbit because The Lord of the Rings is so much better it seems impossible that they are made by the same people. Also, I never sat through a whole Hobbit movie. I'm just assuming they are horrible based on what I did see. The Lord of the Rings is a great series, and in theaters it was stunningly beautiful. My favorite is the 2nd. The first is a bit slow to get going, and the last one is treacherously slow to end, but a solid series.
13. Shrek
The first two are classics. Well, definitely the 1st. Anytime you create a character that's so iconic it becomes shorthand for an insult (your girl looks like Shrek!) you deserve some credit. The 3rd was unnecessary: we didn't need Timberlake in the Shrek Universe. We definitely didnt need Shrek Forever After. But they kinda made up for it with the Puss in Boots spin-off.
14. Austin Powers
We forget how funny the original Austin Powers was because of how deeply it became entrenched in the public's conscious. Endless shouts of "yeah baby!" really watered down the comedic genius of the original, and even the 2nd. Mini-Me?! Fat Bastard?! Classic characters. Yeah, the jokes were recycled, but they were funny jokes! Then they tried it a third time and the shine had worn off. Goldmember wasn't horrible, but it was just kinda...there. With Beyonce.
15. Lethal Weapon
16. Men In Black
Classic original. Good second. Never saw the 3rd, but I'm sure it was fun. Thought they could've done a lot more with this franchise, especially with Will Smith, but it was enjoyable overall. The 4th will most likely suck.
It started with one of the best superhero movies ever (when they were even less of a thing!) then followed up with a better movie, then ruined all that with Brett Fucking Ratner directing part 3. The Last Stand is ok because it has so many beloved characters and a lot of action, but the story and writing sucked. X-Men Origins: Wolverine and The Wolverine sucked adamantium dong, but Logan was one of the best movies of last year, period. Doing a soft reboot and keeping the original version of some characters while introducing us to younger versions in First Class was cool (the movie was decent overall) and Days of Future Past was really entertaining, but Apocalypse sucked hardcore. That one and the first two Wolverine movies keep this from being higher on the list. Plus, the entire timeline is completely out of wack. There's no use trying to make sense of the timeline from one film to the next after part 3, but that doesn't hurt the overall enjoyment.
11. The Matrix
The original Matrix was one of the coolest movies ever...at the time. The second movie had some incredible action scenes...and then the last 30 minutes and The Architect happened. Then the third part happened. The third retroactively made the original much less cooler. But it's hard to overstate the impact this had on action movies, and the black leather industry.
12. Lord of the Rings
I separated this from The Hobbit because The Lord of the Rings is so much better it seems impossible that they are made by the same people. Also, I never sat through a whole Hobbit movie. I'm just assuming they are horrible based on what I did see. The Lord of the Rings is a great series, and in theaters it was stunningly beautiful. My favorite is the 2nd. The first is a bit slow to get going, and the last one is treacherously slow to end, but a solid series.
The first two are classics. Well, definitely the 1st. Anytime you create a character that's so iconic it becomes shorthand for an insult (your girl looks like Shrek!) you deserve some credit. The 3rd was unnecessary: we didn't need Timberlake in the Shrek Universe. We definitely didnt need Shrek Forever After. But they kinda made up for it with the Puss in Boots spin-off.
We forget how funny the original Austin Powers was because of how deeply it became entrenched in the public's conscious. Endless shouts of "yeah baby!" really watered down the comedic genius of the original, and even the 2nd. Mini-Me?! Fat Bastard?! Classic characters. Yeah, the jokes were recycled, but they were funny jokes! Then they tried it a third time and the shine had worn off. Goldmember wasn't horrible, but it was just kinda...there. With Beyonce.
The first two are classics, although the second one gets increasingly ridiculous. This and Die Hard cemented the "rogue cop who can't be tamed but he always fights for good" trope as the leading cop trope in movies and tv forever and ever. Mel and Danny Glover were great together, but the star of the series was the saxophone. The sax solos littered throughout the series were iconic. Really set the mood.
I remember the 3rd one being good, then I rewatched it a few years ago and wanted to kick the screen whenever Joe Pesci was on. Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. Fucking ok we get it Joe. The 4th one was an embarassment, with Chris Rock and Pesci trading weak punchlines back and forth nonstop. Jet Li was cool tho.
I remember the 3rd one being good, then I rewatched it a few years ago and wanted to kick the screen whenever Joe Pesci was on. Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. Fucking ok we get it Joe. The 4th one was an embarassment, with Chris Rock and Pesci trading weak punchlines back and forth nonstop. Jet Li was cool tho.
Classic original. Good second. Never saw the 3rd, but I'm sure it was fun. Thought they could've done a lot more with this franchise, especially with Will Smith, but it was enjoyable overall. The 4th will most likely suck.
17. Naked Gun
You know a parody is good when it outlives the targets of its humor. Who even knows half the movies Leslie Nielson and OJ were parodying in these films anymore, yet somehow they still hold up. Yes, they are silly as all hell, but that was the point! Nobody was taking these serious. There was no moment in the film where a character had a serious reflection or deep conversation about the meaning of life. It was just laugh after laugh. All 3 have classic moments.
18. Planet of the Apes (reboot series)
I'm only including the Reboot series here because a) fuck Charlton Heston and b) I never saw the originals except bits and pieces on Saturday afternoons as a kid. The Tim Burton one sucked, too, so that is not included. This most recent series has been surprisingly good, although I still have to see the finale. The tone is perfect, the CGI apes are incredible, there's a solid story, and the action scenes are great. Can't ask for much more in a series about fighting monkeys.
You know a parody is good when it outlives the targets of its humor. Who even knows half the movies Leslie Nielson and OJ were parodying in these films anymore, yet somehow they still hold up. Yes, they are silly as all hell, but that was the point! Nobody was taking these serious. There was no moment in the film where a character had a serious reflection or deep conversation about the meaning of life. It was just laugh after laugh. All 3 have classic moments.
18. Planet of the Apes (reboot series)
I'm only including the Reboot series here because a) fuck Charlton Heston and b) I never saw the originals except bits and pieces on Saturday afternoons as a kid. The Tim Burton one sucked, too, so that is not included. This most recent series has been surprisingly good, although I still have to see the finale. The tone is perfect, the CGI apes are incredible, there's a solid story, and the action scenes are great. Can't ask for much more in a series about fighting monkeys.
19. Jurassic Park
I want this to be so much higher, but it just doesn't deserve it. The first one is legendary, and it still holds up, like Goldblum's sexiness. But from the sequel on, it's been disappointment after disappointment. The new series has not impressed me at all. Maybe I'm not the audience for it at this point, and that's okay, but I just think they can never capture that pure feeling of awe that the original inspired in the audience.
20. Bond
Not a huge Bond guy but I get it. I've seen a whole bunch and I like some. I probably saw more with Pierce Brosnan than any others. Daniel Craig is cool. Sean Connery is a woman-beater but he looked good in a tux I guess. I respect the series, it's just really up and down. You have to really like Bond movies to like a Bond movie, ya know? It's very much a genre unto itself.
21. Bourne Identity
Well, almost a genre unto itself. Jason Bourne, the modern day Bond. The first was dope, although it makes you a little queasy with the camera movement. The 2nd one seemed to amp up the motion, to the point where that's literally all I remember and I didn't care about seeing the rest. It doesn't say much about the franchise that they had to bring Damon back after one movie without him, but these are always good for 2 hours of espionage action.
Not a huge Bond guy but I get it. I've seen a whole bunch and I like some. I probably saw more with Pierce Brosnan than any others. Daniel Craig is cool. Sean Connery is a woman-beater but he looked good in a tux I guess. I respect the series, it's just really up and down. You have to really like Bond movies to like a Bond movie, ya know? It's very much a genre unto itself.
21. Bourne Identity
Well, almost a genre unto itself. Jason Bourne, the modern day Bond. The first was dope, although it makes you a little queasy with the camera movement. The 2nd one seemed to amp up the motion, to the point where that's literally all I remember and I didn't care about seeing the rest. It doesn't say much about the franchise that they had to bring Damon back after one movie without him, but these are always good for 2 hours of espionage action.
22. Scary Movie
The only reason this is so high is off the strength of "my little hand." I can watch Chris Elliot in Scary Movie 2 until the end of time. The original was great mostly for how hard it crapped on Scream (which wasn't easy to do because Scream was actually good and very funny). They aretrue spoof movies, though, and unlike Naked Gun they only work if you've seen the movies it's spoofing. Also, most spoofs exist in a very specific moment in time. They don't hold up very well...except for Chris Elliot's little hand, obviously.
They went on to make like 5 of these, one of which co-stars Shaq, so that's how deep off the edge this series went.
The only reason this is so high is off the strength of "my little hand." I can watch Chris Elliot in Scary Movie 2 until the end of time. The original was great mostly for how hard it crapped on Scream (which wasn't easy to do because Scream was actually good and very funny). They aretrue spoof movies, though, and unlike Naked Gun they only work if you've seen the movies it's spoofing. Also, most spoofs exist in a very specific moment in time. They don't hold up very well...except for Chris Elliot's little hand, obviously.
They went on to make like 5 of these, one of which co-stars Shaq, so that's how deep off the edge this series went.
23. Hunger Games
I was surprised how much I liked this series. Each movie (almost) was good in and of itself, with its own unique feel and tone, while still establishing a complete world across the series. It was fun and emotional and action packed. Then the last film came and shat all over everything. I was once again surprised, this time by how badly the filmmakers could ruin a good series with one shitty film. Seriously, what was up with the finale? I feel like it was an hour and a half inside of a dark sewer.
24. Kung Fu Panda
Skadoosh. I love King Fu Panda. Great characters and story, great animation, great voice acting. Obviously I'm biased with Angeina Jolie and Jackie Chan, but everyone is great, even Seth Rogen. The second one isn't great but the series is one of the best modern animated franchises.
25. Fast and Furious
This was a typical cars and guns and half naked women movie series for a while...and it sucked. Then they realized that getting increasingly ridiculous and absurd could save their lame ass franchise. The Rock helped, too. Vin Diesel can't be the only muscular bald guy in your movie.
The whole name thing (2 Fast, 2 Furious; Fast 5; Furious 7) represents the appeal of this movie: it's so stupid, so you can't help but make fun of it, but then you realize you are spending an hour trying to come up with the name of the next movie (Fast 8 Furious? F8st & Furi8us?) and that kinda means you're a fan.
Part 6 in particular is highly absurd, the most enjoyable by far. And to be completely honest, The Wiz Khalifa tribute song playing at the end of part 7 as Paul Walker drives into the sunset is actually very touching.
I was surprised how much I liked this series. Each movie (almost) was good in and of itself, with its own unique feel and tone, while still establishing a complete world across the series. It was fun and emotional and action packed. Then the last film came and shat all over everything. I was once again surprised, this time by how badly the filmmakers could ruin a good series with one shitty film. Seriously, what was up with the finale? I feel like it was an hour and a half inside of a dark sewer.
24. Kung Fu Panda
Skadoosh. I love King Fu Panda. Great characters and story, great animation, great voice acting. Obviously I'm biased with Angeina Jolie and Jackie Chan, but everyone is great, even Seth Rogen. The second one isn't great but the series is one of the best modern animated franchises.
25. Fast and Furious
This was a typical cars and guns and half naked women movie series for a while...and it sucked. Then they realized that getting increasingly ridiculous and absurd could save their lame ass franchise. The Rock helped, too. Vin Diesel can't be the only muscular bald guy in your movie.
The whole name thing (2 Fast, 2 Furious; Fast 5; Furious 7) represents the appeal of this movie: it's so stupid, so you can't help but make fun of it, but then you realize you are spending an hour trying to come up with the name of the next movie (Fast 8 Furious? F8st & Furi8us?) and that kinda means you're a fan.
Part 6 in particular is highly absurd, the most enjoyable by far. And to be completely honest, The Wiz Khalifa tribute song playing at the end of part 7 as Paul Walker drives into the sunset is actually very touching.
26. Mission Impossible
Got a lot of heat for putting this series on my "worst" list. Didn't know there were so many hardcore MI fans! Although I guess there must be because they made 6 (!) of these damn things. I checked out after John Woo turned MI:2 into Face:Off 2.
I don't hate this series at all. The first was very good. I've heard others are good, too, and I'm sure the action is incredible. Plus, Tom Cruise is a literal madman and it's fun just to see the behind the scenes with him hanging onto a flying airplane. But, the series just bores me. Same with Bond and Bourne. I guess I'm not into secret agents carrying out covert ops. Seems like I would be, but...nah.
27. Terminator
This could've been the greatest 1-2 combo ever if they let well enough alone. The first two are film classics. They made Arnold a worldwide star. What the fuck have they done to this series? I saw the third one in theaters. When the female terminator's boobs grew I was simultaneously aroused and disgusted. Then there was like an Arnold clone or some weird shit in Salvation. They tried having Khaleesi save part 5 but even that couldn't work. What a joke this series has become.
Got a lot of heat for putting this series on my "worst" list. Didn't know there were so many hardcore MI fans! Although I guess there must be because they made 6 (!) of these damn things. I checked out after John Woo turned MI:2 into Face:Off 2.
I don't hate this series at all. The first was very good. I've heard others are good, too, and I'm sure the action is incredible. Plus, Tom Cruise is a literal madman and it's fun just to see the behind the scenes with him hanging onto a flying airplane. But, the series just bores me. Same with Bond and Bourne. I guess I'm not into secret agents carrying out covert ops. Seems like I would be, but...nah.
27. Terminator
This could've been the greatest 1-2 combo ever if they let well enough alone. The first two are film classics. They made Arnold a worldwide star. What the fuck have they done to this series? I saw the third one in theaters. When the female terminator's boobs grew I was simultaneously aroused and disgusted. Then there was like an Arnold clone or some weird shit in Salvation. They tried having Khaleesi save part 5 but even that couldn't work. What a joke this series has become.
28. Star Wars
If I broke this down, the original trilogy would be much higher. Blame George Lucas for this spot. Do I have to talk about the prequels? We all know how awful they were. A lot of people seem to think The Force Awakens was amazing and rejuvenated the series. I think it was a decent reboot of the original, but that's about it. The Last Jedi was highly enjoyable for a non-hardcore Star Wars fan. So the two new movies in the series have somewhat made up for the prequels. But then they went and started with these spin-offs and already the world is feeling Star Wars fatigue. Rogue One sucked despite what anyone tries to tell you about how cool the final scene was (it was, but man, how did you stay awake to get to it?) and Solo was so bad Disney might stop the spin-offs altogether.
29. Home Alone
Kevin! We all know and love the original. I think it's a bit overrated, but I watch it almost every Christmas. There was a deep, rapid fall off with the second one. Do I even need to mention who appears in a cameo? That symbolizes the moral rot of this series. They hit a gold mine with Macauley Culkin smacking himself in the face and wanted to bank on his cuteness while it still lasted so they rushed a shitty sequel. Then they tossed him aside for the third. And 4th. And 5th. Seriously, they made 5 of these things?
30. Scream
(I'm breaking my rules on horror here because...just because. Deal with it.)
It says a lot about a series that the parody of it is better. Scream was monumental. Rejuvenated the horror industry and Drew Barrymore's career. It made the shitty Halloween mask your mom bought at CVS seem super cool. And it showed that a horror could be funny and witty and clever, not just gory. The second one didn't immediately ruin the series; it actually had its good moments. The ending was a bit ridiculous because they thought they needed a big twist, but it was an acceptable horror sequel. The third was more of the same with much less wit and charm, which is ironic, because they toned down the violence and focused on the humor in the wake of Columbine. It didn't work. The 4th is an abomination.
31. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
This probably shouldn't be so high, but I have a severe soft spot for the original. It was so damn good. And unique. Still is. The 2nd one was fun but pales in comparison to the original.
Somehow, Michael Bay's recent additions to the series managed to make travelling to Ancient China in the 3rd film seem like a good idea.
32. Ocean's 11
The Ocean's movies are less films and more excuses for a bunch of rich famous people to hang out and do (somewhat) witty dialogue. The first was a lot of fun. The 2nd was incredibly dumb (the whole Julia Roberts and Bruce Willis thing? yikes) The third was okay but the whole concept was exhausted at that point. Well, maybe not, considering they made a new one. All female this time! That's completely different and new! Women be stealinnnnn!
33. Rambo
If you never saw the original, you might think Rambo is just an unrepentant killing machine. There's not many movie series with such a dramatic change in tone from the original to the sequels. Rambo was a Vietnam vet trying to live out his life in the woods, but corrupt cops tried to kill him so he defended himself. It was a commentary on the shitty treatment of vets and PTSD. Then they decided to have him kill 75 people in the second one and increasingly more in the next installments. The idea of Rambo the Destroyer was stronger than the traumatized vet character in the original I guess. They did make a cool cartoon in the 80s though. My question is, who saw Rambo 1 or 2 and said: "This would be a great role model for kids!"
34. American Pie
The original was funny as hell at the time it came out. And Shannon Elizabeth...my god. But it lost its appeal on second viewing, and the sequel was more of the same, with the addition of giving us "Milf." They've made like 80 of these straight to video. It's the Meatballs or Porkys of the 90s/00s, and much like those movies, they will not be looked back upon very fondly.
35. The Hangover
Speaking of not being looked back on fondly...
The first one banked on the endlessly charming Zach Galiafankis, the gorgeous brown locks of Bradley Cooper, and Ed Helms. It worked for the first one, though I still say they should have shown their blacked-out shenanigans during the movie, not in some pictures during the credits. The 2nd was a poor choice. There was also a third.
If I broke this down, the original trilogy would be much higher. Blame George Lucas for this spot. Do I have to talk about the prequels? We all know how awful they were. A lot of people seem to think The Force Awakens was amazing and rejuvenated the series. I think it was a decent reboot of the original, but that's about it. The Last Jedi was highly enjoyable for a non-hardcore Star Wars fan. So the two new movies in the series have somewhat made up for the prequels. But then they went and started with these spin-offs and already the world is feeling Star Wars fatigue. Rogue One sucked despite what anyone tries to tell you about how cool the final scene was (it was, but man, how did you stay awake to get to it?) and Solo was so bad Disney might stop the spin-offs altogether.
29. Home Alone
Kevin! We all know and love the original. I think it's a bit overrated, but I watch it almost every Christmas. There was a deep, rapid fall off with the second one. Do I even need to mention who appears in a cameo? That symbolizes the moral rot of this series. They hit a gold mine with Macauley Culkin smacking himself in the face and wanted to bank on his cuteness while it still lasted so they rushed a shitty sequel. Then they tossed him aside for the third. And 4th. And 5th. Seriously, they made 5 of these things?
30. Scream
(I'm breaking my rules on horror here because...just because. Deal with it.)
It says a lot about a series that the parody of it is better. Scream was monumental. Rejuvenated the horror industry and Drew Barrymore's career. It made the shitty Halloween mask your mom bought at CVS seem super cool. And it showed that a horror could be funny and witty and clever, not just gory. The second one didn't immediately ruin the series; it actually had its good moments. The ending was a bit ridiculous because they thought they needed a big twist, but it was an acceptable horror sequel. The third was more of the same with much less wit and charm, which is ironic, because they toned down the violence and focused on the humor in the wake of Columbine. It didn't work. The 4th is an abomination.
31. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
This probably shouldn't be so high, but I have a severe soft spot for the original. It was so damn good. And unique. Still is. The 2nd one was fun but pales in comparison to the original.
Somehow, Michael Bay's recent additions to the series managed to make travelling to Ancient China in the 3rd film seem like a good idea.
32. Ocean's 11
33. Rambo
If you never saw the original, you might think Rambo is just an unrepentant killing machine. There's not many movie series with such a dramatic change in tone from the original to the sequels. Rambo was a Vietnam vet trying to live out his life in the woods, but corrupt cops tried to kill him so he defended himself. It was a commentary on the shitty treatment of vets and PTSD. Then they decided to have him kill 75 people in the second one and increasingly more in the next installments. The idea of Rambo the Destroyer was stronger than the traumatized vet character in the original I guess. They did make a cool cartoon in the 80s though. My question is, who saw Rambo 1 or 2 and said: "This would be a great role model for kids!"
34. American Pie
The original was funny as hell at the time it came out. And Shannon Elizabeth...my god. But it lost its appeal on second viewing, and the sequel was more of the same, with the addition of giving us "Milf." They've made like 80 of these straight to video. It's the Meatballs or Porkys of the 90s/00s, and much like those movies, they will not be looked back upon very fondly.
35. The Hangover
Speaking of not being looked back on fondly...
The first one banked on the endlessly charming Zach Galiafankis, the gorgeous brown locks of Bradley Cooper, and Ed Helms. It worked for the first one, though I still say they should have shown their blacked-out shenanigans during the movie, not in some pictures during the credits. The 2nd was a poor choice. There was also a third.
36. The Mummy
Shoutout to Brendan Fraser. He got blackballed for being an abuse victim. Many people thought it was because of the 2nd and 3rd films in this series. I can see why.
The Rock was the weird CGI Scorpion King and shit got off the rails. But let's not forget how much fun the first one is. Apparently the reboot with Tom Cruise was so bad Universal Studeios cancelled their ideas of bringing back all the old school monster movies. A fitting end to this series.
The Rock was the weird CGI Scorpion King and shit got off the rails. But let's not forget how much fun the first one is. Apparently the reboot with Tom Cruise was so bad Universal Studeios cancelled their ideas of bringing back all the old school monster movies. A fitting end to this series.
37. Star Trek
Can't say much about this series. I've seen a bunch of the movies a while ago. They're ok. I like the one with the whales the most. No interest in the new ones because they are Star Wars clones (pun intended) instead of a Star Trek reboot (so the "Star" movie people tell me anyways). Clearly, the show and movies had an unprecedented impact on society (Klingons! Phasers! First interracial kiss! Sex with green ladies!) so it deserves a lot of credit. From someone else.
38. Ice Age
40. DC Extended Universe
38. Ice Age
The original was great. But when a short unrelated film at the beginning of your movie, plus the voice acting of John Leguizamo, are the best parts of your movie, there's only a certain level you can reach. The sequels got increasingly repetitive and uninteresting, as a lot of these animated series do. Only a few can stave off that curse.
39. Madagascar
Madagascar is not one of those series. The first is really good. But how much David Schwimmer can anyone take? And Chris Rock's voice has never been his strong suit. It's another "group of animals come together for assorted hijinks while overcoming serious obstacles" animated series that basically follows the same formula as Ice Age or Kung Fu Panda.39. Madagascar
40. DC Extended Universe
Why oh why is the DC Extended Universe so bad? DC had it made with 2 stellar Batman franchises! (I'm not including the Burton and Nolan Batman series in the DCEU, obviously.) They have the first major superhero in the world. They have THE female superhero (at least they didn't fuck that one up). Yet, from Superman Returns on, they just fail over and over again. Even Wonder Woman, their best movie, is about 30 minutes too long and the plot is kind of stupid when you think about it. I finally forced myself to watch Justice League (while reading this actually) and I'm not happy about it. Fuckin Steppenwolf is your Big Bad?
These are not enjoyable, or cohesive films. Just a hot mess.
These are not enjoyable, or cohesive films. Just a hot mess.
41. Rush Hour
Come on. You liked Rush Hour when it came out. Chris Tucker was a funny motherfucker. And Jackie Chan is motherfucking Jackie Chan. Their chemistry was real, the movie was fun, the story was decent, and Jackie was doing stunts like he was in his 20s. Then there was part 2, trying to cash in on the success of the surprise hit. And part 3, trying to bleed the very last cent they could manage out of this bloated corpse of a franchise.
42. Ernest
Hey Vern! We all suffered through at least one Ernest movie in our childhoods. I will still say, Ernest Goes to Camp is an underrated, unerappreciated gem of a film. The others were used at Guantanamo to torture people.
43. Despicable Me
Despicable Me is funny. Steve Carell is great as usual. But this is the series that gave us the Minions, and everything that comes with them. They were actually cute and funny in the original. They quickly got historically obnoxious. So of course there were two sequels and a Minions spin-off!
44. Meet the Parents/Fockers
Nobody under 25 would ever believe Robert DeNiro was one of the finest dramatic actors of his generation. The original is good for a laugh or two. But man, they really got a lot of mileage out of the "their last name is Focker!" joke.
45. The Expendables
Fun idea. It is what it is. You know exactly what you're getting. Big dumb explosions with action stars of the 80s, 90s and today. It exists, that's about all I can say for it.
46. DaVinci Code
Tom Hanks' hair...bro. What? Sheesh.
I really enjoyed the book, and I loved the Angels & Demons book. This was such a horrible adaptation that I stopped reading Dan Brown novels after watching it. It retroactively made the books shitty.
47. Harry Potter
Come on. You liked Rush Hour when it came out. Chris Tucker was a funny motherfucker. And Jackie Chan is motherfucking Jackie Chan. Their chemistry was real, the movie was fun, the story was decent, and Jackie was doing stunts like he was in his 20s. Then there was part 2, trying to cash in on the success of the surprise hit. And part 3, trying to bleed the very last cent they could manage out of this bloated corpse of a franchise.
42. Ernest
Hey Vern! We all suffered through at least one Ernest movie in our childhoods. I will still say, Ernest Goes to Camp is an underrated, unerappreciated gem of a film. The others were used at Guantanamo to torture people.
43. Despicable Me
Despicable Me is funny. Steve Carell is great as usual. But this is the series that gave us the Minions, and everything that comes with them. They were actually cute and funny in the original. They quickly got historically obnoxious. So of course there were two sequels and a Minions spin-off!
44. Meet the Parents/Fockers
Nobody under 25 would ever believe Robert DeNiro was one of the finest dramatic actors of his generation. The original is good for a laugh or two. But man, they really got a lot of mileage out of the "their last name is Focker!" joke.
45. The Expendables
Fun idea. It is what it is. You know exactly what you're getting. Big dumb explosions with action stars of the 80s, 90s and today. It exists, that's about all I can say for it.
46. DaVinci Code
Tom Hanks' hair...bro. What? Sheesh.
I really enjoyed the book, and I loved the Angels & Demons book. This was such a horrible adaptation that I stopped reading Dan Brown novels after watching it. It retroactively made the books shitty.
47. Harry Potter
I was just never into this. I tried watching the first one 3 times and couldn't do it. Order of the Phoenix was pretty dark and trippy, though, so that was cool. Highly overrated series, by adults anyways. I'm not mad if you loved this as a kid. But grow up. Come on.
48. Pirates of the Caribbean
The series that simultaneously made Johnny Depp a worldwide megastar and killed his career. The first one is very enjoyable. The second one is torturous; I think Captain Depp was just running away for 3 hours. I never made an attempt to watch another. I was dumbfounded when I saw that there are 5 of these things, and they are all 4 and a half hours too long.
49. Twilight
I actually saw the first two in theaters. The perks of working with teenagers when it was popular. It is as lame as you assumed. Plus, every person I talked to hated the last few movies, even hard core fans; if you can't win me over with your glittery vampire movie that's one thing, but if the teen girls that grew up on the books aren't feeling it, you failed miserably.
50. Transformers
I've only seen the first one and the first 2 hours of the second one (pretty sure it's 8 hours long) yet I can say with confidence that every film in this series is awful. The 6th is coming out this year and the 7th next year. Kill me.
I Love You All...Class Dismissed.
48. Pirates of the Caribbean
The series that simultaneously made Johnny Depp a worldwide megastar and killed his career. The first one is very enjoyable. The second one is torturous; I think Captain Depp was just running away for 3 hours. I never made an attempt to watch another. I was dumbfounded when I saw that there are 5 of these things, and they are all 4 and a half hours too long.
49. Twilight
I actually saw the first two in theaters. The perks of working with teenagers when it was popular. It is as lame as you assumed. Plus, every person I talked to hated the last few movies, even hard core fans; if you can't win me over with your glittery vampire movie that's one thing, but if the teen girls that grew up on the books aren't feeling it, you failed miserably.
50. Transformers
I've only seen the first one and the first 2 hours of the second one (pretty sure it's 8 hours long) yet I can say with confidence that every film in this series is awful. The 6th is coming out this year and the 7th next year. Kill me.
I Love You All...Class Dismissed.
