Thursday, May 10, 2018

The Case for Legalization

Connecticut is in a severe economic crisis. Lawmakers have said they are willing to put everything on the table to solve the problem.

Then they decided not to vote for marijuana legalization. They didn't vote against it, they didn't even hold a vote on it. They also delayed the vote on tolls and casinos because really, why do anything at all? The crises will handle itself!

If their inaction pisses you off as much as it pisses me off, contact your reps. You can start with the CT Speaker of the House, Joe Aresimowicz. Email him at

In the past few years, several states have legalized recreational weed and/or medical weed. Many of these states have even closed their budget gaps because of the tax revenue windfalls created by legal weed. Colorado made $67 million from marijuana (through taxes, licenses, and fees) in the first year of legalization, 2014. Last year they made $247 million. Our neighbors to the north and to the east have both legalized weed recently. It's not hard to smell which way the wind is blowing. And yet...

Malloy is an idiot. That has to be it, right? That's everybody's go to reason for things sucking in Connecticut. And he does deserve some of the blame; he has said he would veto any bill to legalize weed, so he hasn't exactly set an agreeable atmosphere for legalization. But no bill has even gotten to his desk.

Maybe the Puritanical belief system is still too firmly ingrained in Connecticut's psyche to get over our qualms about the "morality" of legal drugs. We are liberal when it comes to most things, but as a whole, Connecticut is uptight as hell. It was only a few years ago that stores could sell alcohol on Sunday.

To be fair, some people have legitimate concerns about legalizing weed. These concerns are based on years of anti-marijuana propaganda, but hey, people are still concerned. Despite the fact that it is not nearly as harmful as alcohol or tobacco, it's true that kids shouldn't be smoking or eating it, and people shouldn't be driving impaired. However, the science and research shows that we needn't
 be that concerned. There has been no increase in the rates of usage among kids in states where it has been legalized. People do drugs at around the same rate no matter what. Legalization doesn't make someone who wouldn't smoke pick up smoking. It just means people that want to smoke can do so a little more easily. We will have to be careful about letting kids get it, because there have been cases where kids accidentally ate weed edibles, but those kids are fine! They took a nap and got over it. Honestly though, those few incidents don't outweigh the benefits. Besides, if we really cared about kids, we would have banned smoking cigarettes years ago. And guns, but that's a different post. 

Driving safety is a more valid concern. One study showed that Colorado has seen more accidents involving weed since legalization. Some advocates of legal weed have even cited this study as an issue. The thing is, the study never says that weed is a cause of these accidents! It also says very clearly that the stated results are inconclusive, and that most of the people involved in the accidents also had other drugs in their system, mostly alcohol. The idea that weed would lead to more accidents makes a kind of logical sense: some people are awful drivers, and any added amount of distraction is bad. Intuition doesn't always equate to fact, though. When people are tested for weed after an accident, that test doesn't show if the person smoked an hour ago or a month ago. It would be the same results. There's simply no causation between weed and an increase in accidents. And again, if we cared so much about impaired driving, we would ban alcohol, or at least enforce stricter DUI laws.

As always, there are other, more absurd arguments for keeping weed illegal. Most people know that the hysterics shown in "educational" films like Reefer Madness were ridiculous propaganda, so the anti-weed people have gone to different, although similarly absurd lengths to make their argument. Illinois police recently said they will have to KILL THEIR OWN DOGS if weed becomes legal! The canines in the K-9 unit would be laid off and there are simply no alternatives but to kill those unemployed bum dogs. Obviously. Duh.

Others hang on to simpler (yet just as wrong) claims like weed is a gateway drug. These claims are often put forward by people or groups with vested interests in keeping weed illegal. Not to fall into conspiracy theories, but it's really hard to understand the hesitance of some politicians on the issue of legalization, especially in a place like Connecticut. Maybe it's because the pharmaceutical companies don't want a drug on the market that they don't own. Doctors in Maine (and all over, really) suggested using marijuana to help fight the opioid epidemic. You know, the epidemic that is killing about 60,000 people a year for the past few years; the deadly epidemic that was started by Purdue Pharma and unscrupulous doctors who pushed opioids on unassuming patients. The epidemic that pharmaceutical companies are still profiting from.

States with legal medicinal marijuana have lower rates of opioid overdoses than states without. 
We have to decide if we care more about people dying than about people getting high. There have simply never been any marijuana overdoses. Weed can also help alcohol/drug relapses in addicts. People getting high on weed is objectively preferable to people dying from overdoses.

People do drugs, it should be a priority to make sure they are doing it in the least harmful manner. Legalize and regulate all drugs. Places that have needle exchanges for drug addicts have lower incidences of HIV/AIDs and overdoses. It would be better if those people didn't do the drugs, but they are doing them; let's make it as safe as possible so they don't hurt others and they minimize the damage to themselves. Limit their doses, and make sure they aren't accidentally getting fentanyl.

We need to be much more practical. Legalizing weed, in particular, should be a no-brainer (pun based on anti-weed propaganda intended). Legalizing weed can cut down on overdoses, so even if it means more people overall smoke weed than before (which isn't necessarily going to happen) we should legalize it for healthcare reasons. Weed can help fund schools and infrastructure (or pensions or social services or the thousands of other things we don't have the money to pay for in CT) so we should legalize it for financial reasons. 

There's just so many reasons to legalize it, and I'm not even getting into the racial disparities when it comes to the criminalization of weed, even in that bastion of liberal progressivism, New York City. All races do drugs at approximately the same rate, yet (surprise!) white people get arrested for it much less. That also means that once we legalize, we must immediately vacate all prior arrests and release anyone in jail on weed related charges.

There are simply no more excuses for keeping weed illegal. It's practical on a social, moral, and financial level, and it has bipartisan support. Make something good happen for once, Connecticut! Email/call/harass (legally) your legislators here.

I Love You All...Class Dismissed.

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

The Truth Behind The Hug Shared Round The World

Ferguson, Missouri. 2014. Michael Brown, an unarmed 18 year old  black man, was gunned down by a police officer and left in the street for hours. Over the next weeks, protests across the country erupted between mostly black citizens and the police.

The country was tense. Heated Facebook exchanges occurred daily. People equated the Ferguson "riots" with the LA riots of the 90s, forgetting that over 60 people died in the LA riots. Regardless, it was a very serious situation, and the tension between police (and many white Americans) and black Americans was at a level not seen in years. America, specifically white America, needed something, anything, to assure us that everything would return to normal. All we saw on tv were black people and police yelling at each other, oftentimes exchanging projectiles: water bottles on one side, metal gas canisters/rubber bullets/pepper spray on the other. America was seemingly falling apart.

And then, an image went viral. An image that restored our faith in humanity. An image that held within it the promise of a better country. The promise that our differences were not so vast and our grievances were not so serious that a simple gesture of kindness couldn't fix it. And here was that gesture captured on film for the world to see: a black child at a protest in Portland, Oregon, crying his eyes out, embracing a white cop in a riot helmet. Beautiful. Powerful

This was the real America.

Image result for viral photo ferguson kid hugging cop

Racism ended that day. Police brutality ceased. White people gained rhythm. It was glorious.

Tragically, none of that actually happened. When the photo went viral, the media framed it as an inspiring, kind-hearted moment that we all need to emulate. We should all try to be like the young boy, clearly upset at the events occurring in the world, yet embracing someone viewed as "the enemy." If we were just able to put aside our differences for one moment, we could come together as a nation and move on from the racial tension.

Of course, that was complete bullshit. But it's not uncommon for the media, and us, the consumers, to reach for feel good moment that can distract us from the deeper issues and give us hope that "normalcy" will return.

This particular case is worse than normal because the story behind the photo completely contradicts the positive narrative that was created. But worst of all, and the reason that I'm discussing this image, is that the boy in the picture, along with his adopted family, just died in a crash that has been deemed intentional.

The boy, Devonte, was adopted with 5 other children by two white women. After the pic went viral, one of his mothers was quick to explain how she had encouraged Devonte to "face his fears" of police by...confronting and embracing police. This should have been the first sign that something was seriously wrong in this family situation.

Even if the family situation wasn't fucked up, the idea that it is up to black people (black children even!) to ease racial tension and stop police brutality would still be problematic, insulting even. The issue of police brutality is not going to be solved by black people hugging cops. It's not about them "confronting their fears." That's trying to treat a symptom instead of the disease. In fact, it's trying to "solve" a natural, life-saving reaction that many black people have towards police based on personal experience and US history.

In addition to all that, the family situation was fucked up. One of the mothers had been charged with domestic violence. Friends expressed concern about how the women were treating the children, and neighbors reported that they would deprive children of food as punishment. 

So there were some serious issues. On top of the fact that the women were abusive assholes, they were also white parents of adopted children of color. It's great that they were willing to adopt outside of their race, but oftentimes that willingness is based on a vision of one's self as some kind of "savior." I've personally experienced this mentality; at least two people on separate occasions have told me they want to adopt African babies to save them. And if that conscious or subconscious attitude doesn't exist, white parents with black children still often have difficulty dealing with the realities of race and the myriad issues their children will face.

In this instance, the mother could not have been more clueless if she were Stacey Dash. She was offensively clueless. Videos of black people getting killed or abused were going viral every week. Across the country, black people were protesting the very real, very long-standing issue of police violence against minority communities. Yet she thought that Devonte's intense fear of cops was just something he needed to "get over," not a pervasive societal issue that we all need to confront.

A lot of good-hearted white people think they are improving race relations simply by adopting a child of another race, or by dating someone of another race. It's good to not be biased in who you date or love, but it has literally zero effect on society in general. You don't deserve an award. You're a normal person. Congrats! Similarly, many people think they're helping when they make their child do something like wear a sign that says "free hugs," but often they don’t fully understand the implications of their actions. And of course, sometimes, it's just to make themselves feel better.

Devonte shouldn't have had to go through that moment. He was clearly not comfortable or happy. Then he had to deal with the fact that the whole world saw him in this intense, emotional moment, and that was what he would be known for going forward. He also had to deal with his mothers telling anybody within earshot that they "saved" him from a life of violence and drugs by adopting him. So it's no assumption to think they thought of themselves as saviors; they literally said it!

I don't want to theorize too much about what was going through anybody's mind, but I was always disturbed by that picture. All I could see was the fear and hurt in Devonte's face. Knowing his family history simply reinforces that feeling. Devonte's biological aunt fought for custody and lost in 2010. Was he aware of that? There were allegations of abuse by his adopted parents later in 2010. Was he as afraid of his new mothers as he was of police? It's very possible that in that moment captured on film, he subconsciously or even consciously knew he was being used as a pawn in a fake uplifting moment.

A hug is not solving racism. An embrace is not stopping police brutality. The "political differences" we have are not merely based on which politician we prefer, they are based on serious issues and the way we all see and experience the world. They can not simply be put aside. There's nothing wrong with a hug, per se. I love hugs! But a forced hug between a terrified child and an authoritative figure in riot gear is not a sign of progress; it's a sign that we simply do not have the capabilities to honestly address our problems as a nation.

We want simple answers. We want a heartwarming story. But we have to stop accepting things on their surface and look for the truth, even if it's ugly.

Inspectors believe the parents intentionally drove their family off a cliff. Neighbors reported them two weeks before the crash, telling police that Devonte came to their houses every day asking for food. The poor boy probably lived his whole life in fear and was killed by two people who viewed themselves as his savior. That is the story. It is sad as hell, but it's more interesting and it's more real than the story we wanted to believe.

I Love You All...Class Dismissed.

Thursday, April 12, 2018

SWP, Fashion Legends

Prof Thug already wrote the origin story of Spoven Weedle Presents...
Now I wanna get inta tha art that made SWP tha Fashion Behemoth of tha late '00s n early '10s. Below are (almost) all tha shirts SWP wore in tha Real Beer Pong League (RBPL).
Look at tha shirts. Read tha captions. Be impressed. Weedle.


SWP...Cap'n Thuggy & His Sidekick Barf
Spoven Weedle Presents...wasn't a team in tha RBPL until tha third season. Once they came together, it took a lil while to gel on tha table. Before this, tha members a Weedle had only played against each other. Joinin forces was like a Marvel Crossover event. We didnt have any designs for tha first couple weeks, n this was an early, simple design. Tha back simply said tha title for that week, which introduced the Weedle team members. We hadn't gone much past lettering n a few random marks for tha designs yet.

Spoven Weedle Presents...We Love Nappy Headed Ho's
Our most infamous shirt ever. We had worn a few shirts before this (they aint featured here cuz they are lost to tha sands a time) but they were mostly based off inside jokes; they ain't exactly make a wave in tha world a Beer Pong or Fashion. This shirt changed tha game. This was a direct response to Don Imus's idiotic comments about tha Rutgers women's bball team. The offensive comments nearly ruined his career. Prof Thug wore this at Roma's n it helped create tha World-Famous SWP brand that everybody knows n loves. Context matters. Intent matters. That prick Imus was intentionally demeanin black women, SWP was showing our support for tha tightly-curled, thick haired beauties out there. We truly do love y'all. N you ain't hoes, but like Amber Rose, we reclaim derogatory words as empowerment slogans. Here's ta tha sluts n hoes!

SWP...THC: Twisted, Hittin' Cups
Added a little flair here. Gettin a lil more creative with tha hangman design n tha acronym.

SWP...But It Did Happen
Always been a big fan a The Scream. This also gave an opportunity ta introduce tha Weedle shadow characters (did yall even know there are two figures on tha bridge behind tha screamin guy?). Tha title is a reference to Magnolia, tha movie that helped create Spoven Weedle. This was tha shirt we wore for tha playoffs that year. We had like 3 total wins all season n nobody expected us to get far. We wanted ta show faith in ourselves, n how cool would it have been if we won n busted out: "but it did happen!" 
It did not happen.


SWP...Fuck Roma's
A new season, a new opportunity ta create. Of course we started by takin a shot at tha former location a tha league. After a violent altercation between Roma's owner n tha RBPL Commish, the league moved ta tha Legendary Pulaski Dome n never looked back. Tha best move in RBPL history, celebrated by one a tha best early Weedle shirts.

SWP...The Most Hated/Loved Team in the history of sports
This shirt reflects tha duality a tha Weedle. On one hand, we were becomin tha league's most recognizable, entertainin team, with hordes a people clamorin ta see tha new design each week. On tha other hand, it's safe ta say not evrybody was impressed by our shirts or by tha way we took over tha league. Some people still thrive purely offa their hate fer tha Weedle. Either way, I'm just glad we inspired people.

SWP...Santa Liqueor and the New Year Revolutions
Our first Christmas shirt. This was a reference ta Upright Citizen's Brigade, a highly influential show fer tha Weedle. This is tha first appearance a tha Nick Jake n Prof Thug characters (they're different from tha shadow characters; try ta keep up with tha Weedle mythos aite?).

SWP...Masters of the Universe
Obvi, SWP's aesthetic is influenced by pop culture. Here we stole some famous logos ta create our own n referenced one a tha greatest films-based-on-a-cartoon-based-on-action-figures of all time.

SWP...Dark Side of the Spoon
There's a lot goin on here. There's tha flip a SWP (Stoned While Ponging). There's Buddha, who became a prominent figure in tha Weedleverse. There's tha reference to Pink Floyd's masterpiece mixed with a reference ta tha Matrix's first scene with tha oracle. This was not a reference to heroin, as many people thought. There is no spoon.

SWP...We Shall Overcome
Once again, tha creativity is so overflowin that we basically have two titles for this shirt. This season is full a shirts like this, where the front don't necessarily relate directly ta tha back.
On tha front, an ode ta WWE's NWO n tha proclamation that Weedle lives by. On tha back: a popular phrase/song from tha Civil Rights Movement; tha Buddha returns ta quote Gandhi, who influenced the US Civil Rights Movement; n tha Weedle shadow characters imitatin Tommie Smith n John Carlos, two important figures in tha Civil Rights Movement. Power to tha people.

SWP...Bigger Than Jesus
This was a big hit. Underdog is my dawg and a underrated (go figure) superhero. He got tha heart of a true Weedle. Of course, Jesus is our homeboy, so he's part a tha Weedleverse. In addition ta takin thadesign quality ta tha next level, we also made a powerful statement on tha back. A statement first made by John Lennon, in our case, it was actually true.

SWP...The Ten Pong Commandments
First we came fer Jesus, then we came fer Moses. Here, tha front n back are closely connected. Obvi we're referencin tha classic cover of The Notorious BIG's debut album, n tha back is an ode to his classic drug guide book, Ten Crack Commandments. We didn't make these rules up by tha way; they were handed down to us on the top of a mountain by a burnin bush. Shit was crazy.

SWP...Lunatic Stare Defense
Jimi on tha front. Beaker on tha back. What more could you ask for?
This was an actual defensive technique that we used. Opposin teams were not fans. Hey, make tha shots.
This is where tha Prof Thug n Jake characters evolved inta tha red, circley-eyed scamps we know n love today.

SWP...Magically Delicious
We were playing our good friends/foes Irish Inc, who were part of SWP International. We kidnapped all of their faves.
America >>>Ireland.

My first appearance. Lookit that smile. We used the common acronym PEACE, made popular by Tha Gravediggaz, and embraced by us as a lifestyle. This was also a call back to an acronym we coined on the Bigger than Jesus shirt: WWSWPD. After years wonderin what Jesus would do, we finally asked, what would Stoned Willy Poonhound do?

Papa's Pub One Night Tourney

SWP...The Little Weedle That Could
The special guest was our man Kevin Golas, not R. Lord Chu. Commish Chu completely bagged tha Weedle that night, a recurrin theme thru tha many seasons a RBPL.


SWP...Return of the Jebby
I came back wit a fury...n some fine bitches. Get with me or get lost.
On tha back, we introduced Yoda ta tha Weedleverse n explained an important concept in tha Weedle mythos: The Jebby. The Jebby is tha gray area in life, tha undefined, tha mysterious, tha complex, the beautiful paradoxes that define existence.

SWP...Life is Like a Box of Weedle
That's a classic front with Forrest n me. That should be a sequel. Zemeckis, holla at me. Look at tha attention ta detail on tha front: tha suitcase, tha bench, tha floating feather. Tha "Box" from tha famous quote is filled with Weedle characters, plus tha peace sign n tha Yin-Yang, probly tha most important symbols in tha Weedleverse.

SWP...Don't Think
A game a Where's Willy on tha front, with new Weedle characters Waldo n Darryl Strawberry. Then Bong Boy, Jesus, Buddha, Baby Prof Thug, Random Guy, n Death appear on tha back. "Don't Think" is another reference ta Upright Citizen's Brigade, its also an important mantra while playin beer pong, designin shirts, sexin yer girl, or bowling.

Here tha week's title was on tha front. Tha front also let everyone know where tha Shadow characters came from. The next step in human evolution...
The back broke down the history of the Weedle jerseys up til that point. There were some great names that didn't get a shirt, but, I mean, what could ya even draw for a "Cum Fart Cocktail"?

SWP...When Thuggy Met Jakey
Tellin tha Weedle origin story thru images n references ta tha most infamous Meg Ryan moment.
It's mostly accurate.

SWP...Why's Everybody Always Picking on Weedle
My man Alfred E. Newman is a huge influence on tha Weedle, as is tha Peanuts crew, especially Lucy, tha chaos agent. Look, if yer gonna keep givin us tha opportunity ta fuck with you, we're gonna fuck with you. This was also a sly reference ta tha fact that tha people in charge a tha league were always lookin fer ways ta keep tha Weedle down. We see you. We ain't worried.

SWP...Life's a Bitch...And Then You Weedle
In honor of a close Weedle relative lost too soon to cancer.
This added another dimension ta myself n tha Shadow characters. Are they ghosts? Are they angels? Can they travel to n from tha afterlife? Is that a fly ass velour tracksuit I'm wearin? Tha answer ta at least one a those questions is yes.

SWP...Enter the Weedle
We never stuck ta tha same format fer long. Tradition n routine just aint our thang. So here, tha title for tha week's on tha front, with an incredible homage to tha Wu's debut album cover. On tha back, we straight up combined brand forces. That's one powerful image.

SWP...In Weedle We Trust
As Alfred E. Newman n Peanuts are ta tha Weedle, tha Weedle is ta Scientology n tha Illuminati. Think on that. Then join us.

SWP...National Association for the Advancement of Weedle Peoples
At first glance, NAAWP could be taken tha wrong way. Altho white people are welcome in tha NAAWP, that "W" stands for that Weedle, that Wizdom. There's already a National Association for tha Advancement of White People. It's called the Republican Pary nahmean!
Just want ta make that clear, if tha rainbow people wasnt a big enough clue that Weedle is all-inclusive.

SWP...The Last Crusade
Indiana Willy n tha Knights a tha Weedle Table. Indiana Jones is tha best trilogy in history. I admire his world-travellin n panty-droppin abilities. Also, there's no 4th Indy movie.

SWP...A Very Spoven Christmas
Another Weedle Christmas item, this time a Sing-a-long record, with 15 classic Weedle Holiday jams. "Some Jewish Song" is still my fave.
Recognize tha power a tha Weedle: we finally brought Santa n Jesus together. L'chaim!

SWP...Weedle Envy
Absolute classic front. Prof Thug really impressed me with this one tbh. Look at tha shadin on tha crotch! This dude spent hours shadin that marshmallow man junk! Appreciate tha art!
The back was a reference to a common ailment at RBPL n across the globe. People just cant handle not bein a part of the movement, which is wild cuz all ya gotta do ta be a part of it is ask. Some fools even went so far as namin their team SWIG (Spoven Weedle is Gay). First of all, Spoven Weedle is 100% pro-LGBT, so what now? That aint an insult. Secondly, ya can't just use our name in yer name like that man! Shit is copyrighted! Thirdly...stop hatin ya lil dick losers!


SWP...Drugs, Crime, Gorillas
One a my all-time faves. Tha front is jus a dope ass logo, n once again my man Prof Thug kinda impressed me with tha back. That's sharpie on cotton yall, come on! Look at tha details...those are shrooms sproutin under "Drugs" n that's yellow police tape under "Crime."
Tha name is an inside joke, a reference to a rap song with a chorus that jus repeated: "We got Drugs. Crime. GORILLAS." How could we not use that?

SWP...Going Full Retard
Never go full retard. I'm still banned from tha Academy.

Candy Land is iconic simply cuz of tha design n colors n names, so we had ta give it props. Our land is wayyyy more fun than Candy Land tho, trust. Shit, it's got an A+ ratin from tha Board Game Certification Board, n 36% of all players dont even get past Mushroom Mountain!

SWP...Beer Pong Jihad
Atomic Willy.
We had ta clarify our position on use of force. Don't take Weedle kindness fer Weedle weakness.

SWP...The Electric Weedle Acid Test
Get on the bus with tha Weedle! You're either on or yer off. Ode ta one a tha Weedle's Most Important Books.
And of course we had ta shoutout tha godfather a Pop Art on tha front. Willy as Marilyn by Andy.

SWP...Echoing Thru Eternity
Gladiator Willy. Yall are entertained.

SWP...The Greatest Show on Earth
Some love from my tiger Tony on tha front n Ringmaster Willy on tha back.
For the record, SWP is against circuses. We simply acknowledge their impact on American pop culture. Still, fuck em.

SWP...Black Magic Weedle
Trend. Setters. First black shirts. Had ta shoutout The Punisher, one a tha illest logos ever.
Also had ta let people know that Weedle aint afraid a tha Dark Arts. I was born in tha darkness n shit.

SWP...The Hollyweedle Squares
Usual Suspects shoutout with Weedle regulars Beaker n Yoda on the front, game show shoutout with SWP Inc. members on tha back. Big ups ta Shadoe Stevens, sorry ya didnt make tha cut. Ganesha is very persuasive.

SWP...In the beginning, there was Weedle
Gettin biblical with Link Willy.


SWP...Weedle Erotic Asphyxiation
This is a serious issue I wanted ta shed light on. I lost too many loved ones ta this horrible affliction. Listen, ya either need a spotter, a break-away belt, or some other kinda safety mechanism. Yer life is not worth riskin; I mean, it is cuz tha orgasm is ammaaaaaazin, but if ya die, ya cant properly enjoy it.
RIP David Carradine n Michael Hutchence, ya wild ass freaks.

SWP...This Is It
The Kings of Pop Art Fashion. Shoutout MJ. He aint touch those kids.

SWP...Where The Sidewalk Ends...The Weedle Begins!
A personal fave. Shel Silverstein is incredibly influential in tha Weedleverse.

SWP...Civil Disobedience: It's The Weedle Way
Reppin great moments in Civil Disobedience n Social Justice from round tha globe.
Also, Jesus Loves ODB.

SWP...Mission: Abort The Competition
Abortion is a touchy subject, so of course we approached it with tha dignity n grace that tha Weedle is known for. Yes, Nick Jake wore a bandana in tha womb.

SWP...Super Happy Fun Weedle Time!
Speed Racer Willy on tha front, n tha back...look, it was a different time. I blame this on Most Extreme Elimination Challenge n Mickey Rooney.
Pokemon Weedle makes an appearance. A lotta people thought Weedle was a reference to Pokemon when we first brough the Weedle inta tha public domain, but Thug n Jake didn't even know what Pokemon Weedle was. Honestly, Pokemon was not an influence on SWP at all; but we respect it's lace in tha culture. Plus, Pokemon Weedle is a transformin creature n Weedle is a transformational force so it all works.

SWP...Dr. Poonhound, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Weedle
Yes, that dong is properly proportionate, ladies.
Shoutout two geniuses: Leonardo da Vinci n Stanley Kubrick. Huge influences on tha Weedle.

SWP...The Island of Misfit Weedles
This year, our truce with Santa was ripped up. We had ta keep Jesus out tha loop on this one. I wanted ta give out gifts, n I got tha Abominable Snowman as muscle. Who's gonna stop me?

SWP...Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die
The spirit a Hunter S. Thompson n Dr. Gonzo live on in tha Weedle. Don't stop here, it's bat country.

SWP...So Many Levels
Shoutout to our homey from Irish Inc. for this suggestion. We had the name, n we put all tha Weedle quotes, he suggested havin people sign tha shirt as well. A livin yearbook. Much love to all tha signees.

Oh My God! It''s... dope!

SWP...Two In The Pink
Welcome Pink Panther to tha Weedleverse.
This was tha first time both Weedle players wore jerseys. We had to do it. For tha titties.


SWP...Symbols of Greatness
Shoutout Joe Biden n his gaffes. I miss gaffes.
First appearance a Captain Caveman n Abe Lincoln in tha Weedleverse. This shirt was drawn by our first young acolyte. Tha demands on Prof Thug were too much at this point so we found someone who could take up tha artist mantle when he couldn't. Besides, it's important ta pass knowledge n responsibility on ta tha next generation ta keep tha movement alive n growin.

SWP...SWP's Most Wanted
McWilly tha Crimehound doin a service ta tha community by puttin an APB out fer a powerful man who protected child molesters. We can proudly say our campaign led ta his resignation.
1-800-SWP-GOT-U, bitch!

SWP...The Weedles
Another watershed moment in fashion history. Completely different structure than any other shirt, n the results were beautiful. Shoutout tha White Album.
We were once bigger than Jesus, here we became bigger than tha Beatles.

Michael Keaton, Tim Burton, n their creation Beetlejuice made a huge impact on tha Weedle.
Tha Beetlejuice cartoon is highly underrated too.
We got tha juice now.

SWP...C.L.I.T. Commander
Willy is tha hero we need n want n lust for. Shoutout Bluntman n Chronic n Boo Boo Kitty Fuck.

SWP...Somos Todo Weedle
We are all Weedle. In unity with immigrants in Arizona n all over tha country. Fuck Jan Brewer. Abolish ICE.
This is another example of reclaimin racist images. Willy can dress up in a sombrero n poncho cuz he can really grow that mustache n he has real love for Mexico. Speedy has no excuse for that kerchief tho. Or that accent.

SWP...Stop World Pollution
Some call us environmentalists, some call us tree huggers, some call us environmental terrorists. We call ourselves agents of change. We couldn't sit back n watch as BP spilled millions of gallons of oil inta tha sea. After this shirt was released, tha leak in tha Gulf of Mexico was immediately plugged. Yer welcome, fish n emotional Native Americans n Planet Earth.

SWP...Big Willy Style
Pushin boundaries of fashion. With my face.


SWP...Fear of a Weedle Planet
Weedle is Public Enemy number wuh, wuh, one...
Shoutout Chuck D n Flava Flav n Terminator X n Sistah Souljah n tha S1-Ws. Public Enemy's logo was one a tha first things I loved related ta hip hop.

SWP...Weedle is Everywhere (Look Closer)
A true statement, n a reference to an important movie in Weedleology: American Beauty. I'm playin tha part a tha beautiful young teenager in a tub a roses. If Kevin Spacey wants me it'll be consensual.
This was tha last proper shirt we did. We had moved on from tha fashion industry ta conquer tha world a writin.


SWP...By Any Means Necessary
We had ta come back n do it to em one more time fer tha 10th season.
Shoutout Red aka Malcolm Little aka el-Hajj Malik el-Shabazz.

There were a few other shirts, mostly put together by young acolytes. They're official Weedle merch but they're in tha discount bin:

This was our first attempt at iron-on images. We weren't satisfied with tha quality once tha stickers were ironed on. Tha stickers were dope tho.

Thanksgiving special. I kinda like this one. Ultra-minimalist.

After a few seasons, we started signin teams as part of our brand. One of our first signees, our brothas from otha mothas, was tha legendary Team Reparations. Reclaimin racist images again cuz honestly, who doesnt like grape soda n a bucket a extra crispy? Those teeth look kinda crazy tho.
Also, tha US should 100% give black people reparations.

Spoven Weedle Presents...Team Reparations

We also did a lotta side bets durin games. We lost one so we had ta make a shirt for another team. We had our intern hook it up real quick.

Spoken Evil Presents...(Bizarro Weedle)

Last but not least, we end with tha one shirt never released n never worn. Shoutout Frank Dreben.

Spread World Peace...Shop Weedle Products