Ten Years Gone (Holding On)

I've been working at Pathways/Senderos for 10 years. Before working there, I had never been at a job for longer than 2 years. It's the best youth program I've ever come across, and I'm proud to be a part of it.

Me, 2008

This is Pathways 25th year. It's rather incredible that a small non-profit in New Britain has lasted so long, especially considering the state budget cuts over the last few years. It's a testament to the staff, the board, and the program's methodology. If our program didn't work, we would never receive the support we do from the community and from funders. Good programs lose funding and disappear all the time, though, so our board and staff deserve a lot of credit for the work they put in.

I wrote about the Founder of Pathways, my former boss Roseanne, when she passed away last year. She built the program from the ground up and received national recognition for her work. She laid the groundwork for the agency and to this day we are still benefiting from a lot of what she did.

When she left, it would have been very easy (and common) for the agency to collapse. Many folks were worried that we wouldn't survive.

Thankfully, the people who had worked so hard to get the program to its high level of success continued to do the same when she retired. Staff and volunteers provided guidance and assistance to students, and the board of directors ensured that staff members had the support needed to move forward and determine the future direction of the program. Most importantly, the two staff members (Nick and Heather) who had been at the agency the longest, and who were personally selected to secede Roseanne, worked harder than ever in their new roles of Co-Executive Directors to provide the same level of service to our boys and girls.

There were certainly difficulties. Receiving less funding every year because of state budget cuts hasn't helped, yet we have managed to find other funding by diversifying our donor base. Even though we haven't been able to take as many field trips or buy as much food for students, we are structurally and financially secure. We are collaborating with more programs and agencies throughout the city and expanding our impact even further.

When Nick and Heather took over as Directors, we had to pull off a 20th Anniversary Gala that was more than halfway through the planning stages. It could've gone horribly wrong, which would've been extremely embarrassing, since legislators, community agencies, alumni, funders, and our supporters had already RSVP'd.

However, it went incredibly well. We raised money, celebrated our successes, and reassured people that the agency was going to be just fine.

The night of the Gala, UConn was playing in the NCAA tournament, and we had the game on. This was the year Shabazz Napier was a Senior and Kevin Ollie had taken over as coach for Jim Calhoun. UConn had been suspended the year before, a lot of players left once Calhoun was out, and the future of UConn basketball was looking abysmal; yet Ollie and Napier silenced all doubters and won the title. After it happened, I was going to write a blog post about how Heather and Nick were like Ollie, successfully taking over a historic franchise from a well-known, accomplished leader. At the time it was a great metaphor; it would've been one of my best posts! But considering recent happenings with the UConn Men's basketball team and Kevin Ollie, I'm glad I didn't write it. The metaphor didn't really hold up because UConn Men's basketball is failing miserably and we've just gotten better and better.

It's safe to say that Pathways is in good hands. Since our 20th Anniversary, we have continued to see the same success; in fact, more of our graduates are going to (and completing) college. We recently held a 25th Anniversary, which was even better than the 20th.

We love what we do. More than ever, the program is a manifestation of that love. It helps that I work with one of my best friends, and I think our friendship greatly affects the program (how it is run, the atmosphere at the Center). It also helps that all of our staff members care about the program, the kids, and each other.
We call the Center a "parallel family" for a reason; we're not just a building where kids hang out after school. We are another family for these kids, sometimes the only one they have. Our family includes our staff, our kids, volunteers, board members, and graduates. It is an expansive support system for everyone involved and it goes well beyond academic assistance and sex education.

We always tout our stats (100% high school graduation, 80% go on to higher education, 94% working, etc.) because they are great, but there's much more behind the numbers. All of us, from staff to board to volunteers, have made meaningful, lifelong connections with many of our participants throughout the years. I'm a former student's Godfather! Technically, Confirmation Sponsor but still.

I have been extremely lucky to work at Pathways for so long. No matter how long I'm here, I want the program to continue on forever. I'm proud to say that we run an agency that  has been proven to help children succeed in school, careers, and life in general. The work that we have done has created a foundation that can and should be sustained and replicated for as long as children need support and guidance.

Me with my Pathways Family at our 25th Anniversary, 2018

I Love You All...Class Dismissed. 

Sands of Hope

My former boss just passed away, and although we hadn't been close for the past few years, I'm very grateful to her for hiring me and for all that she taught me.

At her bereavement services, her daughter said that her last 4 years were spent with family and she was very happy. That was good to hear. She deserved that. After building the program from the ground up and running it for 20 years, and decades of service before that, she deserved to do whatever she wanted in her golden years. I wish her time at the program ended a little differently, but it worked out for her and for us, so it's all good. She did so much for the program and for me personally; her death, although very sad considering her relatively young age, allowed me to fully appreciate her impact.

RoseAnne taught me a lot about working in the field of social work and non-profits. She also taught me a lot about working with and advocating for poverty-stricken kids. She didn't lecture, and she certainly didn't preach, she just gave many great lessons through conversation and actions.

The most amazing, and brilliant, thing she ever taught me was the audacity of hope. The phrasing is Obama's, but she exemplified the notion through her actions and philosophy. She used hope as a tool for individual and societal improvement. One of her quotes that defines the philosophy behind the program is, "hope is a powerful motivating force."

Our program teaches comprehensive sex education, and we put a heavy focus on academics and career readiness, but without giving our kids hope, none of that would matter. If a child believes they will be stuck in the same low-paying job in the same poverty-ridden area as most of their family and friends, sex education and academic assistance probably won't change their circumstances. But combine that with hope for a better future, plus a vision to achieve that future, and any child can accomplish incredible things.

RoseAnne helped manifest hope in many ways, but one way in particular will always stay with me for its strength through subtlety.

Just telling kids "you can do anything!" is fine and all, but its too vague and their vision of "anything" is very limited. They have to be shown real yet hopeful alternatives to the lives they see around them.

On her desk in her office, she kept little containers of sand from beaches around the world. Some of the sand was from places she had visited, others were from her friends and family. She had sand from Hawaii, Bequia, South Africa and an assortment of other places. She kept them at the front of her desk, and they sparked a lot of conversation.

Students would often visit her in her office. She always offered a place to vent or just sit in peace. The students who were having the most difficult time at school or at home were the ones who visited her office most. Inside, there was no judgment or punishment or demands. There was just the opportunity to talk to a grandmotherly presence.

One of the first things most kids saw when they talked to her was the sand. Inevitably, they would reach for a container or ask what it was. She would tell them where she got each one and reminisce about her trips. After a while, some kids would come in just to look at or play with the sand.

Eventually, they would talk about wanting to go to the places RoseAnne described, places they had never even heard of. She'd assure them they could get there some day. That they would get there. Why shouldn't a young boy from New Britain visit Egypt when he got older? Why shouldn't a young girl who had never been outside of her neighborhood visit Spain? Or Hawaii?

A mustard seed can move mountains, a grain of sand can instill hope. Knowing this was her genius. So many kids don't reach their full potential because they have no idea what their potential is. They literally can not conceive of a life outside of their own immediate circumstances. They don't know anything outside of the city (oftentimes just the neighborhood) in which they were born.

But that sand, and those conversations, illuminated a whole new world for them. That simple gesture was life-changing.

Students come into our program in middle school and are soon thinking about which college they'll attend. In the neighborhoods we serve, that was not the mentality that existed when RoseAnne started the program 25 years ago. Today, 80% of our students go to college.

Recently, one of our program graduates received her Master's Degree. From the University of Hawaii.

It started with hope and a grain of sand.

Rest In Peace RoseAnne.


I Love You All...Class Dismissed.

Voluntary Weirdos

I've been working with Pathways/Senderos for 8 years (!) now, and I have a lifetime of stories. Working with kids, most of whom live in poverty, a lot of these stories can be heartbreaking. Many are heartwarming. Some are just plain silly or ridiculous. Some are stories about things our kids tell us about their lives at home or in school; some are things that occur at the Center. One day I'd love to compile the best stories for a book or movie or HBO Series or maybe just my own personal journal. 

With all these stories and experiences, I've learned how resilient kids can (and have to) be on a daily basis just to survive. They've taught me more than I've taught them etc etc pull your heartstrings yada yada. In all sincerity, I admire these kids.

Some of the strangest stories are from adults, though. As a non-profit program that serves kids, we have opportunities for volunteering and we have had many amazing volunteers. We are very appreciative of their dedication and hard work. They add an important element to our program. However, there have also been several...interesting volunteers. Individuals who should probably be working on their own issues before trying to help others. Yet even some of these volunteers have brought something positive to the table. 

Then there's the more, shall we say, problematic volunteers. Part of my job is recruiting volunteers, so I have to take partial credit/blame for the people who end up actually volunteering, but I can't be blamed for ALL of the weirdos who simply contact me about volunteering. 

The worst case of a volunteer gone wild occurred before I started working there so I can't be held responsible for that, either. A student from CCSU volunteered at the Center years back. Staff members always got a weird vibe from him, but he seemed harmless. One day he bugged out then left and never came back. Later, they saw a story in the news about a CCSU student who stabbed his girlfriend. It was him. 

So we stopped taking college volunteers for a while. We do background checks, but not every person with violent tendencies has a record, so there is always somewhat of a risk.

One of the strangest volunteers we've had since I started was a retired pediatrician. He seemed like a nice enough guy and he was well respected in the city. He wanted to give back to the community now that he was retired. He even offered to give our kids free physicals. That set off a little alarm in my head because although it sounds helpful, would it even be legal? And where would he do these physicals? At the Center? What would they entail? 

Turns out it didn't really matter, because he only came to the Center twice. He didn't exactly make a connection with our kids. We have a few elderly volunteers, so it's not the age that prevented him from making a connection. He just never made the required effort. He must have thought he made a decent connection with me though because after the second visit, I received an email from him. It was one of those chain emails explaining how all Muslims are evil and that Christians need to do something soon before Muslims take over the world. I replied (probably the only person in existence to actually reply to his emails) and told him that we are open to people of all different faiths. I also asked not to be included in any more email chains. He apologized and I never heard from him again. 

But we sure heard about him. A few years later he died amidst a sexual abuse scandal. Former patients were accusing him of molestation. The case is still ongoing. 

Those "free physicals" really took on a whole new, horrifying meaning. So, yeah. Trust your instincts, especially when it comes to the safety of kids. 

Then there was the most recent volunteer debacle. Potential volunteer. She didn't make it past the interview. She was an older woman, a former social worker with an interest in our program and lot of experience with kids. We communicated through email a few times and I asked her to come in. She was very pleasant. I gave her my 10 minute spiel about Pathways and volunteers, then I asked her to tell me more about herself. 

Literally ten seconds into her life story, she starts crying. 

Dammit.

I tell her its ok, take your time. I may come off as an unfeeling asshole on here (hell, I may even BE an unfeeling asshole) but I know how to at least act empathetic. When she finally composed herself, she told me how she's going through this horrible court case that has basically ruined her life. She needed to do community service. I told her that we normally don't accept volunteers if it's court ordered community service, but that I would at least hear her out. 

She explained that about a year earlier, she was driving with her mother. Someone was walking in the street ("probably drunk," she was sure to include) and he hit her. Now I was confused. So the pedestrian hit the car? And she somehow knew he was drunk? She claimed that at the time, she was very confused and unsure of what happened. When she got home and tried to help her mom out of the car, she couldn't open the passenger door. That's when she knew something was wrong. 

THAT'S when she knew? 

She said she must have blacked out. The cops eventually came to her house and she was arrested for leaving the scene of a crime. Now she was still dealing with the court case. "But," she said as she held back tears, "I just hope something good can finally come from all of this." I understand and appreciate that sentiment. We all make mistakes and deserve redemption and if we can make something positive out of a negative situation we should do all what we can to make it happen. 

But something was really off. There was a lot missing from the story. I told her we probably couldn't take her on because of our policy, but I'd talk to my superiors. She thanked me and left.

We immediately went online to check out her story. What I don't understand is how people think they can keep secrets in this day and age. I mean, there's this thing called Google. It's really great for finding information, especially if it's public information from court dockets and popular news sites. 

We easily found out the rest of her story. Not only did she leave the scene of the crime, she was drunk, and the guy she hit ended up dying. She was charged with a DUI and involuntary manslaughter. So, yeah, a little more serious than she let on. I didn't appreciate how she seemed to blame the guy for hitting her and claiming he was drunk when in fact, it was all her. I also didn't appreciate how she left all of that out of her story. But I really didn't appreciate how she didn't tell me ANY of this in our initial conversations. Not one mention of the court ordered community service. It wouldn't have mattered, we weren't taking her on with or without the lying, but at least I wouldn't have wasted my time. 

I'll stop here, but know that I could go on for another few thousand words just on our volunteers. I'll save the rest for the movie.

I Love You All...Class Dismissed. 

An American Dream Deferred and Detained

Kalief Browder was 16 when he was arrested for stealing a backpack. After the arrest, he spent 3 years in the infamous Riker's Island waiting for a trial that never came. In fact, he was never officially charged with a crime. He was simply left to rot for three years, two of which he spent in solitary confinement, a cruel and inhumane punishment for anybody, let alone a 16 year old alleged shoplifter. 

This story would be awful enough if it ended there. Unfortunately, the real ending to this story is even more tragic, albeit sadly predictable. A few days ago, he took his own life.

This is a complete and utter failure of the entire justice system. Why is he in Riker's for petty theft? Why is he in solitary confinement? Why is the abuse of prisoners openly accepted? Why didn't he get a timely trial? How the fuck did we let this happen?

Kalief's death is a direct result of the broken justice system. John Oliver recently exposed one aspect in particular, our ridiculous bail system, and it helps explain Kalief's story. He was unable to raise $3,000 bail and unwilling to take a plea bargain, which would admit guilt, so he waited for a trial to prove his innocence. In prison, Kalief was beat by correction officers and inmates, all on video. This was in pretrial detention. He was not even serving a sentence! After charges against him were dismissed in 2013, Mayor de Blasio ordered solitary confinement for 16-17 year olds to stop. He didn't address the issue of waiting three years for trial or the issue of guards beating inmates or the issue of minors serving at Riker's in the first place, but I guess it's a start. Blasio claims he wants to raise the age requirement for solitary confinement, and that would be a wise decision, considering Kenan Davis, an 18 year old inmate, just killed himself in Riker's this past Wednesday (the second suicide at Riker's in 2015). Of course, considering the other horror stories. like Albert Woodfox, who spent 42 YEARS in solitary confinement for a charge that was overturned twice, he should just go ahead and ban solitary all together.

Even Republicans (well, one anyway) realize what a tragedy this was and that justice in America is simply not applied equally for whites and people of color. And we all know it doesn't apply to the rich and the poor equally either.

The rich can make most of their issues with the law go away by paying high priced lawyers and large fines. At most they might spend some time on house arrest. The relationship between people in poverty and the law is so far removed from that of the rich it has become a tv trope. Once a poor person becomes entangled in the "justice" system it's almost impossible to get out. They don't have the money for attorneys so they get harsher punishments. They can't pay the fines or bail so they have to spend time in jail (which should be outlawed anyway; as a society, we decided debtors prisons were immoral centuries ago). They spend time in jail or at court and they can't work, and most poor people don't have jobs where they can take time off, so they don't get paid. When they try to better themselves by looking for a better job, now they have a criminal record, decreasing their chances of finding one. They take some college courses to improve their career options but can't afford the supplies necessary, so they end up taking desperate measures. 

Or as in Kalief's case, they get falsely imprisoned and tortured. Let's say he did steal the backpack. Think about what that means. He was trying to get the very basic necessity to better himself: a bag to carry his school materials. After he was released from Riker's he was taking classes. He wanted to succeed, but the horrors of his time in prison damaged him permanently. The system is so completely stacked against the success of so many young people that he had no chance. He didn't fall through a crack in the system, he fell through a carefully crafted chasm.

Kalief's story resonates with me for many reasons, but largely because I see many of the kids I have worked with when I look at his pictures. I understand the importance of long term interventions. And I understand the importance of short term interventions, like providing a backpack. Where I work, Pathways/Senderos, we recently started our annual backpack project. We provide every one of our students, and their siblings if we can, with backpacks filled with school and hygiene supplies. Wherever there are school districts with a high percentage of the population living in poverty, there is a high absentee rate in the first week of school. A lot of these absences are attributed to students not having basic necessities. They end up falling behind and never catching up. They are low on self esteem to begin with, and their difficulty in school affirms their worst doubts about themselves. That in turn affirms some of the teachers' worst doubts, and many children simply never receive a proper education. Without a proper education, they often turn to a life of crime or become stuck in low paying jobs. The American Dream is a lie. 

"The American Dream" is dead.

This is the cycle of poverty that is so difficult to break; it requires long term intervention to change, but it also takes small, positive actions. A friendly inquiry into someone's life. Extra help with homework after school. A new backpack. These small actions can provide hope and momentary relief, and when they begin to add up, they lead to substantial, positive change. 

The story of Kalief Browder is so disturbing because of how it exposes the broken justice system and our failure to treat mental health issues in this country; it also reflects our despicable attitude toward the poor, an attitude I encounter a lot as an advocate for poverty stricken youth. I feel like I've met dozens of Kalief Browders. I see how individuals and the system (education, justice, health care, you name it) count them out or even actively discourage them. Many of the students I have worked with have similar stories as Kalief. It is my goal to help them avoid a similar ending.

I Love You All...Class Dismissed.

Be a Part of The Solution!

On Sunday, September 28th, Greater New Britain Teen Pregnancy Prevention, Inc. will be hosting its 16th Annual Pathways Walkathon.

I started working at Greater New Britain Teen Pregnancy Prevention, Inc.’s Pathways/Senderos Center (yeah, it’s a mouthful) in the summer of 2008. I had volunteered at the Center the previous summer, the same summer I started my own publishing company (which has been a smashing success; order my latest book now!). Coincidentally, my friend and college roommate Nick Jakubowski, who had recently started working at Pathways, wanted to start a writing project with the kids at his job. That summer, Pathways/Senderos and TH Circle Publishing released our first book: a collection of stories, anecdotes, and poems from the Pathways high school students titled, “Silenced Teen Voices Heard.” The next year, I was working full-time at Pathways, and we published another book, “Life + Love; Sex + Struggles.” These two books were funded by grants; unfortunately, we were unable to secure more grant funding for the project, but we were able to publish one last book in 2009: “Nobody But Us.” You can purchase all three books from the Pathways website:

www.pathways-senderos.com/SilencedTeenVoices.html

All proceeds from the books go to Pathways/Senderos.

Although we have been unable to publish more books since then, we do amazing things at the Center on a daily basis. Pathways/Senderos is a comprehensive teen pregnancy prevention program. Our mission is to prevent teen pregnancy, obviously, but that's a small part of what we do. We also aim to assure high school graduation and promote adult self-sufficiency. We help kids help themselves become successful adults. I am very proud of my job. I also truly enjoy my job. I see the benefit of what we do every day, and even more awesomely, the benefit of what we do on a long-term basis. The program is long-term, so our participants are in the program from 6th grade until they graduate high school. We get to watch them grow and mature and progress over a period of 7 years (longer really, because our graduates always come back to visit). It’s an amazing feeling to be a part of something so beneficial. If there is any solution to the cycle of poverty and teen parenting, Pathways/Senderos is it.

And now is your chance to be a part of the solution. On September 28th at Walnut Hill Park in New Britain, we are holding our annual fundraising event, the Pathways Walkathon. Our students, staff, board members, volunteers, and supporters gather behind the band shell for a 2 mile walk around the loop in the park. There will be refreshments, including apples and apple cider from Rogers Orchards, as well as a raffle. Prizes range from Stop and Shop gift cards to a free rental car (of your choosing) for a weekend (of your choosing) from Hoffman Auto.

All the proceeds from this event benefit the 60 boys and girls (and their families) that we serve on a daily basis. Money is important, but what would be even greater is a mass showing of support for these young boys and girls who are trying to make something of themselves. A huge group of people at the event will let these kids know they are a part of a community that cares about them.

Many of my friends and family have already donated or attended the event in the past, and several have expressed that they will be there this year. I don't know if they know how much it is appreciated, but I wanted to express my gratitude again. I am sincerely moved by your generosity.

Now I ask you all to consider attending this year's Walkathon, even if you never met me (Hi! My name is Geoff Elterich!) or never heard of Pathways/Senderos. Registration is at 9:30am, and all we ask is a $20 donation. If you can’t make it, please consider a donation, which you can easily make on our website.

I am proud to say that the work I do is important. More than that, these kids are important to me. I took this job because it let me start at 10am, had good benefits, and one of my best friends was working there. I still love this job after 6 years, partly for those same reasons, but mainly because it has transformed me from someone who was going through life without much care or direction, to someone who cares deeply about the world and the people around me. There’s no way I can pay that back, but I can pay it forward by spreading the message of Pathways/Senderos.

I hope to see you on the 28th. Peace.

I Love You All...Class Dismissed.