Quitting While You're a Head...of the Catholic Church

Fade in

March 12, 2013

Vatican City

Int. Sistine Chapel

115 scarlet-clad Cardinals are lined up in succession, waiting to place their hand on the bible and swear an oath in Latin. The line begins to move.

Camera pans down the line of Cardinals. Zoom in on the last two Cardinals in line.

CARDINAL 115

Hey. How long do you think this will take?

CARDINAL 114

However long it needs to. The next pope has very difficult obstacles ahead and he...

CARDINAL 115

No, no, no. This line. How long do you think this line will take?

CARDINAL 114

Oh. I don't know. 5 minutes?

CARDINAL 115

Ha! You wish! Come on, man, take a look at these guys. They're ancient. We're gonna be here for a good 11 minutes minimum.

CARDINAL 114

Whatever you say.

CARDINAL 115

Look at moleface up there. He's 93 years old! Christ, I'm surprised he's not in a wheelchair.

CARDINAL 114

He's very agile for his age. It's his eyesight and sanity that have completely vanished. What's your rush anyway?

CARDINAL 115

I gotta pee.

CARDINAL 114

You didn't go before you put your vestments on?

CARDINAL 115

I did.

CARDINAL 114

And you're not carrying a urine jar in the folds of your vestments?

CARDINAL 115

I am. It's full.

CARDINAL 114

Uhh, good God.

CARDINAL 115

Too much coffee. I knew it was gonna be a long day.

CARDINAL 114

You have the bladder of a 10 year old boy.

CARDINAL 115

Don't say that too loud, some of these guys might get excited.

The two men cover their mouths and snicker. Their laughter draws numerous icy stares from the other Cardinals.

CARDINAL 115

Shhhh. *giggles* Shhh. We're getting the death stares.

CARDINAL 114 

How can you tell? Looks like their normal faces to me!

More laughter. More icy stares.

CARDINAL 115

Ok. Ok. *giggles* Ok, stop. Not helping my bladder situation.

CARDINAL 114

I'm sorry. Man, I needed that. 

CARDINAL 115

Everybody's been so dreary lately. Ever since Ratzy left, it's like these guys got the weight of the world on their shoulders.

CARDINAL 114

Well, it is a pretty big decision.

CARDINAL 115

Yeah, I know. But it feels different than last time. Gloomier. There's more confusion. I don't know.

CARDINAL 114

No, you're right.

CARDINAL 115

Maybe it's the whole, "the head of of the largest religion in the world just up and quit" thing.

CARDINAL 114

Yeah. Could be.

CARDINAL 115

Yeah that's probably it.

CARDINAL 114

Definitely it.

CARDINAL 115

Yeah. Right?

CARDINAL 114

Definitely.

CARDINAL 115

Because, it's like, how come he can quit, but, like, I can't? Ya know?

CARDINAL 114

Yup.

CARDINAL 115

Ok good. So Im not alone here. I thought I was going crazy.

CARDINAL 114

Nope. Pretty much all I've been able to think about since he announced it.

CARDINAL 115

Right? Totally.

CARDINAL 114

I mean, I'm relatively young. There's a lot I could do with my life.

CARDINAL 115

Exactly. I can't tell you how good it feels knowing someone else feels this way.

CARDINAL 114

Right?

CARDINAL 113

Hey, what are you guys talking about?

CARDINAL 115 AND CARDINAL 114 IN UNISON

Nothing.

CARDINAL 113

Come on, you're talking about quitting, aren't you?

CARDINAL 115

Well...

CARDINAL 114

Yes. Yes goddamn it, yes.

A few of the Cardinals turn their heads around, mouths agape.

CARDINAL 114

Oh turn around you old fools. Yeah, we're talking about quitting. So what? The pope did it, why can't we?

CARDINAL 115

Yeah.

CARDINAL 112

Yeah!

CARDINAL 115 AND CARDINAL 114 AND CARDINAL 113 IN UNISON

Huh?

CARDINAL 112

Why can't we quit? Benedict Arnold just did it. And I've been here much longer than that little Hitler youth.

Snickering and laughter is heard throughout the chapel. That joke always killed.

CARDINAL 115

This guy's hilarious! I'm sorry I called you moleface before.

CARDINAL 112

Huh?

CARDINAL 115

Nothing.

CARDINAL 113

But how can we quit? A billion Catholics are counting on us to elect a new leader!

CARDINAL 112

Bah, a billion Catholics. A billion Catholics won't give a shit who we pick. And the ones who care would worship a blow-up doll if we told them to. 

CARDINAL 115

Blow-up doll?! This guy's on fire!

CARDINAL 113

So what are you saying Molefa...Your Eminence?

CARDINAL 112

I'm saying let's get the hell out of here.

Loud, astonished gasps throughout the chapel. The line stops moving completely. All of the Cardinals remain in earshot of the conversation, but most keep their spots in line, facing forward, in an attempt to hide their excitement.

CARDINAL 114

Hell yeah!

CARDINAL 115

All right, Moleface!

CARDINAL Molefa... 112 

Why does the future of the entire Catholic Church rest on our shoulders? Just because the last guy we picked can't handle the job? We are here, day in and day out, working to sustain the very fabric of our church, and he's relaxing, drinking sacramental wine and reading his Twitter feed? I say to hell with that.

CARDINAL 113

But, but what do we do? We can't just walk away?

CARDINAL 114 

Why not? Who's stopping us? There's no pope! 

CARDINAL 115

And if God doesn't want us to quit, he'll let us know.

CARDINAL 112

Men, this is the best I've felt in ages. I feel like I'm 85 all over again!

CARDINAL 115

So let's get out of here!

CARDINAL 113

But there's media everywhere outside. They'll stop us and know something's wrong.

CARDINAL 112

He's right.

CARDINAL 114

We have to act like everything is normal.

CARDINAL 112

Right. We'll have to stay here a while.

CARDINAL 113

And what about the sign?

CARDINAL 115

The sign?

CARDINAL 113

Yeah, the sign. You know, the smoke?

CARDINAL 115

Well, funny you should say that.

He reaches into the folds of his vestments and pulls out a bag.

CARDINAL 115

I got some of that "black smoke" right here! I know Moleface got some altar wine in there somewhere...

Moleface pulls out a full bottle from his vestments.

CARDINAL 115

...let's get this party started!

Loud cheering throughout the chapel.

CARDINAL 114

Wait a minute. Was that bag next to your urine jar?

CARDINAL 115

...

CARDINAL 114

Awww gross!!

Fade to black

I Love You All...Class Dismissed.

Movies That Made The Man

I love movies. I believe my taste in movies truly reflects my identity, and that movies have helped shape my identity. When people complain that entertainment is influencing the youth, it is much more complicated than simply "see violence on tv, cause violence in real life." I think movies have  an effect on your personality and your outlook on life, rather than any direct effect on your actions. For me, seeing violence on the screen was always really cool, but it also taught me that I wanted no part of it in real life. When I saw someone smoking crack in a movie, I wanted no part of it in real life. But it was really interesting to see those things and learn about people who do those sorts of things. Watching a variety of movies with a variety of characters taught me that there are many different ways of living and different ways of seeing the world. Movies taught me about personal relationships. Even trashy movies with no morality whatsoever taught me things; they showed me the dark side of life so I didn't have to experience it personally (even though I sometimes did).

I also had positive role models and concerned parents, so I wasn't relying solely on movies for my life lessons, something too many kids are left to do.

Movies are important to me. I can be picky, but I can also enjoy every genre; as long as the movie is done well, I can find pleasure in watching it. On the other hand, I can also enjoy a movie if it's horribly executed (i.e., the last decade of Nic Cage's career). Movies are such a big part of my personality that I judge other people by their movie tastes. I can always make exceptions for a few bad movies or a weird movie fetish (i.e., the last decade of Nic Cage's career) but if you have consistently bad taste, I can't respect you as a person. 

There are also a few movies that are deal breakers. If you don't like certain movies, or the opposite, if you do like certain movies, I have no use for you. For example, I went on a date several years ago and five minutes in, she said she hated American Beauty. I ended the date as soon as possible and never called her again. For another example, if you like anything with Jason Sudeikis in it, you should stop breathing for a while.

"I have to shit. Oooh, film it and let's call it my next movie."

Movies can leave lasting impressions on your identity. From simple things like quotes you use with your friends, to bigger things like how you view the world. Hell, some people base their whole lifestyles around certain movies. 

Not that I'm complaining.

Although I've never been one to base my entire personality and world view on one particular movie (I'm not joining the Dudeists no matter how much I like The Big Lebowksi) movies have definitely helped shape my sense of humor and my way of looking at certain situations, relationships, and life in general. In fact, they have helped me get through life. I can't imagine college without movies. Or high school. Or my childhood for that matter.

Movies can define an era in your life. The stage of your life in which you watch a movie can also affect your perception of that movie. If I watched Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas during middle school, I'd have no idea what was going on (it was hard enough to figure it out in college). It would have been one of those forgettable movies that have zero impact on your life, like every Judd Apatow film.

The best movies illustrate the complexities of living life as a human being; some try to offer answers and solutions, others ask you to come up with your own solutions, and some just make you laugh until you realize the absurdity of it all.

Dumb and Dumber: responsible for a bigger part of my identity than seems reasonable for any human being.

Below, I have listed a few different stages of my life and the movies that had the most impact during those times. "Childhood" is the most broad category, and many of the movies listed may have been watched more as a teen or a college student, but I feel they made the most impact during my childhood years.

Some categories overlap. For example, my early teen years are essentially my "childhood" too, and I was in college for my last 2 years as a teen. Also, I included my years as a graduate student in the "college" category. This isn't an exact friggin' science here, people, give me a break.

Some movies are listed twice because they made a separate and distinct, but equally powerful, impact on more than one stage of my life.

Within each category, movies are listed in no particular order.

Childhood 
E.T.
An American Tale
A Land Before Time
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Alice in Wonderland (1951)
Dumbo
Batman
The Neverending Story
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
Star Wars Episode IV: The New Hope
The Empire Strikes Back 
The Return of the Jedi
SpaceBalls
National Lampoon's Vacation
National Lampoon's European Vacation
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Ghostbusters
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
The Karate Kid
The Goonies
Who Framed Roger Rabbit
Airplane!
The Naked Gun
The Naked Gun 2 and 1/2
RoboCop
Beverly Hills Cop
Nightmare on Elm Street
Friday the 13th Part 3: Dream Warriors
Hellraiser
Platoon
Alien
Aliens
Back to the Future
Back to the Future 2
Stand By Me
The Dead Poets Society
Die Hard
Glory
A Christmas Story
The Untouchables
Scrooged
The Running Man
Coming to America
Muppets Take Manhattan
Pee-Wee's Big Adventure
Gremlins
Rocky
Rocky IV
Predator
Commando
UHF
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Beetlejuice
Stand By Me
Weekend At Bernie's
Jaws
Stephen King's IT
Halloween
Bloodsport
Edward Scissorhands
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

Teen
The Mask
Dumb and Dumber
Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls
The Naked Gun 33 and 1/3
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Groundhog Day
Usual Suspects
Pulp Fiction
Reservoir Dogs
The Shining
The Shawshnak Redemption
Psycho
Raging Bull
Taxi Driver
Full Metal Jacket
Mississippi Burning
Good Will Hunting
The Crying Game (I did not enjoy this film or even want to see it, but my parents dragged me and my brother...I think we were all equally traumatized)
Scarface
Do the Right Thing
Eddie Murphy: Raw
Richard Pryor Live on the Sunset Strip
The Exorcist
The Godfather
The Godfather Part 2
One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest
Scream
Forrest Gump
Silence of the Lambs
Goodfellas
Leaving Las Vegas
Fargo
True Romance
Natural Born Killers
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

College Freshman (I'm including this as a separate category because my freshman year, especially my first semester, was a lot different than the rest of my time in college. My roommate was barely around, I didn't have a grasp on the college scene yet, and I still hadn't realized the amount of school work I needed to do to succeed; so instead of partying or studying-the two activities that later defined my college career-I watched a lot of movies by myself in my dorm room on a 10 inch tv/vcr combo. I only owned a few movies, and I didn't have a lot of money to rent movies, so there were a handful that I watched over and over. Not all of them would be considered "classics" by any stretch of the imagination, but they will forever hold a special place in my heart)

ConAir
City of Industry
Lost in Space (with Joey from Friends)
SpaceBalls
Kalifornia

College 
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Magnolia
Gladiator
Rocky (what up Skinzz!)
Doc Hollywood (what up Skinnahhhhhh!)
Half Baked
Alice in Wonderland (1951)
Blazing Saddles
Usual Suspects
American Beauty
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Monty Python and The Holy Grail
Monty Python's Life Of Brian
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Clockwork Orange
2001: A Space Odyssey
Tango and Cash
Deliverance
Wizard of Oz (with Dark Side of the Moon)
Bowling for Columbine
Man on the Moon
Fight Club
The Matrix
Girl, Interrupted (Shut up. This is when I fell in love with Angelina Jolie...and it's a good movie)
Lost in Translation (When I fell in love with Scarlett Johansson. And Bill Murray, all over again)
The Blair Witch Project
South Park: The Movie
There's Something About Mary
The Big Lebowski
Being John Malkovich
Memento
American History X
Pulp Fiction
Reservoir Dogs
Jackie Brown
Boondock Saints
Adaptation
City of God
Almost Famous
Pi
Requiem for a Dream
Snatch
O Brother, Where Art Thou?
X-Men
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

There are many great movies I watched after college, some of which I consider my favorites, but I can't say they had the same impact on me as movies did in college or in my childhood. I'm not saying movies are not as good as they used to be (there's a lot more crap, but there was always crap) I'm just saying they just don't strike me the same way they did before. Maybe real world responsibilities have lessened the influence of movies on my life, maybe those responsibilities give me less time to focus on and enjoy movies, maybe Youtube and HBO has lessened the significance of the big screen, or maybe I'm just more stuck in my ways as I've gotten older and I've become harder to influence. I guess that's normal. We're like sponges as young people and like rocks as adults. Whatever the reason, there aren't many movies that have truly made an impact on me in a long time.

Except maybe Avatar. That shit was incredible (despite the corny dialogue). Nowadays, the pure talent of the movie-makers is what strikes me rather than the actual content, whether it's visual effects (Avatar/Inception), performance (Lincoln/There Will Be Blood), or story-telling (Inglourious Basterds/Django). I still appreciate and enjoy great movies, they just don't have the same impact as they used to.

Damn I'm getting old.

I Love You All...Class Dismissed.

It is who I am

I have been on this Earth, during this episode of existence, for over 11,000 days so far. I am hoping to go another 11,000. A lot of people like to measure their own mortality in years, giving into the idea that the concept of "age" really exists. I have shunned such thought (albeit logical) for a more radical outlook on personal growth. I have never bought into the notion that your age matters, but instead, it is the experience and your interpretation of those experiences that matter. Age is just a way for us to try and measure someone’s life in a comprehensible way, a way that makes sense to us. People always ask each other, "hey, how old are you?" Regardless of the answer, what does it really tell you about the person? NOTHING!!!! Telling someone my age does not given them any insight into me as a human besides the fact that I have survived this long. I know some 18 year olds that are more mature and serious than a lot of 30 year olds; some 30 year olds more mature than 50 year olds. I am sure we all do, and that has really been the sticking point for me to think of myself, and others, in terms of days, not year. Every day is a new experience. Every day is a chance to learn something, to evolve, to become a better person. Not every year, EVERY DAY. If more people took the time to slow down life and see that we all are just living in a collection of moments then it is of this humble opinion that people would be generally happier, more content and more satisfied with what they DO have instead of what they DON'T have. It sounds very hokey, but live for the moment. Life is fleeting.

You wake up one day and someone you love is gone. Do you think about how old you are at that moment or do you begin to reflect upon fond experiences you had with that person???? Age does not matter; how a person makes you feel does. Call me crazy (and a lot of people do) but if we treated each day with a passion for betterment of self and society, with a thirst for experience (good and bad) and with a desire to make tomorrow brighter for everyone, would the world not be a stronger, more harmonious place??? Of course, this utopian outlook is usually called foolish, impossible and downright hippy-ish. But just for a second consider it. Consider if people were no longer stigmatized by age, but instead what they know. Consider if people were encouraged to give back, instead of take. Consider if people forgot about time and ALWAYS just enjoyed the moment.

We are all we have done, all we have felt and all we have thought and that is all we are.

That Spirit of Christmas

Look around!!!! Did you lose it??? Have you found it??? Want some help????

It isn’t about presents, or food, or decorations or music. It isn’t about what you do or do not get. And it certainly isn’t about YOU.

It is about the Christmas Spirit, and nothing else. But what exactly embodies that spirit??? In a simple, but loaded word that holds different meaning to us all, LOVE.

Love for the family you only see around the holiday times. You know they love you, you know you love them. Nothing else really matters

Love for traditions and family “rituals.” Whether it is singing the “Chipmunk Song” with your sibling on the edge of your parents bed every Christmas morning or embarking to the same destination for Christmas dinner every year, it is that perpetual familiarity that we all reminisce about, and as we get older, long for.

Love for the wonder, innocence and imagination of kids. They believe in Santa. They love to sing simple songs like Rudolph. They can get more excited over an inexpensive plastic car that makes noises than any adult can for anything at that point in the season.

Love for the generosity of adults. In my parents house they had to build an addition just to be able to have enough space to keep all the gifts my mother buys. I am sure she is not alone in this notion of trying to appease and please everyone with the gifts they want. It is the ultimate form of unselfishness, and something more people should replicate.

Love for surprises, good conversation and even better laughter. When I was young, it was the enjoyment of hanging out with my cousins, looking out the window for Santa or sitting at the “kids” table. Now, nothing could take the place of seeing your family all in the same spot, sharing stories, cracking jokes and reflecting on the Christmases past while laying the foundation of “family” for the Christmases in the future.

Love for embracing sadness and creating happiness. There are people we have loved and lost, and, at the holidays, we always remember them more. That is good for the soul, even if it is accompanied by tears. And as we lose people to the inevitability of life, we continue to watch as our families fill in those gaps with news faces that stem from marriages and births. The cycle of life always continues, and Christmas reminds us of that.

Love for the hope of better and brighter days to come. Christmas is a time of renewal and rebirth. It is a chance to reflect on the years journey, and an opportunity to prepare for the days ahead. It is a reminder that as one year closes, a new one has just begun (Thank You John and Yoko).

So, as the late, great Ray Charles said, lets keep the true Spirit of Christmas with us, “ALL THROUGH THE YEAR.”

Read, Write, Think

Many, many moons ago, when my hair still lived above the bottom of my ears, I resided in Gretna, Louisiana; right across the river from the French Quarter in New Orleans. It used to be a 10 minute drive, at most, to possibly the biggest party spot in the entire U.S. Quite an amazing and inviting back yard for a bunch of 22 year olds. It was very easy to get lost in that laid back southern lifestyle. By the time I came home my hair was entering its current hippie-ish like state, I traded bandanas for kangols and I could not stop using the phrase ya'll ( to be accurate, I still find myself using this particular phrase). Those months spent in the South will always be some of the fondest of my life. And not because we lived right near a party so immense that it lasts 2 whole weeks, although that was very cool.

Now, there is many things I remember about that trip, and, interestingly enough, many things I do not. Certain moments are a little more hazy and vague than others, but there are also those moments that are as clear as day. Like when we literally took an entire street sign, post and all, loaded in our SUV and brought it back to our condo. I was never quite sure why we took it, but I can never forget going over the Mississippi River Bridge with a street sign pole hanging out the window. Classic!

The inspiration for this reflection comes from the fact that this upcoming Tuesday is Fat Tuesday and my friends are making the joyous journey back to New Orleans for some pure southern fun that, in this humble opinion, the whole world should experience at least once. Most of the travelers are first timers. But there is a wise Prof Thug Nug (finally got this hyperlink thing down) going on the trek and he will be able to show the others the correct partying path. Without question, fun will be had by all.

When I was living in Gretna, I told my roommates that instead of wasting the remaining days I had left partying day/night I would rather , READ WRITE THINK. This was met with laughter that is still heard today. It was an absurd notion that those three things were going to be able to be accomplished while living in such a lively city. I tried my best to do all three, although the time I fell asleep on the porch probably is a good example of occasional failures. I read a Hesse novel. I did write in notebooks, about what I read as well as any and all topics. Every now and then I stumble across those literary "gems"and read what I wrote. I kind of laugh at myself because it truly is so funny how at 22 I thought I had a good idea about how life would go. I thought I knew exactly where I would be when I was 31. I wrote about emotions that I thought I completely understood, and made philosophical assumptions without true experience. I did think. In fact, I did this more than anything else. I went on walks by the river, would sit on a bench for an hour or so and just watch people walk by. I thought about a lot of things. Some way more than others. I thought about my mother having breast cancer, I thought about my father man-ing up like always to deal with it, I thought about my brother and sister and the 2 beautiful twins they were about to have. I thought about my life, what would I do, who would I love, where would I live. The crazy part is the life I have is not even close to the life I imagined during those contemplative days. NOT EVEN CLOSE!!!! The life I lead is exponentially better than what my emotionally/spiritually feeble 22 year old mind could come up with. At that youthful age I could not mentally construct a vision of the future that took into account all the twists/turns, love/loss that would come to embody my own existence. But really, at 22, who can.

We all change. Acceptance of that fact makes a lot of things easier.

But something that has not changed is that I have not stopped reading, writing and thinking. I do it in different forms now, with different people in different ways, but I still do them all with the same passion I had as that young man with short hair stuffed underneath a baby blue kangol. I like to think that I have gotten smarter, we all do. But in reality, it is not smarter we get, it is only more experienced, wiser. Are You Experienced????

Thinking about New Orleans and writing about it so that other people can read about it...wow...circle!!!

Thank Ya'll for reading, come back now ya'hear!!!!

The Arnold Palmer 3

Steve slammed his fist against the railing, and instantly regretted his decision as his pinky finger stung with pain.

"Idiot," he muttered as he put his finger to his mouth and kiss-sucked on it to ease the pain. It was a habit he picked up at 7 years old, the first time he stubbed his finger on a basketball.

The elevator continued upward. Steve's mind berated him with a singular question, over and over: "Why did you come back here?"

"I don't fucking know," he sighed.

The doors opened and he stepped forward. As he put pressure on his foot, the pain was almost unbearable. Was a broken toe supposed to hurt this much? Maybe he broke his entire foot? It sure felt like it.

He decided to risk the embarrassment of any remaining employees seeing him and hopped his way to his office. He got to his door, opened it, and hopped to the couch in his office. He had never used the grey eyesore in the 3 years he worked there. It was a left-over from Paul, the guy who had Steve's job before he decided to take a swim in the Hudson River, after he dove off the George Washington Bridge, of course. He hated the couch, but right now he was glad he never had it removed. He plopped down on it, put his legs up on the armrests, and let out a loud sigh.

He wanted to take off his shoe and sock to look at his toe, but he was hesitant. His foot was throbbing like speakers at a rave, and he was a little scared to see what it looked like. Plus, what if he took off his shoe and couldn't get it back on?

He shut his eyes and tried not to think of the worst. Maybe he could get worker's comp out of this? Of course, that would require him telling people this story, and that wasn't happening. Besides, he wasn't on company grounds, and it was somewhat his fault. Ok, it was entirely his fault, but he shouldn't have to pay for it. Maybe he could say he fell inside the building? If he crafted a decent story and stuck with it, nobody would be the wiser.

Except he had a way of getting caught in every lie he ever told. Ever. A life of crime was not for him. His friends and family knew him as one of the most honest people in the world. He appreciated the thought, but the only reason he was so honest was because he knew he'd get caught otherwise. He was practical and realistic more than anything else.

And as a practical realist, he knew he had to get his toe looked at by a professional. These things didn't just "get better".

But he was so tired all of a sudden. The pain was draining him of all energy. A little nap wouldn't hurt. Five minutes was all he needed, then he'd mail that damn letter and drive himself home. He'd go to the hospital first thing in the morning. Right now he needed a nap, and tonight, he needed that Arnold Palmer.

He envisioned ice cubes swirling around in a light brownish liquid, the sugar from the iced tea and lemonade mixing perfectly with the vodka to create the refreshing taste of a summer breeze by the ocean.

That was going to taste good. He drifted off with a smile on his face.



"Ahhhhhhhh! Dammit!" Steve shot up straight on the couch and screamed as his foot hit the ground. In his sleep, he had turned over on his side, causing his legs to fall off the armrests.

"Dammit!" He yelled, reaching down to his foot.

He was still a little out of it from his nap. It took him a few seconds to recall everything that happened, and when it all came back, a wave of depression washed over him. He envisioned the future hospital bill, the constant pain and discomfort for the next few weeks, the awkwardness of walking in a cast on crutches, the inevitable conversations with every single person in his life about what happened.

"Dammit."

He got to his knees and crawled to his desk. He felt moronic, but it was easier than hopping. Besides, hopping around was equally moronic. He reached his desk and pulled himself up so he could rest his elbows on its surface. He looked at the small clock on his desk.

It read 8:30.

"8:30!"

Had he really been asleep for that long? How was that possible?

He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. Its screen read 8:29.

"Well, that's much better."

He pulled himself up on one foot. He needed to get the damn letter and get home. CSI was coming on soon, and that Arnold Palmer wasn't drinking itself.

He reached for the envelope.

Which wasn't where he left it.

Of course.


-end part 3

I Love You All...Class Dismissed.

First Rays of a New Rising Sun

               
Welcome to Wild World of the Weedle, where "peace" and "chaos" live happily in harmony. It is a pleasure to be able to write alongside such literary geniuses as the Prof. Thug-Nug and the unpredictable and infallible doggie, Stoned Willy Poonhound. What a blog this will be!!!!!!!


A "wise" person once told me that in order to change the world, you going to have to start from your corner. Consider this blog part of that corner. As has been written in the past, this blog will contain humor, fictitious stories, factual stories, music, art, feelings, emotions and a whole slew of truthiness about the realities of our lives and how we have perceived those experiences. It’s like a literary jambalaya for your souls and minds. Chicken Soup ain't got shit on the Weedle!!!!!!

 
All three of us have our own styles of writing, and all three styles are unique to our personalities. I know how I write. I know what I like to talk about and how I like to say things, in the same way that Prof. Thugalicious knows how he writes, and what he likes to write about. All three of us are different in that respect, BUT at the end of the day we all have the same goals in mind: to make our readers look at the world a little different, experience things a little differently and encourage others to read write and think (well at least me and the Prof want those things, that poonhound only got two goals on his mind, one rhymes with hugs the other with moon). As we throw more and more words onto these pages, I hope that people gain a greater insight into who we are, where we are from, what we think and how the mind of the Weedle works.


So, let’s begin this new day on this new blog!


Flashback 2001 - University of Connecticut


I woke up this morning, just like any other morning. Translation: I stayed in my bed until I was forcefully woken up by one of my three roommates at the time. That was how my college days living at E9 went. Schedule classes for late mornings, early afternoons and wake up when I liked and went to bed whenever. But this day was different. This day had a bad vibe from the onset. As I lay in my bed, damning the sun from shining through my window, my roommate Geoff came in the room with a look of concern on his face. He said something like, "Yo, there is some crazy shit happening right now." Half asleep, I am completely confused. He walks over to my TV, turns it on and changes the channel from its semi=permanent state of being on ESPN to the local news channel. After wiping the sleep from my eyes I began to see why he was so concerned. Right there on my little 13 inch TV I saw one of the Twin Towers with a big hole in it, on fire. WTF!!!!! As we both sat there watching, for a good ten minutes, all of a sudden we see the OTHER tower catching on fire. Oh Shit!!!!! We had no clue the who, what and why of the situation. All we knew is that we were looking at two of the most iconic buildings in the World, set on fire and in a state of emergency. It did not come out right away what exactly was happening so, I took my shower and, begrudgidly, went to class. I would have stayed home all day watching TV because I am a news whore when it comes to, well, anything of worldly importance. But instead I made the trek to my Amer. Lit. class. That is when things really started to hit home about the reality of what was happening. Once I am in class, a girl that sat about 4 seats away from me was crying her eyes out. The teacher walked in, took her out in the hall real quick to talk, then came back in alone. Our teacher told us that he sent the student home. We weren’t sure why she got to go back to her dorm, but we were still stuck in class. In that instance he explained to us why. He said that our classmate’s brother worked at the Twin Towers and she had no clue if he was okay. Instantly, that jealousy I had towards that student for getting to leave class early disappeared. She was now dealing with something that none of us had any clue how we would react to. She did not come back to that class that day, or ever. I never saw her again and I have always wondered what happened to her and her family. I am not sure f her brother got out, or if he was one of the fallen heroes in that tragic event. Either way I know that her and her family would never be the same. What I did not realize at the time was that I and everyone I knew would never be the same either.

 

UConn cancelled classes the rest of the day, which, if you have ever been to UConn, you know that is unheard of (unless we won the National Championship in Men’s basketball, UConn women get no love on campus.) I went back to my apartment and spent the rest of the day glued to the TV, trying to make sense of what was happening, and why, and how. No answers came that day, and some still have never been answered. Sports were cancelled. News stations only carried news about the Towers. Even the sports machine ESPN turned into CNN for the rest of the day. There were no highlights of Bonds hitting homeruns, just saddened sportscasters trying to figure out this mess just like the rest of us. As the towers crumbled into dust I could almost hear America, as a whole, crying. We had friends that called us up just to tell us that they loved us. I remember one friend who called and talked to all four of us living in our apartment because he just wanted to make sure we knew that he cared and truly hoped that this evilness he was witnessing would never touch any of us. It was pure and it was real, something Americans seem to lack more often than not. We should not wait till tragedy strikes to tell the ones we care for how much we love them in our lives. Do it every day, every chance because life is fleeting.

 

The fragileness and delicateness of life was one of the major lessons I took from that unparallel tragedy. Here I am, almost eleven years later, and I feel the need to write about it because those feelings I had that day have never left me and I am pretty sure they have not left ANYONE who is old enough to remember the impact it had on the nation. September 12th, 2001 was the first day of a new America, a New World. It was a chance for people to be better, to be nicer, to embrace differences more and work to make the world more harmonious. It was a new start for not only America, but the World. If we, as humans, harnessed that emotion we felt while watching the Towers fall everyday in our lives I like to think that we would be better towards one another. I like to think that if we rode that way of loving, positive nature we would be living in a world with less "haters" and more "lovers." But of all those things that I like to think about, of all those things that world could make the world better I still find myself thinking most about one single moment:

 

Did that girl from my class ever get to see her brother again????

 

Spread Love, Spread Peace