A Coma for Christmas

A coma for Christmas
No hope for the New Year
A mom in the hospital
A son's greatest fear

Time comes for us all
That's no surprise
But that knowledge means nothing
When she can't open her eyes

Machines give her breath
When her body can not
Doctors, nurses, robots
The only chance that she's got

They say she can hear me
I don't know if it's true
Besides, don't they know
I just want to hear you?

Just talking or singing
Or laughing with cheer
I'll take you yelling at me
Just as long as you're here

Two long days later
No tube for your breath
Your eyes start to open
You will not take her, Death.

A few days later
You're awake, you're talking!
You've seen the other side
And told Death to keep walking

Yet death is just one
Of many possibilities
What is life without cognizance
Without control
With senility?

It could be the meds
Or it could be confusion
A temporary adjustment
Or permanent delusion

Sometimes you're right here
Sometimes you're in the past
Sometimes you're in your own land
How long will this last?

I want to be happy
That you are alive
I want to smile and be strong
To see you survive

But the problem is,
The fact of the matter,
Is that my heart is ripped out
Stomped on
Shattered

I'm barely holding it together
Because this is my worst fear
To see you living
But not really here

But each day there's progress
Not much, but its true
Because nobody on this planet
Is tougher than you

Except maybe Dad
I've never seen such love
He's got me believing
In angels from above

A tender kiss on the hand
A whisper in her ear
A gentle rub on the shoulder
To let her know that he's near

He's been through so much
But damned if he'll show it
Yet it takes a huge toll
And we all surely know it

Because we all feel it, too.

It's the saddest thing
That I've ever been through
A step forward one day,
The next?
Step back two

The one saving grace,
For which I'm so thankful
The strength of my family
And the friends in my circle

I can't imagine my life
Without those around me
The sadness and pain
Would honestly drown me

Her friends are there, too
It's amazing to see
The love that's been shown
Is overwhelming to me

One moment I'm inspired
The next crippled by fear
The one thing I know
I'm glad she's still here

Some days she's her self
Funny, caring and smart
Some days she's...not
And it just breaks my heart

But she's coming home soon
We're thankful for that
She'll be in her element
With Dad, the dog, the new cat

For 20 plus years
She's battled a disease
That eats at her brain
And there's only one release

But she's not going down
Without fighting like crazy
I hope I have the courage
When the time comes for me

I love you Mom
I love you Dad
I love you friends
I love you family
These are not just words
It's the truth that defines me.


I Love You All...Class Dismissed. 

Happy New YeaaAAHHH!

If you’re anything like me, you grew up spending New Year’s Eve watching Dick Clark counting down the famous ball drop in Times Square.  And, if you’re anything like me, you’ve spent the past few New Year’s avoiding any tv countdown whatsoever, just so you don’t accidentally glance upon Dick's sagging face as you slam your 32nd jello shot.

Now I’m not insensitive. I’m not here to disparage stroke victims. I feel for anybody who’s suffered a stroke and any long-lasting effects. Having a stroke is one of my biggest fears in life. I hope one day science and medicine may be able to do much more to prevent and treat strokes. Maybe you can even help.

But I’m not here to philanthropize, either (I’m sending that one to Merriam-Webster for approval). I’m just here to talk about what everybody is seemingly ignoring: there is an 82-year-old stroke victim on national television hosting the biggest party of the year.

Not everybody is ignoring it. Some people blame the network for dragging him out year after year like a half-melted marionette. Some say that the network is banking off his name and his legend forcing this poor guy out there year after year. Those people say that the network should let him go and live his life in solitude and dignity. They say it’s a shame to see this legend as a weak, frail, feeble old man.

Others say that it’s Clark’s own ego that has kept him coming back to rock in the New Year. They say it’s his name on the show and he isn’t ready to give up the spotlight. He is hanging on to the last shred of fame until it is torn out of his cold, weak, old hands. They say his age and the stroke have made him even more stubborn in his refusal to step down. They say they should let some new, young host take over. They even say it's a bummer to see him during their New Year's parties.

I admit, the year he came back after the stroke, it was tough to watch him slur through the countdown. At 25 years old, I wanted to party care-free and enjoy my own perceived immortality.

But now I'm over 30. A little more flab around the belly, a little less hair on the head. He's still a bit hard to watch, but now I know that Dick Clark is a hero. 

I say we need him up there during the biggest party of the night. Nowadays, our sick and elderly are tucked away in assisted living facilities and nice, clean hospitals so us younger folk don't have to think about our impending fate. We watch movies and shows where elderly characters are played by young people in make-up because nobody wants to see an actual old person. Dick Clark is a much-needed dose of reality, during a very surreal event. As we celebrate one more full revolution around the sun by watching a giant silver ball slowly move downward 77 feet, Dick Clark is a constant reminder of the fleeting nature of our existence. Life can be gone, or forever changed, in an instant, oftentimes due to circumstances beyond our control. New Year's should be a time to reflect on our journey through life thus far, and Dick Clark reminds us to enjoy that journey while it lasts, and to hang on tight until the very last drop of life drains from our wrinkled, shriveled bodies. 

We need to party, and Dick Clark needs to party with us.

Personally, I hope Dick’s up there for years to come.

Besides, he’s still better than Ryan Seacrest.

I Love You All (especially Dick Clark)…Class Dismissed.