Well, if you were 10 year old me, you'd know right away. In fact, if you were 10 year old me, this is exactly what you drew when this celebrity's name came up during your turn at Win, Lose or Draw.
Sidenote: Win, Lose or Draw is wayyyy better than Pictionary. It's like the Oreo to Pictionary's Hydrox: it may have come later, but it perfected the formula.
Anyways, the image above was what I drew to help my teammates guess the answer on the card.
So who is it?
Be honest. My picture wasn't that far off, right?
That's the greatest musician to ever come out of Tennesee (sorry Elvis and Juicy J).
The legendary Dolly Parton, of course.
Ta-ta!
Maybe I was a perverted little boy, I don't necessarily dispute that, but that's not the point of this story. The point is, my teammates got the answer immediately. And my teammates were my brother and mother. So maybe my brother and I can be written off as pervs, but the fact that my mother knew instantly (as did our opponents, my dad and other relatives) shows just how powerful and recognizable those chest pillows are.
Seriously, ask anyone on the planet who Dolly Parton is and they probably know, and they will probably mention her breasts, or make some lewd gesture referring to breasts.
Yeah, something like that Donny.
Damn, it's impossible to escape this fucking guy, huh?
I never heard her music until long after I knew who she was. It's probably the same for most people. And the fact is, she knew that would be the case and played into it. Did she profit off of her sex appeal and abnormally large breasts? Absofreakinglutely. And you know what? There's nothing wrong with that.
Quite frankly, if anyone uses that to get ahead, I personally don't care. Women face enough obstacles, they can use whatever they need to even the playing field. And if guys can use their chest or abs or balls to get ahead, that's fine, too. Sex appeal may help get a foot in the door or even some fame and money, but eventually, there needs to be some kind of talent behind it all. I suppose an entire network of dedicated enablers can help, too.
Obviously, Dolly has the talent behind the tittays. I'm not a country fan but I respect musicians of any kind, especially musicians who can make a connection with so many people for so long. And especially those with a sense of humor about themselves. In any interview, it's clear she never takes herself too seriously; again, she admits to using her knockers to open doors for her. She also starred in "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas," a ridiculous movie where she's a madam at a brothel. Most female celebrities wouldn't come near that role, but she openly embraced her sex appeal because she knew she was more than that. And she was promoting safe and legal sex work before it was fashionable!
Obviously, Dolly has the talent behind the tittays. I'm not a country fan but I respect musicians of any kind, especially musicians who can make a connection with so many people for so long. And especially those with a sense of humor about themselves. In any interview, it's clear she never takes herself too seriously; again, she admits to using her knockers to open doors for her. She also starred in "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas," a ridiculous movie where she's a madam at a brothel. Most female celebrities wouldn't come near that role, but she openly embraced her sex appeal because she knew she was more than that. And she was promoting safe and legal sex work before it was fashionable!
Every story about her is great; she's obviously a genuine and sincere person. Rare for any celebrity, let alone a living legend. There's the incredible story about "I Will Always Love You," featured on Drunk History. Then, just last year she donated $1,000 a month for 6 months to people who lost everything in Tennessee wildfires. You think Hank Williams Jr. would help wildfire victims? Doubt it.
But the best story, the one that shaped much of her life, is the story of her dad. Her dad was a smart, hardworking man, but he was illiterate. As she got older, it bothered her that he didn't have the opportunity to get an education. So she started the Imagination Library, which mails books to children all over the world, every month, from when they are born until they are 5 years old. They've sent over 80 million books so far. All because she thought people like her dad deserved more in life.
How many books has Keith Urban donated to children? Didn't think so.
But the best story, the one that shaped much of her life, is the story of her dad. Her dad was a smart, hardworking man, but he was illiterate. As she got older, it bothered her that he didn't have the opportunity to get an education. So she started the Imagination Library, which mails books to children all over the world, every month, from when they are born until they are 5 years old. They've sent over 80 million books so far. All because she thought people like her dad deserved more in life.
How many books has Keith Urban donated to children? Didn't think so.
Oh, there's also Dollywood. That's pretty cool. I went there as a kid with my family. I honestly thought I might get to see her, or that maybe there'd be some revealing pictures of her all over the place. Neither were true. That was a disappointment but I don't think adolescent me could've handled it anyway. It was a cool amusement park, though. Carrie Underwood doesn't have her own amusement park.
You might be wondering what made me write this. Maybe I just wanted to bash other country singers. Maybe I just wanted to reminisce about a simpler time, when Win, Lose, or Draw was the height of entertainment and a quickly drawn stick figure could create lasting family bonds. Maybe I just wanted to google image search a young Dolly Parton.
In actuality, I happened to see a post about her book donations recently and I was blown away. It made me think of Dollywood and Win, Lose or Draw and childhood heroes but basically, I just wanted to share my appreciation for a great musician, artist, philanthropist, and person while she's still gracing Earth with her presence. I don't think we do that enough as a culture. We only appreciate people when they're dead, and only until the next dead celebrity.
Plus, Dolly was one of the first women I *noticed* and I'm happy that she turned out to be such a caring, giving person in addition to having awe-inspiring, mind-altering, world-renown, breathtaking, humongous hoo-has.
In actuality, I happened to see a post about her book donations recently and I was blown away. It made me think of Dollywood and Win, Lose or Draw and childhood heroes but basically, I just wanted to share my appreciation for a great musician, artist, philanthropist, and person while she's still gracing Earth with her presence. I don't think we do that enough as a culture. We only appreciate people when they're dead, and only until the next dead celebrity.
Plus, Dolly was one of the first women I *noticed* and I'm happy that she turned out to be such a caring, giving person in addition to having awe-inspiring, mind-altering, world-renown, breathtaking, humongous hoo-has.
I Love You All...Class Dismissed.
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