Monday, January 25, 2016
A Free Verse Poem About Poop
Today, my bearded dragon pooped.
4 solid black logs, one with a white tip.
When I got home, she was lounging in her pool, eyes closed, satisfied look on her face.
Was it really a satisfied look?
I don't know.
But I know I felt better.
She hadn't shit in about 3 weeks.
That is not the normal gestation period for a lizard's rectum baby.
It is not too abnormal for her in the winter months, though.
The cold causes lizard constipation.
I had given her several baths the past few weeks.
Warm baths help move the bowel movement through her body.
They seem to have helped.
As she doesn't make any sounds, and she is a lizard, it is hard to know how she feels.
Her normal behavior is lying around all day, mostly sleeping.
Her abnormal behavior is lying around all day, mostly sleeping.
You can see the dilemma.
But after she lays one down, I know she is healthy.
Solid poops are the first, and often best, indicator of health in animals.
Yes, that includes humans.
Vets and doctors both take stool samples to check on the status of their patients.
That which comes out tells us about that which is inside.
So yes, my lizard pooping makes me feel better.
Much like myself pooping makes me feel better.
Much like my friends telling me every detail of their precious child's poop seems to make them feel better.
It is the poop that binds us.
Poop is literal waste.
Poop smells gross.
Poop looks gross.
Poop feels gross.
Poop is gross.
But man, a good poop makes everything all right.
I Love You All...Class Dismissed.