Wednesday, July 4, 2018

Look at Yourself, America!

Hey everybody, it's The United States of America's 242nd birthday! I gotta be honest with you America...you look like shit! On this Independence Day, it's time to take a long look in the mirror...

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The Muslim Ban is now federal law!

Our government has taken over 2500 immigrant children from their parents with no plan to reunite them!

Actually, we don't know how many children they have (some estimates say over 11000) because the White House refuses to answer questions and the Department of Homeland Security is no longer providing that information!

Crossing the border illegally is a misdemeanor, and not one of the children or parents in detention camps are in MS-13!

There are 33,000 documented instances of abuse by ICE between 2010 and 2016 alone!

The former Chief Counsel of ICE was just arrested for stealing immigrants' identities!

ICE recently doubled its supply of M4 rifles and signed a $15 million contract with Colt firearms!

It's such an inhumane agency, even ICE agents want to abolish ICE!

The Trump administration is now looking to deport naturalized immigrants, aka US citizens!

Undocumented immigrants who have been here for decades and committed no crimes, some who have even served in the military, are being torn from their families and deported!

Legal immigrants are getting locked up for misdemeanors they committed 25 years ago!

The Trump administration has almost completely stopped taking in refugees, and the US is the reason those people are refugees in the first place!

The US is actively engaged in conflicts in Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, Niger, Somalia, and Yemen, using never-ending drone strikes and even more troops on the ground! although we'll never know because the Pentagon is no longer telling the public that information!

With the Yemen War, we have contributed to the worst humanitarian crisis in history!

10% of the homeless population is made up of US veterans!

Five US journalists were slaughtered at their office last week!

School shootings! Oh so many school shootings!

Also mall shootings! Movie theater shootings! Nightclub shootings! Concert shootings!

A black congresswoman has been threatened with lynching!

An opioid epidemic ravages the country while nobody does anything about it!

Rising healthcare and pharmaceutical drug costs, despite Trump's pledge to take on the pharmaceutical companies and give "the best health care to everybody"! Those same pharmaceutical companies making billions are directly responsible for the aforementioned opioid epidemic!

That fucking wall!

The President's main adviser is a Fox news pundit who promoted a conspiracy that Democrats killed a guy for leaking information and that top Democrats were running a pedophile ring at a pizza shop!

Trump legitimized the brutal dictator in North Korea, then claimed to have brought world peace, while the brutal dictator continues to increase his nuclear arsenal!

Nazis....Nazis everywhere! Literal Nazis are running for Republican congressional seats!

White people are still calling the police on minorities just for existing!

Police are still killing people, harassing minorities, and altogether abusing their power!

A 3 year old girl was awarded a $2.5 million settlement after a Chicago police officer pointed a gun at her chest!

The taxpayers have to cover that settlement!

Flint still has dirty water!

Thousands of water systems across the country have too much lead in the water!

Corporations have been using the enormous tax cut to buy back their own stocks at a record amount!

We now have the largest wealth gap in US history!

Donald Celebrity Apprentice Trump has appointed over 40 federal judges for LIFE!

Trump has appointed one Supreme Court justice and will pick another one...for LIFE!

The head of the Environmental Protection Agency actively hates the environment and is using the position to live like a King, while removing regulations on clean water and air!

An elvish hobgoblin, who was too racist to be a judge 30 years ago, runs the Department of Justice!

Former national parks and monuments have been opened up for drilling after Trump said he was returning the land "to the people"!

The Trump Organization continues to make money off the presidency by opening up hotels in other countries! Plus, foreign diplomats literally pay to stay in his DC hotel to influence him!

The Trump Foundation, a "charity" run by the Trump Organization, was really just a scheme to pay off his debts!

Trump University was determined to be a fraud and forced to pay a $25 million settlement...and 63 million people still voted for him!

Our President is punishing our closest allies, rewarding and befriending our worst enemies, making it harder for small businesses to operate, monetizing the presidency, embracing and endorsing white nationalism and open bigotry, and he has endorsed a pedophile, all while under investigation for corruption and standing accused of sexual assault by 19 people!

Top Democrats are worried more about "civility" than everything just mentioned!

Republicans now claim they want more civility, but they called the last President a foreign-born, Muslim monkey, and for the past 3 decades they've claimed that "PC culture is ruining the country!"

Democrats and Republicans worked together to pass a defense budget with an $80 billion increase! That increase alone could've paid for free college for every eligible American! Yay civility!

Stuttering John, a washed up comedian from the old Howard Stern show, outsmarted the entire Trump administration!

It was fun while it lasted yall! Happy final birthday, America!

I Love You All...Class Dismissed.

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