The Turtles as a Lesson in Child Development

Recently I was talking with my friend about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He was excited about the upcoming movie because his 6 year old son is a huge Turtles fan, and I was excited because I'm apparently 6 years old.

He told me his son's favorite Turtle was Michaelangelo, and it got me thinking about the classic cartoon and movie. To be honest, it doesnt take much to get me thinking about the original Turtles cartoon and movie, this just gave me a more logical reason to do so.

Michaelangelo was also my favorite character, and I always wondered what made people gravitate to individual Turtles. Everyone has a favorite, and I truly believe it has a lot to do with when your Turtle viewing begins. So I did some research (I've been doing research for this article for 27 years) and what I discovered may shock and astound you. Probably not, but maybe you'll find it interesting.

The amazing fact of the matter is, each Turtle represents a stage in childhood development. Although they are called teenagers, they act much younger, and in their early incarnations in the cartoon and movies, the intended audience was always younger than teenagers.

The cartoon started in 1987 when I was 7 years old. The audience for TMNT is approximately ages 6-11, which is considered middle childhood, and each Turtle is a representation of the ages within this developmental stage.

My favorite character was/is Michaelangelo because I started watching at the very earliest stages of middle childhood. 6-7 year olds are very playful and goofy; during this age, there is an increased desire for acceptance, which often causes children to act out in very silly ways. As we all know, Mikey is very silly, a party dude even, so he captures the essence of 6-7 year old kids perfectly. He wears orange, the brightest of all the colors, and one that is not particularly threatening. He is the class clown, the goofball of the bunch, but he is also a big part of the team and never lets his friends down. At this age, kids are starting to pay more attention to friendships and teamwork. At the same time, they are showing more independence from their parents and family. Splinter, as their father figure, is constantly scolding Mikey for his silly behavior, but even he can't stay mad at the little scamp because Mikey clearly cares about his friends and the greater good.

Yeah you!

Plus, Mikey uses nunchuks. Every little kid wants nunchuks!  They are a lot less deadly than the blades used by his friends and they look so cool (although those facts do little to help the inevitably bruised nuts every kid gets when trying them for the first time).

As a child gets older, their favorite Turtle often changes (mine changed on a daily basis until college) and the second Turtle to be loved and admired is usually Donatello. He can also be very silly (remember the pork rinds scene in the original movie?). Mikey and Donatello are clearly the jokesters, staying out of the serious conversation of their more mature pals. He uses a long stick as a weapon, something any (every) young boy has mastered by age 8, and one that is still not that deadly. He wears purple, a more serious color than orange, but still not threatening. In the movie, he is voiced by perennial man-child Corey Feldman, which proves my point more than anything else I'll say here.

It's okay pal, he was a global star at one point!

Like Mikey, Donatello shows independence while at the same time starting to understand the benefits of teamwork. From ages 6-8, children begin to understand more about their place in the world, and as that pork rind scene shows, Mikey and Donatello understand that they are not the leaders. They understand their roles in the team and they accept them.

Lastly, during this stage, there is less focus on one's self and more concern for others. In the movie, once Rafael gets beaten up, they calm down with the goofball antics and show a serious concern for their friend.

The next age range in the middle childhood developmental stage is about 9-11.
During this stage, the favorite becomes Leonardo. He is dark blue, the stereotypical boy color, and it also gives him a slightly more menacing look. At this age, children begin to see the point of view of others more clearly, which helps him as the leader of the group. He clearly tries to be the moral leader of the group; he is corny and straight-laced, but he does what is best for the team at all times. He also carries the deadliest weapon because he is responsible enough to handle it.

Finally, kids usually come around to Rafael. He's the moody, rebellious kid. He's cool, but rude. As the corresponding age group would suggest, he's constantly trying to break free from authority, clashing with Leo and going out on his own. Rap super-group Partners in Khryme actually call him the leader in the movie's theme song, Turtle Power, from the platinum selling soundtrack (yes, platinum selling) so kids respect that. He also wears blood red and uses knives (sai). He's a straight up gangster, and, he's into girls.

And Father Time says he chose well.

He is the hero to 11 year old boys everywhere.

Ok, you don't have to be so smug about it dude.

In all honesty, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were a big part of my childhood. I watched the cartoon religiously, I got all the action figures, I saw the movie when it first came out (and the second one unfortunately). I write this because I want to get page views I'm a little concerned about the new, Michael Bay produced movie. Not because I think I might not like it, that's beside the point. I'm not the intended audience. Ok well, I probably am, but nostalgic old men shouldn't be the intended audience. The Turtles were a weird, cheesy (ha! they loved pizza...cheesy...get it?) phenomenon for kids. The new movie goes with the now decade long obsession with turning everything dark and gritty (thanks Christopher Nolan!). The cartoon and original 2 movies (we won't discuss the 3rd, but at least it kept the spirit of the franchise) were very corny and campy and kid friendly. The new one is dark and violent. Megan Fox is April O'Neil for chrissake. April is supposed to be girl-next-door pretty in a yellow trench coat. Megan Fox is porn star hot with titties out. Wait... I'm complaining about this?? Jeezus I'm old.

Old conservative man complaints aside, the new movie looks like it takes itself way too seriously. Yes, the original comic was dark and gritty, but that was for a more mature audience. It started as a black and white, noir-like comic, like Sin City. Did you see that fucking movie? That shit ain't for kids. The Turtles shouldn't be Sin City.

Even as a kid, I realized the Turtles was one of the dumbest, most absurd ideas ever, but it was a lot of fun because of its idiocy. Talking ninja turtles named after Renaissance artists with a talking rat as a leader, fighting a living can opener? What the hell?! Parents didn't really get it, but it was all innocent fun, so they went along with it. It would be a shame if kids miss out on that innocent idiocy.

But what do I know. I'm sure it's gonna make a billion dollars and all the little boys will love the intense violence and Megan Fox. I would have.

I Love You All...Class Dismissed.

Kill Your Thoughts aka Editing

The hardest thing about writing is editing. Ok, the hardest thing is getting started. No, the hardest thing about writing is research. Actually...

You get the point. There is nothing easy about writing. There are so many facets to writing, and all of them are important in creating a satisfactory finished product. Each stage of the writing process contains a variety of difficulties; editing is just the final stage, and the most important.

Ever since I can remember, I always wanted to be a writer. What I never wanted to be was an editor, and nobody told me that all writers are editors.

All aspects of writing are frustrating, but editing is by far the most humbling. One misconception of writers is that they are "natural" and "born to be a writer." I disagree wholeheartedly; they may enjoy it more than those who don't write, but it never comes easy. It's hard work coming up with ideas and it's even harder getting those ideas down in a way that makes sense to others and expresses your true sentiments. So after all that work, the last thing you want to do is change the majority of it. You just busted your ass writing something, you don't want to reread it, you don't want to work on it anymore, and you definitely don't want to admit that it sucks.

Yet that is exactly what you need to do. When you're a professional writer, you have an editor and a lot of experience dealing with criticism and harsh revisions. As a student, you have the benefit of a teacher helping you edit, and even if the teachers' critiques are harsher than you expect, in a classroom there is an understanding that you will be judged on your work. Even in those situations, however, self-editing is still vital, and it can be an exercise in self-loathing and masochism. Sometimes you craft what you think is a perfect sentence, only to realize it doesn't fit with the rest of your paragraph, and you need the courage to get rid of that beautifully constructed combination of words. If you're honest, you will tear your own work to shreds, giving yourself even more work. It's a Sysiphean task, which is why I love it.

My first experience with the humbling editing process was my 8th grade graduation. I was tasked with making a speech by the principal of my elementary/middle school, Dr. Zoe Athanson (RIP). I spent several days and nights putting together a groundbreaking, mindblowing speech that would have my classmates and their families alternating between fits of crippling laughter and uncontrollable crying. I brought it to her office a few days before graduation with a cheesy grin, full of pride and self worth. She had me sit down in her office while she read it. She took out a pen and quietly, methodically, started scribbling, draining my self esteem with each swipe of her pen. After about 10 minutes, she gave it back to me, completely changed. The general ideas were the same, but the wording and structure were completely different. I didn't even recognize my own writing. Without telling me outright, her edits basically told me, "You don't want to embarrass yourself out there, so here's something more acceptable."

It stung a little bit. I figured she considered me a good writer since she asked me to write something, yet she clearly thought I was garbage.

After I got over my hurt feelings, the experience had a strange effect on me. I always considered myself a good writer (the qualifications included: writing on my own time) but this gave me a glimpse at reality. Just because you do a thing and you like doing that thing doesn't mean you do that thing well. I was hurt by her revisions, but the experience made me want to do better. I didn't want to be passing off her work as my own. I felt bad saying someone else's words; okay, I felt bad until the speech, then I owned it. Staring at all the people staring at me, I was just happy as hell not to be reading the crap I wrote.

In actuality, she had simply edited my paper, helping the golden nuggets that were my ideas shine through more clearly. I have since learned to do that more on my own, and I realized that my experience was something that all writers must face. At some point we have to confront the fact that we are not that good, and we need to improve. That's as hard a reality to accept in writing as it is in life.

I also learned how much editors actually do for writers. Some classic writers are rumored to have been extremely sloppy; are we really idolizing their work or the work of their editors? A lot of writers are upfront about how much their editors do for them; on the other hand, other writers are almost obsessive compulsive about editing their own work, never letting more than a few people see it until it is "perfect" in their minds.

Regardless, all writers realize the importance of editing,whether they do it themselves or with outside assistance. It is important to remember that revising is a separate mental process from creating, which is why it helps to have someone else edit your work at some point in the process. It's also why many editors are not the best writers and vice versa. Editing and creating use two completely different parts of the brain. It is impossible (well, certainly not productive, anyway) to edit while writing. Get everything out on paper, no matter how it sounds, then go back and work on it. That's the greatest part about a first draft: it can be complete trash and eventually turn into a classic.

 

First draft of George Orwell's 1984.

When you set out to write, remember James Thurber's words: "Don't get it right, get it written." You can get it right eventually, but you have to get it down, get it out there. We're all great writers in our heads, but nobody can read your mind. As Margaret Atwood said, "If I waited for perfection, I would never write a word." The greatest thing about writing is that you don't have to get it perfect the first time, or even second time, because there is the implicit agreement that you make when you start writing that you will respect the work, and yourself, enough to revise until it is right.

Or until you are absolutely sick of it and ready to set fire to your computer. That's when you know you are becoming a writer.

I Love You All...Class Dismissed.

The Trick to Life

"Be nice," is one of the more annoying platitudes in life. Every time I hear it I'm transported back to kindergarten play time. It's similar to "be careful" in the sense that we hear it so much (especially from authority figures) that it loses all meaning. It's extremely vague to begin with; what is "nice" anyway? It could be a million things to a million different people. Not to mention, these phrases don't help when it comes to outside influences. That tractor trailer blew through the red light and plowed into your Nissan and didn't give the slightest fuck about how careful you were. And no matter how nice you treat Bruce McShitstain during lunch period, he still gives you an atomic wedgie. So what's the point of even trying?

When it comes to being nice, there is a point. It's the whole point of living, in fact.

I just watched the entire first season of Maron on Netflix. It is a quasi-autobiogriographical account of the comedian Marc Maron's life, in the style of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Really, in the style of all "angry white guy strolls around and interacts awkwardly with others while pontificating on the peculiarities of life" shows(Curb, Louie) and I'm a sucker for all that shit. In the show, and in real life, Maron has a podcast where he interviews comedians and talks about his messed up life, especially his ex-wives and his former drug addiction. Maron is trying to become a better person by working though his issues. It's not easy, and he usually makes things worse, but there is an uplifting aspect to the show that keeps the viewers interested. Nobody wants to see some loser shlepping around and continually being a loser, we want some kind of arc in the characters we watch. Even Larry David grows as a person over the course of the series. He's still a complete neurotic asshole, but he also gives a kidney to his friend and takes in victims of Hurricane Katrina. He has an arc.

And we should want that arc for ourselves. When a character in a movie or show remains static and doesn't try to improve (whether they succeed or not) we get bored, but oftentimes, we're perfectly happy remaining static in our own lives. Even if our lives suck, many people would rather stay in the rut than make any attempt to get out of it, because trying is hard. Making improvements is hard. And that's not sarcasm, I'm completely serious. Trying to improve your own life is one of the hardest things in the world to do, but it's also one of the most important, and when you think about it, it should be your one absolute goal in life. Improve. Always improve.

It doesn't always work out, and sometimes we have to take one step back to get two steps forward (shoutout V.I. Lenin and MC Skat Kat) but I believe it is that struggle to do better that defines people, even those not trying to do better. Especially those not trying.

And I'm not just talking about financial or career success, although that's a part of it. I'm talking about becoming a better person. I believe that most of us want to do it, some are just more proactive about it than others. How many smokers have you heard say, "I'm trying to quit," or "I want to quit." Just because the majority don't actually quit, or lose weight or whatever, doesn't mean they don't want to or that they are not trying. Even those who are proactive oftentimes relapse, just ask any recovering addict; it's a never-ending torment. People who are unemployed, or unhappy at their jobs, or unhappy in their relationships, they want to change and improve, they just don't have the willpower or the know-how, and maybe outside forces are working against them, or maybe it's a combination of reasons. Life is just really hard. Waaah. (Seriously though.)

Unlike many people, I believe that humanity as a whole is improving and we are living in the best time to be alive; however, that doesn't negate the fact that being happy and successful is extremely difficult for the majority of people.

Everyone struggles. Some people have a much harder struggle, but all of us have some kind of personal struggle we deal with every single day. Don't discount other people's struggles. And be nice.

That kindergarten cliche is really the key to life. I promise. So does Robert Fulghum. No matter your outlook on life, being nice will help you become happier and more successful. Those who are naturally nice are better off, because they just get to act natural and it pays off for them. I'm naturally kind of an asshole, but at least I'm trying.

Now, even if you look at it from a pessimistic, selfish angle (or a "business-minded" angle, if you will) being nice is still in your favor. You want people to be on your side because you need them, whether it's to do work for you, or buy something from you, or maybe protect you from the Bruce McShitstain in your life, and the easiest way to get their trust and loyalty, or business, is to be nice. You catch more flies with honey and all that (even though that phrase has actually been proven inaccurate, the meaning behind the idiom is still true). What you put out in life is what you receive, and even if you're faking your niceness for your own benefit, when you do it long enough, it becomes natural and right. Besides, it's contagious, so you really can't help it.

I'm basically just reminding everybody of the golden rule and letting everyone know that being treated nicely is the best way to be treated. So be nice everybody. Take it from this kid...

Wouldn't life be better if we all acted like that?

I Love You All...Class Dismissed.